Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 2 | thread 3 link posted on page 150 - Page 21

Hi Shyami,

Thank you for your kind comment. I am glad my thoughts resonate with you. As for the writer bit, I used to write ages ago, but no, I don’t write anymore!

I agree with you that infidelity is not black or white, well at-least not in this case. As I said before, one persons red flags are another person’s green. A lot of it has to do with how you grow up and how your life has shaped up in the formative years as well. Perception is everything in the world. That’s why a country like America can vote for Donald Trump as President. Nothing is really black or white in life and I am just learning that right about now in my life as well :)

You Know Who, Arnav started ignoring her before November of 2015. In October of 2015 while she is in Lucknow she is recallling Lehre’s birth weeks before and how she had not seen him for awhile nor been in touch with him. They were becoming strangers. He had started distancing himself even then. And it stated in one of the chapters he had been preparing for the divorce for monthS. He was leaving town more frequently over those periods of more than a month. Also he was sleeping in the room next to his study more frequently.

My guess is he started getting involved with Lavenya during those times and started pulling back from Khushi. I don’t know when the affair got physical but he was involved with Lavenya for more than a month and started planning the divorce before November.

And God forbid, not all of us voted for the horrible human named Donald Trump. Yes, as I already stated in one of my earlier posts, I am a non Indian American with family ties to India. So I guess, I bring a westernized, fairly liberal approach to this story as befitting an older auntie.

Oh yes I understand that, but two things:

Firstly: their distance prior to cheating is not one persons fault. When you say Arnav started ignoring her prior to Nov 2015 you have already placed the blame at his door.

Second: His ignorance prior to Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015 has a different tone. When Khushi returns from Lucknow to talk to him about the anniversary party he can barely meet her eyes. He looks at her and looks through her because looking at her hurts. But prior to that, his ignorance was not of this kind. Look at the way Khushi talks about their distance before Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015. It is subtle but it’s there, the difference and hence my conclusion.

Once again, time lapse fics do trouble me and I have not gone back to reading and confirming my opinions, but this just how I believe things panned out after the first read. For all I know, I may be wrong and there *was* emotional cheating involved.

You Know Who, I don’t know when the physical happened, maybe it was November but I think some kind of emotional bonding happened months before that which led to his planning the divorce. Not because of Lavenya but because if he could bond with Lavenya he felt he no longer loved Khushi as he says and the marriage was over. As Arpita I believe once confirmed, Khushi was spending time in Lucknow but not weeks on end and it seemed to be when he was out of town. I said in a previous post Khushi foolishly did not push back when the distance started. And Arnav says himself that if he reached out to Khushi she would respond immediately with no rancor but by that time he was done with the marriage. I think she always let Arnav take the lead in their relationship and did so here. By the time of their tenth anniversary when she did reach out with the torn note it was too late. So yes, Khushi was foolish to not try and respond sooner but I do think he is majorly at fault. He gave up first, planned a divorce for months and had an affair to boot.

I don’t think he ever felt anything remotely for Lavenya that he felt for Khushi and Anamika before her. Rather something substantial happened with her and Manali which made him go off her. I am unsure why Lavenya is grieving and why Manali says he has been unavailable to Lavenya. I am concerned about that and my imagination is running to dark thoughts.

I’m still holding out on he doesn’t actually have a *bond* with Lavanya. Maybe I am just being delusional but every time I have heard his thoughts on Lavanya or had him speak to Lavanya there is a contempt in his tone. He has never thought or spoken about Khushi that way. Or about any other woman in his life for that matter.

As exciting as it is to discuss conjecture, I think all this discussion has made me wonder whether I am ready for the next few chapters or not. This story takes an emotional toll!

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

I’m still holding out on he doesn’t actually have a *bond* with Lavanya. Maybe I am just being delusional but every time I have heard his thoughts on Lavanya or had him speak to Lavanya there is a contempt in his tone. He has never thought or spoken about Khushi that way. Or about any other woman in his life for that matter.

As exciting as it is to discuss conjecture, I think all this discussion has made me wonder whether I am ready for the next few chapters or not. This story takes an emotional toll!

I feel the same. Just because lavanya knew about the divorce doesn't mean Arnav willingly told her about it. I still feel there is some hold that lavanya excercise on him in some way. And once divorce was filed Arnav just brushed her aside

Guys, another two three hours. Sleep if you need to. Was just here to give you a progress report :/

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

You Know Who, I don’t know when the physical happened, maybe it was November but I think some kind of emotional bonding happened months before that which led to his planning the divorce. Not because of Lavenya but because if he could bond with Lavenya he felt he no longer loved Khushi as he says and the marriage was over. As Arpita I believe once confirmed, Khushi was spending time in Lucknow but not weeks on end and it seemed to be when he was out of town. I said in a previous post Khushi foolishly did not push back when the distance started. And Arnav says himself that if he reached out to Khushi she would respond immediately with no rancor but by that time he was done with the marriage. I think she always let Arnav take the lead in their relationship and did so here. By the time of their tenth anniversary when she did reach out with the torn note it was too late. So yes, Khushi was foolish to not try and respond sooner but I do think he is majorly at fault. He gave up first, planned a divorce for months and had an affair to boot.

