SwaRon One Shot: Her Damaged Armory
She has this fine quality of being a sadist.
I was one of the first few people who discovered the reason behind why you'd have to lift your eyes up from your textbook because Sharon wanted you to see how she turned you into a public joke. If I may say so myself, I am a very qualified outcast because these few people who have made this humiliating discovery are mainly just me. What you see beneath her efforts to be brutal, to behave around you like you are a parasitic human being, living off her father's money are what her substance is.
She shielded her sentiment under this very thick layer of ego. There wasn't any possibility of another Sharon living underneath it, not one who'd want to be unleashed. She was happy being who she was until I was intrigued by what she was guarding so hard, so hard she'd be someone she isn't, something that was so precious, she was ready to have loathsome feelings for herself as long as it was safe? I figured, it was her very conscience, her heart, if we get touchy, which we do.
I figured it was devoid of any malice, whatsoever. She wouldn't divulge her true identity because every night she went to bed, commanding the very last shred of her cover-up to stay where it was. She hadn't known there were other things, or just me to be specific that could put her off her guard apart from her sleep. When I looked through the cover-up and she was fully awake, I hoped everyday she'd realize I knew her for what she was. Maybe she did, but she would never admit it.
I believe, she has a customized character, like she plans first thing in the morning to behave in which fashion with whom at college, as though she calculates while brushing her teeth how many times she is going to insult me in a day and how many times it is morally okay to. She hasn't changed, even after ripping my little desire to develop our own college romance to shards, she did not change. But the guard has dissolved, these tactics, all the fights she would take up just to make sure I am still as much in love with her as before, they don't work on me, so, the past tense I have been using. She hasn't changed, but there's change, some change mere mortal creatures can only wish to understand, it's Sharon for you.
It is as though she is an arsenal of weapons that have stopped working properly, like her sentiment is a damaged armory, like she'd give anything to be repaired. I have always tried to be the one who does that. Honestly, you think someone else, anyone else can hold with her heavy-duty tantrums and the responsibility of an exotic wild animal on the loose? I will have to make peace with not being able to withhold her expectation.
I do not know of the horrors that may have handicapped her ability to see love around her. I am sure she senses me. All I know is, her guard displays her vulnerability, and it is symbolic as though one morning I'd turn up to college and everyone including me would have a face reminiscent to that of a pig, and then no one would really be worthy of what she so efficiently protects. There must be an extra-large heart under that extra-notched clothing, something that deserves all the protection it gets. After all, everyone who knows people could be mean lives an excruciating life because it is them, the same people you have to live in the vicinity of. I know I won't hurt her. She doesn't. Therefore, we are nothing to each other, not now and I would refrain from saying 'not yet'.
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-Savage
Anupamaa
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