*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 139

“Our souls, are but leaves in a storm, and only the gods know where we will come to rest.”

inthama karuvaattu koodai munnaadi po

thenampettai super market irangu

Chittukuruvi

It has been a long time since I boarded a city bus and travelled anywhere inside Chennai. Sometimes, I am tempted to do so for the bus terminus is just close by and all those empty buses seem to whisper to me to come and board them as I used to do all those years ago. I look at the boards declaring their final destinations and I remember how I used to sit near the window and travel from Nungambakkam to Parrys and from Parrys to the airport and then to Vadapalani and back to my final destination. Sometime during 6th or 7th std bus tokens came in and with them, one could travel all over Chennai with no questions asked. Gone were those thin bus passes being jotted morning and evening like we do with the milk card. I really don't know why I sat, rode the green bus away from everywhere and into nowhere, but there it was, this strange flight of imagination.

Obviously, lies and tall tales were spouted freely when I returned home late in the evening or when I set off to school on a holiday. With absolutely no fear, panic or any thoughts about being kidnapped, I ooru suthufied Chennai and the only bad incident was with Basu when we got caught for travelling without tickets on the electric train. My own logic dictated that I was not worth kidnapping and was absolutely sure that kidnappers would let me immediately when they realized that they had nabbed an orphan who was in fact trying to make his own getaway and also I would have managed to bore them to death with my sob stories.

On days like those, I used to switch my breakfast for lunch and hurriedly have the curd rice or lemon rice that was packed and stuff the idlis or dosas into my tiny tiffin box. My favourite combo is idli, sugar and ghee and even now when my Hitler better half fills the plate with steaming idlis and spicy chutney, I roll my eyes and quiver my lips and well, sugar and ghee are poured and mixed and my day is done for I have died and gone to heaven.

I cannot tell you how many times I have set in empty bus terminuses eating my idli or dosa with sugar and ghee and waited for the bus to start rolling and with my head plastered on the window grill, watching the world fly by. New people, new cars, bikes, new buildings whizzed by taking me away from my existing life as the road unwinded itself like a giant black serpent was slipping out of its coils and darting ahead.

My first ride on a madras city bus was probably in my 2nd std and well my cousin sisters Aruna, Asha were there to watch over me. But that changed when we came to Kothari road and I was put in Krishnaswamy matriculation school on Sterling road. Since it was just down the road, I mostly walked the km distance or sometimes I would get dropped by the car that would take Bindu to good shepherds and Bujju to don Bosco in Egmore.

At present, I would love to get on a bus and take a jolly ride around the city but I don't for I cannot stand it even for a single second when people stare at me. I know as an actor that I have to get used to people looking and asking for selfies but the thing is I don't take myself or my career seriously and get highly irritated when people stare and literally growl and scowl back. I didn't like it when I was a kid, a nobody and I still don't like it to this day even though I have become a tiny somebody.

This wind in the face, this flight of escapism all got a boost and new wings when I sat on my own motorcycle and drove madly to Bangalore to Kerala and all the way to Goa and so many other places. It got better when I sat in my first car and I drove all over town with Rock music blasting away.

Today in my middle-age, I prefer an ola, uber or a fast track cab than drive and I even prefer to walk short distances when previously I used to take the car. So, I guess riding the city buses would be a natural evolution and back to where it all began.

Obviously, I will sit near the window just behind the driver and watch the road unwind as the bus forges forward.No more green and white uniform, no grandmom, no school, no curd rice, but that brown-faced kid with his curly brown hair is still alive and running around deep in my soul.

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day and a great weekend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLJluxRG9g0

When we are looking for the unexpected, we are not only looking for the unexpected in ourselves, but we are also curious about the unexpected in the behavior of the others. So as to know the others, we have got to learn how and where they differ from us. By understanding this, we are able to establish an uplifting link with otherness.

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers, or by using the words ‘for ever.’ But love can only truly be measured by actions. It can be a small thing, such as peeling an orange for a person you love because you know they don’t like doing it.

A soul knows exactly which soul to trust and to reach out to. A soul seeks out that which is seeking it out. In the end, we are all souls trapped in different bodies, travelling in different directions and towards different destinations.

