Anupama has taken women empowerment 500 years back - Page 2

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

If the girl is well educated and earning good, and still thinks my parents won’t accept me back, comes in manipulation by MIL that too based on a stupid TV show and is happily getting abused just to show the society that she has a husband, then I’m sorry problem lies with the girl.

And pls don’t say a well to do family which is from North so conservative, I belong there too and no people I know around me are not like that. Depends on family to family.

Maybe she doesn’t have the right support or guidance, but staying in an abusive marriage is no solution.

Getting inspired by a TV show like this is no solution. 

I have a distant relative who had a child and  taken divorce at 40, is independent and earning well, built her own house after that and recently got her son married with her own money.

In corporate world many such cases are there where woman will even shift abroad to make marriage work than leave abusive hubby 

If all working woman would be brave enough to divorce many would but sadly thats not true most adjust to hubby abuses or hubby two timing them in office with another woman etc 

Unlike serials or thapad movie no indian woman leaves hubby for one thapad or insult or many years of abuse too. Also unike that movie daughters are not welcome back by parents if hubby abuses or she divorces. Its only possible in serials and movies all this. 

Sadly thats reality of indian women whether in big big MNC or anywhere else 

If all abused educated woman and independent woman start divorce than courts will be filled with cases 

Yes they are very well to as her family is doctors and her grand father was doctor and family business too etc and kandaani rich family 

But they come from rajasthan where divorce is taboo(they say) and full family gets social bahiskar or avoided if woman divorce (that girl says like that only that her family will get boycotted by their society if she divorces) i am not sure how much this holds in 2024

The boy is a rajasthani too  but highly educated in USA his masters(like anuj kapadiya kind) and it was arranged marriage

Shes highly under confident and shes been brought up like that by her family although shes highly educated and works in TOp 5 company of india 

Problem is society and family will boycott abused woman, government also does not support any which way financially or giving job help etc so on one side girls who divorce have to work themselves and second is protect themselves from back lash by their community its not that easy as it may sound. Also private sector jobs are not permanent you could lose them any time and notable to pay next house rent or gt grocery home if you divorce and be alone. 

And biggest problem is in these 3 years after marriage whatever she earn her hubby takes off every month. Before marriage she would give all her salary to mother now husband. If she do not give she will get beaten again and abused by in laws too.  Lots of issues in indian divorce for women its not as easy as USA/europe where even if you have no food or house you have unemployment batta etc to fall on and society will not trouble you bec you are divorced from hubby 

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

If the girl is well educated and earning good, and still thinks my parents won’t accept me back, comes in manipulation by MIL that too based on a stupid TV show and is happily getting abused just to show the society that she has a husband, then I’m sorry problem lies with the girl.

And pls don’t say a well to do family which is from North so conservative, I belong there too and no people I know around me are not like that. Depends on family to family.

Maybe she doesn’t have the right support or guidance, but staying in an abusive marriage is no solution.

Getting inspired by a TV show like this is no solution. 

I have a distant relative who had a child and  taken divorce at 40, is independent and earning well, built her own house after that and recently got her son married with her own money.

Good for her 

what i observe is 80s and 90s was much better on single and divorced woman than 2024

Now ppl are highly indifferent to anyone misery or pains and are more conservative than ppl of 80s and 90s 

when i studied school in 90s and 2000s early we had woman teachers who are widows, divorced or single even at 40 years teaching us in school 

And no one discriminated any of them indeed we little kids had more sympathy and respect to those woman teachers and gifted them lots of gits on teachers day or their birthday since we know they are single or no family etc and if that teacher unwell in school students parents only would drop them in car to their house who live near by area etc at least that humanity was there in 90s and 2000s unlike now. If we stayed near by and know teacher unwell we would drop by daily to check if they are ok need something etc nowadays school/college students have no bonding with teachers at all its very commercial relationship 

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

Exactly! And if you are educated, earning well, how difficult is it to find a working women’s hostel and move out? Who can stop you? If anyone tries forcefully, dial the cops, they will be there within 30 mins

Taking first step is hard, rest all falls into place by itself.

And first and foremost, if a toxic show like Anupama is influencing you in a negative way, stop watching it instead of seeing yourself in that useless character.

And no one, exactly no one comes for help not even your own parents many a times, you have to do it for yourself.

And these are the only people who in the end resort to taking their lives because they couldn’t take a strong step.

Apologies if I sound harsh but sick of hearing such stories.

