Safarnaama - An Armaan-Abhira FF - Part Sixteen (09.05.2024) - Page 13

Originally posted by: Pinecone

Not fair . You left us hanging. Needed to read more ..

This chapter ended too quickly, lol.

Awww  I'll continue soon, don't worry. 

Okay...I'm late to this story! But oh my god, you write sooo brilliantly. The way you capture the in depth emotions and give them words, hats off mahn! I love the pace of your story, a slow burn in the truest sense. Keep up the good work. Please do tag me whenever the next update hits. Excited to read how Armaan and Abhira will navigate this mentor-mentee phase. ❤️

Waiting for your update too! 

Working on it, so hopefully should be updated soon. ❤️

Outstanding chapter 😍

Well written with abhira emotions and very descriptive on armaan current life vs past life

Glad abhira said yes to shadow armaan 

Excited to read more on how they both learn and observe about each other 

Please update soon 

If I haven't said this before allow me to say this now. You are an excellent writer. The way you write your characters....it's sublime. The way you describe the setting, it's like I'm right there standing in a corner of that very office. I can almost picture a dimly lit room, tall cabinets overflowing with mounds of files, worn out furniture, and a light sheen of dust covering everything within reach while a musky scent permeates the air. 

I love how you describe their emotions. Makes me hurt right along with them. 

And the plot is so simple and yet so believable. Armaan's self loathing and desire for redemption, Abhira's hurt and reluctance to rely on anyone but herself. It's all so beautifully crafted. I am eager for more💖

Cliffhanger… oh it was perfect!! I love your writing style and your depiction of emotions 💕💕💕 can’t wait to read more 

Dude not fair leaving us with a cliffhanger like that. AP good find

Waiting for next

Thank you all so very much for taking the time to give your feedback  I have decided to post the update earlier than planned because of your comments that the last update ended too soon  Here's to you, @CaptDeadpool007 and @Pinecone. 

PART ELEVEN

Abhira's first day shadowing Armaan at the legal aid clinic was starting to carve a profound impression on her. For the first time since their separation, she was able to see Armaan as the lawyer that she had always admired. 

In the midst of their professional interactions, to Abhira's surprise, it became possible for her to momentarily lose sight of their shared past. The painful memories that haunted her seemed to fade into the background, replaced by the urgency of the cases they were handling and the intricacies of the law. It was as if the walls of the legal aid clinic provided a barrier between their past and their present — a sanctuary where they could exist solely as colleagues, bound by their shared commitment to the work before them.

Besides, it had been a busy morning, and the clients before them had problems that far outweighed any personal concerns Abhira might have had. Their first case involved a low-income tenant facing eviction from her apartment due to a dispute with her landlord. The second involved a mother seeking custody of her children in contentious divorce proceedings. The mother had burst into heart-wrenching sobs during their meeting, and in a fit of emotion, begun to show photographs of her children on her phone to them as she pined for them. Abhira had not missed the tenderness shining in Armaan's eyes as he had looked at the photographs. The third case was that of an old couple, subjected to physical abuse by their own son, being driven out of their own house. Then, a group of workers whose daily wages had been unlawfully withheld... So many cases, one after the other, so much pain, so much injustice... and so much hope in the eyes of the clients as Armaan reassured them. 

As she observed Armaan interacting with clients, Abhira was captivated by the way he spoke to them—his words measured, yet empathetic. She remembered how, during their divorce hearing as well, he was able to maintain his composure and remain professional, while she had allowed herself to get carried by her emotions before the Judge and had even failed to maintain decorum at one point. She had so much to learn still.

But as the day progressed, Abhira could not help but notice the toll that Armaan's dedication was taking on him. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and he seemed weighed down by fatigue. From time to time, she saw him pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he gave his tired eyes a moment of respite. A new habit that had not been there before. She wondered about his life outside of the office — did he live alone, or did he have someone waiting for him at home? And more importantly, was he taking care of himself properly?

She shook off the questions plaguing her and got back to the file she was working on. She was so engrossed that she did not even notice when Kartik had sauntered over to the desk that Abhira was sharing with Armaan. "Abhira! We're all heading out for some pizza later. Care to join us?" 

Abhira hesitated, caught off guard.

Before Abhira could respond, Armaan interjected smoothly, "Actually, how about we have the pizzas delivered here? It'll give us a chance to bond as a team."

Kartik's smile widened at Armaan's suggestion. "That's a great idea, AP Sir! Pizza party at the office it is."

Armaan couldn't quite grasp why he had made the suggestion of getting the pizzas delivered. It was unusual, and he was not even sure Mr Qureshi would approve. As warm and affable as Mr Qureshi was, he was also a strict disciplinarian when it came to work. 

But the words had left his lips of their own accord, driven by a deep-seated feeling, a desperation almost, of not wanting Abhira to leave just yet. Their paths had diverged in ways he could never have imagined, leaving a wide chasm between them. And yet, miraculously, fate had granted them some more moments together. Armaan could not bear the thought of letting Abhira slip away just as they were beginning to reconnect, just as they were rediscovering the threads that could bind them together once again.