Everyone needs a place where they can go to just ponder for a while. Silence is important; it's the only time you can hear the whispering of truth - Glenn Beck

“I thought how lovely and how strange a river is. A river is a river, always there, and yet the water flowing through it is never the same water and is never still. It’s always changing and is always on the move. And over time the river itself changes too. It widens and deepens as it rubs and scours, gnaws and kneads, eats and bores its way through the land. Even the greatest rivers- the Nile and the Ganges, the Yangtze and he Mississippi, the Amazon and the great grey-green greasy Limpopo all set about with fever trees-must have been no more than trickles and flickering streams before they grew into mighty rivers.

Do I change like a river, widening and deepening, eddying back on myself sometimes, bursting my banks sometimes when there’s too much water, too much life in me, and sometimes dried up from lack of rain? Will the I that is me grow and widen and deepen? Or will I stagnate and become an arid riverbed? Will I allow people to dam me up and confine me to wall so that I flow only where they want? Will I allow them to turn me into a canal to use for they own purposes? Or will I make sure I flow freely, coursing my way through the land and ploughing a valley of my own?” Aidan Chambers, This is All: The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn

Have you ever stood in a busy,fast moving and preoccupied crowd ?. Have you wondered seeing the thousands of people going here and going there and they all seem to be going somewhere ? Life is the highway and all souls are traveling out and traveling in.We see only the physical aspects of our bodies and we stand witness to the so called death of the body.But we are dying every second physically and also making new selves and we are also dying in our souls when we are not loved,when we are lonely and when we are rejected.But you and your soul have everything and loneliness is the first step of letting go and aspiring for something bordering on spiritual and a place which is reserved for few.your seat is ready and booked in advance if you want to board that trip.but you have to take that step.But how will you take that step when your family is holding your hand and how will you begin that journey when you have so many responsibilities.Ponder and keep pondering.

Bonds that bind and in them it matters not if one is kind or unkind.

Bonds of the flesh and they are tied with bonds of the soul

one with the mother and one with the lover

the mother could be of flesh or she could be one who is kind enough to be a mother

and a lover could be just that or a legally bound spouse

but both tie you in their flesh and both let you breathe in their soul whispers

One is maternal and the other one is marital or extra marital

touching,nursing,cuddling,cajoling,bathing and fighting

only these two will do and it is by which the world exists

and for man,bird and beast or beast man

they are sacred bonds and they bind you in flesh and soul

for even the most dearest friend only binds you in your soul

and so mother and spouse rule the house

and no not the house that jack and jill built

not the house that is made of brick and stone

but the house where your soul and god makes his home

Vaanathai Pola 270

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar realized his mistake as he connected Dhana, Arul and Jothi with Rudran and Renu and he immediately folded his hands and apologized profusely to the twins.

' Please forgive this old man's fading memory power. I don't know why but somehow the memory of that night when sir intervened and saved all of us is just lost to me.'

Arul smiled, ' sir, maybe the reason for that is the trauma that you suffered that night. Bombs, explosions, killings and danger are not an everyday event and having experienced all of that and that too with your pregnant daughter must have been too much to cope on a daily basis. So, the brain gradually moves those memories and hides it away and they return only when it is absolutely necessary.'

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar nodded with a look of amazement filling his face and then he requested them all to sit down. ' Please, sit down and make yourselves comfortable and treat this place like your own home.'

Arul and Jothi thanked him and sat down and sank into the plush comfy leather furniture and both sighed in pleasure which prompted Renuka to say, ' I know the feeling and I confess that sometimes I drift away into a deep sleep sitting in one of these sofa chairs.'

The chief butler Fernandez himself came out pushing a trolley filled with pots and cups and looked at the guests enquiringly.

' They are coffee drinkers, Mr Fernandez like Rudy and Appa. So, coffee it will be.'

Fernandez spoke in a deep baritone voice, ' Very Good Ma'm' and then looked at Arul and Jothi who looked back and asked them, ' Coffee, yes. But, Instant or Filter coffee. Milk or without milk, and how much sugar will it be?'

Renuka clapped her hands and told the twins, ' Mr Fernandez had been with us for nearly 30 years now and is the real power in the house and that power supersedes even that of my Dad's and which in itself is a miracle. He is the definition of the word perfect and is maybe better than that word perfect.'

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar joined Renu and added, ' If a dictionary in which human examples are given for words, only one human will be used for the word, perfection and that human is, Mr Fernandez.'

