Mineil SS- "Phir Milenge" part 7 last part on pg 13 updt 21/05/21 - Page 5

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Anj_01 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#41

Part 3

“Who are you?” Neil asked after sometime.

The girl laughed loudly then suddenly stopped. She was angry....very angry. With burning eyes and evil smile she saw him and spoke, “Main....chudail hoon.”


Neil kept looking at her with his mouth open. Her shrill voice rang in his ears again.


“Main chudail hoon.”


The way she was looking at him as if will eat him up any moment, any guy would have ran for his life but Neil was still standing there like a statue.


“Oh my dear God! I didn’t know chudails are so beautiful. What am I thinking? I should run from here. But why my legs are not moving? Why I want to go closer to this chudail? Have I lost my mind?”


Neil was lost in thoughts when chudail started to walk towards him slowly. Neil took few steps back until he bumped into a pillar. Chudail screamed and marched towards him as if to attack and Neil closed his eyes in fear.


He waited for the attack, a punch, a lightening bolt or something like that but it never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see the chudail again. She was standing close to him. He kept looking at her wide eyes and then something happened which he never expected. Chudail started to laugh like a maniac.


“Oh God! Look at your face. You have gone pale. You look terrified.” She kept laughing. “But I must say, you have really lasted very long. Generally people run away the moment they see me here or hear my voice. Some brave hearts even dare to come face to face but run away when I say that, ‘Main chudail hoon’ dialogue.” She kept laughing hysterically.


Now Neil was all confused. Who was she? After laughing her heart out the girl finally stopped and looked at Neil’s confused face.


“Chill! I am not some chudail. I am just an ordinary girl.” She replied.


“What are you doing here in these ruins and what was that chudail drama?” Neil asked getting grip on his feelings.


“I am Manreet Kaur. I have come here from Delhi. I have relatives here. I wanted to get away from city life for sometime so came to this village. Here I found about this haunted haveli and I was curious to find out whether any chudail lives here or not so I came here. I really liked the place. Its beautiful. I found it perfect for my riaaz...singing practice you know...so I started coming here daily.” The girl shared her story.


“Okay...you really...really scared me for sometime Manjeet...sorry Manpreet....oh sorry...whats your name? Neil asked.


“Forget it. You can call me Minni. Short and sweet.” Manreet smiled at him.


“So since when you are playing this chudail game here Minni?” Neil laughed.


“Its been almost a month now.” Minni replied.


“Whoa! A month. You have been on a long vacation.” Neil commented.


“A month is nothing....It feels like I am here since ages.” Minni replied all lost in her thoughts.


“Sorry, what did you say?” Neil asked.


“Nothing...this place seems familiar...thats it.” She replied quickly. “You tell me about yourself. Who are you? What are doing here and what made you interested in seeing chudail?” Minni laughed again.


“I am Neil Oberoi. I am from Mumbai and I am a painter. Our reason for coming here are same. I heard story from a villager and came here out of curiosity. Dont know why but when I saw this place for the first time yesterday I felt a strange pull towards it. I couldn’t stop myself from coming here. Something in my heart told me to visit this place. Actually from sometime I have lost my inspiration. Whatever I paint, it just not upto the mark. So I am on my journey of self discovery...I want to rekindle that magic again. I dont know why but I thought I could find something interesting, something to inspire me here.” Neil shared his story.


“Hmm, a painter who has lost inspiration. Your case seems quite interesting Mr. Oberoi.” Minni replied.


“You can call me Neil. Mr. Oberoi sounds too formal and business like. Even my curator dont call me Mr. Oberoi.” Neil said casually.


“So Neil, what do you think about this place now?” Minni asked.


“Its nice...beautiful. Seems like it holds so many memories in itself...I can almost feel the warmth of love and coldness of something....something...severe...sinister. God knows who lived here? What kind of experiences it nurtures in its womb.” Neil shared his philosophical take on haveli.


“You are the first person who has seen beyond the beautiful carvings, paintings, fungi covered walls of this place. This place has a soul, soul of its own, its own stories to tell but unfortunately no one has time to listen it. People are busy labelling it as haunted place where a chudail roams punishing everyone whoever dares to enter here.” Minni shared her views.


Neil looked at her. Minni suddenly looked very gloomy. As if she can feel the pain of haveli. As if she knows something more in detail about the prevalent chudail story. Like she belonged here.


“Wow, you seem to know much more that that stupid chudail theory. Can you share it with me?” Neil asked.


Minni took a deep breath as if contemplating whether she should tell anything to this stranger or not? Its been a long time she has kept everything bottled up. Nobody cared to ask her. Apart from that, this guy seems nice or else nobody would have dared to stay this long in this wretched place. There is a certain aura around him which makes him trustworthy. Isn’t it? She was searching her heart for an answer.


“Isnt your judgement always have been bad? How much will you suffer because of your malleable heart?” She asked herself.


“But...dont know why after a longtime I want to chat with someone. There is something in him...in his eyes. He seems a nice guy.” She answered for herself.


