Hey guys, how are y'all??? It's been a month since I posted anything...
So coming to the situation, I've been alright and my hand's improved a lot. They've removed that plaster thing and now I can move my hand but unfortunately not like before.
I've started to do some physio exercises and it's good. It's improving but as per the doctor's advice I should give it a few more days rest only then my knuckle, muscles whatever that is would be working fine.
Which unfortunately means I can't update anything but, but guys, I have a small good news for y'all. I have a chapter ready in Our Firsts, I've typed them using my normal one. And I have to edit it here and there and then I'll surely update it.
Sorry for this long wait guys, i'm extremely sorry and thank you y'all so much for understanding my situation. It means a lot❤️
With Love❤️
Suha❤️
Meet y'all next time with a new chapter, which might probably be in two days time, hopefully! Byee, love you guys so much❤️
Chapter 45
Flashback
Siddharth's POV
"I love you so much Siddharth" I hear her faint voice crying out. My eyebrows furrow together, my eyes still closed I hear a sobbing voice. "i'm sorry for lying to you that I have lost my memory par sach toh yeh hai ki mujhe sab kuch yaad hai"
What?!
My eyes snap open when I hear that sentence leaving from her mouth. The dense forest comes in my view before my sight lands on her.
Her back was slouched, her figure bend down, her head resting on his hands as she sobbed...
Why is she crying? And what is she saying?
She did loose her memory didn't she? She did go through that accident? She hates me, right?
I get up slowly from the bench and let the blanket to slid away from my body. I take small and silent steps towards her only for her sobs to get louder.
"i'm sorry Siddharth" she cries and my heart churns for that. I always love to hear her voice, even the small 'hmm' s from her would make my day, but not her sobbing voice.
"I love you" she breathes out and that's when my heart decided to betray me by skipping a beat when I heard her confession.
She loves me?
I move near her and crouch down to her level. Her body freezes when I keep my hand on her shoulder.
"kya bola tumne?" my voice slightly cracks. Her muscles tense up under my touch, her body perks up as she lifts herself from the stairs, to stand in her full height. Her wide brown eyes sees me but what hurts me is the redness cascaded throughout her face. Tears streaming down her cheeks, starting from her eyes and ending all the way down to her neck.
Ahh that neck... where I can always-
Siddharth! Focus!
The tip of her nose is red. Her lips parted in shock as she stared me. And that's when I noticed, she is standing without the crutches and she wasn't also using the wheel chair.
Wait. What?
She- She could stand on her own? And she- she...
She didn't lose her- Wait was all this an act?! Has she not faced the accident?!
But all those proof Rohan showed me- It was fake!
But... even the police were involved in this...
Urgh my thoughts are scattered.
Did she lie to me about getting into an accident and loosing her memory? She- she lied to me? About her hating me?
No, Siddharth, that's Roshni, woh tujhse bohot pyaar karti hai, uski zindagi ke zyaade tujhse chahti hai.
But-
"Roshni, kya bola tumne?" I voice out and I find it a bit cracked. Her eyes don't narrow up, they still stand widened with shock. Various emotions run through her eyes. She looks way too vulnerable, her lips are parted, her hands are fidgeting, her legs are slightly shaking as she trembles when she lets out a silent sob.
I want my answers, but I don't want to hurt her by yelling at her for the lies she told me.
I move towards her and descend the stairs. Taking slow steps I place my arm on her shoulder.
She blinks, tears fall down from her eyes as she freezes under my touch. She dries her lips and moves it to say something but nothing comes out.
I move closer to her, and cup her cheeks. Rubbing off her tears with my hand I shake my head gesturing that she shouldn't cry. I don't know when but my eyes started to tear up and now I have my own tears lingering on my cheeks.
"kuch bhi karo, par rona nahi" I say wiping her tears away. Her eyes soften as more tears fall down from her brown orbs. She leans into my touch resting her face against my palm.
She looks so cute, man. I don't know what I had done to be this lucky to get her in my life, to make her my life.
She bites her shivering lower lip and I could tell that she was trying to stop herself from sobbing in front of me. So I pull her into my arms letting her head crash on my chest as I wrap my arms around her waist.
She felt so soft in arms and her feminine scent along with the petrichor lingering in the atmosphere filled in my nostrils. I feel her hands wrapping around my torso as she rests her head on my chest. I lift her up by her waist making her feet leave the ground. Her long legs wrap around me as she hides her face on the crook my my neck.
