Stop abusing kid adhya - Page 13

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Honestly no 50 plus or 40 plus man acts like anuj in real world even in love

Only 25 year olds may behave like him with lovers

By 40 you understand reality of life and reality of human relationships

You understand only love cannot run a marriage or family successfully

Any other man would understand that anupama will never love or care for him and just let her go to shahs and her kids and grand kids

No man or woman is so stupid like anuj to pin for same person that they loved at 18 although she has another family and has other priority than him in life

Even kids you see if they see their mom dad do not truly love them will throw tantrums till 18 than let go do not keep waiting for parent love all life

I had a friend her mom never loved her as she was forced by her parents to marry her hubby, so kid that too girl born out of hated marraige mom neglected badly(just like anupama did to adhya). Girl would cry and fight till 18 to get mom love, later she just left her mom and left home and worked and enjoyed life. She never went back to mother house again rarely some wedding etc but no crying, fighting etc. Her mom never mattered to her after 18 years. She made peace with fact mom never loved or cared for her.

Same way another man was crazily in love with a girl even tried to kill himself when his love married another man(GF) on parents advice. Another few years he wanted her than got married to woman his parents told now in USA enjoying life with wife and 2 kids.

I know many cases like anujs in real life or adhyas too parental neglect

All humans after waiting for few years or decades let go off the person who does not love them whether its their parents, wife, lover or kids

If anuj had married Shruti he would have may be forgotten anupam astarted loving Shruti seeing her self less nature

But anuj is a bad human cannot see goodness in anyone other than anupam. For him all are bad Malvika, Malati devi, Shruti, adhya all woman or family is bad only anupama is saint shahs are Gods

This is called blind love where only your lover is great and right all others are wrong while in reality your family are much better humans than anupama or any shahs

Anuj doesn’t look 50 so maybe the serial makers think they can get away with it :)

Yes, practical people do move on after a failure in love but there are Majnus like Anuj. I know of an older person (my friend’s mom) who was liked by her brother’s best friend. This was decades ago and this older lady didn’t have any feelings for her brother’s friend. She got married to a person of her parent’s choice and lived happily, but the brother’s friend never married anyone pining for a love that never was two sided.

Yes, kids move on too. In any relationship, if there is no reciprocation, it is useless to keep pursuing even if you retain some sort of affection towards the person. But this is a show so everything is exaggerated to the nth degree to keep us entertained and keeps us discussing the aberrations in behavior of most of these unnatural characters.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

They are all flawed characters - Anuj, Anupama, Shrew, Aadhya. If they were reasonable and behaved normally, we would have no story and no serial.

But I do agree with you on the point that instead of making Adhya understand why her mother saved Pari first, Anuj has only fueled the fire of hatred in his daughter by talking about the past and asking her in a way to let bygones be bygones. No one has addressed the elephant in the room, except for Devika at this late a stage with Adhya.

Understood that Adhya was upset her mother saved Pari, instead of explaining to the kid, Anupama ups and leaves, Anuj uproots the kid and takes her to Amerika, doesn’t try to explain and lets the hate fester in the child. Fast forward to Shrew, the kid now an teen inappropriately forces her dad to marry her friend/mother figure. The dad instead of setting his daughter straight plays along with her wishes, plays with Shrew’s emotions and gets engaged to her.

All said and done, while Aadhya may have every reason to hold a grudge against her mother and hate her, she has no business being impudent even to her mother who to all intents and purposes now is a stranger, Anupama Joshi, to her. To extract a promise from a stranger and to walk off saying she will have her dad invite Anupama to Shrew’s and her dad’s wedding smacks of insolence.

As for Ba and Bapuji going with Anupama or not to Amerika, that is none of Adhya’s business. If she is a child (like most vouch she is), then she should let the adults handle such business.

Sorry as a kid i had right to decide or inform even if some relative can come and stay or not at my parents home

And so do all kids if they are loved by parents

I do not want any relative who misbehaved with me or abused me to come and stay at my home as kid too

When adults can avoid relatives who are abusive over bearing to stay at their home cannot a kid have right to say that

Who says only adults or parents have right to decide everything at home or kids life

If adhya hates hasmukh and leela anuj and anupam acannot keep them at anuj/adhya home simple

also regarding kid right to decide who is her mother? If my father wants to marry an evl woman who will cheat him always be with ex hubby again even as 5 year old i can interfere and say do not marry. Every child has right to say if it wants a woman as her mom or not in such cases? Also this woman will abuse kid adhya force shahs on her abuse her so why adhya has no right to say if she wants mother back?

