I finally caught up with the show, and it is making me furious! More than anything, I think what's happening in the show bothers me even more because it's actually depicting reality - the only time I wish it wouldn't. Go figure. These characters are making me sick, but the sad thing is that characters like Sikandar, his mother and Kiran's mother actually exist in society. Especially in our society.
Instead of realizing his mistake and asking for forgiveness, Sikandar rationalizes his behavior as something that is Kiran's fault. If she hadn't done this, said this, behaved this way, I wouldn't have done that. But what Adnan said in this week's episode is so right - do not raise your hand on your wife regardless of anything. Big or small. Her fault or your fault. Anything. Don't do it. Because once you cross that line, you will cross it again. You will lose respect for each other. You will scar her for life. Your relationship will never ever ever be able to go back to the way it was.
Kiran's reaction is justified. In fact, I think her reaction could have been much more vocal. But Sikandar, Sikandar's mother and Kiran's mother are truly driving her crazy. That is the problem with our society. They make innocent girls like Kiran go crazy by making them believe these things are normal and they are just overreacting. They force them to stay in such marriages and don't ever think of coming back home because that's what respectable girls do. They allow themselves to be disrespected by others and lose any ounce of self-respect remaining just so their families can be called respectable by our hypocritical society.
Sikandar's mother makes me sick. She was physically abused in her marriage, and instead of making sure her son doesn't repeat his father's mistakes, she allows it. In some ways, she even encourages it. Instead of having raised her son better, she is taking out her bitterness on Kiran. And the bitter cycle continues.
Also, even if we take the physical abuse out of the picture. What people don't realize is that verbal abuse also leaves behind scars. Sikandar marries Kiran without caring about her social class/status, wealth or family background. And now he uses those same things against her. Kiran is, for some reason, expected to bow down in submission to Sikandar and his family because he married her and is allowing her to live in this big house of his and showering her with these luxuries. Why why why are people so cruel! Why does our society (especially the women in our society) treat other women as second-class citizens? Why are women expected to put up with everything their husbands put them through without ever uttering a single complaint? Why can't a woman stand up for her rights and demand to be treated with respect? Why won't her own family stand up for her when she comes home and complains of abuse?
And more than anything, will this ever change? Is it changing?
Sigh. This show makes me really, really sad. I hate domestic violence. I cannot help but wonder why educated men behave this way. Could beating someone into submission really be that empowering for any human being?
Ahhh. Sorry. Rant over.
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