Chapter 1:
You ever feel like, someone just snatched your will to live? As if, all of a sudden, you forgot how to breathe. That was me, at this very exact moment.
It was the last day of university, we were all gathered together in one room reminiscing the old times. The laughs, the crying, the all nighters of just goofing around.
Now that would all end. We would all go our separate ways. Of course, we've managed to come to terms with that. We would still be in touch, still see each other on a daily basis, or, so I thought.
My hands held a white crisp paper, fresh out of an envelope. They were shaking, and I couldn't stop them. My fingertips would just explore the softness of the paper while trying to comprehend what was written.
Every two seconds I'd gulp, and look at him.
I took the paper, read it one more time to confirm and creased it neatly to put it back into the formal brown envelope.
I sighed, maybe this was destiny. Perhaps this was what was supposed to happen after all, but why wouldn't he tell me?
I placed it back into his backpack, and took out his jacket which was what I came here for. I was cold, and so decided to borrow his jacket.
I loved how it made me feel, it reminded me of how the old days were. How he would wrap his arms around me, and in one second I would feel safe.
The love of my life, or maybe not.
His jacket smelled like after shave, when I put it on, it would cover my shoulders giving me the same warmth he once did.
No matter how many times I took his jacket without asking, he would never say anything. In fact, I think he liked me wearing it.
My eyes found their way back to him again, he stood there against the wall, with one leg pushed against it, and the other straight.
His hands were in his pocket revealing his bulging biceps that I so wanted to touch. He had been talking to one of his best friends laughing.
His jawline would crease every time, showing his huge smile that made me go mad. How could I ever get over this guy? It was impossible, and I accepted that a long time ago.
Suddenly, I found him gazing back at me.
His eyes travelled up and down, and stopped on my face to what seemed like an observing look. His lips curved into a little smile, and he tilted his head softly.
"You okay?", He mouthed.
I nodded, smiling back. I could've told him, what I found but then again it was none of my business. I lost that right months ago when we broke up. Some things change, some things don't.
Me and Siddharth were separated. We still loved each other' that was no doubt but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way it should. But even then, that little hope in your heart stays.
He glanced at his jacket which was encased around my shoulders , held tightly by my hands, and gave me a reassuring look.
You know we were the type of two people that didn't need to talk, just looking each other would be enough for communicating. It was something I loved about us, maybe what I fell in love with in the first place.
After a short while, of constantly looking back and forth at each other, Divya, my best friend interrupted us. "Let's take one last photo together, what say!?", I heard her screeching voice.
I glimmered at her optimism, despite everyone being upset that we're leaving, she managed to boost morale.
"Sure"
Everyone in the room lined at the back of the room for a group photo, some sitting down and posing, and some standing.
He was standing right beside me, his body pressed right against mine sideways, somehow his large hands had found their way around my waist making me shiver all over.
I didn't move, I couldn't move. I just wanted time to stop, maybe this would be my last moment ever spent with him and I didn't want to lose it. I faked a smile for the photo, but little did I know there was a pair of eyes on me the whole time.
"Great picture!", Everyone managed to scan the picture on the camera but me and Siddharth just stood there frozen.
He always made me feel this type of nervousness that no one else could make me feel. I was a confident woman, but everytime I would be close to him, every inch of my body would stop working.
"Stop", I muttered.
"What?"
"Stop looking at me like that"
I was analysing his behaviour really closely. He was in pain, he removed his hands around my waist. "Right I forgot I lost that right"
"Sid....."
"Its okay, I'll be right back", he whispered stranding over to the table where his backpack was kept.
And my worst nightmare started. He took out the envelope and took out the letter.
"Right so, if I can have everyone's attention. As you all know, tomorrow something new is beginning. Some of us are taking a break, some of us are jumping into action and some of us..well are starting a new journey. There's something I haven't quite told you all yet and I think you have the right to know"
I took a deep breath sucking in all the air I could. Something churned in my stomach, causing me to swallow hard.
"Go on", Siddharth's best friend Karan encouraged him.
"Two months ago, I was offered a place in my parents company. I refused because I didn't want to live by their name. Like every person out there, I wanted to start something on my own. And in order to do that, I had to begin right from the start. So I applied for a small job in a small company, which I got accepted in..."
Wait he applied for this two months ago, after we broke up?
"That's amazing!! I'm proud of you bro", voices cheered him on.
"I'm not finished. The thing is, the company isn't here. It's somewhere else. Far away", he raised his voice a little.