Are rules only for adults so that they abuse kids at home using their rights?

As a kid i want my rights to decide who comes to my home? And if my mom is abusive to nnot keep any relation with her? No one not even US court of judge or indian courts has rights to tell me not to interfere in my parents life or at my parents home as its my life involved too. Its i who will suffer abuse for remaining life with mother like anupama.

Saying all laws are decided by aduts/parents lot of abuse happens with kids in family and school. Even kids have rights to stay in safe homes and way from abusive family members

I do not think adhya or anuj were angry on anupama for not saving her first. They were angry that she prioritize shahs over anuj and adhya and kapadiya home. She still does same and will prioritize vanraj shah, hasmukh, leela, pakhi, toshu and dimpy and their kids over anuj or adhya

Saving pari s not the issue that adhya or anuj truly raised, its anupama bias to wards shahs always over kapadiyas

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Anuj doesn’t look 50 so maybe the serial makers think they can get away with it :)

Yes, practical people do move on after a failure in love but there are Majnus like Anuj. I know of an older person (my friend’s mom) who was liked by her brother’s best friend. This was decades ago and this older lady didn’t have any feelings for her brother’s friend. She got married to a person of her parent’s choice and lived happily, but the brother’s friend never married anyone pining for a love that never was two sided.

Yes, kids move on too. In any relationship, if there is no reciprocation, it is useless to keep pursuing even if you retain some sort of affection towards the person. But this is a show so everything is exaggerated to the nth degree to keep us entertained and keeps us discussing the aberrations in behavior of most of these unnatural characters.

THere the person is alone

may be he did not have kid sister like alvika to take care of or an adhya

if anuj had no family no sister or kid let him pin for anupama all life who cares

let him destroy his life and get abused by anupama and shahs who cares

here hes destroying others life for anupama and shahs sake

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

11 pages on, Wow.

Now that ALL other narratives are either debunked, the discussion is focused on adoption and gratitude thereon. Wonder where the gratitude went for Anuj, who by the way, was himself, adopted. Or Anupama who lives because someone sacrificed her life to save her.

The child never asked these two unstable obsessed humans to adopt her, did she? One wanted a Trophy child to keep the Mahaan Maa Tag high without putting any effort towards the girl and another wanted a child of his own to call a family.

Together, they destroyed a happy, content child who was left out in the orphanage by fate, by a mother who protected her from a horrible life.

If the adopted kids have to feel gratitude towards foster parents n sacrifice everything then I don’t think parents really accepted that child. If parents keeps counting favours then they should not adopt a kid.

In Anuj adoption too he didn’t need to feel gratitude but as a big brother(real or adopted) to Malvika after their parents death it was his responsibility. He failed to ensure Malvika’s well being but kept saying I love her, she is like a child to me etc.He just left her to face the world.

In CA case he should have not adopt her because his wife was not ready from heart. After leap they blamed the separation on Adhya but it was because of some hurtful truth said by him to his wife. He didn’t sacrifice anything for Adhya but his wife didn’t wanted him n Adhya.

He counted the favours. He didn’t talked to Adhya about bringing Anupama in their life. He failed as a parent for me there.He just wanted Adhya to accept n sacrifice just because she is adopted.

I don’t know why some people are hell bent on proving that separation was because Anupama saved pari first.Separation was because of Anupama’s misplaced priorities thought out their marriage. It was not only Pari but every Shah family members.Anuj told her everything many time in calming manners which was neglected by Anupama.

First time Anuj told her in front of everyone n she left. After that what was Anuj supposed to say to Adhya that your mother loves us most so she left.

He uprooted Adhya from her home because they were not able to cope up. Adhya was having panic attacks because her mother left them. They were suffering. Adhya was taking medical help for it.Just because after 5 years she wa happy in her bubble that doesn’t mean they were happy n enjoying in 5 years.

