"Anupamaa is the face of women empowerment!' - Page 3

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

Quite the opposite. They worship this show because they are stuck in abusive relationships. It suits their narrative that it's not their fault that they have been suppressed and unable to make careers.

I have legit been called homebreaker by my own relatives simply when I asked the men to make do with Roti, Rice, Dal and One curry for lunch and they were scolding their wives for not making Two curries instead.

And guess what the women supported them and turned against me.

So this is years of gaslighting that wires them to think of stuff like family first, career women are losers, and being a MAA completes them. This show is not making them think like that, but only validating them and hence is a hit.

Okay and despite your experiences about how your own family was horribly hostile towards you for asking something as simple as cooking from the men in your life, you fail to see how women might genuinely be stuck in abusive marriages because they might genuinely have zero social, familial, or financial support network.You acknowledged that women are often gaslit by people to endure abuse.You go on further to say that being stuck in abusive marriages is the victim's fault than the abuser's and their enablers. This is literal victim-blaming. The dissonance and privilege is real.

Society is patriarchal. Women get power by siding with patriarchs but men are the ones who get power over both sort of women lol. Leela abused Upmaa but Hansmukh enabled it and then can threaten Leela ki "ab humara rishta khatam. Aaj tak maine kucch nahi kaha par par aaj tune hadh paar kar di." Leela's power wahin khatam.

Even with Upma, her natal family is her first betrayer who got her married as teenager when her personality, mentality and socioeconomic qualifications were all malleable. Then she literally grew up not amongst her peers but subtle manipulators and overt abusers like Leela and Hansmukh. She got divorced in her mid-40s with no rich family to support her, no degree, no savings. Unlike in itv, irl lawyers take money and divorce proceedings go on for years.

And even then, Anupamaa went on to be an enabler and abuser herself. That is where the show fails. Not because Maan's romance bloomed or failed. That is of no relevance at all.

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Okay and despite your experiences about how your own family was horribly hostile towards you for asking something as simple as cooking from the men in your life, you fail to see how women might genuinely be stuck in abusive marriages because they might genuinely have zero social, familial, or financial support network.You acknowledged that women are often gaslit by people to endure abuse.You go on further to say that being stuck in abusive marriages is the victim's fault than the abuser's and their enablers. This is literal victim-blaming. The dissonance and privilege is real.

Society is patriarchal. Women get power by siding with patriarchs but men are the ones who get power over both sort of women lol. Leela abused Upmaa but Hansmukh enabled it and then can threaten Leela ki "ab humara rishta khatam. Aaj tak maine kucch nahi kaha par par aaj tune hadh paar kar di." Leela's power wahin khatam.

Even with Upma, her natal family is her first betrayer who got her married as teenager when her personality, mentality and socioeconomic qualifications were all malleable. Then she literally grew up not amongst her peers but subtle manipulators and overt abusers like Leela and Hansmukh. She got divorced in her mid-40s with no rich family to support her, no degree, no savings. Unlike in itv, irl lawyers take money and divorce proceedings go on for years.

And even then, Anupamaa went on to be an enabler and abuser herself. That is where the show fails. Not because Maan's romance bloomed or failed. That is of no relevance at all.

Even with good intentions, people say horrible things to women who endure abuse from their family. I'm not talking on behalf of all women. Because Patriarchy doesn't work the same way for everyone. Some women mistake it that way. Patriarchy is harsher for some, moderate for some and mild for others. Men and women ki hierarchy ke alava, women to women ke bitch kai hierarchy hoti hai.

So... Kai women ko sirf resources ki kami nahi hoti (jo legimately hoti hi hai). Unki jaan par khatara hota hai. Aur you know what... logo ko to apne saamne wale insaan ki pareshani nahi dikhti/samjh aati to ham kaise expect kare kisi women se ki wo apne class bubble ke bahar ke logo ki pain ko samjhe!

