Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 2 | thread 3 link posted on page 150 - Page 22

Shyamidutt, I would put the timeline for the affair starting more in the September or earlier, possibly late summer based on her October 2015 thoughts. They tried for a baby for a few months and then gradually nothing. Now I don’t know when the physical intimacy started but some sort of a relationship started forming in my mind before October and he planned for the divorce for months. To me that means more than from November to the middle of December. Does months mean 2 and a half months (October to mid December) or longer; August or September to mid December? At any rate he had his lawyer all lined up and his reasons ready to spring on Khushi.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Oh yes I understand that, but two things:

Firstly: their distance prior to cheating is not one persons fault. When you say Arnav started ignoring her prior to Nov 2015 you have already placed the blame at his door.

Second: His ignorance prior to Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015 has a different tone. When Khushi returns from Lucknow to talk to him about the anniversary party he can barely meet her eyes. He looks at her and looks through her because looking at her hurts. But prior to that, his ignorance was not of this kind. Look at the way Khushi talks about their distance before Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015. It is subtle but it’s there, the difference and hence my conclusion.

Once again, time lapse fics do trouble me and I have not gone back to reading and confirming my opinions, but this just how I believe things panned out after the first read. For all I know, I may be wrong and there *was* emotional cheating involved.

Hey there, I would highly recommend you read the comments below every chapter and the responses by Arpita, she has clarified so many things.. Your assumption that khushi didn’t try enough or was not assertive is not correct… khushi did take lead after their last argument, avoided talking about the baby, initiated other talks, asking him to return to their bedroom etc. but Arnav completely dropped the ball by refusing to buzz.. first time they didn’t talk about a week in March 2023, but when he reached hospital to see Lehrer, khushi still acted normal and nice to him… it was Arnav who detached himself from her as well as his own family… they both are healthy and can have baby, but he chose not to have one without any proper explanation or read and fist time khushi countered his choice… Arnav was happy when his sister or friends had kids and he’s even fond of Lehrer so khushi must be feeling insecure why he doesn’t want kids with her?? Even Arnav’s mom has expressed her desire for grandchildren during their marriage talks, but we will know more in upcoming chapters… I highly recommend you read comments along with the chapters

I appreciate your point of view and accept that that is definitely one perspective. I also think I misused the word ethical, when in fact I was not talking about ethics but morality.

But bear with me, I am looking at Arnav and Khushi as a therapist might. Not my place to judge, but to try and understand what led them to their decisions. Thats all.

I also think there are quite a few assumptions in there, where you say Arnav ghosted her. But do you know why? I don’t think that part of the story is not out yet. Perhaps he felt there would be no way out of it. Perhaps he thought he could never be convinced otherwise. Perhaps he knew Khushi would never accept a divorce without a fight, and he did not want that fight? In his head, he was possibly trying to save her from hurt, and it ended up doing the exact opposite. You say its unethical for him to not talk to his partner. But what exactly are ethics between a couple? Ethics are supposed to be unchanging rules of a society. What if he did it to save/help her? Does that make him bad person even if he is being “unethical” in the strictest terms of definition. I think there are so many nuances between a couple and most of them are in play here. Arnav has always always taken decisions for her. But it never *seemed* unethical in the past because it kept Khushi happy, but now that one of his choices/decisions is not making Khushi happy, the same behavior is unethical? I think ethics of the society, do not have a place in between a couple. A couple defines their rules between themselves. There are boundaries partners set with each other and they are all different from one couple to another. But, that is my point of view and it is not set in stone. I will let life experience guide me gently. :)

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I appreciate your point of view and accept that that is definitely one perspective. I also think I misused the word ethical, when in fact I was not talking about ethics but morality.

But bear with me, I am looking at Arnav and Khushi as a therapist might. Not my place to judge, but to try and understand what led them to their decisions. Thats all.

I also think there are quite a few assumptions in there, where you say Arnav ghosted her. But do you know why? I don’t think that part of the story is not out yet. Perhaps he felt there would be no way out of it. Perhaps he thought he could never be convinced otherwise. Perhaps he knew Khushi would never accept a divorce without a fight, and he did not want that fight? In his head, he was possibly trying to save her from hurt, and it ended up doing the exact opposite. You say its unethical for him to not talk to his partner. But what exactly are ethics between a couple? Ethics are supposed to be unchanging rules of a society. What if he did it to save/help her? Does that make him bad person even if he is being “unethical” in the strictest terms of definition. I think there are so many nuances between a couple and most of them are in play here. Arnav has always always taken decisions for her. But it never *seemed* unethical in the past because it kept Khushi happy, but now that one of his choices/decisions is not making Khushi happy, the same behavior is unethical? I think ethics of the society, do not have a place in between a couple. A couple defines their rules between themselves. There are boundaries partners set with each other and they are all different from one couple to another. But, that is my point of view and it is not set in stone. I will let life experience guide me gently. :)

let’s forget society, ethics and all those big things, he knew she had been trying to break the ice between them for a while and in fact he offered to try for a baby looking at Khushi’s happiness with Leher, he did what to do that’s cheating and then manipulated to his benefit or convinced himself that even she’s unhappy and wants divorce because he wanted it… the biggest problem happened because his assumptions turned out to be completely wrong.. why assume, simply ask or explain along with family.. he is offering counseling, discussions to save the marriage after cheating and filing divorce, really??? Why didn’t he do it before? There is no excuse for treating anyone as if they don’t exist or ghost them, it’s always wrong.. and he was prepared if Khushi was not going to accept divorce without fight, what he couldn’t accept was when she easily agreed to divorce without any fuss..