You are saying that Anupama asking Baa n Bapuji to come with her is none of Adhya’s business but it is. It is again unnecessary relations which Anupama wants. Vanraj is their son who will take care of them.

Originally posted by: Snowdrrop

I don’t know why some people are hell bent on proving that separation was because Anupama saved pari first.Separation was because of Anupama’s misplaced priorities thought out their marriage. It was not only Pari but every Shah family members.Anuj told her everything many time in calming manners which was neglected by Anupama.

First time Anuj told her in front of everyone n she left. After that what was Anuj supposed to say to Adhya that your mother loves us most so she left.

He uprooted Adhya from her home because they were not able to cope up. Adhya was having panic attacks because her mother left them. They were suffering. Adhya was taking medical help for it.Just because after 5 years she wa happy in her bubble that doesn’t mean they were happy n enjoying in 5 years.

You are saying that Anupama asking Baa n Bapuji to come with her is none of Adhya’s business but it is. It is again unnecessary relations which Anupama wants. Vanraj is their son who will take care of them.

The separation came as a result of the accident, again it was the accident that made Adhya believe that her mom didn’t care for her which led to Anuj questioning Anupama. I am not saying it was right of Anupama to leave, she is a dud, has a martyr complex.

What happened in the 5 years is all hearsay, we, the viewers are asked to fill in the gaps. Having panic attacks is not reason to uproot and leave. Anuj left India for his own reasons, with no Anupama, he had no purpose to stay back and returned to where he had come from … I don’t believe it had anything to do with Adhya or her panic attacks. Panic attacks can be treated in India as well. Shrew has been living with them for how long? 5 years? So obviously Adhya had reconciled to not having Anupama around and Shrew had taken on the role of mother/friend.

If Anupama wants to bring Ba and Bapuji, Anuj can tell her not to, and this is all hypothetical, Vanraj would not have allowed it, Ba and Bapuji would not have gone with her. And if Adhya did not want Ba coming, she is old enough to tell her parents the reason and they can then as reasonable and loving parents do what is necessary to protect their daughter. Again all that is hypothetical as Adhya’s main issue is with her mother returning to her dad, nothing more, nothing less.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

As a mother, I find Adhya’s behavior difficult to tolerate too. Shrew did not unfortunately leave the serial gracefully, in my opinion. There was a last minute about face to make her look good again. The creatives could have kept her good and reasonable all through but whatever, she had a lapse out of jealousy and recovered.

Didn’t know Adhya was going to be left with Kavya as caretaker. What is with Anuj playing the bansuri while Vanraj has become a tycoon? Is Vanraj caretaker of Adhya’s millions inherited from Anuj? Crazy show, no rhyme or reason.

Not sure. There are many spoilers about the character of Aadhya by not-so-reliable sources on the web. Some say she will be with Kavya, some say she may be shown dead leading to Anuj losing both Anupama & his daughter and become mentally unstable, or Aadhya has gone somewhere..Aura might leave the show and may or may not be replaced by an older actress..for now, nothing is known for sure about Aadya's character.

Originally posted by: Snowdrrop

If the adopted kids have to feel gratitude towards foster parents n sacrifice everything then I don’t think parents really accepted that child. If parents keeps counting favours then they should not adopt a kid.

In Anuj adoption too he didn’t need to feel gratitude but as a big brother(real or adopted) to Malvika after their parents death it was his responsibility. He failed to ensure Malvika’s well being but kept saying I love her, she is like a child to me etc.He just left her to face the world.

In CA case he should have not adopt her because his wife was not ready from heart. After leap they blamed the separation on Adhya but it was because of some hurtful truth said by him to his wife. He didn’t sacrifice anything for Adhya but his wife didn’t wanted him n Adhya.

He counted the favours. He didn’t talked to Adhya about bringing Anupama in their life. He failed as a parent for me there.He just wanted Adhya to accept n sacrifice just because she is adopted.

Have said this before and I say it again, until such time that children are adult and independent, their EVERY ACTION, GOOD or BAD is their guardian's. This is universal.

Recounting any favours, one can understand this being done to adults who are independent and MUST take responsibility of their own actions. Here we see, Parents like Anuj-Anupama recounting things done for their own child as favours, it reflects on the adults and not the child who they brought into their life, consciously.

