Arnav, Anjali and Khushi Losing a parent - Page 8

Originally posted by: KaushalyaFan

Hi ccuteaangel,

I can't thank you enough for your generous words and your kindness at this time of my life when I have very little to be happy for. Your words bring me peace which I badly need right now. I hope you never have to undergo this loss, yet I feel even though you have not been through the loss of losing a mother, you can relate to my pain and you do understand it perfectly and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.

Yes, breast cancer is a curse that hit my family and in particular my mother pretty hard. The last 15 days of my life I watched her suffer quietly in pain and agony and I just had to watch her slowly die in front of me. It got so bad that eventually when she did take her last breath in front of me I literally saw no traces of pain on her face. I knew she was gone from my life. But I also knew that she was now pain free. Every day that I breathe I always am aware of the fact that though I can't bring her back she is pain free wherever she is. I know the horrible disease can no longer ravage her body bit by bit. She is like a dove free to go wherever she wants even if it is away from me and my life.

But I do feel so empty without her. When she found out she had breast cancer and was sick, I made sure when she was still OK to tell her that I loved her everyday. She always said "Love you," back. I did that every morning and every chance I got. I tried very hard to keep her happy. Even later when she was drugged up with morphine I always told her I loved her. I don't know if she could hear me, but I said it everyday anyway even if she didn't hear it. About two days before she died, she told my dad to call my sister and me to her. By then she had lost most of her speech. We ran to her room but she said nothing and the morphine had once again kicked in and she was sound asleep. I knew then it was good bye.

A couple of days before she died she knew she didn't have much time, so she told my dad, "If you let me go, I'll go, but you have to let go of me," He was just so sad but, he loved her so much so he whispered in her ear, "I am letting you go, he said, with a heavy heart, "Go and be free." And two days later she was gone. She'd said her good byes. I don't know how she spoke when she had lost her speech. But even in that she showed me that she cared about us and didn't want to leave abruptly. But it still didn't prepare us for the eventuality of her passing.

I loved what you said about your grandfather. You were truly blessed to know him. Yes, I'm sure he is always watching over you and protecting you like a guardian angel who is in your heart. Your generous and sweet words give me hope that me mother too is with me in my heart. I want her to be happy wherever she is and hope that that is the case.

I have to tell you this you are a very sweet and kind soul and it is my privilege to know you. May God always watch over you and may you always be happy and may all your dreams come true. You are a nice sweet angel and I truly believe it. Thank you for taking the time to provide me with comfort in my time of need. That is what angels do and to me you are one not just in name only but in action you have shown me what a kind loving person you are. Always be happy and always keep smiling. May all your dreams come true. You deserve only the best life has to offer.

Thank you for your kinds words about my mother. Yes she is beautiful both inside and out. My mother and I had a long running joke. I'd always tell her how beautiful she looked and she would just looked at me and say "Oh really, I was born beautiful," it always made me laugh and today it makes smile. She would always laugh at the end.

Kindest regards to you,

KF

Originally posted by: nyxx

Hey! Just came across this today, and just by reading youre post, Youve opened my eyes to not just become a better daughter to my parents, but to understand the grief that you, or the fictional characters of Arnav, Khushi, Anjali go through. Its true that you only feel and realize the grief if youve gone through it. I really hope that youre moms soul is in peace, and for you, I'll pray that God is always by youre side :)

The way youve expressed the sides to all three characters is marvelous, and Ive started to look at them with a different viewpoint now. I dont know if you know what I mean, but its like saying I was only looking at one side of the coin and not the other. But afterall the coin does have two sides. All three characters have suffered similiar but theyve coped different. Be it Khushi believing that her biological parents are with her as stars, or as Arnav not just simply expressing his warmth (though I know he does have emotions and he's not bipolar for sure :) ) or Anjali relying on people for support. Loveddd youre post alot! I really hope that if the creatives do read youre post, then, they should definitely take a few ideas and perhaps, progress towards this. Id love to see moree emotional scenes between all three of them.

Nice post! Take care :)

- Dee

Originally posted by: ccuteaangel

Your mother sounds like such a lovely person and your father must be so strong to be able to do what he did, saying goodbye can be the hardest thing, but he did it for your mother, to give her peace of mind, to let her know that he was going to be okay because he knew it was what she needed to hear.

I am so sorry that you had to go through all that, I think death is one of those things that remains better when it in unpredictable, edging closer and closer to it only makes it so much harder for everyone. I can only admire your strength for being able to deal with that..

You are genuinely one of the sweetest people I have ever spoken to, thank you for all the kind words and I want wish you all the happiness in the world in return.

You will reach the stars someday ⭐️, and I know that when you do, your mother will be there to watch...

Keep smiling, and stay happy always, make sure to always find that tiny ray of hope and light in the darkness, it will always help you through the day

Love Hayles 😊

Originally posted by: Priyalovex3

Touching Post👏
May God Bless You and give you all the happiness you deserve
May your mother rest in peace and she will always be with you.
This post touches everyone's hearts and life changing. It gives us a moment to think and gives us another view of the world.