“Hey! Where are you lost Minni madam? Its ok if you dont want to share anything....” Neil said but he couldn’t complete the sentence.


“I will tell you the story. But not now...not today. I am already late. I have been here for quite some time now. I have to go back or else my people will be worried about me. We can talk tomorrow. Is it ok?” Minni asked.


“Ya, of course. Sure. Will meet tomorrow.” Neil replied as he looked at the surroundings. Its been afternoon already. He didn’t realize since how long he had been chatting with Minni.


“Ok, I think I should also leave now. Shall we walk together to the gate?” Neil asked.


“No...actually...I have left some of my belongings in backyard. I have to pick it up so...you go...I am just coming in a while.” Minni replied and turned to go towards the backyard.


Neil went towards the main gate of the haveli then he realized that he forgot his jacket inside. He again went inside and picked up his jacket. For a moment he thought of checking on Minni so he went to the backyard but there was no one.


“Seems like she left. But...from where? I was at the main entrance and I didn’t see her coming out. May be there are more gates in this haveli. She must knew about it. She is coming here since a month after all.” Neil concluded and left from there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


to be continued....

N_sharmaa thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#42

Mini character is very mysterious.😉 who is she ? Looks like she is truly Maya here . Who will disappear soon making Neil go crazy for his prerna .

N_sharmaa thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#43

Be it ajeeb or cliche like you said but right now you have maintained mystery around Mini's character👍🏼 . knowing your skills am sure you will try to give full justice to it .

su_94 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#44

Neil is attracted to Mini . Mini is one fishy character. 🤔 why she is doing all this ? You have kept the mystery . Nicely written. Could imagine, suspense, tension around . Interesting... looking forward.

Edited by su_94 - 3 years ago
Krithzz thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#45

Mini is lying 🤔she is staying there from long time . Mini will be like mystery for Neil .like title says phir milenge. She will disappear soon from his life right ? This Mini looks different . Hope you have planned some twist , mystery.

zalima thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#46

Shall we walk together to the gate?🤣

Haan haan Neil Oberoi🤣

Chalu hogaya iss ka🤣

Painter ke dil mein holi hai☺️ hone laga🤣


Ye Mini kabh se tent laga ke baithi hai ?

Golmaal hai bhai

Neil pehli nazar mein clean bowled

Issi liye sab sach samajh baita

Lagta hai mini ka koi nahi hain

Mini kisi mission ke liye yahan aayi hai ?

Kya usse Neil jaise aadmi ka wait tha ?

Kyun ?

Ek pura woh 80 wala haveli suspense wala feel de raha tha.



Abh roz mini kahani sunayegi Neil ko 😉

Colourful prerna banegi Neil ke life mein

Aur ek din achanak se gayab hogi

Lekin phir milegi ek din

Sawal ka jawab shayad uss waqt milega Neil ko



Krithzz thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: zalima

Shall we walk together to the gate?🤣

Haan haan Neil Oberoi🤣

Chalu hogaya iss ka🤣

Painter ke dil mein holi hai☺️ hone laga🤣


Ye Mini kabh se tent laga ke baithi hai ?

Golmaal hai bhai

Neil pehli nazar mein clean bowled

Issi liye sab sach samajh baita

Lagta hai mini ka koi nahi hain

Mini kisi mission ke liye yahan aayi hai ?

Kya usse Neil jaise aadmi ka wait tha ?

Kyun ?

Ek pura woh 80 wala haveli suspense wala feel de raha tha.



Abh roz mini kahani sunayegi Neil ko 😉

Colourful prerna banegi Neil ke life mein

Aur ek din achanak se gayab hogi

Lekin phir milegi ek din

Sawal ka jawab shayad uss waqt milega Neil ko




Neil have to be smart 🤣 nor Anjali will leave without making him one🤣

Anj_01 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: N_sharmaa

Mini character is very mysterious.😉 who is she ? Looks like she is truly Maya here . Who will disappear soon making Neil go crazy for his prerna .


yes she is mysterious but she can be cliche too. Beware, dont get hopes high🤣

Anj_01 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#49

Originally posted by: N_sharmaa

Be it ajeeb or cliche like you said but right now you have maintained mystery around Mini's character👍🏼 . knowing your skills am sure you will try to give full justice to it .


actually this story I wrote when i recently took a month's break because of bholu and other things....that was sort of tough time and I was missing wiritng but couldnt concentrate on on going story so came up with this. This is not my best work. To be honest I am not satisfied with it.

Ruhani ishq story many people didnt like because of Mini's charcater being 80's heroine but I was satisfied with it as a writer but this story....i dont know how it turned out actually.

Anj_01 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: su_94

Neil is attracted to Mini . Mini is one fishy character. 🤔 why she is doing all this ? You have kept the mystery . Nicely written. Could imagine, suspense, tension around . Interesting... looking forward.


Mystery will be revealed soon

she is fishy though😆

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