I don’t think he ever felt anything remotely for Lavenya that he felt for Khushi and Anamika before her. Rather something substantial happened with her and Manali which made him go off her. I am unsure why Lavenya is grieving and why Manali says he has been unavailable to Lavenya. I am concerned about that and my imagination is running to dark thoughts.

Replying to this post again because I think I missed out on your second edit and only replied to the first edit.

Yes, I can see that as a conclusion of how things may have panned out. That he may have had something with Lavanya. And it was definitely foolish of Khushi to let him take the reign, the thing that is most heart wrenching is though is that, that is all Khushi knew. She knows devotion and that’s all she can do because she has never tried being assertive with him, always accommodating. Now, he went ahead and changed the rules of the game, the poor girl never saw it coming.

I totally and completely understand the overwhelming hurt and sympathy people feel for Khushi. So far it looks like, all she did was give it her all, devoted herself to him in a way no one can, and what did she really get out of it? I actually had tears in my eyes while reading when Khushi goes to Devi Maiyya’s temple after returning and says “Every time, Devi Maiyaa, Every time!”

@Bold:

I am totally with you that his infidelity is a big big blunder which automatically makes him the bearer of major responsibility of the state of their marriage today. But I do not agree with you when you say, “He gave up first, planned a divorce for months” are the reasons he is majorly at fault. I think when someone indulges in infidelity, we get overwhelmed and assign blame for everything that went wrong on one door. In any circumstance, giving up first/planning a divorce does not automatically mean he is a bad person. If you pause time until and before Arnav cheated (thereby eliminating the bias that cheating automatically brings to the table), I believe you would see that giving up first and planning a divorce are not unethical things, neither are they immoral. Every person has their limit and just because someone’s limit is shorter than the other, does not automatically make him a bad person.

I mentioned that earlier in one of my comments as well. It is no surprise that he gave up first over Khushi. He has been sacrificing all his life against his comfort and wants and he knows it. As for Khushi, she does not *know* she is sacrificing anything. The way she devotes herself to Arnav is all she knows. We, as the third person can see what she has given up for Arnav. Arnav can see it. But she does not. Her nurture and nature make it almost impossible for her to assert herself or to have an individuality, or a hobby outside of Arnav. She ran a successful NGO, and yet she had no qualms giving it up right at the moment her carefully constructed world went to shit. Don’t get me wrong, I am not placing the fault at her door for giving up her NGO. I think anyone would have wanted to run away from it all. But I gave the NGO example as a testament to where her priorities are in life. It was not as important to her as Arnav and never could be and that is who she is as a person. Choosing to love Arnav beyond her means is not an effort or a sacrifice for her.

But the point I am trying to make is that giving up first does not make someone bad/worse than other. Divorce/breakup are such messy topics that a person will automatically choose a side. I am trying really hard to not choose one side right now, or perhaps ever. Let’s see how long I can stick to it :)

You Know Who, we will soon find out what happened and I am nervous. But I think you and I have a different idea on what is ethical. I don’t believe it is ethical to ghost your partner without letting them know that you are so unhappy you are planning a divorce. Are unwilling to talk to them even though you know they will try and fight for the marriage and that she still loves you. And plan the divorce months in advance, tell other people including your paramour and keep her in the dark, spring it on her the day after your 10th wedding anniversary and be willing to use your infidelity as a means to get a quick divorce. Khushi bears some fault but Arnav is unethical, dishonest. I don’t care what he has sacrificed. He says himself he is willing to become scum to live his life his way. Well, maybe he called himself right.

Originally posted by: You-Know-Who

Oh yes I understand that, but two things:

Firstly: their distance prior to cheating is not one persons fault. When you say Arnav started ignoring her prior to Nov 2015 you have already placed the blame at his door.

Second: His ignorance prior to Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015 has a different tone. When Khushi returns from Lucknow to talk to him about the anniversary party he can barely meet her eyes. He looks at her and looks through her because looking at her hurts. But prior to that, his ignorance was not of this kind. Look at the way Khushi talks about their distance before Nov 2015 and after Nov 2015. It is subtle but it’s there, the difference and hence my conclusion.

Once again, time lapse fics do trouble me and I have not gone back to reading and confirming my opinions, but this just how I believe things panned out after the first read. For all I know, I may be wrong and there *was* emotional cheating involved.

You are right. I went back to the previous chapters to double check (yes we are OBSESSED 😂) the timeline and noted that March 2015 was when Leher was born and they tried a few times for the baby in the succeeding months so it had to be the October/November timeline of the affair so it couldn’t have been long and now after you put all these thoughts in my brain I think the reason that Lavanya knows about the divorce is because she was scared that her brief whatever it is with Arnav might affect her career as he is the producer and she the actress ?? And they discussed that?