"How far?", His friend asked .
"London".
And that was it. That's when I felt like my heart would stop. Normally you wouldn't think this would be a big deal, but try falling in love with someone and then the next moment, they walk out of your life...forever.
I guess a part of me always hoped, no matter how many times we separate or even fight, there would always be a chance. But him leaving, ruins that.
This was my fault anyway, I was the one who left him. Yes it was me. I had no right to be upset right now, but I was unable to process the fact that I wouldn't even be able to look at him anymore. He would be too far away from me.
There was silence all around the room.
Of course we had to move on with our lives, but everyone thought we would still be together in the same city, or at least same country. Guess not.
I knew he was staring at me, I was well aware that he awaited my reaction. But I gave him nothing, I stood there with a numb face and my eyes glued to the ground. My heart was uncontrollably beating fast.
I cleared my throat at first unable to form words, but eventually gaining the courage to say something before he questioned me. I'm not sure if I'd be strong enough for that.
"I think you should go for it".
I sensed all eyes on me.
"Roshni what are you saying? Its London. Do you know how long it takes to get there? We'll be so busy in our lives, who knows when we'll get to see each other", Divya defensively said.
His eyebrows flinched, and he looked suprised as if he was trying to process everything.. Why would he be surprised?
Taking a step forward he replied, "wait.. you really think I should go....You want me to go?".
"Well yeah. I mean you said you wanted it, so...go", I whispered the last part to make sure my voice didn't crack. I tried to sound casual but I knew it would sound pathetic.
"Hmm", he murmured to himself.
I don't get it, why was he so shocked that I said that? Did he want me to tell him, to not go? I would never hold him from what he wants, he knows that and it's not like I have the right to do that anyway.
We all sort of stood there in silence, I heard Siddharth fiddling with the crusty paper. I knew the tension was high. Its heartbreaking for everyone to see their friend leave, especially when we've all been together for four years.
"Have you accepted it?", I heard another voice behind me.
"No, I thought of telling you guys first. I still haven't emailed them my answer. I could either go there, or I have other options".
It was 3am at this stage, the so called party had turned way too depressing for people to stay, people began to leave. Was this really the last time I would see him?
It was weird, because I always thought me and him were forever.
Forever was a strong word, but I was never scared to use it when it came to him. I still remember the first time I met him. It seems like yesterday. All the moments I have ever spent with him, feels too short now. Maybe because, I crave for more. But I know that won't happen.
Our first meeting was casual, but little did I know this guy would change my life forever.
Flashback: (THIRD PERSON POV)
Roshni entered the huge dorm room, with a huge smile on her face. She bit her lip admiring the scene around her. The walls were beige, it was empty of course but she would decorate it.
The windows were adorned with light coloured curtains that revealed green grass and flowers outside.
She always wanted to live on her own, and now that was being fulfilled. Of course her best friend was by her side.
They were studying in the same university.
After laying her luggage on the small bed, she walked around already planning what she would change and what she would add. "I feel like we're in a movie. We've wanted this for ages!", Her best friend as always screamed beside her.
"I know!!!"
"All we need is a hot guy, and that would complete the movie".
"Shut up Divya", Roshni giggled.
*BANG BANG*
"WHO KNOCKS THAT LOUD", Divya complained
Roshni sighed. She was dreading who came to meet them on their first day. She didn't want anything ruined aka her mood.
Going over to the door, she twisted the doorknob slowly and only opened the door halfway.
"Yes?", She questioned the guy appearing in front of her.
"Actually we're lost, so we were wondering if you pretty girls can show us the right way?", The guy pouted.
"If that's your way of flirting with us, then you're doing a terrible job. Just because it's our first day doesn't mean we're going to be easily taken advantage of", Roshni answered back.
"Woah calm down. Let me start over. Hi, I'm Karan".
"And I'm Roshni....... Although I don't even know why I'm telling you this.
"Roshni who is ...", Divya stopped in her tracks when she saw the man standing in front of her.
She flicked her tongue and went closer to Roshni whispering, "Told you we'd meet a hot guy".
Roshni rolled her eyes in embarrassment.
"You think I'm hot?", Karan pressed his hand against the door frame.
"Shit. How did he hear me? Does he have like superpowers or something?".
"I can still hear you"
"UGHHH", Divya widened her eyes in attempt to scare him away.
Roshni laughed and went back to unpack her clothes. She could hear them chattering constantly back and forth. She had a good feeling about this, Divya was being teased. And she seemed to enjoy it.
