ARSHI OS: Ek main aur Ekk tu

Arnav paced around his room in anger as the music drifted in the air and reached his ears.

If if only, his wife was not a perfect personification of "pagal". Today her "sankiness" had reached its heights. All thanks to her, their "suhaag raat" had become "shiv raat".

He shook his head as the song changed, "Wah wah Ramji, Jodi kya banayi".

What the? Why is this fellow even telling Ram that? Who is this Ram, in the first place? He had enough of those stupid songs they were singing, especially that good for nothing NK, who had suggested the whole idea of singing. Just as he thought of NK, his voice could be heard, "Dhoom Machale ghoom (dhoom)". How pathetic! Dhoom se Ghoom? His voice sounded like a rat caught in a trap. He decided to forcefully pull Khushi upstairs and went down.

"Khushi", he yelled only to have no one spare him an even small glance. It was just Khushi's appa who looked at him. His head swung between Arnav and Khushi, and he smiled as if laughing at his own personal joke. To add to the fire, that was burning in the form of Arnav, Shashi looked at the clock and he burst out laughing. Arnav's eyes widened. Of course he should be thinking, "Beta aaj apka suhaag raat hone waala tha, don't worry SHAYAD ho jayega kal. (Beta, today your first night was supposed to happen, don't worry, it will happen, but tomorrow hopefully.)".

Arnav held Khushi by her elbow and signaled her to come upstairs. Everyone had stopped and were rather intently looking at the two couple. "Khushi, upar ao. (Khushi come upstairs.)"

"Offo Arnavji, main busy hoon na. Aap dekh nahi sakthe ho? Aap bhi nachiye aur dhoom machayiye. (Offo Arnavji, I am busy. Can't you see? You also dance and enjoy yourself.)" For a moment, Arnav imagined himself to be in NK's place. He immediately shrugged off such bad thoughts and focused on the task at hand.

"What the? Are you drunk?"

"Haye Devi Mayya. Aap keh kya rahe ho? Aap apne kamare mein rehkar akele what the what the kehte rahiye. Aap ussi ke layak hain. (Haye Devi Mayya. What are you telling? You stay alone in our room and keep uttering what the what the. Your are fit for that only.)"

"Khushi don't test my patience."

"Arreh nannav mere bhai, take a chill pill and dance for Sheile Sheila ki dawaai (jawani)."

"What the? Dawaai?"

"Dawaai nahi nanheji, jawani."

"Oh oops. Wahi wahi. Come on man don't be a spoilsport. Shake a leg. At least Khushiji ko enjoy karne do. (At least allow Khushiji to enjoy.)"

This was followed by so many "haan chotte (yes chotte)" and a very insignificant number of "Khushi jao Arnav babua ke saath (Khushi go with Arnav babua)".

Arnav stomped his foot and went to his room, only to call Aman. "Hello Aman, I want the details of Mr. Shukla's deal, asap."

"Jii. But aaapki shaadi? (Yees. But your marriage?)", Aman stuttered. Of course who even asked him to breath a sigh of relief when ASR had decided to marry the second time. But he still wondered how bhabhi had decided to do the same mistake, again. He still couldn't fathom how one will voluntarily decide to go to the Lion's den, again.

"Aman, I promise to show you hell if you speak a word more. Get me Abhinav's file and your appraisal file too." Arnav smirked at as he delivered his third and final command. Ha, he could imagine that fellow sweating profusely.

"Yesss, sooon."

Arnav clicked his phone shut and opened his laptop, when the next song started, which he guessed was sung by buaji with the number of "hai re nandhakishore", it had.

He just wished to stuff a ton of cotton into his ears. The Almighty had blessed him with The craziest family in the world. He typed furiously and his anger was clearly evident in the way he was working.

This is exactly how Mrs. Raizada found him to be. She felt like smashing a vase on the laptop. Anjali looked at Khushi, who had stopped at the threshold of her room. "Khushiji?"

"Di, main aaj apke saath hi soungi (Di, I will sleep with you only)", she declared. "What the?" His wonderful reaction intensified her determination. She went to the bathroom to change her clothes, without giving Arnav a chance to respond or retaliate. She was angry and that was it. "Koi apne Suhaag Raat mein kaam karta hain kya? Karte hain na meri ajeeb sa Arnavji. Aur Devi Mayya aapko aaj hi yeh kaam unko yaad dilana tha? (Will anyone work on their first night? Oh my weird Arnavji does. And Devi Mayya, you had to remind him of this work today?)"