Kai gharo me women lagatar violence ke saaye me rahti hain. So that's how things run in our society. Also, kitna causally gaslighting word ka use kar rhe yaha! Gaslighting word is coined specifically for suvivors of domestic Violence. It is not a metaphor. Jaise mental illness se jude kai words ko everyday word bana diya gya hai, waise hi ise bhi.

So... "societal Conditioning", patriarchal values ke prati sahmati rakhna aur gaslighting.. ye teen alag 2 baate hain. Jinhe log mix karke baat karte hain.

Kai women genuinely Patriarchal values rakhti hain, aur kuch problems ke bavjud use freely accept karti hain kyonki wo unhe hierarchy me ooncha darja deta hai.

Kuch women conditioned (waise kitna part conditioning hai, kitna value system hai, ye tak log nahi jaan pate. Aur ise jananaa bhi mushkil hai) hoti hain... To education aur exposure se wo usse bahar bhi aane lagti hain. Kai baar ham kuch patriarchal values ke khilaf hote hain par kuch se sahmat hote hain (ye majority women ke saath hai. Basically ham utne se asahmat hain jinse hame koi nuksan hai).

Aur rahi baat gaslighting ki... To ye abuse ka part hai. Koi shauk nahi hai, koi ideology nahi hai aur na hi conditioning!!

To pata nahi kyon ise etna casually use kiya jata hai!!

Maine kisi thread me ek jagah kaha tha ki Anupamaa agar koi real woman hoti to mujhe usse hamdardi hoti, aur mai use judge nahi karti. Lekin wo ek fictional character hai aur TV par khaas agenda ke naate dikhaai jati hai isliye mujhe usse shikayat hai.

Real life me women saalo ke abuse ke baad etni traumatized ho chuki hoti hain ki wo khud apne oppression me na sirf participate karti hain balki khud apne se weak women ki oppressor ban jati hain.

Lekin real life women aise National TV par to nahi aati, na hi ye sab apni marji se karti hain! Koi Rich/handsome mard unse love marriage karne ke liye paglayaa rahta hai!

Trauma ki samjh abhi hamare yaha jyadatar mental health professionals aur professional Social workers tak ko nahi hai. Hamare system me baithe policy makers, law and order ko nahi hai. To fir common people se ummed kya kare?

Dusra.. Therapy koi paracetamol type cheez bhi nahi hoti. Wo kisi ko "cute" karne ki cheez bhi nahi ki guarantee de!

It depends upon so many factors you see!

Rajan Shahi apne shows me mental health issues ke baare me etna kuch galat dikhate hain ki pucho mat! Fir rahi sahi kasar YouTube ke motivation babao ne Puri kar di hai!

Baaki abusive family/relationship se nikalanwe ke liye..

1) Financial support

2) Emotional Support

3) Employment

4) Social Support

5) Therapy

Ye sab kaun dega? Koi nahi. Abhi to Maine kaanun ke insaaf ki baat tak nahi ki.

Ek woman ke paas jane ke liye 3 hi jagah bachte hain:

1) Ya to ekdam si exploitative condition me rahkar 12-14 ghante kaam kare aur mutthi bhar Paisa kamaye (jo ki violence survivor nahi kar sakti. Aur jo karti hain, unke saath employers fir se wahi sab karta hai)

2) Ya to shelter home me chali jaye. Iske baare me jitna kahe wo kam hai.

3) Suicide...

Ye teeno options etne bure hain ki women abusive family me samjhauta karne ka option chunti hai. Na sah sake to mar jati hai. (Yani 3rd option)

Jo "lucky" hoti hain unhe kuch individuals support karne (with heavy terms and conditions) wale mil jate hain!

Anupamaa me to ek bhi aise women character ko nahi dikhaaya gya jo majority of women ki tarah total helpless ho!

Usme to exceptions hi dikhaye gaye hain. Aur uske baavjud usmen har women ko "shame" hi kiya gya. Rape survivors, career women, human trafficking survivor, orphans, DV survivors... Kiska majak nahi bana!

Agar kisi women ko baar baar defend kiya gya to wo apni choice se patriarchy ko enjoy aur bardasht karne wali women (Baa) ko!