"What the hell are you doing here. We need to go into our rooms", a stern voice came from behind Karan.
"Calm down dude. We have a lot of time before class starts".
"Look I'm not here to mess around. Just give me the keys and go back..to whatever you're doing. Flirting with girls?"
"Yeah..this is why people say I'm the fun one", Karan joked.
After a while, Roshni went back to join the conversation. She found humour in the two guy's fighting and let out a small laugh. This caught Siddharth's attention.
He stopped talking midway, and turned his attention to her.
Roshni smiled at him. "Wow", he muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing. I'm Siddharth, Siddharth Khurana", He extended his hands towards her.
"I'm Roshni Patel.", She shook his hands which was incredibly rough.
"Wait Patel?"
"Yeah, I know. Khuranas and Patel's are supposed to be sworn enemies", Roshni said in a low voice. She hated her family's hatred towards the Khuranas's. Her mom would never stop going on about it and it annoyed her to the core. 'All because of stupid business', she thought.
Karan examined Siddharth's reaction, as he kept on observing Roshni as if she was the most delicate thing on earth. "I thought you said no flirting".
Siddharth gave him a death stare, "I wasn't flirting.. anyways we'll go now. Nice to meet you", he dragged Karan with him.
An hour later:
Roshni got ready for her first class, first day, first semester. She went into class early sitting somewhere random. Divya had different classes from her as they were studying different things.
She shook her hands, rocking the pen in her hand back and forth while scanning her phone for new notifications. There was a slight breeze in the room, and she shivered. "Someone should turn the heater on in this room", she sighed.
A few minutes later, a sudden warmth took over her. Someone had taken their place beside her, she didn't want to seem awkward so didn't look at him directly, however she couldn't help but wonder who it was.
From the corner of her eyes, she raised her head a little to see. It was him, it was Siddharth.
"Nervous?", He asked.
"What?", She was caught off guard.
"I mean it's the first day. Are you nervous?"
"A little bit, but since you're a familiar face, it makes me feel a little more relaxed".
Siddharth's face glowed a little. He was looking forward to getting to know her.
There was something about her that attracted him. Maybe the smile, maybe her hair, maybe the way she talked or maybe the way her cheeks would light up everytime she looked at him.
"You look cold. Do you want my jacket?", He started taking off his jacket.
Roshni stared at his huge biceps and gulped. She took a deep breath brushing off whatever thoughts came into her head. She came here to study, not to drool over boys.
"No that's okay".
"Okay. Its here if you want it", he wrapped it around her chair.
When he leaned in, Roshni felt hot, she couldn't control her breathing. No one had ever been that close to her before.
She blinked, and took a deep breath.
Siddharth smirked, seeing her reaction, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but a part of him liked seeing her blush.
"Sooo, what are you here for? What do you want out of this course? Planning to join the family company?", Roshni placed her hands under her chin curiously.
"No. I mean eventually yes, one day. But first I want to make sure people know me for who I am, not what I was born as. I want to make my own identity, and then one day I'll think about taking over"
"Ahhh independent type"
Siddharth chuckled, "Something like that. What about you?"
"Well honestly, I want to be a fashion designer. Follow my mom's footsteps but, she wanted me to know business first. She says they're both connected so that's why I'm here I guess."
"Then who knows maybe one day we can end this rivalry between our families if we both take over", he replied making her smile.
There was a slight pause, before Roshni talked.
"You know you're not as bad as everyone says"
"Really? How come?"
"Well the public always says you're, I don't know rude? But despite having only talked to you for the past five minutes, you seem like a good person"
Siddharth grinned, no one had ever said such a nice to thing to him like that before. Everyone just assumed he was arrogant, like his parents. He was fed up of trying to clear his image
"Thank you", he replied genuinely.
"You're welcome", she beamed.
Something inside her told her, this was something starting to bloom. Of course, she hadn't realised it yet but it was the beginning of something extraordinary, perhaps leading to one of the most painful moments in her life.
Back to present: (Siddharth's POV)
She wanted me to go? Out of all people, she was the one who told me to go?
Something inside me couldn't digest this. Here I was waiting for her reaction, expecting her to tell me that she still has hope for us, and that she can't let me go.
Is that too much to ask for?
My eyes were fixated on her and how my jacket fitted so perfectly around her shoulder. Yes it was baggy, but she looked cute with it.
There was this satisfying feeling, inside me every time I saw her wearing it.