There is a repeated narrative to prove Adhya's resentment towards Anupama is a consequence of one incident. But the fact is, it is NOT. There have been atleast 5 instances evidently shown where Adhya has expressed her fear of abandonment. Two such occasions where Adhya has, in front of the whole Kapadia clan taken a promise from her mother and father to not abandon her or leave her or send her back to the orphanage and once, I believe in the presence of Shahs as well. Infact, even on the trip, Adhya is seen desperately seeking attention from her mother in the various activities which she did not get in lieu of quality time and adult chats with Kinjal.

About her aggressive behaviour.

Again this is courtesy where she grew up and what she was subjected to.

There is a reason why adults don't fight infront of kids or do ANY ACTIONS that may negatively influence a child. And then we had Shahs and Kapadias. Jaha drame khatm hi nahin hote.

She was literally abused by Leela and Hansmukh was a mookhdarshak. What makes anyone think that one should be courteous or not feel threatened by such individuals and not avoid them.

Hansmukh himself was scared of and avoided Leela off her loud mouth, her own adoptive parents stayed mum infront of the abuses, what defense does a child have? To top it ALL, she is forced to interact with them, be civil with them repeatedly.

Even if normal adults are asked the same question twice or forced to meet people they don't like, they exhibit their resentment and quite aggressively, some examples right here and on various other social media posts, but somehow, there is a need to villainise a child and expected to behave a certain way, who is forced to interact with her abusers. The child does Not behave the same with everyone, only the people who caused her trouble. She even pleaded to not be asked to interact with them only to fall on deaf ears.

When one comes face to face with the source of their trauma, fear, the first reaction to instinctively protect by means of avoiding the person/situation, when one is forced against it, there are two universal reactions: either self harm and in persistent cases harming others. She has shown both, but the besht parents do not seem to understand this basic thing. Infact, earlier Barkha tried to explain and later Shruti on multiple occasions but the lovebirds couldn't think beyond each other.

Finally about boundaries.

Anupama and Anuj are the last persons to comment on boundaries when they respected none, EVER.

Wonder why this "controlling", "manipulation" of parents' lives was NEVER brought up in the context of Pakhi, even Paritosh, when they were doing everything to keep Anupama-Vanraj married

Suppose a couple Divorce and have a child and one of the parents decides to re-marry, will the parent not want a cordial relation, acceptance by the child especially if they intend to live together as a family? If the child disagrees, does the parent say, "Do hell with what you think, your consent cannot control lives"? Or "Pack your bags and off you go to the hostel"?

Suppose the step-parent is abusive and the child shows dissent towards them, should the parent dismiss it as manipulation and controlling?.

Now coming to does a child have a say in who her parents wish to spend their lives with? The simple answer is YES. This is the reason the child's consent is VERY MUCH PART of the Custody process.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Have said this before and I say it again, until such time that children are adult and independent, their EVERY ACTION, GOOD or BAD is their guardian's. This is universal.

Recounting any favours, one can understand this being done to adults who are independent and MUST take responsibility of their own actions. Here we see, Parents like Anuj-Anupama recounting things done for their own child as favours, it reflects on the adults and not the child who they brought into their life, consciously.

There is a repeated narrative to prove Adhya's resentment towards Anupama is a consequence of one incident. But the fact is, it is NOT. There have been atleast 5 instances evidently shown where Adhya has expressed her fear of abandonment. Two such occasions where Adhya has, in front of the whole Kapadia clan taken a promise from her mother and father to not abandon her or leave her or send her back to the orphanage and once, I believe in the presence of Shahs as well. Infact, even on the trip, Adhya is seen desperately seeking attention from her mother in the various activities which she did not get in lieu of quality time and adult chats with Kinjal.

About her aggressive behaviour.

Again this is courtesy where she grew up and what she was subjected to.

There is a reason why adults don't fight infront of kids or do ANY ACTIONS that may negatively influence a child. And then we had Shahs and Kapadias. Jaha drame khatm hi nahin hote.

She was literally abused by Leela and Hansmukh was a mookhdarshak. What makes anyone think that one should be courteous or not feel threatened by such individuals and not avoid them.

Hansmukh himself was scared of and avoided Leela off her loud mouth, her own adoptive parents stayed mum infront of the abuses, what defense does a child have? To top it ALL, she is forced to interact with them, be civil with them repeatedly.

