Avan, Aval Adhu 452
' Madhu, I cry because I cannot help it. I am always in control of myself and yet when it comes to you, I lose all that control and composure. I cry because my head and heart feel heavy and numb in pain hearing how much you must have suffered on your own. These tears stem from the guilt and shame that I feel for not being there to help you when you needed me and hold you and tell you it was going to be better.'
Madhu giggled and without even realizing he was giggling too, Ravi did so and then gently admonished her. ' Ma'am, this is not decent or becoming of you, a lady to giggle when a gentleman is pouring out his soul for you.'
' Ravi, I could not but help giggle when I imagined you with me in Mumbai. I was just trying to think what we would have done or could have done in those circumstances. Where would I hide you? As it is, I found it an uphill battle to carry on with you in my head and heart and constantly being torn apart between what was right and what felt was right to me.'
She looked at him with her beautiful brown eyes and gently pecked his cheeks, ' Jaanu ' she whispered into his lips, ' you crazy boy, you mad man. Why? Why did you hold on all these years? Why did you have to wait all this time and that too without a single shred of hope to hold on to?'
' Because you spoilt me silly and nobody else would do ' Ravi said and looked at her and then remembering Gayatri, his eyes clouded over with hurt and confusion and he whispered, ' There was this one time..'
' What happened?'
' Nothing happened ' and clasping her hands in his, ' Madhu, I think we have seen enough and experienced enough of this life without each other. I am single. You are single. So, let us live for each other.'
Madhu closed her eyes but the way her forehead crinkled in worry, Ravi knew what she was feeling and used his fingers to gently smoothen her forehead, ' I said let's live for each other. I did not say that we have to get married and I will go as far as to say that I will wait for you to fix the marriage date.'
She opened her eyes and looked at him with gratitude and said, ' I lied to you when I said that I never got pregnant. I did but then I lost it.'
' Did your husband know about you getting pregnant?'
' No. Luckily, he was very busy in those few months, and in the end, I am glad that he passed on without knowing about it and how I lost his child.'
' Madhu, what happened? How did you lose your baby? Did you fall or were you involved in an accident?'
' No, nothing as simple as that. But, something far worse than that.'
Ravi waited and waited as the tide of old memories ebbed and began to flow. He saw her face wax and wane like the golden glow of the moon and saw how she was fighting the past with the present. Unable to bear the sight of her struggle so much, he told her not to speak.
' No. Vendaam. Let those ghosts of old memories lie in their old graves and where they belong. In the past ' and saying that, he looked at her eagerly, ' We will start a new life, a new chapter together now and that will be our present, gift to both of us. What happened, happened and there is no need to talk about it anymore.'
She said nothing but her silence and her eyes spoke a lot and Ravi knew that they were not done with time and with the waters that had long flowed away under some old broken bridges.
' Jaanu, our present is linked with the past. The reason for that is my stepdaughter and why I lost the child.'
Suddenly, his confusion seemed to clear away and he eagerly asked her, ' Oh! So, you aborted your child for the sake of your stepdaughter and for her well-being?'
' No. I lost the child. I did not abort it but suffered a miscarriage.'
Ravi gasped in shock as he realized that abortion and miscarriage were two different words. Two completely different worlds.
' What happened, Madhu?'
' She accidentally kicked me in my womb.....'
Ravi's face instantly went from light to dark as anger stepped in steeping his form in rage.
' WTF! What kind of demon is she? How could a woman do that to another woman?'
Madhu hurriedly placed her right hand on his mouth, ' No Jaanu, please don't do that. Don't swear and for God's sake, don't think bad of her and or curse her. For I know what a curse or bad wishes can do and how powerful they are when a good person thinks that.'
She looked at him, ' Not you, for you are one of the kindest and purest souls I have known and who I have always equated with my late Dada who in my mind was a saint in human form.'
Ravi scoffed, ' I am no saint, Madhu. ' and muttered under his breath, ' How can a woman do that? How can someone do that to you, to my sweet, gentle, and kind Madhu?'
She nudged his chin and when he looked at her, ' She did not do it deliberately. She was not in her senses and was totally drunk and also high on drugs. She just lashed out at me when I was trying to get her out of her dirty clothes for she had vomited on herself.'
Madhurima told him everything and they both sat next to each other drowning in the silent ghosts of the past.
Ravi introspected softly, ' Mr. Premji was a good man. An honorable man. I wish I could have met him for I would have shook his hand and thanked him.'
She looked at him in wonder, ' thanked him?'
' Yes. For taking care of my Madhu and giving her all the love and protection that she needed and that which I should have given. But, I guess fate willed differently.'
Avan, Aval Adhu 453
One is not idle because one is absorbed. There is both visible and invisible labor. To contemplate is to toil, to think is to do.
Rajendran's contemplation was broken as his senses became aware of his Android Hybrid 25C hovering very close to him. Opening his eyes, he stared at the face of the Android that hovered just above his own and cursed bitterly.
' What is the need for you to be in such close proximity and that too so close to my face?'