So... Even in real life... Baa jaisi women ko hi log support karte hain, chahe gaanv ho ya shahar!

So... Women ka women ko aise shame karna kitna jyada pathetic hai, ye khud women ko nazar hi nahi aata!

The way women ridicule other women's pain... it's astonishing!

Sorry to chime in.

About Anupama and Women empowerment. This itself is an oxymoron.

Agree with ALL the points mentioned above. Think about a scenario. A woman who is already going through everything that is shown in terms of abuse is the target audience.

By showing the exact same thing without calling it out, somewhere the show justifies the act. Instead of empathising, one is pitying them. That is the worst one can do.

Visual medium is very powerful if used the right way, can enable positive changes. The medium can promote hope and give a positive outlook and correct direction towards a pragmatic solution.

When we joined the workforce, we saw women leaders who were very bitter (may be because their struggle was much higher and road to success was filled with bitter experiences) a d always assumed we were more privileged and got things easy vis-a-vis their and would do everything you put you down so that you go through the grind.

From there, we now see women supporting each other so that they don't go through what they themselves had to endure. Like senior colleagues or aingle women taking up the shifts of a new mother, covering up to meet deadlines, sharing experiences during pregnancy and looking out. Many of them did not have family support, so helping them pick kids up or groceries. These are just minor instances.

The point is, the show does not see a conclusion of any problem that is picked up and will butcher the issue to elevate but the female lead. Anupama need NOT solve anyone's problems. Let her first recognise her own problems and find a logical conclusion with Her Own Efforts.

Keeping Maan aside and forgetting what happened 26 years back.

Today Dimpy is new Anupama and her abusers are very people she calls family and worship them. By supporting them, raising her hand on her DIL, brain washing her DIL to believe Baa is cute, Anupama is no different than Baa herself or shall I say Dukhmukh

Originally posted by: nivi26

Even with good intentions, people say horrible things to women who endure abuse from their family. I'm not talking on behalf of all women. Because Patriarchy doesn't work the same way for everyone. Some women mistake it that way. Patriarchy is harsher for some, moderate for some and mild for others. Men and women ki hierarchy ke alava, women to women ke bitch kai hierarchy hoti hai.

So... Kai women ko sirf resources ki kami nahi hoti (jo legimately hoti hi hai). Unki jaan par khatara hota hai. Aur you know what... logo ko to apne saamne wale insaan ki pareshani nahi dikhti/samjh aati to ham kaise expect kare kisi women se ki wo apne class bubble ke bahar ke logo ki pain ko samjhe!

Kai gharo me women lagatar violence ke saaye me rahti hain. So that's how things run in our society. Also, kitna causally gaslighting word ka use kar rhe yaha! Gaslighting word is coined specifically for suvivors of domestic Violence. It is not a metaphor. Jaise mental illness se jude kai words ko everyday word bana diya gya hai, waise hi ise bhi.

So... "societal Conditioning", patriarchal values ke prati sahmati rakhna aur gaslighting.. ye teen alag 2 baate hain. Jinhe log mix karke baat karte hain.

Kai women genuinely Patriarchal values rakhti hain, aur kuch problems ke bavjud use freely accept karti hain kyonki wo unhe hierarchy me ooncha darja deta hai.

Kuch women conditioned (waise kitna part conditioning hai, kitna value system hai, ye tak log nahi jaan pate. Aur ise jananaa bhi mushkil hai) hoti hain... To education aur exposure se wo usse bahar bhi aane lagti hain. Kai baar ham kuch patriarchal values ke khilaf hote hain par kuch se sahmat hote hain (ye majority women ke saath hai. Basically ham utne se asahmat hain jinse hame koi nuksan hai).

Aur rahi baat gaslighting ki... To ye abuse ka part hai. Koi shauk nahi hai, koi ideology nahi hai aur na hi conditioning!!

To pata nahi kyon ise etna casually use kiya jata hai!!

