Stop abusing kid adhya - Page 8

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Shruti, who is using and manipulating an underage, allegedly traumatised child, to make her mid-life, one-sided love /sex life with a middle-aged cheater work, is somehow the best, most selfless thing that happened to the said child?

Bhai, do adults in this fandom just dump their very adult relationship woes on their children and think it's okay or good parenting? How do people in this fd just have such a massive blindspot regarding a literal child being preoccupied with her budhao father's love life instead of, I dunno, focusing on her studies, hobbies, friendships, crushes?

And someone said that some viewers lack empathy for Adhya's trauma. Well, believe it or not, trauma doesn't justify endangering someone else's life. If some serious harm had come to Pari, Adhya would have been tried under juvenile justice laws. No judge in the world would equate having trAumA from parent's divorce to another child's life. Because, y'know, Pari's life is ethically as important as Adhya's. Divorce is not a gen z fad. There are thousands of people who go through parental separation, alienation and even worse trauma without harbouring such utter apathy and cruelty towards others. Trauma is resolved by therapy not by giving someone a free pass to harm others.

Heck, if someone else's traumatised child purposefully locked someone's child to punish them— thereby risking their life, no parent would think twice before reporting them.

Adhya is failed by every single adult around her lol.

And your point is?

Originally posted by: Paru...

I haven't seen a single episode in which Anupama consulting psychiatrists or taking medicines in any of the episodes. She seemed depressed post her divorce with Anuj and after knowing about V's betrayal.But got got recovered quite fast like normal people do. But both Maya and Adhya are portrayed as psycho chars in the show..Pakhi needed just counselling when she came to know about her parents divorce. Also T was shown in a hyper state when Kinjal refused to accept him,T his was only for a brief period. But Maya and are Adhya are shown as mentally ill people who hasn't recovered from the disease till the end.

I love char Anupama. Otherwise i wouldn't have watch this show .For me this is the best female lead on ITV,

Sorry, this is extremely prejudiced and gross. Upma not taking meds isn't some sort of achievement, and Adhya allegedly having psychotic tendencies isn't a condemnation. Even if Adhya has those issues, she deserves treatment instead of being manipulated by adults around her.

Upma perpetuated the cycle of abuse and is a literal enabler and abuser to Dimpy and Kinjal.

Adhya lacks empathy and consideration for others which can be corrected through treatment and corrective parenting. Adults around Adhya are responsible for her moral values and healthcare. Upma is responsible for her own actions.

Adhya is a kid; Upma is an adult

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

And your point is?

My point is Adhya needs discipline and healthcare instead of her shitty parents excusing and enabling her terrible lack of boundaries and horridly entitled behaviour that can lead her into serious trouble.

Shruti encouraging her preoccupation with her dad's romantic life is hugely creepy and innappropriate. Anuj drawing absolutely no boundaries with her again is terrible. Life is not rainbows and sunflowers and parents should help kids deal with that.

Upma was allegedly a horrid, evil mother to her therefore she removed herself from her life. Instead of trying to be in her life and brush her seriously apathetic behaviour under the rug with pathetic threats of hitting her, she should discuss Adhya's mental healthcare with Anuj as a ex-parter, and co-parent.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

My point is Adhya needs discipline and healthcare instead of her shitty parents excusing and enabling her terrible lack of boundaries and horridly entitled behaviour that can lead her into serious trouble.

Agree with healthcare and a stable environment where everything else will fall in place.

This coupled with the basic decency on the part of parents to NOT recount favours done on children, which we have not seen them do to even adults.

About lack of boundaries and more importantly entitled behaviour. Can you please share some examples?

Shruti encouraging her preoccupation with her dad's romantic life is hugely creepy and innappropriate. Anuj drawing absolutely no boundaries with her again is terrible. Life is not rainbows and sunflowers and parents should help kids deal with that.

Apart from ONCE asking her to go to India and keep an eye on her father, (which, we have seen in this very show, infact even openly scheming, being an acceptable behaviour by another teenager not so long ago) what other instances have we seen of Shruti "encouraging pre-occupation with her dad's life?

Upma was allegedly a horrid, evil mother to her therefore she removed herself from her life. Instead of trying to be in her life and brush her seriously apathetic behaviour under the rug with pathetic threats of hitting her, she should discuss Adhya's mental healthcare with Anuj as a ex-parter, and co-parent.

First of ALL, there HAS TO BE acceptance of the mistakes that the parents have committed. It is NOT an allegation, it is a fact. Nothing can change it. The apathetic behaviour is a consequence of the horrible past and continues due to a. Not accepting the mistakes and b. Not taking corrective actions.