This i agree

Parents only do arranged marriage and fix boy and do not want their daughters to do love marriage etc 

But when problems arise they look other way and give message do not come back home or expect help 

Originally posted by: strancho

The problem is we are raised in such a way where we think what will people think of us. It’s not only about walking out of an abusive family. Even at work or normally people do that. For instance, earlier I used to think what would others think of me before asking any doubt or presenting my point. With time I realised, that it doesn’t matter what others perceive of me. Not saying that society doesn’t matter at all but it should not hinder your decision making.

As you said taking the first step is always hard. In this show, the FL took the first step by divorcing but again regressed two steps back by staying back in that house. Her defiance to learn anything is the worst thing. She believes that elders should be respected even if they kill you just because they are elders and they would never be wrong. She didn’t even learn to say sorry and thank you properly in all these years. Someone has to push her to chase her dreams. Nobody pushed her to take divorce right? Then why she needs a push for other things. 

You must have seen jhanvi and ishan khattar first movie 

Problem is once you divorce ppl will avoid you boycott you humiliate you, your own family and relatives will not call for functions or wedding etc its a total boycott by family and relatives in some places 

Thats why girls fear divorce without family approval 

You may live in biggest city of india but rules of small villages like boycott are applicable even in mteeros 

I know girls who have left hubby or done love marriage against family wish and not called for any function by family, relatives, their known caste or village ppl etc that too in metros imagine  total boycott happens 

Anupama's situation is Not the problem, the approach and unwillingness to come out of her problems.

She did not have the parental pressure. Infact right from the time Anupama came to know of Vanraj's betrayal, her mother and brother were willing to take her in. Even after divorce, they insisted on her moving into Joshi household, not only did Anupama reject it, she let her family be abused.

How can there be any excuse for this?

Her mother who can be called traditional, her brother who probably had a family of his own and they weren't even well off, ALL encouraged her to breakfast and start life afresh. They did not bother log kya kahenge.

Rakhi Dave stood up for her daughter's well being each time, the same daughter who let her mother be insulted. Kinjal did not bother about log kya kahenge when she eloped, Rakhi never bothered about log kya kahenge when she was harassed at workplace or when she knew Paritosh's betrayal. But she Chose to stay back. To give the infant a family like Shahs? Really?

Ironically, to date, the daughter is only taking ungrateful, undue advantage for her mother's resources. Not trying to solve her problems.

How can her stupidity be an excuse?

Originally posted by: STPrincess

Bingo ! If the girls parents don't want her back, she can choose to find a working woman's hostel. Hell, even put up with a friend fir a few nights ! 

To me, it seems like this girl has issues - she herself can't or doesn't want to see herself free of abuse. How does it matter what society thinks about you or your family - are they coming in to stop the abuse? 

She has gone and lived at friends house for few days when he hits her and than goes back home 

Problem is in her society no one divorces they are very conservative i believe 

When parents are doctors and give such belief to girl kids you can imagine how their society may be 

Its not like you are born in big metro and lived all life in mumbai or delhi or new york or london than your behaviour is diff than if you come from small towns whih are highly conservative for girls 

Originally posted by: myviewprem

You must have seen jhanvi and ishan khattar first movie 

Problem is once you divorce ppl will avoid you boycott you humiliate you, your own family and relatives will not call for functions or wedding etc its a total boycott by family and relatives in some places 

Thats why girls fear divorce without family approval 

You may live in biggest city of india but rules of small villages like boycott are applicable even in mteeros 

I know girls who have left hubby or done love marriage against family wish and not called for any function by family, relatives, their known caste or village ppl etc that too in metros imagine  total boycott happens 

This is not entirely accurate. It is mostly done by people who are rigid and orthodox. And these people are the ones who nurture their kids to think about society first. I can tell that even if I marry someone of my choice and if I decide to get divorce later for valid reasons, my family would support me and stand behind me

Originally posted by: strancho

This is not entirely accurate. It is mostly done by people who are rigid and orthodox. And these people are the ones who nurture their kids to think about society first. I can tell that even if I marry someone of my choice and if I decide to get divorce later for valid reasons, my family would support me and stand behind me

Your kind of parents are rare in world that too in india 

Also you think your parents will support or love you most but when situation arises than you will know if its real 

I have seen my own best friends or neighbours or colleagues say same as you  about their family or parents and when issue arise parents never support 

Most parents in india talk big big when really it happens know they have to act they will get cold feet okkk

I have seen many modern very educated rich parents tell all sort of dialogues when their daughters need help they will do excat opposite of what they say. 80% mom dad, siblings will say big dialgoues when real life it happens they will look other way. Sorry to be so frank but i have seem nay girls classmates, collegaues, cousins, neighbours say same dialogues till reality happens and truue color of family known than. If all indian parents were that great 30% woman would have divorced by now another 30% waiting in courts in line to get divorce from abusive hubby or in laws 

Karishma kapoor went back to her abusive hubby who had another woman and had another child bec her family forced her too

What about jaya bachchan why she stay with AB Sr? 