Smiling to myself, I tighten my grip on her and walk up the porch. I somehow manage to pick up the blanket lying on the bench and wrap it around her, feeling her shiver.
Keeping her in place with my arm around her waist, I opened the main door leading us into the cottage.
"shh" I rub her back when identify my shoulder is becoming wet. After closing the door, I sit on the couch with her still in my arms, her arms tightening around my neck.
We sit there, no words were spoken. The atmosphere is filled in crisp cold air along with my calm breathing and her silent sobs.
Rubbing her back with one hand, with the other one, I caress her hair which is let down running the length along her spine. I've always loved the hair of hers, and to run my fingers through her locks is one of my favorites activities.
I remember the time when I had pranked her when we were studying tenth, Rithvik, Karan had dared me too prank her with her hair as she never lets anyone to touch it except to comb her hair and lets me if I give her a massage.
I smile at the memory when I remember her face when she heard the sound of scissors cutting and saw the fake hair extensions fallen on the ground. She shrieked, she screeched and she screamed putting me in deep shit. Our families surrounded us as she cried for that hair and she, she didn't even let me to explain that the hair was fake. She hit me with her small fists, her eyes were red filled with anger, she lips formed in a cute pout, even though I was at fault and I felt guilty to make her cry, I couldn't stand her. She was looking so freaking cute, just a like a small bunny, who's angry when his carrot is snatched from him. And when she learned that it was fake, she punished me and ordered that I should do her homework for the next month and being this love sick puppy I was, I obeyed her demand.
I chuckle at the memory, my chest vibrate pressed against hers. I hear her faint gasp as she pulls away from me.
Her angelic face comes in my view. She wipes her tears on her cheeks with her palm as she parts her lips to speak, "main yahaan ro raha hoon, aur tum has rahe ho?" she looks at me in disbelief.
Dear readers excuse me for a minute while I admire her. God, even when she's crying how does she manages to look like this? She really is amazing, sexy and beautiful on the outside and a real adorable child in the inside.
You guys would think that I should be angry at her since she lied to me. Yes, I am angry but keeping the 'angriness' aside, for once I thought on why would she lie to me.
For once in a long time, I heard to my heart and not my brain by giving her a shoulder to cry and protecting her in my arms.
Once I had made my mistake of listening to my brain back in college, I let my walls break down, I broke down in front of her. I shouted at her, I yelled at her, I accused her of something even I know she isn't capable of. And that broke us apart. And it had taken all these years for me, for my dumb brain to realise that she never was at fault, she had always been telling me the truth but the stubborn person I was, I clenched my heart, shut down my feelings for her and grew this fake hate for her. I had convinced myself that I should hate her but in reality I loved her with my whole being.
That mistake of mine isn't forgivable but she forgave me. She forgave me wholeheartedly and accepted me even though I wasn't the one to be forgiven. I'm not the person who should receive trust but she trusts me, I don't deserve her love but she loves me, immensely.
I will never forgive myself for that mistake but I will make sure that I will never ever repeat it again.
I see her lips forming in a cute pout as she sees me smiling.
"why are you so adorable?" I ask caressing her cheek with the back of my hand, gently.
She eyes me in surprise, I knew she was expecting an outburst but I replaced it with love.
"tu naraaz nahi hai mujhse?" she asks making my lips giving a small smile to her.
"hun" I nod my head.
Her lips falls down in a frown, "phir mujh par chillao, na" she states making my eyebrows furrow together.
"kyun?" I ask, "why should I shout at you?" my voice lacing with calm.
I want to hear the reasons for her act, she wasn't truthful with me, but was I? I had told her about the past, but have I cleared it all? I still haven't told her that Rohan, her ex-roommate, is her step brother. When I have this as a secret why can't she have one? When I'm not truthful in our relationship, why should she be too?
All these thoughts run through my brain and that's the reason I suppress my anger and let it out as care. I care for her way too much now, that even a small tear from her breaks me apart, a thousand times, maybe even more.
Roshni's POV
"why isn't the question you should asking me Siddharth? Why not?! you should Siddharth! You should be asking me on why the f**k I lied to you about losing my f**king memory! you should be asking me what had happened after I was kidnapped! you should be asking me what made me put up this act! you should be shouting at me Siddharth for breaking your heart! you... you should... urgh can you stop smiling for once?!" I hiss at him as the smile never falters from his face.
