Adhya and her persistent hatred - Page 3

Originally posted by: invest_probe

Apologies for butting in. But why is Toshu & Pakhi's hate for Anupama laid on her door? I dont get this truly.

It appears that from day 1, these two kids have been taught to hate and belittle their mom by their dad and grandma.

However poorly, she has stood by them and tried to help them. Yet at every turn her attempts to teach them morals and straight path have been been undercut by the hatred within the Vanraj and Baa

I do not like Anupama's hectoring, or resorting to slaps or gaali....neither can I stand for one second her utter lack of spine, or her not even telling the freaking shah kids and kid-in-laws how they abandoned her years ago

She saw them and it was as if nothing had happened

I utterly detest this in this show as well as other shows (no FL can be a FL unless she is a doormat)

In short there is lot to blame Anupama for, but holding her responsible for mistakes of others - be it Shahs or Anuj or the Dhillons is unfair

Agree with you. Blame needs to be laid fairly, Anupama can be blamed squarely for other things but Toshu’s and Paakhi’s disrespect and nasty behavior cannot be laid at her door. They are ungrateful, entitled and bad humans.

I don't think aadya is traumatize because of abandon more over it is not symptoms of trauma

It is symptoms of jealousy and destructive mind

When anupama not even left Kapadia and not even left choti ,choti still use to hate anupama and could not tolerate anupama loving Pari during picnic

And not even once choti to anupama say why u left me

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

What good would that do though remembering how badly the Shahs treated Aadhya? Two wrongs don’t make a right and what Aadhya did to Pari was wrong. And telling Aadhya was not in the U.S. was because Aadhya threatened to call 911. Even the cops here won’t do anything if the kid is chastised by the parent for wrong doing and so long as excessive force tantamount to physical abuse is not used.

I completely agree, whatever happened with her in the past doesn't give her the right to treat pari that way, she's just too innocent for these kind of things

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

This is a forum and I am entitled to my opinion, if you call me hypocritical, I can say your take is one sided and opinionated.

Please re-read what I wrote, I stated clearly that it is upto Aadhya to forgive her mother or not, but her mother owes an explanation to her daughter.

Anuj was wrong in doubting Anupama’s love for Aadhya, he married a woman with children and a grandchild, she cannot cut her relations with them, he knew this going in, talking about that over and over is like beating a dead horse. If he wanted someone to romance and be only his, he married the wrong woman. He was no saint either (again the Maya incident). If he claims to love Anupama and know her so well then doubting her love for their child was wrong. I don’t care if you think that is hypocritical, that is my opinion.

We are not talking legality here, I was saying if my husband dared to doubt my love for my children, I would leave him as it would signal a lack of basic trust in my character and my role as mother. Also if you would care to re-read what I wrote and not be in haste to point fingers - I said BOTH parents were wrong and that the child suffered, that Anuj was wrong in doubting Anupama and Anupama was wrong in abandoning her child. I also said instead of referring to the incident as that “haadhsa” Anuj (and Anupama) should have addressed the issue with the child.

Lol, no one said Aadhya gets a special set of rules because she is adopted. Anupama HAS listed all that she has done for Toshu (didn’t she write it all down?) and I am sure if we look at all the prior episodes, she has told Pakhi off too similarly.

Plus I did not mention that Anupama should remind Aadhya the homeless man incident as a FAVOR to the girl but to reassure the girl and point out to her that as a mother, Anupama will always care for her daughter and try to save her from dangerous situations.

Ofcourse this is a forum and EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion, and I wholeheartedly agree my take will always be one sided, on Aadhya’s side who was ignored, belittled, abandoned, and gaslighted and abused.

LOL, couldn’t find any such point where it’s said that forgiving Anupama is upto Aadhya, but Anupama owed this explanation 5 yrs back, not now, not anymore that too in such a THREATENING TONE.

@bold; agree it has been discussed enough to even touch these points again, I don’t care if you think what happened in the past made Anupama look like a victim, my opinion won’t change anyway.
Anupama is responsible for current situation and Aadhya’s Mental condition and any kind of explanation from Anupama or her stans won’t change the fact.

Again, no point discussing further and going in circles.

Same mother allowed her best friend to call her daughter a bojh , that buddhi baa called her ganda khoon and upma herself talked about khoon ke rishte infront of a 6 years old kid but no only Aadhya is at fault for hating this stupid old grandmother..