Mr Fernandez folded his hands before him and stood gazing at all of them with an incriminating look and yet he did that with grace and dignity.

Then Arul and Jothi saw his lips move so very slightly but all of them heard his voice as it spoke and enquired politely, ' Will the guests be staying for breakfast?'

Arul and Jothi looked at each other and before they could say anything, Renuka answered for them, ' Mr Fernandez, they will stay for breakfast and they will be here the whole day and more. Please, make sure that two of our guest rooms are ready for them to stay.'

' Very good ma'am but will it be the rooms that are outside the house or the ones inside the house?'

' Inside the house, Mr Fernandez. They are not guests but a part of our family' Renuka said and Jothi looked at her ' My queen, so there are rooms inside and outside?'

' Yes, Jothi.'

Arul glanced at Jothi who shook her head and he, in turn, glared at her and shook her head.

Mr Fernandez looked at them slightly puzzled and said politely, ' Please forgive me for interrupting your own private conversation but the question still stands unanswered.'

Arul's shoulders slumped and it was obvious that he had lost and Jothi spoke for both of them, ' Will it be okay for one of us to stay outside the house while one stays inside the house?'

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar looked at Fernandez who nodded politely and said, ' Very good sir. The rooms will be ready in a few minutes' and left them and the serving of the coffee to themselves.

Renuka said, ' If there is one person that can shut my dad up apart from my mother then it is him, Mr Fernandez, our very own Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth.'

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar burst out laughing and declared, ' and to that information let me add my own observation which is that the only person who can make our Mr Fernandez nervous and scared is none other than our very own Rudran.'

Renuka poured coffee for all of them and after serving both the twins and her dad sat down and looked at them, ' So, what brings the warriors of Perumalvaram here to our home?'

Both Arul and Jothi stared at Renuka and then looked at each other and then both felt him at the same time.

Kandaswamy Mudaliyar and Renuka watched with surprise as both Arul and Jothi hurriedly placed their cups on the table and stood up and waited and then they both fell to their knees with great respect and chanted with bent heads, ' Pakalon, Maasilan, Kathiravan, Meykandan, Koman, Nikaran. We see you our young prince and King and we greet you our Lord Kavin.'

Kandaswamy and Renuka turned and saw little Nikhil standing there and father and daughter looked at each other, wondering how Arul and Jothi had known his arrival even before he had come there.

Little Nikhil smiled, ' They know me and they know us for we are joined in our heads and hearts. They feel our presence always for we and them are one and have been as one in an ancient Bond.'

Nikhil slowly walked towards them, a young lion of a tender three years but his every step and look belied them years for he walked more like a lion than a small cub.

' Rise, my friends and please be seated ' Nikhil told them and then looked at Renuka, ' amma, the answer to your question is that they are here because they have been sent to protect all of us.'

Renuka's heartbeat accelerated instantly, ' why? why now?'

Little Nikhil smiled, ' Amma, I told you. A storm is coming and it is coming for all of us.'

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I am fire and I am water. I am hell and I am heaven and I will bring peace to you.

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Action, Reaction and results-1

“It is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself,than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Good deeds and in my words and in my world they include kind words, an act of charity, helping a friend in need, stopping to show empathy and sympathy to all lives whether on two or four legs and showing patience and tolerance even when the situation screams that you retaliate..( Sorry God, I just can't stand cockraches, mosquitoes and flies. Oh no, now I and you all know what my next reincarnation is going to be.F..k)

Seriously, do you remember that high that you felt, and the time you actually felt wings sprouting on your shoulders and you flapping them and rising ( heaven is it?) when you did something really good and that benefitted some soul and it becamea wonderful experience when the beneficiary of your benevolence is in the dark about the donor.

Why is that? What is going on in our brains and is it just our brains or is there an answer related to something more deeper and eternal is giving than taking?

Doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.

Mother nature is a true blue Machiavelli in nature and has a purpose and means to an end although she works with a lot of time on her hands. It is true for even though Earth our planet has been spinning and suckling on her father cum mother, the Sun for more than 4.5 billion years, man, our species has been here only for a few million years and that too modern man has been around for about 5,000 years or so and when I say Modern it is in reference to inventions and advances in industry.