Originally posted by: KaushalyaFan

Hi Priya,

God bless you for your kind words, they warm my aching heart and give me much comfort and peace. I too will pray that God blesses you and all you love and you get all the best the world has to offer. May every success be yours Priya. Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me I am immensely grateful to you. Yes, I do hope my sweet mother is at peace now that she is without pain. I may have lost her forever but I hope she is in a safe and happy place where no agony can touch her. No harm will come to her now.

I am glad that my post has had such a positive effect. I wrote it in a moment of desperation and sadness. I was at my wit's end and I thought what if my pain could help someone realize that they are not alone in the pain they are going through. I am glad you have had a moment to think and that it has given you "another view of the world". I thank you so much for writing to me. I feel gratified that you have given me the strength to carry on in the face of this tragedy my family and I are going through.

I guess the pain never goes away but hopefully in time I will not focus so much on her disease and her silent suffering but instead focus on the joy she brought to me and indeed to all the lives she touched with her gentle spirit. I wish you every success in the world and I hope all your aims come true. I want nothing but the best for you Priya. You are a kind and sweet soul who has touched my heart in this difficult period of my life and I am in your debt for reaching out to me and easing my pain. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

KF

Hey KF

My condolences are with you. I can only imagine what you have gone through and are still going through. May your mother's soul rest in peace. It was really brave of you to share your heartache with everyone out here. There is no greater pain then losing a parent. Every day I pray that I never have to endure that much pain.

People/psychologist say to let it out and you'll feel better but I feel venting out is letting that person go and for some people they can only go on with daily life without accepting the loss (so I understand Kushi's need to find solace in the stars)...I have very recently lost someone who was a mother figure to me and I am still unable to comprehend the fact that this person is no longer with me.

Originally posted by: KaushalyaFan

Arnav on the other hand, unlike Khushi, didn't find surrogate parents. I don't think he found that surrogacy in Anjali, his sister. He couldn't replace his parents with either his grandmother or his dumb aunt or uncle. When he's mad, he's ASR and when he's nice, he's Arnav but really speaking it is the same guy. He's not bipolar nor does he have a split personality.

He thinks that letting go of his anger will mean that he is letting go of his parents therefore he hides behind that facade. He cannot and will not share his grief with anyone because that will also mean that he is accepting the loss and he is not able to function with this acceptance.

Originally posted by: Priyalovex3

Thank you for replaying back with such sweet words. You are very kind and lovable. I am sure God will give you happiness and shower you with love. May you succeed your dreams and be successful. I am very sure your mom is watching over you and is very proud of you. I pray that God helps you through this time and give you happiness. I will pray that God forever will keep you safe/take care of you and your mother. I never knew how it feels to loose a mom, but through your post , I can feel what my life would be like without my mom. Thank you for this post

Your mom is in a better place and may she be in peace and God Bless You Always

Pain is hard to struggle and overcome. But keep on fighting and never give up. Through the good and rough times, your mother is still with you.

My grandma(dadi) died last year in November. I cried my eyes. I live in Canada and she lived in UK. Even though i saw her a few times in real life, I felt a huge a pain which was hard to ignore. It seemed like my world was shattered. When I found out I tried to hold the tears in front of my mom but my mom knew I was very upset. The worse part was when my dad said he is going to visit her, want to go (3 weeks before she died)? I couldn't... I had too much school work so i said no. That was my l was chance to meet her but i blew it. I never knew she was going to leave me. I promised her I will come in summer but I was too late and I told her I loved her. My dad had made videos of her when she still alive when he went. I still watch them and tear up. My grandpa(Dada) he died when my dad was very young so i never met him. I wish I did... I still cry for him too even though i never met him. This shows that you never know when your last breath is...only God knows.

But God will always shower us with love and happiness. I have a huge faith on God

God Bless

Hi Priya,

Thanks so much for writing back to me. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I said all those things to you because I really meant them. You truly are a wonderful person and I am honored to know you. I too will pray for God to give you every happiness in life both to you and to those you love. Yes, I hope my mother is watching over me, I would want a part of her to always be with me and a part of me to always be with her wherever she may be.

I too will pray that you always stay safe and are protected from all the pain life sometimes gives us. I hope you never go through the pain of losing your mother. I will pray that no one ever goes through that pain especially you. From your writing I can tell you and your mother are like two peas in a pod and I hope you always have each other to keep happy. I so much want my mother to be in God's arms to be in his company forever. She is my angel and deserves to be with him or in a happy and safe place where no pain can touch her.

I wrote the post to reach out to those who are going through what I am going through but my hope is that they will feel that they are not alone and must not feel alone. I am glad that so many have written back to me to say that they realize the true value of their mothers. I would say to those who have mothers that hold on to her and tell her how much you love her. The same can go for any relative in one's family. Love them and tell them every day that you love them with all your heart.