For the parents to be able to treat the child, they, themselves have to be mentally stable which they clearly are not, instead, they are self-absolved.

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Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

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Shruti discusses her relationship woes with a child, and has used a minor child as her proxy.

Adhya has left her school to go to her father's ex's workplace to berate her, has manipulated her dad into an unwanted engagement, manoeuvered to stop him from talking to Upma (for whatever reason), locking a child in an unventilated room to test whether Upma would save her (and hoping that she wouldn't). These are all major red flags and show a severe lack of empathy, propriety, and boundaries in the Kapadia-Shruti household.

Just because Pakhi was bad as a minor doesn't make Adhya's inappropriate behaviour acceptable.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Shruti discusses her relationship woes with a child, and has used a minor child as her proxy.

Adhya has left her school to go to her father's ex's workplace to berate her, has manipulated her dad into an unwanted engagement, manoeuvered to stop him from talking to Upma (for whatever reason), locking a child in an unventilated room to test whether Upma would save her (and hoping that she wouldn't). These are all major red flags and show a severe lack of empathy, propriety, and boundaries in the Kapadia-Shruti household.

Just because Pakhi was bad as a minor doesn't make Adhya's inappropriate behaviour acceptable.

the point always will be, who started FIRST. Anupama neglected Adhya FRIST. She abandoned Adhya FIRST. These are all major red flags from a so called mother

You cannot then attack the victim who developed these things because of the trauma from the woman

Similarly in Shruti's case. Anuj and Anupama started emotionally cheating FIRST, Shruti is the victim who is trying to save her engagement from two cheaters.

its always hilarious when Anupama bhakts ignore all the cause and then start blaming the victim of the woman. Its like you keep slapping someone and then when then person slaps back once, you blame th second person for being violent, the mental gymnastics are funny.

And before the point is bporught up that all you are asking is for Adhya's help, I never see posts asking help for the two unfit parents. Why is only the other characters attacked and never the main leads? First it was Maya, then Malti devi, then Adhya and now Shruti too

Why are people never concerned with the main lead who gives the name to the show? Her mental instability, her pathetic actions, her abnormal behavior? Why are only secondary characters, most of who come and go for a few episodes always attacked? Particularly because ALL of them only got worse because of Anupama's actions, Maya was allowed to stay and be in touch with Adhya by Anupama, Malti Devi was forced on Anuj by anupama, Adhya was abandoned by anupama, Shruti's engagement was endangered by Anupama coming back

Just addressing one characters will cure most and also ensure these things never happen to anyone again

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

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Its always funny to me when secondary characters are discussed so much in length and attacked. How much screen space did Maya. Malti Devi or Shruti even have? How many episodes out of the 100s did they even appear in? Yet there is so much thesis on their behavior. Meanwhile the main lead was the cause of every single problem, she forced Maya on anuj and let her stay and interact with Adhya. Anupama forced Malti Devi on Anuj and let her stay at his house when he wanted nothing to do with her. She neglected Adhya many times and then abandoned her

So many paragraphs on what help these secondary characters need but NEVER, NEVER EVER any comment on the main character who is the cause of everything. If Anupama is cured or just goes away nothing will happen to anyone else. And we saw the proof in her 5 years of exile when every single person was happy without her in their lives.

Originally posted by: Harish111

the point always will be, who started FIRST. Anupama neglected Adhya FRIST. She abandoned Adhya FIRST. These are all major red flags from a so called mother

You cannot then attack the victim who developed these things because of the trauma from the woman

Similarly in Shruti's case. Anuj and Anupama started emotionally cheating FIRST, Shruti is the victim who is trying to save her engagement from two cheaters.

its always hilarious when Anupama bhakts ignore all the cause and then start blaming the victim of the woman. Its like you keep slapping someone and then when then person slaps back once, you blame th second person for being violent, the mental gymnastics are funny.

And before the point is bporught up that all you are asking is for Adhya's help, I never see posts asking help for the two unfit parents. Why is only the other characters attacked and never the main leads? First it was Maya, then Malti devi, then Adhya and now Shruti too

Why are people never concerned with the main lead who gives the name to the show? Her mental instability, her pathetic actions, her abnormal behavior? Why are only secondary characters, most of who come and go for a few episodes always attacked? Particularly because ALL of them only got worse because of Anupama's actions, Maya was allowed to stay and be in touch with Adhya by Anupama, Malti Devi was forced on Anuj by anupama, Adhya was abandoned by anupama, Shruti's engagement was endangered by Anupama coming back

Just addressing one characters will cure most and also ensure these things never happen to anyone again

Anupamaa yada yada yada. I did crticise Upmaa for being a bad mother. That doesn't give Adhya a lifelong free pass to creepily obsess over her parents' romantic life, and endanger other people's lives. Pari has done absolutely nothing to her and could have died of suffocation because of her cruelty. "I have a bad mother" is not a defence when you are being cruel to people.