God help us all and everything and maybe that should include the universe itself if Man had evolved earlier and I mean much earlier than just a few million years ago. Imagine the state of this world, our planet and what it would have been reduced to if our species had evolved a 100 million years ago. Bye, bye all other creatures and Extinction it would have been for logic dictates that.

Any way coming back to good deeds, kind and gentle words, and charity and their rewards and why it is so.

To get others attention and recognition.It feeds your ego, making you understand that you are in a position to help someone else. Eg: Most celebrities doing philanthropy in public as a photo op.

A good deed helps calm your mind of the pressing guilt, making it just a bit lighter.

Sometimes you feel very good by a kind action because, you can feel the weight of your Karma being lifted off your chest.

Doing a good deed creates an aura of positive energy, naturally lifting your spirits up.

But it leaves you feeling happy because, you did the right thing and the world is better for it.

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. ”

This is a very justifiable truth that applies to Physics as well as the real world phenomenon.Likewise, doing good deeds results into a feeling of Goodness, that makes the doer feel poised.

A good deed. A timely deed and a miracle indeed ( Deed).

An everyday miracle

The heavy rains had eased to a persistent drizzle and donning my cotton hat I stepped out of my car with my cotton bag full of biscuits. Sunfeast Marie biscuits had been changed to Marigold as all the dogs had protested and as per their requests and I headed towards the beach and after feeding the first batch of six ruffian canines near the police booth opposite Cozie I walked towards batch near the Gym.

As I was feeding the dogs and crows I saw this young girl in a black and white design Chudidar totally distressed and wondering what was going on, I walked towards her and asked her the reason for her panic-stricken condition.

She looked at me totally lost and managed to whisper ' I lost my mobile ' and seeing the phone in her hand, I asked her about it and she replied ' that is my friend's phone that I am using to call my mobile.'

In her excitement to take some pics of the pigeons that were feeding, she left her phone behind on the platform opposite the Karl Schmidt memorial and by the time she realized her mistake, it was gone.

I tried calming her down and told her it was okay and that she could first contact the cops near the booth but there was no calming the girl and she said ' iphone sir and very expensive.'

Just as we both were trying to stop passersby to know if they had seen anyone picking up a phone, I saw in the distance, few regulars to the beach waving their hands frantically to get our attention.

She was praying and I was praying too and hoping that one of them had some information, I told her that I knew all of them and that they were my friends and together we walked towards them.

There are many batches and groups of regulars on the beach and this batch is mostly made up of retired state govt employees from the TNEB and Metro water department and you guessed right, a bit coarse and vulgar in their style of spoken tamil and the air around them is always filled with heated arguments about current politics and cinema.

But all of them are die-hard Mgr fans and you guessed it and all stood up as me and the girl neared them and one of them showed a phone and said ' sir, I found this phone and I think it belongs to this woman' and handed it to her.

The poor girl burst out crying and stood staring at her mobile phone totally overcome with emotion and relief.

I whispered ' thank them and be on your way and please be more careful in the future.'

one of the men asked her ' amma, evvalavvuma intha phonu?' and she replied ' One and a half lakh' an answer that left me and the others shell shocked and speechless.

She thanked them and then thanked me and I said ' naa enna panne. Onnu ille.' She said ' ille sir, you searched with me and tried to help me and then came with me and got me my phone back.'

After she left, I looked at them ' great job guys and maybe it is true that it still rains because of good and honest souls like you.'

A miracle if you ask me and so many happen every day and all over the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69pPYkGiEAQ

If you write to impress it will always be bad, but if you write to express it will be good.

To grow up in India is to grow up with mythical figures and legends from epics. But there are some stories and heroes who stay with you and also breathe and think for you. Rama, Lakshmana, Hanuman, Karna, most importantly Abhimanyu. From the first moment we know God for who he or she is and read about them through the Ramayana, Mahabharata, Bhagavatham and Bhagawad Gita, we invariably imbibe their qualities and knowingly or unknowingly they become our gurus. Today, I have but a very faint memory of what I learnt in history class but I know pretty well almost all of the events that took place in the Ramayana and Mahabharata.

There are times when I see my reflection in the mirror and also see shades and shadows of Ram, Lakshman, Hanuman but also Raavan staring back at me. I smile and they smile saying heaven and hell are right there in your soul. Rama or Ravana are right there in your choices.