Maine kisi thread me ek jagah kaha tha ki Anupamaa agar koi real woman hoti to mujhe usse hamdardi hoti, aur mai use judge nahi karti. Lekin wo ek fictional character hai aur TV par khaas agenda ke naate dikhaai jati hai isliye mujhe usse shikayat hai.

Real life me women saalo ke abuse ke baad etni traumatized ho chuki hoti hain ki wo khud apne oppression me na sirf participate karti hain balki khud apne se weak women ki oppressor ban jati hain.

Lekin real life women aise National TV par to nahi aati, na hi ye sab apni marji se karti hain! Koi Rich/handsome mard unse love marriage karne ke liye paglayaa rahta hai!

Trauma ki samjh abhi hamare yaha jyadatar mental health professionals aur professional Social workers tak ko nahi hai. Hamare system me baithe policy makers, law and order ko nahi hai. To fir common people se ummed kya kare?

Dusra.. Therapy koi paracetamol type cheez bhi nahi hoti. Wo kisi ko "cute" karne ki cheez bhi nahi ki guarantee de!

It depends upon so many factors you see!

Rajan Shahi apne shows me mental health issues ke baare me etna kuch galat dikhate hain ki pucho mat! Fir rahi sahi kasar YouTube ke motivation babao ne Puri kar di hai!

Baaki abusive family/relationship se nikalanwe ke liye..

1) Financial support

2) Emotional Support

3) Employment

4) Social Support

5) Therapy

Ye sab kaun dega? Koi nahi. Abhi to Maine kaanun ke insaaf ki baat tak nahi ki.

Ek woman ke paas jane ke liye 3 hi jagah bachte hain:

1) Ya to ekdam si exploitative condition me rahkar 12-14 ghante kaam kare aur mutthi bhar Paisa kamaye (jo ki violence survivor nahi kar sakti. Aur jo karti hain, unke saath employers fir se wahi sab karta hai)

2) Ya to shelter home me chali jaye. Iske baare me jitna kahe wo kam hai.

3) Suicide...

Ye teeno options etne bure hain ki women abusive family me samjhauta karne ka option chunti hai. Na sah sake to mar jati hai. (Yani 3rd option)

Jo "lucky" hoti hain unhe kuch individuals support karne (with heavy terms and conditions) wale mil jate hain!

Anupamaa me to ek bhi aise women character ko nahi dikhaaya gya jo majority of women ki tarah total helpless ho!

Usme to exceptions hi dikhaye gaye hain. Aur uske baavjud usmen har women ko "shame" hi kiya gya. Rape survivors, career women, human trafficking survivor, orphans, DV survivors... Kiska majak nahi bana!

Agar kisi women ko baar baar defend kiya gya to wo apni choice se patriarchy ko enjoy aur bardasht karne wali women (Baa) ko!

So... Even in real life... Baa jaisi women ko hi log support karte hain, chahe gaanv ho ya shahar!

So... Women ka women ko aise shame karna kitna jyada pathetic hai, ye khud women ko nazar hi nahi aata!

The way women ridicule other women's pain... it's astonishing!

Like seriously! To say this show suits victims' narrative that it's not their fault that they have been suppressed and unable to make careers is so beyond tone-deaf, condescending and just horrid. Bina caste aur class privilege ke kaunsa auraton ne phoolon ke raste par chalke career bana leti hain is beyond me.

Originally posted by: Km181

Keeping Maan aside and forgetting what happened 26 years back.

Today Dimpy is new Anupama and her abusers are very people she calls family and worship them. By supporting them, raising her hand on her DIL, brain washing her DIL to believe Baa is cute, Anupama is no different than Baa herself or shall I say Dukhmukh

Ye Dukhmukh ke 80-85 saal ki jindagi ka purpose kya hai?

"Wo achhe aadmi hain. Jyada Paisa nahi kamaya par ijjat kamaya. Parivar ke saath Raha."

