I know that I had disappeared for almost three months, but now I'm back hehe π
This OS is actually my tribute to Neil ; since we all know that Mohit is leaving the show ; and today, the (potential) new ML is going to make an entry.
Please don't throw tomatoes on me if it gets a bit out of character lol. This is the first time I have ever attempted to write in Neil's perspective - his POV is just so hard to write for some reason T_T
This work is inspired by the Greek legend of Orpheus and Eurydice. Set during the Multani track.
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Love, the Queen of all Tragedies - NeiVika OS
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(Not a music recommendation but I listened to O Re Piya while writing this!)
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Orpheus was a man of many talents, of unparalleled skill and prowess. With his father being Apollo and his mother a Muse, he was born with a penchant for music that no mortal man could rival. His lyre could soothe beasts, and his voice could charm enemies.
At the end of the day, however, he was still human. He was still so very human, and he fell in love with a woman named Eurydice.
When an untimely death befell her after their wedding, Orpheus was stricken with grief. He had done what no other man could, and descended into the Underworld to find her soul. He bartered with Charon to be ferried across the waters, charmed the three-headed dog Cerberus that guarded the gates and humbly prostrated himself before Hades and Persephone.
He played a performance so mournful that it had convinced the gods to defy death. They allowed him to take Eurydice back to the realm of the living, on one condition. She must walk behind him, and he must not turn around.
It was a simple task. A task so simple that no man should dare find it arduous, if not in love.
But that is the prerequisite, is it not? For it takes a man in love to withstand the Underworld and come out unharmed. For it takes a man in love to face the Gods and walk away with their mercy. For it takes a man in love to save his dearest; for it takes a man in love to be unable to save his dearest.
And so, Orpheus turned around.
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When he had first read the tragedy long ago, Neil remembers how he had scoffed at the display of folly. How he had declared that if it were him, he would simply not turn around, that he would not succumb to temptations.
To trust that your long lost beloved is right behind you? To not look back for assurance and to keep walking forward in search of light? Neil had once claimed that there was no other task as simple and as easy as this.
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A few years before fate had decided to rob him of his peace, Neil even remembers having a discussion with Yuvika on this tragic tale, when they had decided to take a break from trekking under the cold climate of Rishikesh.
( "Isn't that tragic, Neil?" Yuvika sighed, air leaving her lips in the form of white fog as she rubbed her upper arms to preserve some heat. "They were so close to being reunited."
Using a thin branch to adjust the fire, Neil scoffed.
"'Sad'? More like foolish. Why would he even turn around, when he knew that the life of the one he loved was on the line?"
Yuvika chuckled, her palms facing towards the heat of the campfire they had set up, as if she had expected Neil's response.
"He turned around because he loved her, Neil. He loved her so much he couldn't save her."
"If he truly loved her, he shouldn't have looked back. He should have trusted her that she would be okay. Your cheeks must be cold, come here."
Yuvika said nothing as Neil fervently rubbed his palms and cupped her cheeks, making sure they didn't stay cold. A few moments later, she spoke again.
"But it's the nature of human heart, Neil. Once you fall in love, I think that thereβs always a part of you which will always yearn and worry for your lover, regardless of the circumstances. The tragic part is that Orpheus let it get to his head ; his love overwhelmed him.β
They were impossibly close, gazes fixed on each other. The bright yellow flames of the campfire illuminated Yuvika's face, giving her eyes an amber glow.
Frowning at the strange feeling of butterflies fluttering in his heart, Neil averted his eyes and looked at the source of the fire - but his hands stubbornly refused to leave her face, for some reason.
"That doesn't change the fact that he was a fool." )
It was only later he realised that the soft, sweet feeling he had just experienced was what people liked to refer to as Love : the Queen of all Tragedies.
Ironic, isn't it?
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One year.
12 months.
52 weeks.
365 days.
8670 hours.
525600 minutes.
31536000 seconds of pure, unadulterated Grief.
Approximately 31.5 Million seconds of Numbness, Apathy, Denial, Helplessness, Frustration, Anger, Rage, Bargaining, Delusion, Hysteria, Patheticness, Misery, Sorrow, Depression, Hopelessness, Acknowledgement, Melancholy and finally, Acceptance.
And yet all it takes is one second, for Neil's defenses to crumble away as if they never existed. All it takes is one moment, and he is free falling, finding himself back to square one. All it takes is a single glimpse of her face, and suddenly breathing becomes easy, and his heart starts beating again.
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Back then in Rishikesh, Neil wasn't able to decipher Yuvika's words, but he understands now.
