Kaffara #3 (GEO) Ali Ansari , Laiba Khan , Usman Peerzada - Page 24

Originally posted by: Priyankaakdha

i am gonna tag you going forward while writing about Sitara ... you have to support stop me

@Bold:

Here is your hug.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAQIOWgImUj/?igsh=MWNkYzZ4ejNlenEwdA==

Tahir pro max . .

Originally posted by: pressu

@Bold:

Here is your hug.

yaar ladki ko kisi ko toh support krna padega ...

varna balance kaise bnega

I was cheering for Salman yesterday. I am looking forward to watch him grilling Kiran, Zohaib , Taya and Tayi.

Originally posted by: awida

I was cheering for Salman yesterday. I am looking forward to watch him grilling Kiran, Zohaib , Taya and Tayi.

Originally posted by: bips

.... .No, in real life he would be filing a divorce just to get away from her and not still proclaiming love...

... Her being nicer than the people around her is not really a complement given how they are mostly despicable people.

Its a pretty known phenomenon that the abused sometimes become the abuser. You can extend them the understanding as to where they are coming from but they can't use that as an excuse to perpetuate trauma.. That's what sitara is doing.. She is emotionally damaging salaar.. You can't keep using your past traumas to destroy someone else.

Her relationship with nani is just a month old. While time doesn't measure love but salaar has been literally raised by nani. She knows how much he loves her. Yet she 1) blames him for her death 2) accuses him of not loving nani bec he apparently he said 'body'...

.... She doesn't need to be a great person or love him madly or be a good wife to just keep quiet... Just any decent person would have more sense/empathy to shut up.. This is not simply immaturity or dumbness but being a nasty person..

I'm not asking salaar to run away.. Leaving a toxic person does not count as running..

I don't know what the writer has done.. If your story is like 100 episodes you need to show character growth... Sitara ka growth negative ho gaya hai.. Your main leads actions should never be inexcusable.

No. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you here. I am not saying that Salar (or any one for that matter) should not leave or be able to leave their spouse if they feel they are unhappy (or even otherwise too, like if this is not a marriage they wanted or they were not ready to get married or lot of such other scenarios). What I am saying is that marriages do not break down so easily and unfortunately, socially and legally cannot be broken down so easily.

I am not complementing Sitara at all. I am just trying to state a fact. That is not a complement. She is a good person, not a nice or even a kind person. She is good on the overall, on occasions, she had been absolutely a nightmare, absolutely mannerless, crude and even outright nasty. When I compare her with those around her, I genuinely mean it. Salar himself is surrounded by a lot of selfish people and Sitara has been, despite her many failings, the person who has given more chances than others around him had given him and he himself deserved. It is easy to forget in the context of her misbehaviour towards Salar at the funeral, that just one day prior to all this, she was the only one standing besides him. Could she not have (or more accurately, should she not have) presumed the worst in Salar and left him given her otherwise lack of trust in him? Especially since even people who knew him for years, even his own parents, were not willing to give him a chance. You can say that Zayan's call might have the sole reason why she trusted him. But on the converse, Sitara could have always questioned that why did he go for a project to Zayyan's party and farmhouse again, why did he not tell her about it before leaving, why was he even alone with Sahiba if he was working. But she did not. She put her trust in what she knows of Salar and stood by him. She even risked her safety, met up with someone who harassed her and apologised to him to secure an evidence that may or may not have existed and could have easily been withheld by Zayyan. She even took the intiative to take Salar out on a "date" and away from the heavy and toxic environment despite the seriousness of the situation. Her current reaction is an outcome of grief and perceived breach of a deathbed request. Does that excuse her misbehaviour? Absolutely not. Particularly since it is against the person who had secured her this relationship and himself is grieving. But is it narratively understandable? Yes and unfortunately, even Salar seems to understand this.