Q. Ijjat kaise kamai?

A. Cream roll khakar?

Q. Parivar ke saath kaise rahe?

A. Dhritrastra bankar.

Q. Wo achhe aadmi kyon hain?

A. Kyonki wo laachar hain, majburi hain aur kuch kar nahi sakte!

Q. Kyon nahi kar sakte?

A. Kyonki kuch karenge to kab cream roll khayenge?

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

These shows are an absolute contradiction of their claims.

Kitne hi toh issues hain.

Dekha jaaye toh the trend of female centric shows on Television was perhaps with a view that women are the major consumers and they needed a reason to draw the consumers to that. It was perceived women would identify with them and shows were perhaps written to represent the resilience of the women of the time. And connected they did and How!

Television became the medium to showcase what they wanted to see in society. Unlike now, it was not just showing the mirror of the society but providing a thought provoking solution.

Imagine the leads such as Shanti(Shanti), Svetlan(Swaabhimaan), Priya(Saans), Amrita(Alpviram), Kalyani Singh (Udaan), Priya(Kora Kagaz) and Rajini(Rajini) Such powerful women in the face of adversities.

Why did they work? (My interpretation only)

1. There was a solid story.

2.a. The finite series was well within the realm of the storyline and plot.

2.b. The shows were weekly hence, shooting, editing would give room for fewer errors.

3. The audience's intelligence was nit taken for granted or underestimated.

4. May not be a potent point. There was 1 - 2 channels and was self-regulated. Fewer competition, larger penetration, potential to make amendments and corrections.

Every single one of them have degraded over time.

Changing so many things at a time is tough. The easiest, perhaps is regulating what gets telecast.

Just the way I asked before, there is not regulatory body to stop, (if not for anything) misrepresentation of culture and traditions.

Also 90s people were very broad minded unlike 2000s and later

More women had work in india than now

Now only 25% have work 10th std and above

Even men were more mature i mean they acted like normal men not like anuj kaadiya at all jhoru ka ghulam

Somehow i feel after 2000s this ekta saas bahu serials have made audience like regressive

All shows are trying to show woamnn as super woman einsteins know all without having any qualification or education or exerience etc like how anupama hnadle kapadiya empire who do not know abc of english or maths or accounts etc

do we really think she can understand anything in file and approve it even MBA/CAs/BEs cannot easily find mistakes in accounts or projects but anupama 10th pass can? So lets make all 10th pass CEOs of company why study and do BE/MBA etc In 90s no such thing would shown as someone not knowing english too handling million dollar company and reading reports. Thats why 90s serial were much better actually they did not gorify person without reason or logic

And serials which how educated and logic like sony TV, colors shows etc have no TRPs

Originally posted by: myviewprem

All shows are trying to show woamnn as super woman einsteins know all without having any qualification or education or exerience etc like how anupama hnadle kapadiya empire who do not know abc of english or maths or accounts etc

do we really think she can understand anything in file and approve it even MBA/CAs/BEs cannot easily find mistakes in accounts or projects but anupama 10th pass can? So lets make all 10th pass CEOs of company why study and do BE/MBA etc In 90s no such thing would shown as someone not knowing english too handling million dollar company and reading reports. Thats why 90s serial were much better actually they did not gorify person without reason or logic

I am surprised that anupama is able to understand everything in business but she can't speak basic English . Makers are showing wrong thing that a women like anupam could handle international company like kapadia empire .

This is too wrong since we never saw her going to office

Why are we even wasting our time analysing an itv show and digressing to topics like women in abusive relationships, patriarchy, and gender pay parity etc...At the end of the day, it is just a stupid show that can neither inspire a homemaker nor a woman holding a coveted position in the corporate.

The story is simply an assorted collection of silly itv tracks tweaked as per the whims and fantasies of the makers. No logic. No social message. No women empowerment.

For now, Anupama is consistently ranking among the top 3 shows of the country minting lots of money for the channel and the makers! Hence, it will not go off air anytime soon and bring in more garbage tracks in the future! Not watching it on TV is the only thing we can do at an individual level if we do not want such shows to thrive!

YES..

And "masochism" is the synonym of "empowerment"...