Oh God, these tough choices torment me for they just happen to be the yardsticks with which we judge ourselves and others in our day to day, daily lives. To be Raavan is to listen to your body and be a slave to its hormones and chemicals. But to be Rama is to listen to the whispers of your soul where the ultimate judge our conscience sits watching your every move. Pity, that the whispers of Rama often get drowned by the roars and growls of Raavan, the rakshasa.

Life is a gift and a curse. The life you have led is your testament of what is and what you could have been. A child blows soap water and bubbles of various shapes that float in the air. They rise those colourless and wispy things and catching sunlight, throw out many magical colours that remind you of all the colours in a rainbow. The earth itself is shaped like a bubble, and all our lives are but wispy bubbles inside that bubble.

Another perspective of the story of the Hare who lost the race…but..

Actually, everyone throughout the world has kept giving the example of Tortoise…Saying that slow and steady wins the race and emphasizing the value of persistence and dedication.

Well ! No one has ever bothered to ask the Hare his side of the story…

So let me tell you the story from a different point of view…

I met the Hare and sat down with him for a heart to heart talk.

This is what he had to say after we spent the better part of a balmy summer afternoon getting to know one other.

It was a wonderful experience, believe me..

“Yes, I am the hare who lost.

No, I did not get lazy or complacent.

Let me explain.

I was hopping over the meadows near the hills and looked back to realize that the tortoise was nowhere to be seen.

Assured of my healthy lead, I decided to take a short nap under the large banyan tree near the pond.

The anticipation of the race had kept me up all night.

For days, that old silly tortoise had boasted about his ability to plod for hundreds of miles without stopping.

Life is a marathon, he said, not a sprint.I wanted to show him that I could run both far and fast.

The shade of the tree was like an umbrella.

I found an almost oval rock, covered it with grass, and turned it into a makeshift pillow.

I could hear the leaves rustling and the bees buzzing – it felt they were collaborating and even conspiring to put me to sleep.

And it didn’t take them long to succeed.

I saw myself drifting on a log in a beautiful stream of water.

As I came near the shore, I found an old man, with a flowing beard, sitting on a rock in a meditative pose. He opened his eyes, gave me an all-knowing smile, and asked:

“Who are you?”

“I am a hare. I am running a race.”

“Why?”

“To prove to all the creatures in the jungle that I am the fastest.”

“Why do you want to prove that you are the fastest?”

“So that I get a medal which will give me status which will give me money which will get me food…”

“There is already so much food around.” He pointed to the forest in the distance. “Look at all those trees laden with fruits and nuts, all those leafy branches”

“I also want respect. I want to be remembered as the fastest hare who ever lived.”

“Do you know the name of the fastest deer or the largest elephant or the strongest lion who lived a thousand years before you?”

“No.”

“Today you have been challenged by a tortoise.

Tomorrow, it will be a snake.

Then it will be a zebra.

Will you keep racing all your life to prove that you are the fastest?”

“Hmm. I didn’t think about it.

I don’t want to race all my life.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to sleep under a banyan tree on a makeshift pillow while the leaves rustle and the bees buzz.

I want to hop over the meadows near the hills and swim in the pond.”

“You can do all these things this very moment.

Forget the race.

You are here today but you will be gone tomorrow.”

I woke up from my sleep.

The ducks in the pond looked happy.

I jumped into the pond, startling them for a moment.

They looked at me quizzically.

“Weren’t you supposed to be racing with the tortoise today?”

“It’s pointless.

An exercise in futility.

All I want is to be here.

Hopefully, someday, someone will tell the world my story.

*That I lost the race but got back my life.

*Life is not a race to win but a journey , make it happy , joyous and free*

Vaanathai Pola 271

“Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.”

Renuka and Kandaswamy watched with rapt attention for they had seen such a manner of greeting and were familiar with it. But, that had been for Rudran and this here was for a tender boy of just three who the twins from Perumalvaram were seeing for the very first time.

They could not take their eyes of Arul and Jothi who were on their knees with their heads bowed and and watched them as they slowly raised their heads and gazed upon Nikhil.

She could not see it but felt it first on her skin and saw that her arms were covered with goose-bumps. The surge of power that filled the air, the room and that flowed through their bodies was flowing from her little boy.