Yes, as you have given me words of wisdom, I will try to overcome the pain though one can't totally overcome it, but I think I can find a way to perhaps at some later point in my life not be so angry or so frustration at how things went down during her last days.

I offer you my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your Dadi. I am truly sorry about that. I know when my maternal grandmother died in 1991 of a stroke she suffered a lot and I couldn't be with her and I was very sorry to lose her and even then it was tough to see my mother mourn the loss of her own mother. They were both in different places and my mother wanted to be with her mother but so much stood in the way.

My grandmother too was in so much pain that just like my mother she suffered in silence never complaining about her pain. It must have been so tough for you to lose your grandmother being away from her and going through the pain of losing her. I am truly sorry that you had to suffer this loss. My heart goes out to you and your family in the huge loss you all suffered.

I salute you for trying to hold back the pain you were feeling in front your mother so that she would not see you suffering and because you wanted to reduce her pain. That was truly a magnanimous act on your part. It must have been tough for you. But still mothers can sense these things she must have known how brave you were being for her sake. I am sure she must have appreciated you thinking more about her than your own grief in such a sad situation.

Priya please do not blame yourself for not going to see your grandmother. It is not your fault. Please understand that in life there are sometimes no choices. Things just happen. When my mother fell sick in the last 15 days of her life I continued to work thinking that she would make a full recovery. I was not willing to face the fact that I might lose her. I kept thinking she was getting better. But had I known how little time I had with her I would have done things differently. Today I am still at the same job and I regret my actions.

I have come to hate this job. It took me away from my mother. But as I have learned in life there are no do overs and no second chances. The important thing Priya is that you loved your grandmother and that she loved you back. It is so important that you were able to tell her that you loved her. I know from my experience that every day that my mother was bedridden with breast cancer, even when she could not talk, I always told her that I was there for her, and that I loved her. I don't know if she heard me, she was always under a heavy dose of the morphine to help her with the pain but I made sure I told her that I loved her and was there for her.

I am sorry you never got to see your paternal grandfather that must have been so tough on you. I am sorry for your loss. It must have been tough on your father too to lose his father. I am sorry that in your short life you have lost so much my heartfelt condolences to you and your parents on the loss of your loved ones. I will pray that you all find some solace in the memories they have left behind and that in time even if the pain never goes away you will get used to the pain and will be able to move on with your lives.

God bless you for having the courage to share your pain with me, I am honored and I hope you find peace in life and all good things happen to you and your family. I pray and hope the coming years bring you joy and peace. God bless you, you have given so much comfort to me when you are yourself hurting. I am truly sorry for your loss. Yes it is your faith in God that will get you through these hard times. Remember that with every bad day will come a good day. Many blessings to you.

KF

Originally posted by: khahani

Hey KF

My condolences are with you. I can only imagine what you have gone through and are still going through. May your mother's soul rest in peace. It was really brave of you to share your heartache with everyone out here. There is no greater pain then losing a parent. Every day I pray that I never have to endure that much pain.

People/psychologist say to let it out and you'll feel better but I feel venting out is letting that person go and for some people they can only go on with daily life without accepting the loss (so I understand Kushi's need to find solace in the stars)...I have very recently lost someone who was a mother figure to me and I am still unable to comprehend the fact that this person is no longer with me.

Once again it was very commendable of you to share something acutely personal with us.

Thank you so much for writing to me on this topic. I thank you for your kind condolences on my loss. I appreciate you taking the time to offer me your kind words. Thank you for your thoughtful words about my mother, I do hope she is at peace. You have called me brave that I shared my loss with all of you at IF but really I only shared in an act of desperation, I was having a really bad day and wanted to reach out to someone who was in my position dealing with the same pain. I will pray that you never have to go through what I have gone through in losing my mother. It is pure hell I can tell you and I pray that you will never go through it.

You can only vent or let it out if it helps to talk. It is strange I can share my grief with you a total stranger but I can't do it with my family. I can't let them see the tears or the anger. Sometimes talking about it feels like you are letting them go are forced to accept the loss but it can also help you understand your grief and in one way it is good because it eases the pain for some people. I know as I write to you I feel a great deal of peace. But if you find talking about losing a loved one doesn't help you and forces you to deal with issues you are not prepared to deal with then you should find other ways of dealing with your pain.

I totally get you when you say that it is hard to even comprehend that they are gone. I am sorry you lost a motherly figure in your life and I am sorry you having to go through this pain. I pray to God to give the courage to deal with this loss and I hope it becomes easier with time to deal with the pain. The pain never goes away, at least not for me but I have hope that you will get through this difficult period and will rally again in time.

I appreciate the fact that even though you are going through your own loss you chose to comfort me. You are too kind, sweet and generous and you have a kind heart and a big heart. Your words have helped me greatly and I thank you for helping me deal with my loss. You are very brave and I know you will get through this difficult period. God bless you always. May you find the peace that we are both craving. God willing we will find it in time.

KF