Even if normal adults are asked the same question twice or forced to meet people they don't like, they exhibit their resentment and quite aggressively, some examples right here and on various other social media posts, but somehow, there is a need to villainise a child and expected to behave a certain way, who is forced to interact with her abusers. The child does Not behave the same with everyone, only the people who caused her trouble. She even pleaded to not be asked to interact with them only to fall on deaf ears.

When one comes face to face with the source of their trauma, fear, the first reaction to instinctively protect by means of avoiding the person/situation, when one is forced against it, there are two universal reactions: either self harm and in persistent cases harming others. She has shown both, but the besht parents do not seem to understand this basic thing. Infact, earlier Barkha tried to explain and later Shruti on multiple occasions but the lovebirds couldn't think beyond each other.

Finally about boundaries.

Anupama and Anuj are the last persons to comment on boundaries when they respected none, EVER.

Wonder why this "controlling", "manipulation" of parents' lives was NEVER brought up in the context of Pakhi, even Paritosh, when they were doing everything to keep Anupama-Vanraj married

Suppose a couple Divorce and have a child and one of the parents decides to re-marry, will the parent not want a cordial relation, acceptance by the child especially if they intend to live together as a family? If the child disagrees, does the parent say, "Do hell with what you think, your consent cannot control lives"? Or "Pack your bags and off you go to the hostel"?

Suppose the step-parent is abusive and the child shows dissent towards them, should the parent dismiss it as manipulation and controlling?.

Now coming to does a child have a say in who her parents wish to spend their lives with? The simple answer is YES. This is the reason the child's consent is VERY MUCH PART of the Custody process.

And... it seems Paritosh and Pakhi turned out to be swell adults with healthiest lives for never having been taught empathy and boundaries as children?

So, I guess, perfect set up for Adhya's adult life to be parented exactly as Pakhi and Paritosh were in their teens lol

Also like, Paritosh was literally an adult in a relationship outside of his parents' control when Upmaa was getting divorced unlike Adhya who is a preteen/early teen at best.

+ Pakhi's zidd as a highschooler to interfere in her parents' shitty marriage was never fruitful. Adhya's father got into a loveless engagement solely for her and then proceeded to cheat on his fiancée.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

And... it seems Paritosh and Pakhi turned out to be swell adults with healthiest lives for never having been taught empathy and boundaries as children?

So, I guess, perfect set up for Adhya's adult life to be parented exactly as Pakhi and Paritosh were in their teens lol

Said this before, say it again, the point is NOT how Paritosh or Pakhi turned out eons later. The point is, why is it being called an "issue" only in case of Adhya. Why was this "manipulative", "interference", not apparent or called out when the other "children" did the same thing.

Also like, Paritosh was literally an adult in a relationship outside of his parents' control when Upmaa was getting divorced unlike Adhya who is a preteen/early teen at best.

And Pakhi was a teenager. And your point is?What age does one have to understand cheating, abuse or any incorrect thing?

Are we saying that Adhya or for that matter any child should be blind to open cheating involving their parent, should be mute even if the situation hurts her and not voice out even if something wrong is happening?

Or are we saying that because the parent has given birth to the child or has adopted the child, the child has no option but to put up with the situations that adults' actions result in?

Are you questioning the collective wisdom of the judiciary globally that very much involve kids' consent in case of custody?

+ Pakhi's zidd as a highschooler to interfere in her parents' shitty marriage was never fruitful. Adhya's father got into a loveless engagement solely for her and then proceeded to cheat on his fiancée.

Again, what is your point here?

Both In case of Pakhi and Adhya forced their parents for something they believed and desired as a family.

Vanraj and Anupama were patient and in a calm way explained the situation to her. They did NOT recounting favours, were not rude, harsh with her.

Anuj was in his full consciousness when he agreed to get engaged. What stopped him from having a conversation and explaining to the child? Instead he resorted to harsh and rude behaviour, recounting he had done for the child who he willingly adopted as favours and even forced the child to interact with her abusers. Adhya is a child but he is an Adult. He is responsible for his every action and Adhya's actions since she is the child.

Comments inline.

We can go on in circles with the same points any number of times and trust me, if I am asked, I will reply🙂.