'But, he is just a child, my baby Nikhil and yet, he stands like a mighty lion, a mighty emperor before his followers ' Renuka thought to herself and Nikhil turned slowly to his right and looked up at her with the radiance of a glowing sun in his face and eyes and gave her an intoxicating smile and said, ' I will always be your little boy and you will always be my mother Renuka. My Avini.'

The name her child's tender lips had just uttered sounded familiar to Renuka and she knew that she had heard it somewhere and tried to recollect it but failed.

Both father and daughter watched on standing in silence filled with reverence and watched as ancient bonds were forged anew between the twins and Nikhil.

Nikhil gently hugged Arul and kissed the top of his head and did the same with Jothi and stepping back spoke to them.

' I see you my friends, my warriors in blood and I welcome you both to my home, you guardian angels. Welcome, my prince and princess from Perumalvaram and thank you for being here.'

Jothi could not help the tears that stemmed from her eyes and that welled from overpowering joy and she gushed, ' Our ancestors swore on their lives and took and oath to stand by the light and follow it where it leads and takes them. Even into darkness and into certain death. We swear that oath again and pledge our lives to you and your bloodlines.'

Arul spoke, ' Thank you for inviting us into your home, our king and like my sister, I too pledge my life and my all to you and your family.'

The boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Baakiyalakshmi A story but a story for all of us

The current tv serial that I am acting in is called Baakiyalakshmi and it is being telecast in Star Vijay at 8.30 pm from Monday to Saturday. The daily soap started its telecast at 6.30 pm and then moved up to the prime slot of 8.30 pm since it was doing so well.

Primetime slots are the hours between 7.00 pm and 9.30 pm and they are called so for it is at these hours that the Idiot box gets its maximum viewership. Obviously and makes sense for it is just about dinner-time and the children are back from schools and college and the working husband and wives are back home for the day.

I am happy to say that the serial is doing pretty good and is slowly moving up the ratings and is now in the third place behind two other famous hits serial who are both much older than us. But I am sure we will get there.

The story is about Baakiyalakshmi and her family and her life. I play the character of Gopinath, Baakiyalakshmi's husband and we have three kids. Two boys and one girl. The other members include Gopinath's parents and the smartmouth maid.

You will think " this is so cliched" and you are right for those were my thoughts too. But then we are all not the same and we all don't exhibit the same emotions and, importantly, the same reactions.

After nearly 23 years of acting in Television, and a few films and a lot of ad assignments, I like other actors hone in and zoom in my character and how best to portray it. I start with the clothes and look and then add slight mannerisms if needed and try to bring something new to the table although I have to confess at this point that for a very long time, only my appearance was needed.

The story required a certain kind of look and which is best described as follows. Smart looking guy. Upper middle class. Educated look. Decent Physique. This is the same requirement for most of my ad assignments and, add to that my clean-shaven look and somehow this recipe, this concoction has carried me through.

There have been many a time where I have sat drowning in sorrow, lamenting about the hows and whys of the roles that are given to me and the acting that is asked of me.

I hate being stereotyped and so I slowly started sneaking in my own interpretation of the role that I was playing and it worked and it worked big time. Thank God.

A typical tv serial working day is from 9.00 am to 9.00 pm call sheet but which is usually is dragged to 9.30 pm and with both the director and production manager grinning like jack asses and mumbling ' Sorry, sorry, Konjam late ayiduchu.'

And we actors will go, ' you say the same thing every day, 365 days a year.'

Anyway, I reach the location by 7.30 am and the first thing I do is give the continuity costumes to the costumer aka Stylist and some fresh ones if required and then get my makeup done and spend some time with the assistant director or associate director and discuss the scenes that are planned for the day.

Thankfully, years of acting has given me enough experience to hit the nail with every shot and in every scene with accuracy that I rate at being somewhere between 70 to 80 per cent.

100 per cent. well, that is up to you people.

As for me, from my standpoint as an actor, I know from experience that there is no such thing as 100 per cent and that there is always more room and scope for improvement. In the world of Television, Time is money and since time is limited, actors can only do so much in that given time and this is where experience comes into play and also that virtue called focus and discipline.

On the very first day of the shooting for the serial, the producer was present with the writer who explained in general and in broad strokes what the story was and what she had in mind about the characters that made the story.