As he sees his beloved talk, behave, masquerade as an entirely different person after a year of her supposed demise, Neil finally understands.
And now that he is faced with a similar predicament, Neil empathizes with Orpheus. In fact, he only wonders how Orpheus had lasted so long.
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'My name is Yukti Multani', she introduces herself as she renders everyone astounded.
'Yuvika Mahajan is dead', she claims as she shakes hands with her murderer.
'I am not your daughter', she smirks as she insults her mother.
'I am not your sister', she tells her siblings with cold confidence.
'I am not your lover!' she shouts, fire ablaze in her eyes as she shuts the door on his face.
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Neil is not oblivious. He knows how the tale goes.
He knows that if he dares to turn around and look back, if he dares to succumb to his temptation of truth, if he dares to make the same mistake as Orpheus, he would lose his everything.
Neil had always been a possessive lover and yet, Death had almost managed to court Yuvika thrice. Neil wouldn't let it happen the fourth time. He wouldn't.
And so, all Neil can do is to force himself to keep walking forward.
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Heaven knows that Neil had tried. He had tried so hard to stay a mere bystander, to keep moving forward, to trust Yuvika's actions, to not turn around and look for the truth.
But the calamity of love is inevitable. It is slow, it is gradual, and it is so very sure of itself.
It is like cloying honey seeping into the crevices of his being, mending the broken pieces together until it is a unified body made to care for who he holds dear.
It is like saccharine syrup leaking into the machinations of his mind, rewiring the circuits until it is a single system operating under the sole command of his pining heart. It is a primal undoing, and it brings forth the sweetest of destructions.
And oh, does Neil Bharadwaj let himself be ruined.
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'Yuvika, is it you?', Neil asks his beloved's breathing replica out loud, too overwhelmed with emotions to stop the wetness streaming down his cheeks.
'Can you hear me, Yuvika? Can you hear the echo of my shattered heart?', Neil looks longingly at her back as he tries to walk Buzo away.
'Say something so I can hear you, Yuvika.' Neil murmurs to himself, bystander to the commotion as she slaps her brother.
'Say something so I know that this is all an act. That you are still here. That it indeed is you.β Neil pleads as his lover disrupts and ruins her revered father's mourning ceremony with her own hands, a mere witness to her performance.
'Any sign, indication, adumbration, anything will do.β His heart, which he thought had become numb the moment he saw her dead body, wails helplessly as he watches her leave the place without a glint of remorse in her cold, blue, expressionless eyes.
βGive me anything and I will know that it is you. That is all I ask of you.' All he can do is plead and beg and yearn for an answer, for a response.
'Yuvika, please.' Neil whispers her name, like a prayer. Maybe it is.
Walking through the dark sea of desperation and searching for his lost tranquility, silence is the only echo he receives in return.
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Logic dictates that Neil knows the one in front of him is his lover.
Logic dictates that Neil knows she's silent for a reason, for a purpose so grave, that even her own identity falls short when compared to its significance.
Logic dictates that Neil knows not to turn around and search for Yukti's origins, for that is the only way Yuvika can accomplish her plans without any hindrance.
However, logic also dictates that because Neil cares, that because Neil can't stop caring, he will inevitably turn around.
Still, Neil does not turn around. But it is a matter of when, not if.
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Orpheus may be the first fool, but Neil Bharadwaj is the biggest one of them all. It is almost laughable how pitiful, how weak, how helpless he is not in the face of Death but in the face of love.
To trust that your long lost beloved is right beside you, to not look back for assurance and to keep walking forward unaccompanied, in search of the light of happiness.
Indeed, it is a simple task, on paper. It is a simple task that no man should dare find arduous, if not in love.
But that is the prerequisite, is it not?
For it takes a man in love to rush inside Phoenix bathed in flames, entering in the mouth of Death and returning with his lover unscathed.
For it takes a man in love to let out a guttural, gut wrenching scream a few months later, watching history repeat itself as the flaming building collapses with his lover still trapped inside.
For it takes a man in love to helplessly witness from the sidelines as his beloved rises from the dead and destructs herself in her pursuit of revenge.
For it takes a man in love to save his dearest; for it takes a man in love to be unable to save his dearest.
To love Yuvika Mahajan is to face dangers unperturbed everyday, if only for a chance to cherish a moment with her. To love Yuvika Mahajan is to falter at every little step, if only to worry about her state of being. To love Yuvika Mahajan is to seek the untouchable, to listen to the inaudible and to look at the invisible with all the fondness you can muster.
To love Yuvika Mahajan is to turn around.
And so, Neil Bharadwaj turns around.
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