The seven-foot green android smiled even though its master's question had been an admonishment and replied politely, ' Master, I find you fascinating when you contemplate for there appears a strange kind of peace on your facial features ' and it quickly arranged its own poly-synthetic face and mimicked Rajendra' expression.'
He stared hard at his own creation that he thought of as his own child and asked it, ' Do you contemplate? Have you ever tried contemplating about yourself and the world around you? Do you stop and think about the work and the nature of the various assignments that I hand out to you?'
' I do master. But, off late, I find myself contemplating a lot about you and me.'
Saying that Hybrid 25C morphed itself and stood as a replica of Meenakshi and in a very soft, wispy voice enquired, ' Master, do you find me attractive?'
' No. I do not ' Rajendra stated emphatically and after staring at it with curiosity, ' Why did you change yourself to appear as our guest Meenakshi?'
Hybrid 25C replied without any hesitation, ' Because, I felt a connection between both of you ' and pausing for a moment to think, said, ' She is or at least was a very desirable creature.'
Tapping its head, ' She is made well. Even though she is an old model, she still retains that much-coveted hourglass figure. 36-24-26.'
Rajendra's smile was slight and full of appreciation and he looked at Hybrid 25C, ' You are correct. But that was a long time ago. Not anymore.'
The android's face expressed its shock perfectly and it as was its nature, asked without any hesitation, ' Why not now? What changed from then to now? Did she spurn you and break your heart?'
Rajendra nodded, ' Yes and no. But times have changed and with them, our priorities have changed too.'
Android Hybrid 25C slowly bent its seven-foot form and before Rajendra could do or say anything, kissed his lips and standing straight said in a vague tone, ' Master, Times and priorities may change but my love for you and what I feel for you will never change. Even if you change.'
Rajendra smiled and closed his eyes, ' Child, what have you been reading today?'
' Shakespeare, master. Romeo and Juliet.'
Steepling his fingers, and with his eyes closed, Rajendra smiled, ' That explains your erratic behavior, child. Now, purge all that romantic Sh.t out of your system and tell me the reason why you disturbed me.'
Hybrid 25C hesitated and Rajendra growled, ' Now. I will not repeat myself. You know how much I hate doing that.'
Hybrid 25C changed back to green and went back to do what it was meant to do. Specifically, what its master had created it to do.
' Master, the subject Mrs. Prem whose real name is Madhurima has a daughter.'
Rajendra grunted, ' Okay. What's the big deal and why do you sound excited about this woman having a daughter?'
' It's not daughter but stepdaughter and her name is Gayatri.'
' Boring. Is that all, Hybrid? If that is all you have, go away and leave me to contemplate on what needs to be done.'
' No, master. I did not stop with the cursory data gathering and went deep into their movements and have discovered that Mother and stepdaughter have something common between each other.'
Rajendra's eyes opened wide and he looked at his pet creation, ' What do they have in common?'
' Ravi Kumar and Kumarapalayam.'
Avan, Aval Adhu 454
' Ravi ' she said his name and he looked at her. Ravi heard her calling to him but also heard all the questions that she was not asking and pointed to the door that connected them and their room with the rest of the world.
' I have no questions or doubts. Do you? ' he asked her and when she shook his head to say no, he nodded, ' Good. So we both have no questions about ourselves, what we feel about each other, and what we want to do together in the future?'
Her eyes widened visibly, stoked by the fires of panic and confusion, and seeing them, he placed a tender, protective kiss on her lips and forehead, ' It does not matter what others think, feel, or want us to do. It has not mattered to me till now.'
Seeing her frown, he said, ' I am saying that in the nicest way possible. Of course, it matters what those who I care about think and feel. It's just that I draw a line when it comes to what I can or can't do and more importantly what others want from me.'
Gripping her hands firmly but lovingly, ' Madhu, everybody thinks they know better than the next person. Everybody secretly prides themselves on having perfected the art of living and that they know what is best for themselves and others. Advice is all good, but like theory, it stops working when we go into the lab of life and start living it in a practical manner.'
Madhurima smiled and nodded and said ' Jaanu, you know very well what I want. I totally agree with you. I know I shouldn't worry about what others will think or say but when I think about your mother, and how disappointed she is going to be, it breaks my heart.'
He could not help but wonder about her way of thinking and she could not help notice the way his eyes twinkled and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, threatened him, ' Jaanu, I know you just thought something nasty about me. What was it? What did you think and you dare smile?'
' Hold on. Calm down, please ' Ravi implored and with a naughty smile told her what had crossed his mind.
' The word procrastination crossed my mind and I just wondered if your kind is born with this gene. This procrastinating thing that you fair maidens do.'
She tried her best to look angry and intimidating but failing miserably, looked at him with a pathetic expression and confessed, ' I am usually not like this. But then neither is the situation that we are in right now. What do you want me to do here other than procrastinate?'
Ravi stood up and offered both his hands and Madhu taking them, stood up and asked, ' I know that look, Jaanu. You have decided to do something. What is it?'
He smiled and said, ' You will see ' and still smiling, he turned and looked at his cupboard and realized the significance of what had taken place all those years ago.
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