Hello!

Let me first say that I have actually read one of your fanfics on Arshi and I am a big fan! Your Khushi is always sorted and shown as a character that can hold her own and I love that. I loved both of your post-Sheetal tracks and it gave my Arnav’s redemption craving mind a lot of comfort during the pandemic :) Thank you for the stories, and I hope you would write more :)


As for your suggestion about reading the comments before, I honestly am avoiding that because I do not want them to color my opinions. And perhaps the author has explained and clarified a lot of instances, but I would rather let the story clarify those stances, just to keep my reading experience real, so please pardon me on that front :)

“khushi did take lead after their last argument, avoided talking about the baby, initiated other talks, asking him to return to their bedroom etc. but Arnav completely dropped the ball by refusing to buzz.”

“it was Arnav who detached himself from her as well as his own family… they both are healthy and can have baby, but he chose not to have one without any proper explanation or read and fist time khushi countered his choice…”

From my first and only read of the chapters so far, I do not remember reading about “Khushi taking the lead”. I recall a scene where she asked Arnav to come back to the study, but Arnav refused and Khushi gave up immediately. But I think there is fair amount of assumptions when you say Arnav refused to buzz: we do not know that. And we do not know why he behaved that way either. I think all the blanks are yet to be filled.

Arnav’s decision to not have a baby is extremely hurtful to Khushi, but I think it is also unfair to him to have a baby “just because they can” when he is not ready for it. Imagine the life of that baby if he cannot stand up to the duties of a father? A lot of people let fears get better of them, and there are ways to get over them: counselling/therapy. But just because Arnav refused to have a baby does not mean he dropped the ball, in my opinion.

The biggest ball he dropped is cheating!

As I said before, I am just trying not to take sides, and judge them, but to view what’s happening as a therapist might. I hope that clarifies a bit of what I have been saying :)

Yes, You Know Who, that is exactly why he took the decisions that he did. He knew Khushi would fight the divorce and he was willing to use infidelity to get his way. He was done. He did think he was doing it for her own good. She could move on and maybe, for example, have children he was unwilling to give her. In fact, he refused to even discuss it and rather than force the discussion she like always, to her detriment, didn’t force it. I have said many times I don’t judge him for not wanting children. It was the way he refused to even discuss it with Khushi that was wrong. He was unhappy so she must be too. He characterized himself as having fallen out of love with Khushi. His actions, setting aside the adultery, I believe were immoral, unethical, whatever you want to call it. He was willing to be cruel, run from his problems like was his habit to control the situation. As was mentioned, Khushi was willing to talk and he knew it. But he quit trying. He gave up on a 10 year old marriage most of which seemed happy. I understand what you are saying and I agree by and large your assessment of Arnav. But even understanding his psych doesn’t make it morally or ethically right. I can understand why an abused child grows up to be an abuser but that doesn’t make it alright.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Hello!

Let me first say that I have actually read one of your fanfics on Arshi and I am a big fan! Your Khushi is always sorted and shown as a character that can hold her own and I love that. I loved both of your post-Sheetal tracks and it gave my Arnav’s redemption craving mind a lot of comfort during the pandemic :) Thank you for the stories, and I hope you would write more :)


As for your suggestion about reading the comments before, I honestly am avoiding that because I do not want them to color my opinions. And perhaps the author has explained and clarified a lot of instances, but I would rather let the story clarify those stances, just to keep my reading experience real, so please pardon me on that front :)

“khushi did take lead after their last argument, avoided talking about the baby, initiated other talks, asking him to return to their bedroom etc. but Arnav completely dropped the ball by refusing to buzz.”

“it was Arnav who detached himself from her as well as his own family… they both are healthy and can have baby, but he chose not to have one without any proper explanation or read and fist time khushi countered his choice…”

From my first and only read of the chapters so far, I do not remember reading about “Khushi taking the lead”. I recall a scene where she asked Arnav to come back to the study, but Arnav refused and Khushi gave up immediately. But I think there is fair amount of assumptions when you say Arnav refused to buzz: we do not know that. And we do not know why he behaved that way either. I think all the blanks are yet to be filled.

Arnav’s decision to not have a baby is extremely hurtful to Khushi, but I think it is also unfair to him to have a baby “just because they can” when he is not ready for it. Imagine the life of that baby if he cannot stand up to the duties of a father? A lot of people let fears get better of them, and there are ways to get over them: counselling/therapy. But just because Arnav refused to have a baby does not mean he dropped the ball, in my opinion.