I couldn't make out her expression. It looked so casual yet so...numb. As if she was hiding her true emotions. Roshni always did that, she was nervous to say what she felt especially in situations like this.
But just once I wish she told me, that she still loved me. That she missed me as much as I have missed her in these last two months. My life has been a living hell.
Everyone around us left, leaving the two of us standing in the room from opposite sides. I walked over gently to her, I notice that she's still not lifting her sight from the ground. This was a weird feeling, we weren't like this.
In a split second I felt like I was a stranger. It was odd. I hated it.
"You really want me to go?", I repeated my question from earlier hoping for a different response.
She bit her lip roughly before peeking up at me. "What do you want me to say Siddharth? Yes I do want you go to"
"Ouch", I pretended to joke even though I was really hurt.
"But not in that way. I want you to go, because this is what you've wanted for as long as I've known you. You applied for this for a reason. You can't just not go, just because I tell you not to"
"Yes I can.", I slid my hands deep into her hair before continuing. "Yes I can. If you tell me once, just once that you don't want me to go. I'll stay. I'll stay for you. Roshni tell me you don't want me to go.", my eyes pierced into hers.
Her eyes tensed and she started breathing heavily. "I would never do that. You know that"
"Is it really that easy for you to let me go then? What we had...me and you, did that mean nothing to you?", My voice kind of shook.
Her hands elevated themselves to touch mine. "Siddharth it's because you mean a lot to me that I'm letting you go. This is selfish. I can't do this".
She removed my hands with a strong push and began to walk away, when I grabbed her waist and pinned her to the nearby wall. I laid my hands on either side of her.
At this point we were both exchanging intense looks.
"Let me go", her lips moved quietly.
"Why can't you just admit that you're hurt, that I'm leaving? Is it that hard? I saw you earlier you know, when you opened the letter. I let you open it because I didn't want to tell you myself. But when you didn't say anything to me, I decided to tell everyone. But I still didn't get what I hoped for"
"What did you hope for""
"I hoped you didn't let me go this time. I wanted this Roshni, but I wanted this with you. When I applied for this after we...after we broke up, I thought when the time comes, I would be with you again. I was wrong."
God, we were so close. I haven't been that close to her in a long time. I could smell the fragrance of her hair, I could feel the softness of her skin against mine. I missed her.
"I missed you Roshni. You know how many times I've seen you and wanted to just hug you? The amount of times I've wanted to talk to you, have a proper conversation just like we used to have. But I couldn't. Because I respected our break up. You know, I still love you. I missed this".
"STOP.", I was able to see tears forming in her eyes.
"Why should I stop? You're giving up Roshni. AGAIN. You're doing the same thing you did two months ago."
Flashback: (Third person POV)
There were five people sitting down in the living room. Tension filled up the air, as voices were raised and tears formed in eyes.
Roshni and Siddharth, sat down on the sofa holding hands, longing for the screaming to stop between the two families. It was supposed to be a special day, they planned to make the families like each other but nothing was going to plan.
"Siddharth I'm scared", Roshni felt uneasy.
"I'm right here aren't I", he softly replied.
"Yeah but, what if they don't agree?"
"Come on Roshni you know I would do anything for you even if that meant leaving my family for you", he assured her tightening his hands with hers.
"Siddharth it's our family. We can't do that."
He stood up placing a wet kiss on her forehead, and angrily went over to the parents.
"ENOUGH.... I can't believe you guys. You can't even put your ego aside for your children? Why does your precious business have to be involved in everything."
"You can't talk to us that way. We're your parents", Simran raised her voice.
"Seriously? Now you pretend to be the good parent? I love Roshni, and if you guys ever want to see me happy or settle down one day, it will be only with her", his tone remained certain.
"Never. My daughter will never be part of your family. Not even in a million years.", DD went over and clutched Roshni's hands signalling her to get up.
"But mom I love him. I don't know when or how I fell in love with him, but all I know is that if you don't allow him to be a part of my life then I guess I'll just have to go against you".
DD widened her eyes, "You're fighting with me? For this piece of crap. Do you know what the hell you're saying Roshni?!"
"I do know mom. And I stand by my decision".
"Fine leave. Your dad already left me, you can leave too.", She started her emotional blackmailing.
Roshni clenched her teeth, "That's not what I meant".
"Then what did you mean? Can't you see what that man is doing to you? He's turning you into a different person"
"That's my son you're talking about. Don't you dare.", Simran shot back.