That being said, what Sitara is doing at the funeral is absolute bullshit. You might be grieving and there is a huge miscommunication (and bad timing) but that does not hand over her some pass for hurting others especially someone who is grieving. The body thing I still understand. I have arranged funerals during Covid myself and I assure you that some people are more sensitive regarding this. I myself reacted pretty badly the first time it happened and had been on tiptoes during the second time. The khaa jana and guilt thing is a very huge miscommunication and bad timing and these two need to sit down and clear things out. Even if you think that your husband breached a request you made at someone's deathbed, this is not the time to misbehave with him. I am glad that people both in-universe like Saba and Sana and out-universe like the fandom including people like me who usually defend her are calling her out on her bullshit. Saba essentially told her in a very polite manner to cut the crap, grow up and be the wife and DIL that she is supposed to be. Quite frankly, she owes Salar one hell of an apology after that. The promo showed that she cleared some sense knocked back into her by Saba and now had gone forth to do the right thing. I hope to God that she starts out with an apology because she is seriously in the wrong with her behaviour this time.

Coming back to what you rightly said about when the abused become the abuser. Completely agree with that. In lots of cases, this is what happens. Most people are unable to break out of that cycle and stay locked up in that. However, I disagree that Sitara is toxic or a genuinely nasty person. She is a prime example of "hurt people hurt others". As of now, had she continued on the line of what she was doing on the days following immediately after the nikah, I would definitely categorised her as toxic. But she was trying to step up even if it was under a faux truce and stood by her husband like a rock when he needed her the most prior to this. Right now, however, what she is doing can be categorised as lashing out and thankfully, people around her even in-universe are calling her out on her bullshit and thankfully, within less than half a day that seemed to have reached through to her head.

But here is also the thing. Even if we (or least that part of the fandom which is trying to make sense of her behaviour) can see her misbehaviour as just lashing out in grief given that we have the full context of the story unlike Salar (quite the reverse of whatever shenanigans Salar had pulled off on her life and we categorise that as romantic even though it must have been frightening to Sitara without the context), does that mean that can Salar or others around him not perceive her actions as toxic or cruelty especially since they do not have the context in which she is behaving in that manner? And the thing is that they do. Nani thought Sitara was not sincere about Salar because she misbehaved with him in front of his parents and even her. While quite frankly Salar should have told Nani the truth about why Sitara is so mad and about the deal instead of cooking up a whole other lie (Nani would have been disappointed with him all the same with the truth too but at least it would been the truth), it is Salar's lie that secured Nani's protection for Sitara, the same for which now Sitara is hurting Salar. And are others like Saba and Sana not calling her out even on this instance according to what they are seeing? Definitely they are. Now comes the question that if others around Salar do recognise Sitara's misbehaviour towards Salar and call her out on it, why is that Salar himself is not doing that? After all, he has been a remarkable straightforward person, someone who cuts bullshit, especially Sitara's, down and does not allow others to step onto him. Why is he behaving in what is perceivably a doormat to Sitara's misbehaviour?

And here comes in Salar's maturity. For someone who shows remarkable lapses in sensibility from time to time, in case of Sitara, especially since they have gotten married, Salar has shown remarkable amounts of patience and maturity. Of course, he is hurt. Of course, he gets mad at her. Of course, he gets tired and exhausted by fighting with her. He himself has called her out on ignoring his pain. But at the same time, Salar knows. He knows Sitara is not trying to be deliberately cruel or toxic. She is lashing out in grief and he is trying to give her that space, amazingly enough even when he himself needs the support. Once previously when Salar called her out on ignoring his pain, Sitara did feel guilty, got senses back and stepped up. Even here right now, that is needed. It is good that once sense came knocking back on Sitara's door, she is trying to step up if the promo is anything to go by and be the support that he needs her to be to her. That even when she is grieving, if Salar had stepped aside momentarily to prioritise her grief and let go of her cruel remarks, it is now her turn to step up and set aside her own grief and ensure that Salar is able to do so.

On the converse scenario, if Salar would have perceived the situation like he does, if he genuinely felt exhausted and no longer wanted to deal with Sitara regardless of with or without the context, he is perfectly within his full rights to do so. While I do not condone the assertion that Sitara deserves to be alone for the rest of her life (only until she fixes her own mental health and is able to form meaningful and healthy relationships and maintain them without external support) or that love does not suit her (she is literally a traumatised and abused person who is barely more than a teenager who is living with a semi-hostile marital environment), I would have supported Salar if he ever wanted to leave regardless of his reasons.