The biggest ball he dropped is cheating!

As I said before, I am just trying not to take sides, and judge them, but to view what’s happening as a therapist might. I hope that clarifies a bit of what I have been saying :)

ty so much for appreciating my stories, thankfully they are not this complicated… My stories are very simple, I always prefer Khushi to learn, adapt and stay positive, and most importantly she keeps Arnav grounded.. the IPKKND Khushi is always positive, smiling and a go getter and that’s what we women are too.. by the way for Arpita’s resurgence, read her comments, most of your questions addressed by her already 👍

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

let’s forget society, ethics and all those big things, he knew she had been trying to break the ice between them for a while and in fact he offered to try for a baby looking at Khushi’s happiness with Leher, he did what to do that’s cheating and then manipulated to his benefit or convinced himself that even she’s unhappy and wants divorce because he wanted it…

….Orrrrrr…..he realized that Khushi is not happy in the life he is living. She does not enjoy the high society, the life of money he enjoys. There is really no common activity for them to enjoy, as a result they are both lonely and are not spending enough time together. And Khushi visited Lucknow quite a few times, even Ratna was surprised that she visited so often, so there is a situation where they are both lonely and unhappy. Arnav, as the *responsible* person he is, *thinks* it is his fault that he cannot keep Khushi happy. When Leher is born, for the first time he sees Khushi being genuinely happy and thinks oh may be if he just compromised, things would go back? He would never be onboard truly for reasons yet unknown, but he *should* do it for Khushi. He gave up college, money, comfort for his family, but this was where the camel’s back broke? Then he realized he would never be able to keep Khushi happy, it is a personal failure. And hence everything unraveled from there. And the decisions he took after that, the cheating (maybe it was *caused* by self loathing…we don’t know yet.)

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

the biggest problem happened because his assumptions turned out to be completely wrong.. why assume, simply ask or explain along with family.. he is offering counseling, discussions to save the marriage after cheating and filing divorce, really??? Why didn’t he do it before? There is no excuse for treating anyone as if they don’t exist or ghost them, it’s always wrong.. and he was prepared if Khushi was not going to accept divorce without fight, what he couldn’t accept was when she easily agreed to divorce without any fuss..

He is offering counselling/discussions now. Because *now* he knows not the baby but *he* makes Khushi happy. And its a last ditch effort and selfish and wrong, but he is offering it now because he wants to make her happy, anything to get away from how fragile and hurt she is by his actions.

When you say why assume and do it? Why because he has done it all his life and has never been wrong. A person breaks a traffic light at the night daily and has never had an accident so it becomes a habit. But one day, one night, a he gets into a terrible accident that ruins his life.

Anyway, I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Not that he is not wrong. But just trying to understand what must have gone in his mind, trying to assume good intent. Ofcourse, I am only assuming, but hey, its another point of view, right?

But I am not trying to say he is right. I am just trying to *understand* him. That’s all. :)

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

….Orrrrrr…..he realized that Khushi is not happy in the life he is living. She does not enjoy the high society, the life of money he enjoys. There is really no common activity for them to enjoy, as a result they are both lonely and are not spending enough time together. And Khushi visited Lucknow quite a few times, even Ratna was surprised that she visited so often, so there is a situation where they are both lonely and unhappy. Arnav, as the *responsible* person he is, *thinks* it is his fault that he cannot keep Khushi happy. When Leher is born, for the first time he sees Khushi being genuinely happy and thinks oh may be if he just compromised, things would go back? He would never be onboard truly for reasons yet unknown, but he *should* do it for Khushi. He gave up college, money, comfort for his family, but this was where the camel’s back broke? Then he realized he would never be able to keep Khushi happy, it is a personal failure. And hence everything unraveled from there. And the decisions he took after that, the cheating (maybe it was *caused* by self loathing…we don’t know yet.)

He is offering counselling/discussions now. Because *now* he knows not the baby but *he* makes Khushi happy. And its a last ditch effort and selfish and wrong, but he is offering it now because he wants to make her happy, anything to get away from how fragile and hurt she is by his actions.

When you say why assume and do it? Why because he has done it all his life and has never been wrong. A person breaks a traffic light at the night daily and has never had an accident so it becomes a habit. But one day, one night, a he gets into a terrible accident that ruins his life.

Anyway, I hope you understand what I am trying to say. Not that he is not wrong. But just trying to understand what must have gone in his mind, trying to assume good intent. Ofcourse, I am only assuming, but hey, its another point of view, right?

An astute businessman taking life’s most important Decision based on assumptions??? Are you even serious??? Where did his logic, staying ahead and finding insights, accurately analyze the situation and then take the decisions go?? He took the decision because he had already moved on, had a new woman and suited his agenda to get out of domesticity… One must discuss properly with all involved parties giving them opportunity to represent themselves, isn’t it? Your other question or assumptions are already addressed by Arpita 😉😉