Kaffara #4 (GEO) - Ali Ansari, Laiba Khan, Usman Peerzada - Page 50

Originally posted by: Schrute

And i really liked when tahir acknowledged taht mard apne pasandeeda aurat ke liye hi baldalta hai. It's not women's job to fix their partner. Like here sitara ne nahi badla use. Ne changed, realised his responsibilities becuase of her, so that she doesn't have to face problems. It was such a nice thing to do.. it was also a lesson for people like mehreen who suggested doosri biwi le aayenge to theek ho jaega. People just assume that gettinb their manchild of son married is the best thing they can do. That only girl can fix him. And that's why many women are struck with manchild entitled husbands.

Mehreen Ma'am, repeat after me. Girls are not rehabilitation centres. They are not therapists. They are not supposed to raise your man-child sons after you failed to raise them properly.

Originally posted by: roopshas1

Ughh. The rakhi case is a very very dicey situation actually. Technically speaking, you become siblings. Socially you will be considered sibling like. So that automatically disqualifies your rakhi sibling from being considered as an arranged marriage candidate. Like it is a common trope in ITV where a childhood male/female friend turns up, and ML/FL gets jealous and they turn out to be a rakhi brother/sister and then the ML/FL feels stupid and go back to being secure. A rakhi sibling lusting after the other rakhi sibling would be considered creepy.

Like if the parents do want to pair those kids in marriage later on, they will try to avoid any rakhi ceremony and some even go as far as avoiding addressing the other with Bhaiya honorific. Like make it clear to the kids, that there is a possibility of marriage there right from the beginning. Like two friends of mine, childhood friends, grew up together and have gotten married recently. Parents always had an eye out of the other kid as a potential spouse for their kid and so whenever there was Bhai Dooj or Raksha Bandhan, while the boy and the younger sister of the girl used to tie rakhi and celebrate, the duo was clearly told to avoid tying rakhi even though she used to go their house to celebrate. Poor things, they were teased about it ki dekho pati-patni aa rahein hain and all those things that kids do to tease others because that made it very clear to everyone that they are a potential match. Fortunately, they did end up liking each other and are now happily married.

On the other hand, it is very rare that actual rakhi siblings fall in love and start to date and want to get married. That is a whole circus in its own right because suppose you are rakhi siblings, you have to now break a sacred and social bond. I do believe sometimes it does happens. But it is rare and I think there must be some social or religious process to bypass that because frankly, the law does not forbid it. Legally, you are not related (you also tie rakhis to cousins and siblings, but that is a different case, we are talking about non-blood related rakhi siblings here who could have been eligible for marriage). But socially, ehhh. I dunno. I would be a bit weirded out though. Until and unless the rakhi ceremony was done at really young age and not followed up later on, that is somewhat still socially acceptable. But say you are rakhi siblings in teens and then you decide to date each other, that would receive a lot of side eyes.

In most cases though, rakhi siblings really mostly stay sibling like. They just have no chance with each other and mostly don't even try it. Yes, you can always count on your rakhi brothers to beat up a guy trying to harass you. Frankly, rakhi brothers, especially older ones, have as much social authority regarding chasing away unwanted suitors as own blood siblings or cousins do.

Got your point.. watching rakhi tradition in dramas in childhood always fascinate me..it feel good, to get a brother after tieing dhaga on his wrist. Parents k cousin ka bhi aesa hi hai ... allow hai..but not acceptable in culture.

Originally posted by: AAKMH2

Realy thats fun ..acha tell me can u wed a guy, if u tie a rakhi on his hand ever or in childhood...like brother friends etc?

I never knew u ppl had so restriction..than it must be odd fir u to watch ptvs

It was a bit strange initially. Like initially I could not understand why Salar was getting so angry over Salman helping Sitara. It really felt like he was interfering in a family matter to me. And then, I realised after that phone call from Canada to Salman that OMG, he is jealous of Salman. Like actually romantically jealous of Salman. Yes, Salman had his eye on Sitara but until an engagement is announced, in my mind, there were supposed to be sibling like, same like Ehtisham. So, it really baffled me to realise that no, Salar was territorial with Salman in regards to Sitara because he is socially a potential match for her. Other than that, I kind of switch off my sensibilities out here. I just take it as a feature of Pakistani society. Like different culture, different rules.

Geo is still earning view in the name of salar sitara...between posts on insta of its on going drama, dropping kaffara related posts. And the comparison between likes and views are insane.

Originally posted by: Queeen

yaa like nothing like suno chanda dada dying tou you gotta marry someone zabardasti kisi ki barat chali gyi tou shadi kara de kisi se ya like sharjeena jysa scene koi nhi hota.. most people are open minded they let their kids decide and some are extra so they will force their kids to merry according to them so 🤷

LMAO. Thank God. That baraat thing is so weird to me. Like twenty years ago, that may have been acceptable. Today? People will be weirded out if someone went out to marry someone, the bride or groom ran away or died and the other party just married the sibling. Like what even? Why?