To my understanding, two people should stay together only if they want to stay together. Anything else does not matter and if any else matters, then the partner should make a clean cut and leave. Of course, in real life, it is a far more difficult process and a much more messy scenario. In real life, your partner disappoints you in one instance and then comes through like no other in other instances. There will be times it might seem like a nightmare and that you made a mistake by choosing this person and then within hours or days, they do something that makes you feel that God had truly been kind to you. It is really not that easy to leave or file for divorce. Of course, there are marriages like where abandonment happens. But those are that which never had the same amount of emotional investment that Salar and Sitara towards each other. In case of Salar, he himself does not perceive Sitaraa's caustic behaviour as something worth over which he would leave her for good. Yes, he is exhausted and probably there will be a limit before he explodes back at her. But that is the thing. He will explode back at her but he will never leave her. He fight for her, fight with her but never accept a life without her in it. And for this matter, he is willing let her use him as a punching bag for the time being. What most people forget that it is Salar who will never divorce Sitara regardless what she might say or do because he is pretty obsessed with her. Yes, he does love her but he is also the one with the firm grip on her hand. If this had been a case where Salar was not as obsessed with Sitara as he is, I could envision him leaving Sitara and filing for divorce and rightfully so for all the right and justifiable reasons. Even I would have gone neutral and supported him because in that scenario, Sitara would have lost the one genuine person she had due to her own deeds or stupidity. But the story is not that. Salar has no intentions of doing that and he seems to have the maturity to look past that. For that reason alone, I try my best to understand his perspective regarding this scenario. You are right when it is the writing that is failing to step up. To lengthen this story , they are creating this unnecessary scenarios and unnecessary reactions. It looks and feels terrible.

Ultimately, what Nani said is true. Peace is what people look forward to. In case of Sitara and Salar, much of the troubles have been created by people around them. Not saying they themselves have not created trouble but ultimately, these two would have been happy if they would have been just left by themselves without continuous interference from others. I am hoping that after these two move out to Nani's house, they get some space. I am assuming Mehreen (and we are yet to get rid of Sahiba) will still try to play the villain but she will be doing it from a distance. These two need some space and sukoon and so do we as an audience. Like we are the ones in a toxic relationship with this show.

i miss this vibe in their scenes

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_Zb1EqvrAJ/?igsh=MWwxMGhpa3JlOHFwZg==

I am sorry this went so long. Like I was typing and drafting it on my phone. I did not realise how long this was. I am so sorry.

Originally posted by: roopshas1

No. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you here. I am not saying that Salar (or any one for that matter) should not leave or be able to leave their spouse if they feel they are unhappy (or even otherwise too, like if this is not a marriage they wanted or they were not ready to get married or lot of such other scenarios). What I am saying is that marriages do not break down so easily and unfortunately, socially and legally cannot be broken down so easily.

I am not complementing Sitara at all. I am just trying to state a fact. That is not a complement. She is a good person, not a nice or even a kind person. She is good on the overall, on occasions, she had been absolutely a nightmare, absolutely mannerless, crude and even outright nasty. When I compare her with those around her, I genuinely mean it. Salar himself is surrounded by a lot of selfish people and Sitara has been, despite her many failings, the person who has given more chances than others around him had given him and he himself deserved. It is easy to forget in the context of her misbehaviour towards Salar at the funeral, that just one day prior to all this, she was the only one standing besides him. Could she not have (or more accurately, should she not have) presumed the worst in Salar and left him given her otherwise lack of trust in him? Especially since even people who knew him for years, even his own parents, were not willing to give him a chance. You can say that Zayan's call might have the sole reason why she trusted him. But on the converse, Sitara could have always questioned that why did he go for a project to Zayyan's party and farmhouse again, why did he not tell her about it before leaving, why was he even alone with Sahiba if he was working. But she did not. She put her trust in what she knows of Salar and stood by him. She even risked her safety, met up with someone who harassed her and apologised to him to secure an evidence that may or may not have existed and could have easily been withheld by Zayyan. She even took the intiative to take Salar out on a "date" and away from the heavy and toxic environment despite the seriousness of the situation. Her current reaction is an outcome of grief and perceived breach of a deathbed request. Does that excuse her misbehaviour? Absolutely not. Particularly since it is against the person who had secured her this relationship and himself is grieving. But is it narratively understandable? Yes and unfortunately, even Salar seems to understand this.

