Originally posted by: roopshas1
LMAO at Mehreen saying within one day, this girl had shown her stars and I was like "Madam, it has not even been 24 hours as yet."
Even I wish that Salar and Sitara would have spent the initial few days in Nani's. It would have been peaceful and these two could have had the peace and privacy they needed. But I think the decision to bring Sitara to Salar's parents' house right after the wedding has a lot to do with South Asian/desi post-marital rituals and socio-familial dynamics.
Salar's parents have not stopped him from getting married (or rather they can not stop because he is so self-willed). They however have rejected recognising his bride as the rightful DIL of the family/house. One thing you have to understand about South Asia is that patrilineal joint family is the norm no matter the money or status. Even if the couple is living apart from the parents, it is usually done under certain "respectable" "reasons" such as relocating to another city for career, closeness to office if the commute is too long, better schools/facilities for children. Even then, it is not considered "good" if your family is living in the same city and has plenty of room for the young and growing couple. You can see an in-show example of it - the very thought of her son and his wife moving to the upper floor of the same house (I emphasise the very same house) is already causing Najma palpitations. Because society views it as a divided family and a divided family is neither supposedly happy nor socially palatable.
Neither Salar nor his family regardless of their money or status is free of this social norm either. While on a surface level it may seem right to ask why would Salar and Sitara even go to his parents house where their marriage is not being accepted nor are they having any peace of mind, the unfortunate truth is that is the right thing to do. Salar's parents' rejection of his marriage and any lack of social acknowledgment of it means that essentially they are trying to delegitimize his marriage, effectively keeping him "open" regardless of his own consent to parents contracting another marriage under the idea that the "first" marriage meant nothing. That it is a mistake, a youthful dalliance. That it does not matter if he already has a wife, she is essentially a social pariah and has no social rights to membership within the family. Unfortunately, Salar's parent were already trying to do that when they were trying to convince Sahiba that it meant nothing. They tried to save face in front of Salar and Sitara by stating that they were just being sympathetic (which is ironic considering Sahiba is NOT Salar's fiancee by any standards of social norms, there has been no roka, no shagun exchange, no rings, no proposal while Sitara is Salar's legally and religiously married wife) but the truth is had Sitara not introduced herself as the wife then and there, they would have kept trying to insist that she is just a dirty secret/youthful dalliance for their son and tried to maintain that engagement on the grounds that only Sahiba will be the true DIL of the family.
Salar's Nani is correct in forcing through this matter actually. Even if Salar himself wanted to choose peace over any social acknowledgement, the fact that even he gave in should tell you about the gravity of the social situation. He is not enjoying this. Not at all. But if by fighting for a few days and forcing his parents to acknowledge his marriage with Sitara, if he can get his parents to host the walima for Sitara, it essentially means that publicly they have acknowledged Sitara as the DIL of the family. That not only gives her and any children that Salar has with her the social protection of the family name but also stops them from snatching away social rights away from Sitara and their children in case anything happened to him. A walima hosted by his grandmother does not extend the same social acknowledgement and protection and even Salar knows that.
On a micro-scale though, Salar is forcing his parents to acknowledge Sitara's existence and their marriage by staying under their roof, as correctly according to desi norms. The married couple should be welcomed into the ancestral house after rukhsati and the fact that his parents have refused to officially welcome her in any capacity (not even look at her, let alone acknowledge her verbally, a distant cry from her rightful muh-dikhayi where she should have been gifted something by her MIL and introduced to their social peers by the MIL) is already a sore point for both Salar and Sitara. Once married, Salar's room in the house is actually Salar and Sitara's room in the house. The fact that his mom strolled into his (now their) room to insult his bride right after the wedding night shows that she makes no acknowledgement of her son and his bride's right to marital privacy, even on the morning after the wedding night. The rituals of the morning after the rukhsati, that is, the breakfast being brought by the bride's family and the bride and the groom then visiting her home for lunch, is already being done poorly or not done at all, further heckling the newly married couple's nerves. To some it may not seem much if you take into consideration that both their families are horrific, but a straight up rejection like this is painful even for both Salar and Sitara. To their credit, Tahir is increasingly inclined to acknowledge Sitara as DIL even if it is only for the peace of the house. He will fold soon and once he does, as the patriarch of the family, walima will follow regardless of Salar's mother's wishes.
One thing I have to say is that it is Salar and Sitara's social right to be in that house. I do not think Salar has any plans to live with his parents especially since he now has Sitara. But he needs to do it until the walima for the bare minimum. It is already taking a toll on everyone involved. The walima if done by his parents essentially ensures that Sitara is socially recognised as his wife regardless of any one's opinions on the matter and that is what he is working towards. I also believe that Salar is already planning to move out with Sitara, once the walima is done. Salar already mentioned that he has 5-6 properties in his name as invested in by his parents (one of which is in DHA, Phase 8 in Karachi and he gave that one away to Salman). Sitara essentially can pick any one for them to live in and he will be more than happy to oblige whichever one holds her fancy. But they need to hold on till walima for the social acknowledgement.
Honeymoon or mini-honeymoons happen usually after walima/reception in desi weddings. Usually so because during post-wedding till reception, there is some ritual or the other going on. You do not actually get even a moment's respite sometimes. After reception, however, all the wedding guests return home and usually no more rituals to follow (some cultures still do have some) and that allows them to then have a honeymoon (or mini-honeymoon if they still have some rituals) in peace.
Thank you for explaining the South Asian culture regarding joint family and social norms.
Even her in Yemen. Same joint family system is followed in many places where families have big houses, and where ppl are more traditional. Here in my city : Aden. Houses are small.. and financially it is impossible to keep the joint family system. But in my hometown ..still ppl get their sons married and live with them in the same house . Sometimes they give them seperate flat in the same building, where they can enjoy some privacy.
Yes. Society is important in Asian houses. I respect this fact, coz it keeps the norms which holds families togather.. it decreases extramarital rates, and gives women their rights as wives and their children are rised in the same household, where they grow up respecting the family ties ..and understanding the importance of our culture.
I don't want Salar and Sitara to live seperately. I want Salar's parents to accept Sitara. Salar is their only son. And they need him to support them when they get older.
True that this is common amongst Asian cultures. Less so in East Asia but still common. 
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