i tried to write something senti...hope u guys cry little😆
'100 rupees.'' Said the flower seller aunty. The man took out his wallet and give her 500 rupees note. She took the money and about to give change.
'its ok.'' He said softly and went ahead...toward the graveyard. The aunty sighed, suddenly an unknown sadness gripping her.
'woh aise humesha ata har, har Friday ko, humesha orchid leta hain, aur graveyard mein jata hain... kitne sad lagta hain...bohot love karta hoga usse. God unke spirit ko shanti de.'' She prayed in her mind, both hand folded to the almighty.
He entered the graveyard, and went to the familiar way... to the furthest corner of graveyard. Like a robot, he went toward the grave and sat on the grassy ground. He touched the marble, and a lone tear escaped her eyes and fell on the marble.
At the same time, the rain started to fall, like god has created to wash away his pain. He closed his eyes, not in relief, but in agony and guilt. He felt like someone is strangling his throat...he cant breath.
He opened his eyes, and looked at the name...a loving sister, a loving friend, a wonderful daughter, Riya D'costa, DOB 14 march 1989, DOP 22 june 2011, you left us in a young age, left us in pain and tears. may god rest your soul in peace.
His eyes filled when he saw the words, "a loving friend...'' yes she was a loving friend. So loving that she sacrificed her love for him...for a man who dont deserve any happiness.
Toh phir aao mujhko satao...
Toh phir aao mujhko rulao...
He still remember the first time they met...during his college. He was an exchange student in California University. She was like the girl come out straight from hindi films, bubbly, fun loving, always smiling, talkative...she would not stop talking at all. And the best part was, she was not afraid of his glares. Her eyes were always sparkling, always speaking more than her lips. He dont know when, but they became friends. She become his best friend, who knows his every action, his mind, what will be his next action, what he thinks, what he believes, everything. It was like he was an open book in front of her, fully exposed, like she had known him forever.
The tears came out more from his eyes, merged with the rain drops. Her face, her smile, her words, her mischief, her beauty, her innocence, her sadness...all flashed in front of him like a movie, like a beautiful incomplete movie.
Dil badal bane, aankhe behne lagi
Aahen aise uthen, jaise aandhi chalen
Toh phir aao mujhko satao...
Toh phir aao mujhko rulao...
Aa bhi jao -
He still remembered the day when she said those 3 words...it was the last day of their university session. He was so excited to tell her the biggest news of his life, and she was like always, talking and talking and not letting him finish. She climbed on the car, and he was scared and concerned...what if she fell and hurt herself?
'neeche aao Ri.''
'shhh...let me speak...'' she said mischievously, her finger on her lips signaling him to shut up. He stood like an obedient guy, observing now what she will do, or say.
'I LOVE YOU ARJUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!'' she shout on top of her voice, like she want to let it know to the whole world. The color from his face drain away, and he looked at her shockingly. She? Loves him? When how why?
She looked at his face, expecting his answer, her eyes still sparkling. He helped her climb down from car, and make her stand on feet.
'Ri, me and you...i dont feel like that for you.''
Her face was pale, and the smile faded on her lips. She stared at me like that...and i felt so guilty. Suddenly she took some steps backward. I was concerned.
'its ok...give me some time, i will be okay.''
And with that, she left me...she left me all alone in the road. I didnt see her next day, not during we got our certificates or farewell party. I tried to call her so many times...she didnt pick up my calls. I went to her hostel the day when i was coming back to India, but i came to know she left for India ahead of me. I didnt have her address, nor her new cell phone no. I felt like everything ended, i felt so guilty for hurting her badly. But at the same time i felt so pain...how could she leave me like that? She was my best friend...how could she do this to me?
Gum le ja tere, jo bhi tune diye
Ya phir mujhko bata, inko kaise sahen
Toh phir aao mujhko satao...
Toh phir aao mujhko rulao...
Aa bhi jao -
It was 6 months since i came back to India, and my marriage was fixed with the girl i loved since childhood. But nothing was same...my mind was always in University campus, with her...i always busy to think where is she, how is she, is she so hurt by me? Is she angry on me? Many questions...but there were no answer.
It was the day when the family priest fixed the marriage date...5 days from now. I was not feeling anything, no happiness, or excitement. I was lost...my mind, my soul, everything was lost.
I was in my office, when i got a call.
'Mumbai arahi hoon...will u pick me up from airport?'' her voice was full of energy as usual. Riya?
'waise mujhe tumhara ghar dhoondne mein problem nahi hogi...but thought to ask, akhir best friend hoon tumhari. Itna to duty banti hain to pick me up, samjhey, ya samjhaoon?''
That i was happy would be understatement. She called me? After so many days? She coming here? Wow...
Relief flushed through my system, and i dont know after how many days, i smiled...i genuinely smiled, not forced.
'ARJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'' she came running toward me and hugged me tight in airport lounge. All were staring at us, but we didnt care. She is fine, safe, with me...this is like a dream.
'sorry sorry sorry...i should have come earlier, but shaadi ke 5 days pehle arahi hoon...but ab aa gayi na? Dekhna kitni rocking hogi tumhari shadi!'' she said in her usual energetic way. The full way toward home, she asked me many questions, about the girl i love, about my family, how the preparations were going on and so many things. I could not help but sighed in relief, she had moved on, but there was tiny bit of sadness to...she moved on?
Like always, she make my family her own in mere 1 hour. My family adored her, my mom took care of her like her own daughter, and she was...always busy with preparations. Everything was perfect...and it was the night of sangeet. She danced with everyone, congrats me and my would be wife, made it most memorable night of my life...my happiness was full complete.
It was 1 day before my marriage...every rituals was done, and i was about to get married in 1 day! Another girl was coming into my life...this feeling is both happiness and nervous.
'nervous?'' she asked me. I nodded and sighed.
'me too.'' She said, her face like mask of pain. But she hid it well, and i kept wondering what was that about?
It was my wedding day. In 2 hours, my days of bachelor will be over, and someone else will enter my life, to complete me. All were focused on me, how do i look, am i ready, teasing me mercilessly. All were there...but not her...i asked many people where was she, but none know.
I was in balcony, we were leaving for marriage place in 30 minutes. The final preparations were going on, but my eyes were searching her only. Where is she?
Wait...she is leaving? My eyes fell on the entrance gate, and saw a girl in white lehnga leaving. She is leaving? How can she do this to me, again? I ran behind her, all were shocked and asking me where am i going, but i didnt answer...i ran behind her, her image only in my head.
'Ri...'' i shouted. She froze in track, and turned. She was surprised, but closed her eyes like "i know it will happen" way.
'you are leaving me again?'' i could help but notice how hyper i was. She opened her eyes, eyes red with unshed tear.
'i cant do this anymore...watching you becoming someone else's with every ritual...it still hurts.'' Her voice cracked, and i felt my heart sinking.
'i thought you...''
'i thought it too...but you know this morning when i woke up, when i realised shit you are about to get married...i could not handled it. I should not have come here...what was I thinking?'' she hid her face behind her palm, and I felt miserable...for seeing her break down, for seeing her crying for me. Shit! What have i done?
'i still love you...i didnt move on ever...i thought i was...i am so sorry arjun...shit!'' she cursed herself, and i felt this is so wrong...she should curse me, not hers.
'Ri...'' i was about to say something, but suddenly there was a loud noise of truck. She also opened her eyes in sudden noise, and saw behind me.
The truck was coming straight to us, the driver shouting , 'move...the break is failed...move"
Everything was going like a fast forward video, but i wish i could have rewind it too...some seconds earlier, she was crying and cursing, and in other second, she was there, in road, blood all over her, taking last breath.
The time literally stopped for me. I just continued to stare, unable to move...she raised her hand, to hold me for last time, but my limbs refused to move. She looked at me, a tear escaped her eye, and then her eyes slowly closed, and hand was on the road, with a thud.
I dont know after how much time i moved. I fell near her and hold her so close to me, trying to listen to her breath, her heart beat, any tiny movement, that could tell me she is ok, she is alive...but there was nothing. I called her so many times, i shook her so many times, i begged, pleaded, i shouted, again pleaded...but she didnt respond me back. She was gone...forever...
Abb toh iss manjar se, mujhko chale jana hai
Jin raho pe mera yar hai, unn raho ko mujhse pana hai
Toh phir aao mujhko satao...
Toh phir aao mujhko rulao...
Aa bhi jao -
I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and come out from my flash back of past. It was the security guard of graveyard.
'jane ta waqt ho gaya sahab.'' He said, a sad smile in his lips, holding the umbrella tight. The rain was still going on, and it was nearly evening. I looked at the last time to her grave, and slowly moved up. I walked toward the entrance, and continued to walk toward a unknown direction, didnt bother for my car.
I didnt marry. I could not marry...i had heard when u lose someone special in your life, u come to know about their value. Same happened with me. I knew she was very precious for me, but i know her real place in my life. She was not just my best friend, or just a girl who fell in love with her BFF. She was...she was my soul. Do i love her? I dont know...but without her, i am not the same anymore. I am not leaving my life, i am just breathing, seeing days passing. I am stuck in time, and i dont want to move.
I wish she came back again...so that i can breathe properly, so that i can see her for a last time, hear her talks, feel her warmth...just a last time.
Toh phir aao mujhko satao...
Toh phir aao mujhko rulao...
Aa bhi jao -
so was it senti or not?
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