Chapter 3:
"I'm perfectly fine", A moderate but deep voice behind me answered.
Oh.My.God. My lips quivered as I heard the familiar voice and the stamping footsteps.
You know that feeling when, suddenly your whole world gets turned upside down? When your emotions break loose.
This was somewhat similiar to it. I froze on my tracks, and gulped as hard as I could still sensing the heart palpitations taking over. Maybe this is a dream.
Yes, I knew he was standing behind me.
I'd recognised that husky voice anywhere. Numbness was a way to describe it physically. My eyes lingered on the wooden floor following the shadow carefully. I don't know what state of mind I was in, but all I knew was that I wanted time to stop.
It's not always the heart, sometimes your mind breaks as well.
"Heyyy man", Karan broke the moment.
Siddharth stepped forward, beside me but I still found myself unable to move. I didn't dare to make eye contact nor greet him either. His eyes were on me, I was sure of that. It made my cheeks burn, like someone piercing lasers right through you. Two years!! Two freaking years and he still had the same effect on me.
I kept on blinking my eyes, processing that he was actually here in this room, beside me. What was I thinking? Of course he'd be invited too I mean he was also friends with Divya, how could I forget that?
He chuckled, moving forward. Why was he laughing? Do I look funny to him? Did my make up get ruined, or maybe he was laughing at my mouth dropped open shockingly. Encircling his hands around Divya, they began to talk and joke with each other.
"Congratulations."
"Thanks.... I thought you said you weren't coming", she half smiled with her eyes glancing at me worriedly. That's why she didn't tell me...because he had cancelled the invitation but why did be come now, not that it bothered me..or did it?
"I wasn't going to. But someone nagged me and I couldn't refuse"
Someone nagged him? Who? I glared at Karan being suspicious of him, who then mouthed "It wasn't me"
He wore a black suit, with a crisp white shirt inside. A part of me jumped ecstatically, not because of how handsome he was but because of how successful he appeared. The Siddharth in front of me was way different to the one back then. This one was...formal?
Wearing a tie, a suit, like a renowned businessman.
All this time, I secretly kept tabs on him. Every night, I would search his name on Google to see how his life was until one day I finally found 'Siddharth Khurana issued to take over Khurana Enterprises'. My heart had skipped a beat in proudness. He made it, my Siddharth made it. Except, I had no right to call him mine anymore.
Siddharth was...happy. Maybe I was overreacting when I saw him. Maybe I was the only one who's heart went beserk. He seemed fine, he appeared to be enthusiastic. As if...he didn't get affected by me. But the real question was, why did that annoy me so much?
I decided to bring myself forward, to avoid the awkwardness.
After internally fighting with myself on what to say, I decided to be casual and say a simple "Hi", I forced a smile and he shot his head back at me.
"Heyy", his voice came out all soft and quiet almost as if it was only for me to hear. I observed his expressions for a while, his lips curved a tiny bit, and his eyes...there was something. They were tired. The obvious eye bags gave it all away. I bit my lips, nervously not knowing how to respond next.
The next thing that happened, hooked me. He pulled me into an embrace, clutching on to my bare waist making me shiver in his arms. His fingers danced on it, up and down. I craved for this.
We were so unbearably close, I wished to get lost into this moment. He dug his head into my neck causing an unknown spark to go through my spine.. "Roshni", I swear I could him groan a little. But I chose to ignore it.
And there it was again, the smell of him and his after shave. After a while, I hesitantly elevated my arms to wrap around his back. It made his head, slightly move out of place forcing his lips to brush off my collarbone.
Then came the sudden movement of him backing away from the hug, which made me come back to reality. It was almost as if he realised the position we were both in.
"What was that for?".
"Just a friendly hug", he shrugged.
I wanted to slap him. That was most defintely not a friendly hug. I don't know what his definition was, but that was not it. Did he not feel what I felt?
Silence followed, which made it even more awkward. I wonder if he could hear my heart beating uncontrollably fast as if it would pop out any second. What the hell was happening? More specifically what were we doing? Standing in the middle of hall, staring in each other's eyes like two freakish lovers.
