Almost 50, but looks like he is already 60 🥳
All over the world Kela is considered some kind of icon. Go to Nigeria and ask anyone what they know about bollywood? They will all answer: I know Shahrukh Khan. Some cheesy corny boring movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge have made Kela the most popular Bollywood actor worldwide. Salman Khan? Do they know him in Russia? No. Amir Khan? Do they know him in Turkey? No. But do they know Shahrukh Khan? YES. Moroccan and Egyptian girls go crazy about Shahrukh Khan and his big nose and his lame movies, but in India it will always be Salman Khan. Why? Cuz we Indian girls like dominant men. Shahrukh Khan is anything but dominant. Reellife or Reallife he is and will always remain a:
Kela born in 1965 claims to have lived in poverty. He still managed to enroll in the National Islamic University to pursue a Masters Degree in Mass Communications. Paisa jaye bhaad me though because even after paying the college fees he decided to quit because he wanted to become an actor (READ: He was too lazy to study and thought why waste my time to become a hardworking journalist that will never make as much money as an actor) 🤢 Quitting his studies turned out to be a masterstroke...but first he decided to marry some Gauri. That sounds like a pretty girl right? Reality:
Well it's not like our Kela is the prettiest...let's be honest: He looks like a monkey:
No wonder that he struggled so much before becoming the world famous actor he is today. After getting rejected a lot of times Kela decided to see whether he can bag a role on television. And he succeeded 👏 with Fauji. That stupid soap earned our Kela critical acclaim and eventually movie offers. No turning back since then...Deewana, Baazigar, Darr, Anjaam, Karan Arjun, Zamana Deewana made Kela a big star in India. Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge made him a big star overseas. Pardes, Dil To Pagal Hai, Duplicate, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, K3G, Devdas, KHNH, Main Hoon Na, Veer-Zaara, Don, Chak De India, Om Shanti Om, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, Chennai Express...let's admit it...ugly...kela...full of himself...
BIGGEST STAR OF INDIAN CINEMA
Like you all can see I went through his filmography and I just realised I have seen almost all of his movies. Even the crappy ones like English Babu Desi Mem, Baadshah, Josh, Swades etc.
Reactions from his celebrity pals and frenemies and family members:
He hasn't invited me for his birthday.
I saw the invitation he sent Arbaaz bhai. It's going to be a big bash. There will be kebab and kheer and chocolate cake and my favorite biryani. I won't be getting anything so how can I wish him a happy birthday? I'm just glad he is almost two months older than me. Woh toh hamesha pehle buddha hoga. Maybe I'll send a gift to him
. Arre I don't need that myself mein toh abhi fit hoon
I lead a very healthy lifestyle. I quit smoking years ago and drink green tea. Woh saala toh hamesha cigarette lekar chalti phirti hai. 🤢 I heard his movie Bad New Year is flopping? Some Sana girl sent me an invitation for a Bad New Year Flop Party. Can't remember kab hai party 😕 Arre chal ab...wish nahin karenge.
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It's Shahrukh's birthday? Kiran jaan, why didn't you tell me? I feel embarassed now I didn't know he was born on this day. I don't even know how old he is. 49??? Yeh kaise mumkin hai? I thought 16 years was the maximum yaar? But it's okay we will celebrate and give him some extra food. Happy Birthday my friend Shahrukh. You're the greatest 😳
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We used to be really great friends. I remember when he first came to Mumbai and didn't have a home yet...I let him stay at my house. Kalyug? No yaar he was with Gauri. I was a pretty beautiful girl. He looks a bit funny with those lips and nose. My husband is much better looking than him yaar:
DEADLY JODI:
❤️
I'm sorry to say but me and Shahrukh are no longer friends. The fame changed him. He has become a douchebag. But I still like to wish him a very happy 55th birthday. I'm not invited to his bash otherwise I might have patched up with him. He didn't become 55? 49? But I remember when he was at my house he told me has was born in 1959
But if he believes he is 49 theek hain
Only 49?
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Shahrukh is my childhood crush. I used to be dreaming about him. I had decorated my bedroom with wallpapers and pictures of him. Every night before I went to sleep I used to kiss his pictures goodnight.
Can you imagine my delight when I got the chance to work with him? 😊 I was hoping we could maybe start an affair. But that buri aurat Priyanka was having fun with him. He was busy with two women already so he had no place in his life for me. That's why I started to date Ranbir/Ranveer, but my heart will always belong to my Shahrukh. On the sets he makes me feel like a princess. He's so adorable. Sometimes I can't help but fantasize about him and me and AbRam as our child. We would make a lovely family.
. I don't think it will happen though. I do really like Abram. Age difference between us is less than 30. When he is 20 I will be 48. I'm sure it will be common by that time that older women date younger men. I will wait for AbRam. He already looks like his dad:
He's too cute yaar. Aryan? I tried, but he has seen me romance his dad onscreen. So I think he wouldn't be comfortable dating me 😭 Huh? I still have to wish him? Sorry yaar, I forgot. Happy Birthday Shahrukh. Wish you remain a top actor for many many years. Please don't work with Katrina ever again. Choose me. I Love You. And Big Kiss to Abram mwah. What will I gift him? A tattoo of his name on my arm obviously 😳
Kela's response:
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We were shooting for Don in Germany. I'm a young beautiful woman. He is a handsome rich intelligent sensible powerful man. We were meant to become one
The problem wasn't his wife. She didn't really mind. But he has mean children.I'll tell you they are like little rascals.
Kiddos
They found out we were having fun together. After they found out they made my life a living hell yaar. Eventually they forced their dad to choose Gauri over me. They have even forbidden him to work with me 😭 With who will I work now? Salman thinks I'm old and ugly, Amir and Saif think we won't look good together. The newbies think I'm too old. So now I'm doing female oriented movies. 😭 Except Fashion they all flop. 😭 Birthday bash? I didn't get an invitation. I'm going to miss out on all the fun. I know Salman won't go there either. Maybe I can have a drink with him and seduce him and get pregnant of him? Don't look at me like that
My movies and music it all flops. I don't have a man in my life and I'm not getting any younger. Mein kya karoon 😭
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The party continues...later
Edited by ILoveFERNANDO - 9 years ago
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