The target audience for daily soaps in our nation is mostly aimed at the female audience and yet it is not only about the fairer sex and so it involves us, males. Male ends in the word female and as man resides in the word woman.

Life, we all know and have learnt by now is not just black and white but also that tightrope called Gray areas and also a bit of all the colours of the rainbow. Just like in life, tv serials have all the spices in it along with the main ingredients and only then can a good recipe be cooked and that which is approved by everyone.

My character Gopinath is in the banking business and specifically in the loan recovery department and a highly educated MBA guy and since that is his profession and which brings along with its tension, stress and strain and specifically deadlines and targets, I began the journey of Gopinath as a guy whose face makes you think he is either suffering from ulcers or worse a bad case of piles.

My character is a bit of Hitler and Rules Ramanujam mixed in equal proportions and a man who does not speak much. ( Siddu munji).

Yup. Since I have been called that all my life, it was very easy to get into the skin of the character. A person who is always morose, grouchy and moody and one who sometimes explodes like a bomb.

A ticking time bomb. But why?

More, soon and in the next post.

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day and a Happy Christmas.

With elections looming large around the corner, everybody from Kamal, Rajini and others are screaming about MGR aatchi but I wish they could say Jesus rules and we will try to give and spread the message of Jesus.

I believe in Christ.I believe and have immense faith in Jesus but I am not a Christian and neither am I a Hindu.

I believe in God and that will do and that is enough for me.

Who am I? Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist.

No. I am a Goddian and God is our Guardian. That should do for today and I will make my exit and return tomorrow before all of you puke on me. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Lots of love and best wishes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNCF6uRtd5k

Vaanathai Pola 272

Raman had taken a cab from the airport to reach the hospital. Stepping out of the hospital he stood pondering the km distance to his house and looked down at the holdall bag in his right and the mini suitcase that he was holding in his left and decided that a cab or an autorickshaw would suit the situation just fine.

That decided, he walked towards the exit of the hospital and the very next moment saw a car pull up in front of him and blocking his way. The greenish olive colours was a dead giveaway and the man who stepped out of the front passenger side only confirmed what his mind had understood and which was Army vehicle belonging to the Army Intelligence.

The fit-looking officer who looked to be in his 40s greeted him, ' Good morning, Major Raman. I am Major Param Yadav and I am your liaison with whom you will be working with on this case.'

Raman nodded and watched as the driver, an armed commando got out and placed both his pieces of Luggage in the boot and got in behind the wheel without a word.

Raman looked at Major Param, ' I work for Raw and an advocate by profession and I absolutely clue as to what, why or who is behind me being tasked with this case of a missing army officer.'

Major Param nodded, ' Point taken and duly noted, Major Raman.'

Raman glanced at the hospital, ' my wife just delivered our babies yesterday and I flew back into the country yesterday morning and here I am burdened with this case.'

Stepping closer, his face reflecting his frustration and confusion, ' Major Param, I am doing this because I have no choice in this matter and also since the call came directly from the Prime minister's office to my boss, Mr V.K.Singh. So, please forgive me for being a bit grouchy and touchy about this whole charade of me being requested to go find an army officer who has been missing for just a day and a bit more. Tell me, Major Param, don't you have your own branch of the army that exists purely for this kind of scenarios and also when one of your men go AWOL. ( Absent without official leave)

Major Param nodded and replied, ' Yes, Major Raman, but then this case is a different beast and also of a rather sensitive nature which automatically means that we cannot go about it the usual way.'

He turned away casually and yet Raman saw that the major's eyes were totally alert and scanning and recording everything that was around them. weighing them, judging them and dismissing them.

Major Param turned and looked at Raman, ' You are a civilian but a distinguished one at that sir and although I had my doubts as to your use and also lack of expertise in this situation, it was my boss who chose you and also the one who sent the request to the Prime minister's office and it was he who is handling this whole matter even though he is far away on another mission.'

' I am a civilian and I want to remain that but I am not being allowed to be one and keep dragged into all these matters of national security and spy games.'

Sighing wearily, ' I thought it was my boss V.K who had dumped me into this new case and am relieved that he was not the Brutus in the end.'

Smiling a frustrated smile, ' okay, Major Param, let's get on with it and get it done before that old boss of yours flies back and decides to make an appearance and torment us. Do I get to meet him, this boss of yours?'

Major Param shook his head twice, ' no and no are the answers to your questions.'