You ever stand so close to someone, yet feel so far?
I mentally cursed myself for the pathetic small talk. The truth was, I craved to listen to his voice, it made me relive those precious moments we spent together. All the emotions that I managed to keep surpressed all these years ,were now rising to the surface.
"Married?", I caught him by surprise.
My eyes widened, seriously that's the first question I decided to ask? But I was interested too, the thought bugged me from the inside. Did he have someone in his life? Was I selfish to hope, he was by himself?
He brought his hands up to his face, and pointed to a pure gold ring on his finger.
"Engaged actually", he replied as if it was the most casual thing in the whole world.
Never did it occur to me until this moment, how much the striking pain of being broken can actually mash up both your mind and heart. I let my body weight sink down, wishing the hard stone on my chest would disappear. My eyes searched his face for reassurance, reassurance that what I just heard was a lie. But all I saw was, a pair of eyes admiring the ring on his finger.
My eyeballs shrinked from it's size, "congrats". I was supposed to be elated with this, I was supposed to feel relieved that I could finally stop feeling guilty.
But what I did feel, was my heart aching for the man standing in front of me. Should I have known, he would be here, I would've never have came. He's the thought in my head that rips me apart piece by piece.
I clenched my teeth, and rolled my sight back to him.
"Thank you", he joyously responded.
What was once mine, was someone else's now. And that was the cold truth.
I didn't know what I expected, I was the one who left him but now that I was faced with the reality of him belonging to someone else, I couldn't process it. Did I make a mistake? Was it true that he loved someone else now?
"What's wrong? Are you not happy for me?", His voice came out again.
Filled with despair and tears, as if I was grieving someone who's alive. I pushed back the tears and breathed, as if my life depended on it.
"Uhh..ummm yeah of course I am", I scoffed trying to hide my true emotions.
"Roshni, I have to tell you something. Let's go", Divya snuck up behind me dragging me away.
I didn't react to her touch but I was grateful she did that or else I would've done something I'd regret. Siddharth's words repeated themseleves over and over again in my mind. I desired to run away, and never come back. Or at least pinch myself so I could wake up from this horrible dream.
She brought me to this corner of the house, where no one could hear or see us. As my eyes directed towards her, I saw what I dreaded. Pity.
"I'm so sorry".
"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault. In fact, I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's found someone else", swallowing hard.
She tilted her head, as if trying to examine my movements carefully, "why are you trying to hide your feelings? I know it hurts".
Divya always holds my hands when I'm upset, it usually makes me feel lighter, but not this time.
"I'm fine", I tried to assure her.
"Hmmm, but your tears are saying otherwise"
"Did you know about him and his...fiancee?"
"Of course not, I would've warned you if I did. Even I was shocked, now that I think about it, by the looks of Karan he was surprised too."
Karan was surprised? That's weird, they're best friends. He probably should have known about him getting engaged.
Brushing off the thought, I shook my head. It was Divya's special day, and here I am ruining it.
"Divya stop this now. It's your engagement, aren't you supposed to be standing with your fiance, having fun", I cheered.
I quickly wiped my tears, thanking myself that I wore waterproof mascara today. "You want to stay at my house tonight?".
I was well aware, she didn't want me out of her sight. It's what she did, even years ago when we walked out of the University, she stayed with me at my house making sure I didn't do anything bad to myself or go into a hole of self destruct.
Once again, I was burdened by this so called blessing 'love'. It was my fear, for that one day where I would meet him again, or when I would get the news that he's getting married. But it was strange, the media never mentioned this.
No matter how many times I denied it, it still freaking hurts. I still loved him with every inch of my being and right now I could sense the pain, seeping through my body almost as if I was about to collapse. He made me weak.
"Come on Roshni. I know you want to be strong, but now's not the time to do that. You're staying final okay?"
I nodded, she saw right through me and my childish ways of refusing to accept things.
I placed my hands on hers, and we decided to go back to the engagement party, where it was nearly time for the engagement to actually occur. Bruno came forward, kissing her cheek delicately. How cute.