Read all the posts. Lol to be honest if spouse lays finger on partner doubting whether the partner really loves their kid or not, I see people claiming they’d leave their spouses. Convenient, selfish and probably proves the very point of the partner. Oh the irony.

Originally posted by: prerna4rishav

Read all the posts. Lol to be honest if spouse lays finger on partner doubting whether the partner really loves their kid or not, I see people claiming they’d leave their spouses. Convenient, selfish and probably proves the very point of the partner. Oh the irony.

It would be regressive in my opinion to stay with a man who lays a finger on his wife AND doubts her sincerity and devotion as a mother.

It would not be convenient as you say, it would be heartbreaking.

It would not be selfish either, it would be self-preservation.

And no, it would not prove the point of the partner, just because a man or husband wrongly accuses a woman or a wife, that woman or wife is to give explanation after explanation but the man is absolved of all wrong doing? It goes to show he is unworthy of her love and devotion and he is not a good husband. A woman is to understand, forgive and forget and accept all his wrong doings (Anuj Maya khaand) but the husband has every right to interrogate and lay a finger on his wife?? That bespeaks of regression in its worst form.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

Ofcourse this is a forum and EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion, and I wholeheartedly agree my take will always be one sided, on Aadhya’s side who was ignored, belittled, abandoned, and gaslighted and abused.

LOL, couldn’t find any such point where it’s said that forgiving Anupama is upto Aadhya, but Anupama owed this explanation 5 yrs back, not now, not anymore that too in such a THREATENING TONE.

Since you couldn’t find it in my response to Harish111 that I requested you to read, here it is verbatim -

“Choosing to forgive her mom, is Aadhya’s choice but the mom does need to explain”

@bold; agree it has been discussed enough to even touch these points again, I don’t care if you think what happened in the past made Anupama look like a victim, my opinion won’t change anyway.
Anupama is responsible for current situation and Aadhya’s Mental condition and any kind of explanation from Anupama or her stans won’t change the fact.

I am not asking you to change your opinion, far from it, I was responding to your comment about finding my comments hypocritical cos I too am entitled to my opinion 😊

Again, no point discussing further and going in circles.
Agree :)

Response in red

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

It would be regressive in my opinion to stay with a man who lays a finger on his wife AND doubts her sincerity and devotion as a mother.

It would not be convenient as you say, it would be heartbreaking.

It would not be selfish either, it would be self-preservation.

And no, it would not prove the point of the partner, just because a man or husband wrongly accuses a woman or a wife, that woman or wife is to give explanation after explanation but the man is absolved of all wrong doing? It goes to show he is unworthy of her love and devotion and he is not a good husband. A woman is to understand, forgive and forget and accept all his wrong doings (Anuj Maya khaand) but the husband has every right to interrogate and lay a finger on his wife?? That bespeaks of regression in its worst form.

Life is not a warfield. You cannot go on a warpath over every little argument that you have with your partner especially when you have a kid in the picture. That’s why there’s a considerable period taken to ‘plan’ the family, but once you start it, there’re very little room for errors. A child’s needs triumph most of the things in life. And providing justifications to a partner’s allegations with examples (the ones Anuj had time and again) is not losing self-respect. One IS answerable to one’s family. That’s how a family works. Providing explanation is PART of it. Except for parents’, there’re no unconditional love in the world. Period. That doesn’t mean anyone tries to deliberately berate one’s partner. Questioning each other and providing justifications make a relationship healhier, only if one has the intention to stay in it and work on it, else yeah, we can go on warpath very well and lose everyone in life and stay alone.

P.S. - Just realized in Adhya’s case, even her parents’ love is not unconditional. Comes with so many criteria.

P.P.S. - I absolutely love the idea and people’s decisions to stay alone by CHOICE. And my statements above do not include them who stay alone by CHOICE. My statements are for those who chose to have relationships and then screwed them over with their own versions of ideologies and ended up staying alone against their initial preference and finally adjusting to it with a ‘grapes are sour’ attitude.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

What good would that do though remembering how badly the Shahs treated Aadhya? Two wrongs don’t make a right and what Aadhya did to Pari was wrong. And telling Aadhya was not in the U.S. was because Aadhya threatened to call 911. Even the cops here won’t do anything if the kid is chastised by the parent for wrong doing and so long as excessive force tantamount to physical abuse is not used.

Aren’t we supposed to revisit the worst part of the story during counselling which primarily leads to the path of healing ? What makes you think avoidance is the most advised and suitable path towards comeback ?