His palm still cupping my cheek and the other hand sliding the length of my waist. What the hell's wrong with him?!
I could see it in his eyes that he wants to know it. All of it. What had happened in the past two days.
Although I was planning on opening upto him, I just don't know how, I don't how he'd take it if he knows that Rohan, my one hell of a roommate, also known as my kidnapper, is my mother-freaking half brother.
I knew that Misha and Rohan were related but what I didn't know was I, me, Roshni Patel is related to Rohan Oberoi. We might have different last names, we might have different fathers but unfortunately we share the same, single mother.
Rohan was my mom's first child with her first husband, that shithole of a person, who tortured my mom and took her son away from her, without her consent.
I know Siddharth's knows this and what I don't know is how will he take it knowing his sasumom's first child was taken away from her, my brother is my roommate who had kidnaped me, his sasumom was forced into bed by her first husband before marriage, and that husband is hell bent on destroying our family, his sasumom was getting beat by her first husband making her almost go through an abortion, which obviously didn't happen.
"baby, maine bola rona mat" his voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I don't even know when I had started to cry and now tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"pch, Roshni" he pulls me to his body, I hide my head his shoulders crying.
My mom was torn after that, losing her son, then her husband who brought all sunshine in my mom's life. Mom's life truly changed after bringing papa into her life, and her beautiful life shattered when my dad was dead.
I bet papa was this soft and patient one who knew how to handle her, he knew how to mend her and make her fall in love with him. He knew how to crack her hard shell.
I could literally imagine them now, if he had been alive. My mom would be stressing over a meeting which would not be happening for the next couple months and dad would be running behind her wanting to calm her down.
Or my mom being the tough yet emotional one would be crying now, since i'm married and dad would be sitting next to her, holding in his arms, comforting her. Everyone knew my mom as the hard one but when I got married and during the time of my bidaai, I knew everyone, including me, were wrong.
For the first time I saw tears in her eyes, and they weren't fake. They held so much intensity which broke me so much. And after Nani telling me that she had cried the whole night and refused to eat the next morning for feeling 'guilty' for not showing the motherly love for me, I was feeling guilt is really an understatement.
I felt way too guilty for not understanding her emotions. I wasn't at the position to blame her for not being the mother, when even I never did my duties as a daughter. As a daughter I couldn't see the wall she built, and I couldn't break it.
I never ever held my responsibilities as a daughter and now because of that she is in trouble. Everyone is in trouble.
"who is in trouble?" I hear his voice ask and I sigh knowing I spoke out loud.
There's no running from this, I have to tell him everything and I have to tell him now, right now. So, here it goes, "everyone" I state meeting his eyes slowly not knowing what is the reaction I would get.
His eyebrows draw closer together, "everyone?"
"yes" I lower my eyes, "our families".
"Roshni" he lifts my chin using his finger making me look at his dark brown eyes, the ones I could always lost. "kya hua sabko?"
"they're..."
"they're what?"
"they're... kidnapped...and" I trail off not knowing how to say further.
"kidnapped?!" he sounded alarmed. I slowly nod my head. He shuts his eyes, clenching his fists tightly. I can sense him controlling his anger for my sake. I place my hand on him feeling his knuckles soften under my touch.
"and?" he asks gritting his teeth, his eyes slowly opening.
"uh... and...they'll..." I say biting my lower lip.
"and they'll what, baby?" I look up at him, his eyes boring into mine. He's really trying his best to not burst off.
"and..." I really don't know how to tell it to him.
"Roshni, and what?" he asks his voice showing that his getting irritated by me.
"and... they'll..."
"and they'll what?!" he yells making me jump in fear. His eyes were widened, grew so dark and he looked so angry. "and they'll what, Roshni?" he asked, his voice low and honestly scary.
"a...and..." I start to stutter seeing the intensity in his eyes.
"Roshni i'm trying to be patient here and you're making it worse... i'm asking this one last time... and they'll what?"
"and they'll-" I stop myself since my voice came out so quiet. Clearing my throat I look down and say it.
"they'll be..." I mumble him the whole sentence slowly, clearly scared for his reaction. I'd was wrong when I said he was angry before and now he looks livid, his eyes are really dark, his jaw is tightly clenched. And I jumped again us he yelled.
"WHAT?!"
Why did she have a need to pretend to lose her memory and fake her handicap? There must be a reason.
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