Karan's figure jumped beside me, and I sighed. Now I could realise the height of his heartbreak, after all I was also in love with someone who didn't love me anymore.
"You good?", He mouthed quietly beside me.
"Yep"
He rolled his eyes at me indicating he knew I was lying. Of course I was lying, if I told him how I felt I would end up in an ugly breakdown. Siddharth also stood on the other side of me, his hands in his pockets. There were times where I felt his intense looks upon me making me wonder why he was doing that.
My head ached, I was here crushing over a guy who was engaged. How did my life come to this.
Siddharth's POV:
"Come on tell me Karan, I asked you a question. How is he doing?", I reminisced her question.
She still cared for me and that too, to a huge extent. I couldn't help the smirk on my face as I stole glances at her every now and then. Her eyes were focused on Divya and Bruno, but I knew that wasn't what her mind was running at. There was something else.
My engagement....why did I lie? I don't know, maybe because a part of me was eager to find out if she still loved me or if she moved on. The ring, well that was a family ring but she didn't know that.
Over the course of the last two years, I refused to pay attention to any news involving her. I was angry at her, and maybe I still am. But only I know how my insides melt every time I see her.
I did try to move on, I did try to go out with other girls. But nothing worked.
Eventually I forced myself to accept, the consequences of falling in love. All I wanted to do was run over to her and hug her, confess how much I missed her.
But I couldn't do that. She told me to achieve my dreams, I did, but she doesn't know how unhappy that made me feel. What's the point of having fulfilled your dream, if you still feel empty afterwards? When I got Divya's invitations, I refused. I was afraid, that I would come back and see her, see her with someone else.
But, after confirming from Karan who confirmed from Divya, I knew she was single.
Seeing her again, at this party made me realise one thing. She is the love of my life, and no one or nothing can change that. There was something missing in her, her face would say something else, and her words would say something else.
The Roshni I knew, the girl who used to be outgoing and have fun no matter what the situation was, was gone. It bugged me that, she lost that wholehearted smile. That glow on her face, when she would make jokes and laugh. It was all fake now. We both had transformed in different ways.
But as much as I loved my job, as professional as I was, nothing could compare to how I felt for her. She was my both my weakness and my strength.
I knew I hurt her. But it was nothing compared to what I've been going through, for the past two years. I believed in us. I tried to behave like a normal person in front of her, but the truth was I was broken inside. By meeting her again, the hope inside me increased. Maybe I would get hurt again, maybe she would break my heart again but this time I was ready for it.
Can you imagine standing beside the person you love the most, but not being able to touch them at all? Her presence drove an eternal bliss inside me that even I couldn't describe. If I hadn't backed away from the hug earlier, I wouldn't be able to control myself.
Why can't you just admit how much you missed me Roshni? That hadn't changed, she was still the girl who refused to admit her feelings. Who refused to fight for what she really wanted. And I was the still guy, who refused to give up.
I stretched my fingers and accidently brushed them against hers, making me feel the softness of her skin. She shook a little, staring down at our hands and changed her position, stiffening her body.
After a while, we all clapped for the upcoming couple as they took over the dance floor with their slow romantic dance.
I leaned against the barriers of the tables with a drink in my hand. That could've been me and Roshni. However our parents didn't agree. Even then, I didn't need a marriage to show my love. But it's what Roshni wanted, meaning it what I wanted too.
"Hey you. Wanna dance?", A random girl eyed me up and down giving me the flirty look.
"Ewww", Roshni whispered beside me.
"I'm sorry. Did you say something?", I asked with an amused face.
She glared back at me in annoyance and faked the worlds worst smile. "No".
Damn she was cute when jealous. I grabbed ahold of the girls hands and brought her to the dance floors. We both swayed to the music slowly, in each other's arms. Of course my head was only on one girl.
The room's light were dimmed, making it hard to even see anything except the person in front of you, I grew more and more curious as I searched for Roshni. I realised she wasn't there. Where did she go? Maybe I went too far, with the jealousy thing.
"Excuse me", I backed away from the girl who didn't seem to care.