That's why i hated kabhi makn kabhi tum's justification of sharjeena marrying mustafa just for saving faces. I mean they were better off, educated, even sharjeena had no obligations, but the very reasoning was off putting for what was supposedly modern romance. Aaj kal kon karta hai aise. Caily shows me i get plot badhane ke liye they use badkirdari and left at the alter wala plot, but shows with so much fjnds shouldn't use this trope.

I liked reading your discussions about marriages and cousin marriages.

One thing which made me surprised while watching Pakistani dramas is that cousin marriages are common. I thought only in villages and small towns cousin marriages are norm. But it turned out that even in cities cousin marriages are preferable.

3 of my siblings got married to their cousins. But this is because our parents are from a small town . In cities ppl tend to make different relationships and love marriages are common. That's why I thought the same is happening in Pakistan.

Originally posted by: AAKMH2

Aur if someone fall in love? Is this your culture pov or religion. It means there is rishta dekhna vgera procedure is must for you. What's the criteria than? Sicial status or city should be same?

Yaar hmare to koi long distant nikal aay, to khud hote hai...satisfy ho jaye hai. Aur wrse we prefer same caste .like punjabi wNts to wed punjabi, pthan to pthan..caste k bahir bhi kr lete hai

Hmm. If someone falls in love with their rakhi sibling, well, until and unless the parents are really adamant on not accepting the relationship, I mean, people elope right? Or they go to Varanasi and get some kind of tod, I dunno? I mean, legally you cannot stop them from marrying. Like even if they are Hindu cousins and register under Special Marriages Act, it is legally valid.

Then again, Hinduism is really flexible actually. Culture vs religion is rarely a thing because Hinduism literally is what you make of it. You want to believe in God. You can do that and there are scriptures to support it. You want not to believe in God or think God does not exist. The scriptures support that too. You want to do rituals and worship. The scriptures support that too. You think worship is nonsense. The scriptures support that too. You support only intracaste marriages. The scriptures support that. You want to disregard caste restrictions and criticise it. The scriptures support that as well. As I said, Hinduism itself is pretty flexible, both culturally and scripturally and religiously.

Rakhi does have scriptural origins but if you want to disregard rakhi, I am pretty sure there is some tod or something supporting that too. There are like preceeding examples like I just gave of Satyajit Ray and Bijoya. I mean it is just that I am not aware of it. That is all.

What happens is that the society is unfortunately rigid and full of narrow minded people who prefer to interfere, sometimes quite violently, in other people's lives and personal matters. That is why people prefer to stick to the status because they are afraid to upset the boat.

In my Bengali Hindu culture, caste is nowhere as rigid as North India (where cousin marriage is not allowed, sometimes violently so) or South India (where cousin marriages are allowed and sometimes done under family pressure). My family is from a liberal background and most of my friends and people I know are dating or dated and have steady relationships which turn into marriages. Arranged marriages also happen but they are a matter of choice. Parents are not really going to force you. Same caste is the first preference but if you find some one from more compatible from somewhere else then it is better to go ahead with that no? Social status should preferably the same. City, eh, that is a personal preference. Some prefer to stay in the same city as parents. Some want to move abroad. It is really a matter of choice and chance. Ethnicity (like language groups) is definitely a big thing. Like it is breaking down slowly but those are love marriages. Otherwise, like each ethnic groups will prefer their own language group, even above caste. Marathis will prefer Marathis, Bengalis will prefer Bengalis, Punjabis will prefer Punjabis. People also prefer to marry within their own religion. Cross-religion marriages are nearly always love marriages.

Originally posted by: Queeen

lmao yaa right in that circumstances maybe it is and salar felt k jo jo bhi es line main aa sakta hy oska pata I'll cut ✂️ 😄... salar was totally jealous of any guy that could have been considered for sitara so ya maybe he found him a threat lol cuz as she was an orphan and he might heve thought k eski family karwa na de eski ... and yes bachpan main too some aunties go like main apne beta ka rishta es ladki sy karon gi bade hoke esa ho zaroori nhi

LMAO. You are so right. He was like anyone who is eligible, iska patta kato.

Originally posted by: AAKMH2

Ok..so main issue is blood relation only... Ptv k drama dekhte hue to unka cousins linkignore hi krte ho it must be difficult to watch. .jese some time while reading I come across some fanfics, step bro or sis..that was full stop for me..i couldnt proceed

Seriously, that is so creepy. I mean, step-siblings are still siblings. What even? Why would someone even fantasise about that?