Originally posted by: lechuarshi
Holy moly. I read the chapters and took a break in between. Damn it Arpita u r just blessed with creativity lol😂. Khushi and Arnav need therapy. ASAP. Our family concept (the whole Indian subcontinent in general) is such that talking to a phycologist or therapist r frowned upon. I don't know how many of u guys knew about this “Good girl syndrome “. I had this problem of pleasing people, family, society and in their scale of good girl means sacrificing many things untill it became too much and affected me mentally. Secretly went to a therapist and she said this thing. Took me around 2 years to be free again and all the toxicity (family, relations, friends and society). I see a part of myself in Khushi and I cried, If she was real person I would surely contact her and pull her out of this toxicity and people pleasing mentality. Because that is how our surroundings mould our personality. I used to climb trees, step inside well to retrieve ball, used to be the monkey of gang the most extroverted on in my childhood but guess what as years passed by with big scrutiny from all around, don't know how I turned into silent, shy and introvert. Khushi's transformation from mischievous teenager to shy adult (conditioning). Now coming to Arnav-I hate infedlity for whatever reason or situation. AS an adult human being if u r in a committed relationship falling in love or falling out of love is all personal preference but end it before pursing ur chemical reaction. Yep I am science geek so I view everything in rational way lol. Arnav got attracted to La because of his rational brain shut down when he is high on dopamine. Why dopamine may be because he enjoyed many trips and trecking which brings a sense of Nirvana and if La is also in his company then Lust is involved there. Blame his hypothalamus. While our Khushi on other hand was all oxytocin (attachment) and high becuase if we need to be in monogamous relationship bonding need to be high. 😭😭 Sorry for boring u wid this subject. But f#ck my rational self. I am no way in hell going to support his coward ways at the end of the day. And I will surely puke while reading abt La and Ar. Who send pictures to Khushi? PAYAL 👀 oops sorry it must be La, her dirty dishwasher Ma, or some secret admirer. I love how Khushi's character development post her separation. Some people have strong maternal sense some don't. And what hurt her the most was women like Khushi dreams to have baby with the man they love. It is more of emotional reasons, to create and carry the child of the man u love or respect.
Thanks to Spark for story suggestion. She spammed me with mail to read this lol🤣 it's been years I read some gripping arshi stories (parinay, the filigreed sun by serial junkie must read and political drama by averio where Khushi sleep with SMJ to gain information and gave it to arnav and the worst part was he was OK with that, hopes and ambitions by Shweta).
I hope Khushi move on (with a partner or without a partner is completely on her) u r just 29 girl, life is just amazing to experience new things and finding love again is not an issue. 4 billion male species r in our globe. Go watch shefali shah's "Once again". It's all about finding love in 40s. Must watch
Hey lechuarshi,
I love your thoughts on “Good girl syndrome" with Indian or I would call it Asian girls, we are brought up that way to respect elders, dress in a particular way, don't answer back, the timings of goning in & out, whom to talk and whom not to, as woman additional rules and regulations etc. Some of them could be due to safety issues, but in general girls are expected to conduct themselves in a certain way especially after marriage to please and survive in their in-laws house.
But I doubt this Khushi has “Good girl syndrome", if yes then she would have done everything to please Arnav whom she loved the most and only person with whom she was staying (Parents lived separate). Actually the distance made her realize and she was regretting not involving more in Arnav's life and be with him more... I strongly feel she had low self esteem syndrome and hence developed insecurities. Plus she had tremendous sense of responsibility towards parents, even Arnav had it too and in fact he rubbed it on her by initially making everything about his responsibilies towards his family, but he later changed his priorities and she didn't or couldn't.
Again as a child, Khushi was fair, gorgeous so many others around her could be simply jealous and taunted her about being thin and how she needs to be stronger to carry a baby in her womb in future... So somewhere she has thought about it as a young, naive girl and dreamed about a baby long long ago... It's just heartbreaking to see he denied her primal right as a woman without proper explanation or reasoning... First time somewhere she also built resentment, maybe even further insecurities that he doesn't want babies with her or something (He was happy when his sis or friends had babies and even enjoyed playing with their babies but denied her always bluntly and it wasn't up for discussions also making her feel further lonely and run to the environment she was familiar with)... Unfortunately since the story is from Arnav's perspective, so some of major feelings from Khushi's side are not addressed or maybe in future they will come forward... But in spite of cheating, not understanding the woman who was always there for him and treating her so brutally, this man manages to earn sympathy and treated as equal victim of situation.. When I thought about it yesterday, I was apalled thinking I was always looking to cut him some slack...
In arrange marriages people can be different as cheese and chalk.. Surprisingly these two were initially compatible so quickly with low expectations, understood each others needs and enjoyed their struggle days by giving each other shoulders... They had differences but they were still pretty much fine for 9 years... If Arnav enjoyed showing his success by throwing or attending parties, she too was not much behind.. She had designed her house luxuriously, wearing designer sarees and jwellery etc. and attending important parties while he helping her in NGO..
Had they communicated properly, especially Arnav since he was the one not buzzing and built resentment, clear communicaton between them and then with parents would have resolved the problems for sure.. He was the older and dominating one in the relationship, had he explained her to work things out together along with counselling, like he is proposing now after cheating, things would have sorted out just fine... Most important she deserved proper explanation on why he did not want a baby instead of being imposed and expected to sacrifice her biggest desire of life! But he went further, chose cruel route of cheating / finding his own happiness outside marriage while being in marriage, never understood his wife properly (he needed Payal and the love note even after living with her for 10 years, shame on him... while she understood his reluctance to have baby, stayed on pills and waited for 10 years and willing to give it up permanently) and by the time she ultimately realized and decided to expresse her choice was only him, it was too late...
Edited by SwatStar_Arshi - 1 years ago
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