I signalled Karan to come to me. "Where's Roshni?"
"I don't know, she chugged down a few drinks and then went somewhere upstairs"
My eyes widened, "What? She drank?"
Karan gave me a bewildered look, "Yeah why?"
I loudly sighed, making him more alarmed. "Never mind".
I ran up the stairs with the goal of finding her. Roshni could never control her alcohol, as far as I could remember.
Once she got drunk, and that's how she told me she loved me. It was the best day of my life, except the next day she didn't remember any of it bringing me back to square one.
She wasn't in the right state of mind right now, and that's what made me concerned that she drank. Who knows what she'll do.
I reached a large king sized room, which I guessed was Divya's. As I entered, I came across the huge balcony door open, with a figure standing in front of the rails. Her hair kind of flew because of the wind, she tapped her fingernails on the rails. The fresh air hit me, when I stepped out.
"Roshni?"
She didn't even bother to look at me, all she did was stare into the stunning scenery in front of her. It was freezing outside, she rubbed her hands across her shoulders up and down trying to warm herself.
"Do you want my suit jacket?", I deilcately voiced.
Her eyes tensed up, as tears fell down her cheeks.
I gulped trying my best to keep my calm, it was frustrating to see her cry. She began to sob a little loud and I immediately cupped her face, digging them into her hair. I began to dry her tears with my thumbs "shhhh I'm right here", her hands automatically touched mine, I knew that look.
She wasn't in her senses. She was the type of person to get overly emotional when drunk.
We were only centimeters apart at this point, making it difficult for me to look away.
Third Person POV:
As time went on, they could both hear each other's erratic breathing. It was the sweet longing from all those years.
Siddharth didn't dare to take his eyes off her, and she, she touched the middle of his fingers savouring the touch making their way up to his face.
He creased his jawline stopping himself from losing control.
Roshni licked her lips, making Siddharth close his eyes to compose himself properly. He knew she wouldn't remember this in the morning, and she would probably regret it. They both didn't have a clue, but they were both leaning in focusing on each other's lips.
"You're not in your senses, stop", Siddharth managed to let out.
"I missed you. I missed you so much", Roshni muttered while bringing her face closer.
It was something that went beyond sexual pleasure, it was the yearning of two people who loved each other. Both their hearts ached for each other, yet none of them talked about it. Roshni swallowed, feeling her throat getting dry.
'Siddharth'
Siddharth sensed her hold around his face, getting stronger. He groaned when she blew air on his face. Only he knew how much he wanted to touch her lips, taste them again and show his right on her. A part of him, wanted her to kiss him but then again he would never do anything that Roshni would regret.
His hands fell down by his side. He pressed his body closer against her making her back touch the rails. Roshni's face softened. She relaxed her curves against his hard figure as he traced his hands around her hips.
Roshni began to feel dizzy making her whole body figure depend on him. The warmth of body their bodies urged them to get closer.
The touch intensified, as he tightened his hold around her waist with one hand and bent his other hands downwards. Roshni shrieked, as Siddharth lifted her up in his arms in one go. He carried her up to the room closing the balcony door and placed her under the sheets.
"Don't go", she pouted holding on to his collar.
"Siddharth I still love you please don't go, I know you love me too. I know I did a mistake, but stay. We can make this work", her heart begged.
A drop of year ran down Siddharth's face, as he listened to her talk.
"Every single time I think I'm going to shout at you, or scold you for what you did, you always do this to me. You make me feel things that no one else can make me feel", he mouthed in his quiet deep voice.
"Then don't leave", she pushed herself against the sheets to bring herself closer to him.
"I promise you Roshni, one day we'll be together. One day you'll say these exact words to me, except that time you'll be in your senses. I'm not fighting for you this time, you'll be the one who will come back to me, who will fight for us. This time it's either you, or it's nothing.", He kissed her forehead.
"Good night"
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I wrote this one kinda fast to be honest, so I don't know how I feel about it. It didn't have much, but if I had dragged the chapter, it would've been bad so.
Don't forget to like and comment if you liked it. Until next time ❤️
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