Same with many famous wives whose hubby have affairs 

Originally posted by: myviewprem

In corporate world many such cases are there where woman will even shift abroad to make marriage work than leave abusive hubby 

If all working woman would be brave enough to divorce many would but sadly thats not true most adjust to hubby abuses or hubby two timing them in office with another woman etc 

Unlike serials or thapad movie no indian woman leaves hubby for one thapad or insult or many years of abuse too. Also unike that movie daughters are not welcome back by parents if hubby abuses or she divorces. Its only possible in serials and movies all this. 

Sadly thats reality of indian women whether in big big MNC or anywhere else 

If all abused educated woman and independent woman start divorce than courts will be filled with cases 

Yes they are very well to as her family is doctors and her grand father was doctor and family business too etc and kandaani rich family 

But they come from rajasthan where divorce is taboo(they say) and full family gets social bahiskar or avoided if woman divorce (that girl says like that only that her family will get boycotted by their society if she divorces) i am not sure how much this holds in 2024

The boy is a rajasthani too  but highly educated in USA his masters(like anuj kapadiya kind) and it was arranged marriage

Shes highly under confident and shes been brought up like that by her family although shes highly educated and works in TOp 5 company of india 

Problem is society and family will boycott abused woman, government also does not support any which way financially or giving job help etc so on one side girls who divorce have to work themselves and second is protect themselves from back lash by their community its not that easy as it may sound. Also private sector jobs are not permanent you could lose them any time and notable to pay next house rent or gt grocery home if you divorce and be alone. 

And biggest problem is in these 3 years after marriage whatever she earn her hubby takes off every month. Before marriage she would give all her salary to mother now husband. If she do not give she will get beaten again and abused by in laws too.  Lots of issues in indian divorce for women its not as easy as USA/europe where even if you have no food or house you have unemployment batta etc to fall on and society will not trouble you bec you are divorced from hubby 

Again, this is not about Indian women or any particular State, religion or culture.

Rajasthan is my home state, and I can tell I haven’t seen anything like this around me, I have infact seen inter caste and inter religion marriages in family, divorce too, and no one has faced any kinda issue from family side or the society we move in.

If we are talking about remote villages, then this can be anywhere not just one state or country but anywhere across the globe.

And no, no one boycotts you and your family if you are divorced. Atleast not in major cities especially when you say someone is from a well to do family of educated folks. Its the issue with the family in particular.

In this case, maybe the girl needs a strong support like Anupama had Devika, right counselling and some confidence, and if she is getting gaslighted by her MIL then we know what’s the issue, she maybe living with a Leela.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Your kind of parents are rare in world that too in india 

Also you think your parents will support or love you most but when situation arises than you will know if its real 

I have seen my own best friends or neighbours or colleagues say same as you  about their family or parents and when issue arise parents never support 

Most parents in india talk big big when really it happens know they have to act they will get cold feet okkk

I have seen many modern very educated rich parents tell all sort of dialogues when their daughters need help they will do excat opposite of what they say. 80% mom dad, siblings will say big dialgoues when real life it happens they will look other way. Sorry to be so frank but i have seem nay girls classmates, collegaues, cousins, neighbours say same dialogues till reality happens and truue color of family known than. If all indian parents were that great 30% woman would have divorced by now another 30% waiting in courts in line to get divorce from abusive hubby or in laws 

Karishma kapoor went back to her abusive hubby who had another woman and had another child bec her family forced her too

What about jaya bachchan why she stay with AB Sr? 

Same with many famous wives whose hubby have affairs 

I don’t know about others. I can only say about myself. Also, I have seen divorce of inter caste couples and none of them behaved that way. That’s why I said it is not entirely true. You can’t say for surety that parents will abandon their child. You have seen cases where they do and that’s why in your perception it is a general practice. I haven’t seen that yet but I won’t dare say that it is not true. People are changing and it would take time. It is not only on the responsibility of a parent to teach their child but vice Versa as well. My own mom has changed a lot and that happened because of me and my brother. The point I am trying to make is one has to start somewhere. There’s no guarantee that if one tries he/she would be successful but if they don’t even try then it is guaranteed that things would never change 

Regarding celebrities, nobody knows what is true and what’s not. They are totally different than common people. Things that are common among them aren’t among us