"This relationship will never happen. Mark my words", DD said exiting.
"Siddharth she is right. You and this girl, are not right for each other. We're doing what's right for you. We hope you can see that", and their angry footsteps left the room.
Siddharth moved towards Roshni, who was nearly crying. She really thought this would work, and after university they would be able to live together, happily.
But some things always remain incomplete, or do they?
"Heyy look at me", Siddharth pulled her chin up to face him.
His fingers delicately stroked the bottom of her chin and carefully travelled upwards to wipe her tears, and he smiled at her hoping it would make her smile too.
"Don't worry, we'll find a way. I don't care if our families are stubborn we're a thousand times more stubborn than them"
Roshni continued gazing at him intently, the man standing in front of her was willing to do anything for her. No one had ever shown her that type of love before, not even her mom.
She swallowed hard before speaking.
"But what if they're right", her voice croaked.
Siddharth stepped back bewildered, "what do you mean?".
"I mean look at us Siddharth. We are changed. Look at how we're behaving with our own family. Do you think that's fair on them?".
"Tell me you're not serious?"
"I am, I mean our two families have been enemies for generations because of business. Maybe we were stupid to think that we could be..."
"Stop stop. Do you know what you're saying? Of course we would change, we're in love. And second of all, our families should understand that we want to be with each other. What's wrong in that?", He got a little too defensive.
"But to what extent!? To threatening to leave them? The people who raised us? What if...what if we were wrong to think we could be together?", Her voice went lower with each word afriad of how Siddharth would react.
Siddharth grabbed his hair furiously messing it up, trying to calm himself down. "You don't believe in us?"
She took a small step forward, this time laying her hands on his arms. "Of course I do, if I didn't I wouldn't have taken this big risk with you, but I'm just saying we could lose everything just because of our love. I...I don't think we're ready to do that yet"
Siddharth was in disbelief. How could she so easily say those words, after they promised each other to fight?
"You knew. You knew what we were getting ourseleves into when we began this relationship Roshni. But you still fell in love with me, and so did I, why didn't you think about all this back then? Why now?"
"Because I thought we could change it, but we were wrong Siddharth. Please understand"
"No Roshni you understand!! I love you, and I will never give up on you, even if that means giving up on my own family", his eyes were turning red, feeling hurt at her words.
"Then, maybe I'll have to give up", Roshni whispered.
"You're joking. Please tell me you're joking."
"I'm sorry Siddharth", she cried.
"Who gave you the right to give up on us? Who gave you the right to do that to me?", He raised his voice.
"Its for the best".
"You know what Roshni, I never thought I would say this. But you sound exactly like your mom right now. My parents gave up on me, I never thought the girl I would fall in love with, would too".
"Please don't say..", she went ahead to carress his face but he backed off.
"Don't. Don't touch me", and with that ended a love story.
Back to present:
"I can't believe you're doing this to me again. I thought if I gave you two months, you would realise that we're meant to be. That we're worth fighting for. But I was wrong. You really did give up", his lips quivered.
"Can't you see how toxic this is? First our family, and now you want to give up your dreams for me too?"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. But that's not enough for you is it?", He wiped his tears.
Roshni was on the verge of a breakdown but she somehow controlled herself. "Go follow your dreams Siddharth. Do what you've wanted to do. Do what you love."
"I will. I got my answers now. I just want to do one thing before I go". Siddharth focused in closer to her. He took in her beauty, as if he was mentally taking a picture.
"What?", Roshni had an idea what he was about to do.
"This", and with that he pressed his lips tightly against hers. They were both in tears, but the minute they started kissing, the minute their lips joined together passionately they couldn't stop.
You could hear the slight noises of kissing, as Siddharth dominated her with his tongue leaving wet kisses on her lips, sucking her lower lips roughly making it red than it already was.
They both savoured the touch of each other.
As they began to stop, Roshni tilted her forehead against his, and let out her frantic breathing.
With a heavy heart, she lifted Siddharth's jacket around her. "Here"
Siddharth paused for a second deciding whether to take it or not and then finally clutched her hands taking the jacket.
Their hands touched one last time, and Roshni could barely see him properly with all the tears forming into her eyes.
He let go. He was going to London leaving her perhaps forever.
"Goodbye Roshni".
"Goodbye Siddharth".
THE END
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Lol joking joking. --TO BE CONTINUED (HOPEFULLY😂)--
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Don't forget to Like AND Comment if you liked it ❤️
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