Believe it or not, many kids do have to deal with bad parents and still do manage to not deliberately, cruelly endanger someone else's life, and obsess over who their parents date.

Life doesn't always work our way. People cheat, parents divorce, friends break apart, we fail at work. The parent who stayed and probably wins m"ost healthiest, bestest father" every single year hasn't helped his minor daughter process his divorce.

And can this fd stop villainising divorces as "selFisH pArENtiNG." People cannot be forced into or stay in bad romantic relationships to please kids.

Does Adhya understand that marriage (be it with Shruti or Upmaa) involves sex, family planning, legal and financial obligations? No. Because she is an effing kid who probably hasn't even had birds-and-bees talk yet. Should, then, an innocent naïve kid be used/allowed to interfere in three adults' conjugal lives because TRaUmA?

Will she be the one to address any conjugal issue between Anuj and Shruti (regarding family planning or sex or money) if they marry just to please her? NO. Because she is an effing kid who doesn't understand credit score, intimate compatibility, healthcare costs — all the things that adults do.

Because, again, she is an effing teen and it would be highly inappropriate for her to know these things. Irrespective of how bad Upmaa is.

People can keep on blaming upmaa for global warming, deforestation, world huger to excuse the lack of discpline, empathy, mental healthcare and basic human decency in an inappropriate child's upbringing Irl, Adhya would grow up to be an entitled, creepy, disrespectful, and manipulative adult who can endanger other people's life due to jealousy because those actions of hers in childhood got excused and justified.

And, it has nothing to do with being nice to Upmaa; she can hate Upmaa till she dies. But Adhya doesn't respect people's boundaries and gets taught nothing lel.

+ I called Upmaa an abuser and enabler just two posts earlier but good to know the mental gymnastics to call someone an Anupamaa bhakt

Adults in this FD not understanding nuance or irony would always be hilarious.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Shruti discusses her relationship woes with a child, and has used a minor child as her proxy.

Again, when was this shown? Please share instances.

From what has been shown, she has corrected and made Adhya realise of her rudeness and as a consequence, Adhya has complied and apologised. Infact, she has encouraged Adhya to resolve issues with her adoptive mother and not turn bitter. Among others, an example: Episode 1233.

Adhya has left her school to go to her father's ex's workplace to berate her, has manipulated her dad into an unwanted engagement, manoeuvered to stop him from talking to Upma (for whatever reason), locking a child in an unventilated room to test whether Upma would save her (and hoping that she wouldn't). These are all major red flags and show a severe lack of empathy, propriety, and boundaries in the Kapadia-Shruti household.

Any number of sophisticated words to cast the blame on the child cannot change the fact that Adhya, a child, requested her father, an adult for a family that they rebuilt brick by brick with the help of Shruti. What stopped the father, an adult from talking to the child and making her understand otherwise?

These are ALL signs of unaddressed trauma and distress and fear of losing what they have rebuilt.

Her actions are, if anything, a defense mechanism.

About leaving school to confront Anupama. Adhya has seen her family being ruined by Anupama's leaving. There was a sequence of her speaking of how both father and daughter were in utter despair after Anupama left and held on to each other. So she has seen herself and her father suffer till the time Shruti came into their life. She was the one who brought in stability and hope to their life and Adhya found a mother in Shruti. With Anuj agreeing to get engaged to Anupama, she is hopeful of a stable, happy family and when she accidentally sees the source of her trauma, she feels compelled to hold on to the rememnants of her family tighter and feels compelled to protect it from anyone she feels will destroy it or is a threat to it. Her confrontations, anger, fear are ALL directed towards specific individuals because they have never been addressed or cared to explain and she has, time and again seen it recurring.

About harming others, agree, harming oneself or others is unacceptable whether in words or deed by children or adults.

Finally about boundaries, do we really to discuss about boundaries where we have adults, parents, like Anuj, Anupama?

Just because Pakhi was bad as a minor doesn't make Adhya's inappropriate behaviour acceptable.

Nope, re-phrasing won't help.

I specifically mentioned Acceptable behaviour in the context of Pakhi "keeping and eye on Vanraj and Kavya and scheming to bring her father back so that her parents stay married" which is NO different.

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