That being said, what Sitara is doing at the funeral is absolute bullshit. You might be grieving and there is a huge miscommunication (and bad timing) but that does not hand over her some pass for hurting others especially someone who is grieving. The body thing I still understand. I have arranged funerals during Covid myself and I assure you that some people are more sensitive regarding this. I myself reacted pretty badly the first time it happened and had been on tiptoes during the second time. The khaa jana and guilt thing is a very huge miscommunication and bad timing and these two need to sit down and clear things out. Even if you think that your husband breached a request you made at someone's deathbed, this is not the time to misbehave with him. I am glad that people both in-universe like Saba and Sana and out-universe like the fandom including people like me who usually defend her are calling her out on her bullshit. Saba essentially told her in a very polite manner to cut the crap, grow up and be the wife and DIL that she is supposed to be. Quite frankly, she owes Salar one hell of an apology after that. The promo showed that she cleared some sense knocked back into her by Saba and now had gone forth to do the right thing. I hope to God that she starts out with an apology because she is seriously in the wrong with her behaviour this time.

Coming back to what you rightly said about when the abused become the abuser. Completely agree with that. In lots of cases, this is what happens. Most people are unable to break out of that cycle and stay locked up in that. However, I disagree that Sitara is toxic or a genuinely nasty person. She is a prime example of "hurt people hurt others". As of now, had she continued on the line of what she was doing on the days following immediately after the nikah, I would definitely categorised her as toxic. But she was trying to step up even if it was under a faux truce and stood by her husband like a rock when he needed her the most prior to this. Right now, however, what she is doing can be categorised as lashing out and thankfully, people around her even in-universe are calling her out on her bullshit and thankfully, within less than half a day that seemed to have reached through to her head.

But here is also the thing. Even if we (or least that part of the fandom which is trying to make sense of her behaviour) can see her misbehaviour as just lashing out in grief given that we have the full context of the story unlike Salar (quite the reverse of whatever shenanigans Salar had pulled off on her life and we categorise that as romantic even though it must have been frightening to Sitara without the context), does that mean that can Salar or others around him not perceive her actions as toxic or cruelty especially since they do not have the context in which she is behaving in that manner? And the thing is that they do. Nani thought Sitara was not sincere about Salar because she misbehaved with him in front of his parents and even her. While quite frankly Salar should have told Nani the truth about why Sitara is so mad and about the deal instead of cooking up a whole other lie (Nani would have been disappointed with him all the same with the truth too but at least it would been the truth), it is Salar's lie that secured Nani's protection for Sitara, the same for which now Sitara is hurting Salar. And are others like Saba and Sana not calling her out even on this instance according to what they are seeing? Definitely they are. Now comes the question that if others around Salar do recognise Sitara's misbehaviour towards Salar and call her out on it, why is that Salar himself is not doing that? After all, he has been a remarkable straightforward person, someone who cuts bullshit, especially Sitara's, down and does not allow others to step onto him. Why is he behaving in what is perceivably a doormat to Sitara's misbehaviour?

And here comes in Salar's maturity. For someone who shows remarkable lapses in sensibility from time to time, in case of Sitara, especially since they have gotten married, Salar has shown remarkable amounts of patience and maturity. Of course, he is hurt. Of course, he gets mad at her. Of course, he gets tired and exhausted by fighting with her. He himself has called her out on ignoring his pain. But at the same time, Salar knows. He knows Sitara is not trying to be deliberately cruel or toxic. She is lashing out in grief and he is trying to give her that space, amazingly enough even when he himself needs the support. Once previously when Salar called her out on ignoring his pain, Sitara did feel guilty, got senses back and stepped up. Even here right now, that is needed. It is good that once sense came knocking back on Sitara's door, she is trying to step up if the promo is anything to go by and be the support that he needs her to be to her. That even when she is grieving, if Salar had stepped aside momentarily to prioritise her grief and let go of her cruel remarks, it is now her turn to step up and set aside her own grief and ensure that Salar is able to do so.

