Originally posted by: return_to_hades
I don't know why people are so fixated that Alia was pregnant before marriage. Also, you don't HAVE to marry if you're pregnant. Alia makes enough to be a single mom. Heck, Neena Gupta did it way back. And abortion is also legal in India.
Pregnancy is one of the dumbest reasons to get married.
I don't think it's so linear. It's easy to dismiss someone's view and say you don't have to get married just because you're pregnant, which objectively is a no-brainer and should be drilled into women from young age, but sadly that is not how things work. Women and mostly show biz women do not marry solely for financial stability. They marry for security, social standing, for their children to inherit a famous last name, and many other reasons. Why does Kajol, who I'm pretty sure is self sufficient herself, stays married to a cheating Ajay? Or Twinkle (who actually is so opinionated) stay married to Akshay? They stay married for reasons other than money. There are very few good marriages in Bollywood, that too only started in recent times, with couples like Kat-Vicky, Sid-Kiara, to an extent Anushka-Virat.
It's interesting that you brought up Neena Gupta. She's indeed very very brave but the fact is she's had such a tough time that she felt suicidal in the past about her decision. She of course couldn't marry Viv Richards because a) it was a fling b) he was already married with 2 kids. She kept it all under wraps even after Masaba was born. She was outted by a famous journalist, Pritish Nandy, who stole Masaba's birth certificate from the hospital and leaked her father's name to the media like it was a breaking story. Before that nobody knew who the father was, there were speculations only. This all happened in the 80s but indian society has not changed much even to this day. There are many vultures like Nandy ready to pluck at the scab for media attention. Neena was asked in an interview if given a chance would she do over raising a child out of wedlock, and she said she wouldn't. She had an unbelievably tough time and although she was open with Masaba about her father, there was still loss of father's love. The point is not that woman can't raise but that they are driven to sticking out in their marriages because of societal pressure. Brave ones like Neena dare the opposite but they are subjugated to lifetime of humiliation, scheming, and lose significant years of their life.
I'm not advocating that women should stay in loveless marriages or they should hastily marry cos they are pregnant. Just that I understand when some women stick it out because they are not brave/have resources/lack support. It's easy to be dismissive without having lived the experience. We can write all we want but how many of us would do it? Earnestly? It's scary af and not everyone is cut out of the same cloth.
Edited by ohophelia - 10 months ago
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