' What does that even mean, no and no?'

Major Param smiled indulgently and replied, ' Means that my boss, our boss now is not an old man and that you have already met him and have interacted with him.'

Raman's senses went on full alert as his mind placed the pieces and fit them in their rightful places.

Major Param smiled, ' He told me you would catch on quickly and then you would burn like a forest fire and I see he was not wrong at all.'

Raman whispered, ' Chakravyuh?'

Major Param smiled and whispered back, ' yes and our boss is Brigadier General Rudran.'

I started to write and post the story " And the truth shall set you free " nearly six years ago in the forum and it came hot on the heels of " What If " that I had just finished. What If was a ghost story but also a love story and in it, I portrayed love even when dead and love even while dying.

It was a story of the Ghost Aashritha and how she protects Mani and what happens when he falls in love with Shalini.

What If was a story, a bleeding wound that was the memory of my kid brother passing away when I was a kid myself and with that done, I wanted to write about something positive and people who are heroic and who stand up against the injustice that is prevalent in our society.

Thus, was born the character of Dhana AKA Dhanashekar Pandyan who starts a political party and then by a twist of fate and destiny, becomes famous overnight, wins the elections and becomes the Chief Minister.

But the story was less about Politics and more about the friendship between Dhana and Balaji and Priya. But, it also was the story of Arjun the villain and also the story of Gurumurthy the owner of the newspaper " The Indian Reporter" whose son Chandrashekar is killed by a bomb that had been rigged by Arjun.

The reason for Arjun's anger is because of his hatred and rivalry between him and Dhana and also because his sister Lavanya is in love with Dhana. When Dhana rejects Lavanya she decides to hurt him and sleeps with his best friend Balaji. An act that reminds you of that proverb " Cut off your nose to spite your face" and Arjun strangles and kills his own sister when he finds out that she had slept with the enemy and blames both Dhana and Balaji for her death.

In the end, Dhana takes on Arjun and defeats him but is killed by Gurumurthy who avenges his only son's death by shooting Arjun to death.

With two stories filled with a zillion spelling and grammar mistakes, I nevertheless ventured boldly on to the next story that somehow wrote itself and I jest and kid you not.

Some stories have to be told and some tales have to be written down and so came about the story that I tentatively titled " A story with no name " and then the last sentence from the very first chapter of the story chose itself as the new name and so came about " The Boy who went into the dark and came back with light."

The story, in short, is about a retired IIT Professor Sadashivam who stumbles upon some ancient sketches and begins to have visions about it. He sees a young boy with a lion who beckons him to come to the hill of lights and so he sets forth on an adventure that leads him to the Forest and into the tribal village of Perumalvaram.

A huge dog who is called Buddha becomes his companion and protector and along with Palam Swamy, they enter Perumalvaram and find themselves in trouble.

They are rescued by an unknown warrior who reveals himself as Dhana Shekara Pandyan and who is a descendant of Azhagan. Dhana narrates the story of Azhagan and Avini, Malar and Thenmozhi and thus opening a highway for me to write more stories about them and their Alien race called The Ancients.

Then followed the story of Redemption, a tale about two brothers, Rudran and Bhairav, and one who though dead lives on in the other Twins brain and exists as another entity. This was another tale about the Ancients and the magical forest of Perumalvaram and also a love story between Rudran and Renuka and their son Nikhil.

Then came Jannal Oram and the story about Raman and Jeeva and their families and how they confront the villain a powerful political person and triumph in the end after enduring many tragedies.

And now here we are in Vaanathai Pola with Radhu and Kavita. In Jannal Oram Kavita was in love with Raman but which was never reciprocated and so I brought here in this story in which the hero is seeking justice for his father who was attacked and left to die.

I agree and understand that some of the characters cross over from other stories into the current ones and that which may be a bit confusing. But worry not for I will post a complete glossary of the characters from all the stories and which in turn will help jog your memory and remember them clearly.

Down below are listed all the links to all the stories that I have written over the past six to seven years and the last one is the link to the first chapter of our current story Vaanathai Pola.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/3448726?pn=48&pc=98942163

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/3448726?pn=83&pc=107002017

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/3448726?pn=142&pc=118582827&pr=1

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4327334?pn=42&pc=126916879

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4327334?pn=108

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4919631?pn=104