As she came out, she didn't spare a glance at Arnav. He held her hand and stopped her. "Khushi this is too much. Pehle poori raat, you all keep shouting in the name of singing and ab yeh? (First you all keep shouting the whole night in the name of singing and now this?)"

Khushi's mouth formed the perfect O, which made Arnav want to kiss the hell out of her. "Haaw Arnavji hum chilla rahe the? Aap aise kaise bol sakthe hain? Aap akele hi sahi. (Haaw Arnavji we were shouting? How can you tell like that? You are good being alone.)" With that she strode off to Anjali's room. NK, who was the mute spectator along with Aakash, came towards Arnav.

"Bhai apki first night aise Home oops Room Alone ho gaya? (Bhain your first night had to become Home oops Room Alone?)", the always meek and "Ji Payalji", spoke up.

One glare from Arnav, effectively shut Aakash up. "Nannav mere bhai, shall I give you my haat aaj raat ke liye?"

"Haat nahi saat, NK Bhai."

"OUT NOW!"

Arnav looked at his empty room and the Salman Khan poster. He tore it into half when he felt the poster mocking at him. "Kudh ki patni ko samhal nahi pa rahe ho. So, sochna math ki iss kaam se tu bade ho gaye ho. (You can't manage your own wife. So, don't think that by tearing me, you will become great.)" Arnav knew he had to something.

Khushi twisted and turned on the bed. She couldn't bear the torture any more. She was not KKGSR, for no reason. So, using all her might, she pushed it off and God, she succeeded. She thanked all her starts. She couldn't have slept with Di's leg on her thigh. She looked up, only to see an amused Arnav. "What the!", now it was her turn to go all "unbelievable". After All it does not happen everyday that the mighty ASR becomes Arnav and enters his Di's room and that too through the window.

Arnav wasted no time in dragging Khushi to their room. His recent stunt had forced her to remain stunned. The ASR in him had got to work and executed it to the T.

Arnav very diligently nodded and prayed in his mind that it was a sensible demand.

Khushi thought for sometime, before asking him to just arrange the accommodationS and tickets.

"See Arnavji, list bhi taiyyaar hain (See Arnavji, list is all ready.)", and she proudly showed him the list of places she had decided to visit. This was all that was needed to make Arnav lose his sleep in ANTICIPATION.

**

Arnav looked at the slippers around his feet and at the driver who was trying to control his laughter. Arnav cursed his wife yet again. Alas, the scene could not be changed and once "phassa diya" meant poori zindagi ke liye "caught". This had been his routine for the past ten days. Of course what else can Arnav do, if Khushi had planned a honeymoon for the "family"? He had to give her full 10/10 for her choice of place. What better way to spend one's honeymoon! Temples of South India! He wondered how brainy and intelligent his wife was and how stupid he was to have blindly trusted her choice.

He twisted his face in disgust as he imagined how the last five days of his family picnic would turn out to be. What else would he call it? A honeymoon? No way! That will be only over his dead body. Another added favour was sleeping with NK and Aakash. Perfect nights and poetical mornings. All Arnav had to do was keep a guard "Of their slippers". A fitting job for the CEO!

"Arnavji chaliye", his butterfly came out from the temple. If something was keeping him "sane" all this while, then it was his "happiness". He knew he would do anything to make her smile, laugh and be happy. He forced a smile and got into the car.

**

"Arnavji chaliye na."

Arnav looked at his crazy wife. Who the hell drags someone at the middle of the night and for "What" he was clueless?! "Where are we going Khushi?"

"Shhh ayiye. Bahut baath karte hain aap. (Shhh come. You speak a lot.)" Times have indeed changed.

***

"Kaisa laga aapko? (How did you like it?)"

Arnav was stunned. Of course, in a good way damn it! Not every time he has to get only dreaded "surprises". The arrangements were perfect and the surroundings smelt of nature. His Khushi had planned this for him. His heart swelled with love at that.

"Arnavji, I know you don't like coming to the temples, but you did come. So, this place and this room will be yours for the next five days. I love you Arnavji."

"Will you be mine to romance?"

She appeared confused and shook her head. "Why should I be here? Main to shopping karne ja rahi hoon. Sab ke liye karna hain na? (Why should I be here? I am going to do shopping for everyone.)"

"Excuse me?"

"Haan Arnavji you are excused. Par kis baat ke liye?"

Arnav Singh Raizada will be doomed if he allowed his very delectable wife to step out of the cottage. He cannot afford to have a row of mess-ups. Definitely, not a hat trick. He pulled his wife towards himself and whispered, "Simply because I am not planning to let you out and the excuse was sought beforehand."

Both are one of a kind, aren't they? Yet, they termed the other as weird.

**