On the converse scenario, if Salar would have perceived the situation like he does, if he genuinely felt exhausted and no longer wanted to deal with Sitara regardless of with or without the context, he is perfectly within his full rights to do so. While I do not condone the assertion that Sitara deserves to be alone for the rest of her life (only until she fixes her own mental health and is able to form meaningful and healthy relationships and maintain them without external support) or that love does not suit her (she is literally a traumatised and abused person who is barely more than a teenager who is living with a semi-hostile marital environment), I would have supported Salar if he ever wanted to leave regardless of his reasons.

To my understanding, two people should stay together only if they want to stay together. Anything else does not matter and if any else matters, then the partner should make a clean cut and leave. Of course, in real life, it is a far more difficult process and a much more messy scenario. In real life, your partner disappoints you in one instance and then comes through like no other in other instances. There will be times it might seem like a nightmare and that you made a mistake by choosing this person and then within hours or days, they do something that makes you feel that God had truly been kind to you. It is really not that easy to leave or file for divorce. Of course, there are marriages like where abandonment happens. But those are that which never had the same amount of emotional investment that Salar and Sitara towards each other. In case of Salar, he himself does not perceive Sitaraa's caustic behaviour as something worth over which he would leave her for good. Yes, he is exhausted and probably there will be a limit before he explodes back at her. But that is the thing. He will explode back at her but he will never leave her. He fight for her, fight with her but never accept a life without her in it. And for this matter, he is willing let her use him as a punching bag for the time being. What most people forget that it is Salar who will never divorce Sitara regardless what she might say or do because he is pretty obsessed with her. Yes, he does love her but he is also the one with the firm grip on her hand. If this had been a case where Salar was not as obsessed with Sitara as he is, I could envision him leaving Sitara and filing for divorce and rightfully so for all the right and justifiable reasons. Even I would have gone neutral and supported him because in that scenario, Sitara would have lost the one genuine person she had due to her own deeds or stupidity. But the story is not that. Salar has no intentions of doing that and he seems to have the maturity to look past that. For that reason alone, I try my best to understand his perspective regarding this scenario. You are right when it is the writing that is failing to step up. To lengthen this story , they are creating this unnecessary scenarios and unnecessary reactions. It looks and feels terrible.

Ultimately, what Nani said is true. Peace is what people look forward to. In case of Sitara and Salar, much of the troubles have been created by people around them. Not saying they themselves have not created trouble but ultimately, these two would have been happy if they would have been just left by themselves without continuous interference from others. I am hoping that after these two move out to Nani's house, they get some space. I am assuming Mehreen (and we are yet to get rid of Sahiba) will still try to play the villain but she will be doing it from a distance. These two need some space and sukoon and so do we as an audience. Like we are the ones in a toxic relationship with this show.

i have the same thoughts as you ... Honest till now Sitara is doing everything within the scope of the story ... i definitely don't agree with some of her lines , but i am gonna blame that on writer ..

one thing i have noticed about sitara is she reacts very strongly in the beginning but after sometime she calms down ... like once she said in this scene ..

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-km4NoMd4O/?igsh=MXJpdTd6NmZ0YWZ3NQ==

Originally posted by: Priyankaakdha

wow ... that was so long 😂

i have the same thoughts as you ... Honest till now Sitara is doing everything within the scope of the story ... i definitely don't agree with some of her lines , but i am gonna blame that on writer ..

one thing i have noticed about sitara is she reacts very strongly in the beginning but after sometime she calms down ... like once she said in this scene ..

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-km4NoMd4O/?igsh=MXJpdTd6NmZ0YWZ3NQ==

attaching the link again