Despite the purely professional and work-related nature of their interactions thus far, Armaan found himself inexplicably happy that Abhira was close to him. He felt a swelling sense of pride as he observed how much she had grown as a lawyer — the dedication she displayed, the kindness with which she treated clients, and the innovative solutions she proposed. It came as a relief to him that Abhira hadn't completely shut him out, as she had in their previous interactions. Despite their complicated history, she maintained a high level of professionalism. Albeit as professionals, all he wanted was some more time with her, to quell somewhat the longing in his heart... Just a little more time... These moments with her were a dream... He would wake up from the dream later.

Besides, at that boy Kartik's unexpected arrival, Armaan had also found himself wrestling with an unexpected surge of annoyance. He couldn't decipher the source of this irritation, but a nagging curiosity gnawed at him. He wondered about the extent of Abhira and Kartik's closeness. Kartik was after all around her age, and came across as the spirited and fun-loving person that he had known her to be, in what seemed like a previous life. 

....

Amidst the legal aid clinic's bustling routine, the pizza lunch stood out as a rare occasion. Mr Qureshi had exceptionally allowed it, while insisting that the break should not exceed half an hour. Still, it was a welcomed reprieve, contrasting the usual scenario where everyone ate silently at their desks while continuing to work. Armaan observed with a hint of satisfaction how the break seemed to rejuvenate his colleagues. It was a stark difference from their usual hurried pace where interaction was a luxury seldom indulged. 

As he watched Abhira converse with the other lawyers, her professionalism shone, her demeanor unwavering even in this informal setting. Armaan too met with the other interns, all bright and enthusiastic youngsters, engaging in polite conversation and learning more about their backgrounds and aspirations.

Amidst the mingling, his path inevitably crossed Abhira's.

"How have you been?" she asked, looking at him keenly.

"Well," he responded, meeting her gaze evenly.

She seemed to have more questions in mind, but struggled to find the words.

"You wanted to ask something?" Armaan prodded, recognizing the look on her face.

"How come you're here, and not at Poddar & Poddar Associates, or some other law firm?" she inquired.

Armaan paused. "I am not in touch with the family," he said simply, a sense of finality in his tone, not wanting to remind her of her past. He continued, "I could have joined another firm, but initially, I decided against it to avoid attracting too many questions. I am very happy with my decision though, even if it seems that I was forced into it. Working here is truly very fulfilling."

Abhira reciprocated by sharing her thoughts on the work that was being done at the legal aid clinic. Her words carried a weight of wisdom and empathy, reflecting a depth of understanding that belied her years. Armaan could only watch, in admiration, the shine in her eyes, the glimmer of passion and purpose that illuminated her features, as she spoke.

The moment was cut short by Mr Qureshi ushering them back into work as there was already a queue of people forming outside the locked office.

Armaan smiled to himself as he walked over to his desk with renewed enthusiasm. 

....

As the end of her first day at the legal aid clinic approached, Abhira gathered her belongings, preparing to leave with her classmates. With the exception of Mr Qureshi who was still in his office, and Armaan who was still working at his desk preparing for an upcoming trial, the other lawyers and paralegals had either left or were leaving as well. 

Armaan had developed a routine over the past few months, preferring to spend long hours at the clinic. It wasn't just about fulfilling his professional obligations; it was a conscious effort to immerse himself in the tasks at hand, to bury himself completely into his work, so that his thoughts wouldn't stray to his painful past and the weight of his mistakes. For Armaan, the clinic had become more than just a place of work; it was a sanctuary — a refuge from the tumultuous emotions that threatened to consume him. Amidst the stacks of case files and the constant stream of clients seeking assistance, he found a sense of purpose and fulfillment that eluded him elsewhere. The work was demanding, yes, but it was also cathartic — a way to channel his energy into something meaningful, something that mattered.

Only when exhaustion threatened to overwhelm him, did Armaan reluctantly retreat to his empty apartment, where the silence and solitude served as a stark reminder of the void that had formed in his life. In those quiet moments, with nothing but his thoughts for company, the weight of his mistakes would descend upon him like a suffocating blanket, threatening to drown him in a sea of regret and remorse.

As Abhira made her way towards the exit, a sudden impulse seized her, causing her to hesitate before turning back to Armaan. She felt a tug at her heartstrings, a reluctance to let the day come to an end. It was a conflicting sensation, one she struggled to comprehend fully. Why did she feel a pang at the thought of leaving him? Abhira couldn't quite discern the source of her hesitation, but for some reason, she felt like she couldn't ignore the impulse that urged her to stay.

Armaan looked up, surprised by Abhira's offer to stay back, given the pain that still haunted her eyes. He tried to read her expression, but her inner thoughts and emotions remained as elusive as ever. He surmised that she was surely just being professional, eager to make the most of her internship experience. There was too much history between them for her to have been motivated by any kind of affection or concern towards him. Still, even if it was only in the context of work, he was grateful at the prospect of spending more time with her, for some more moments that he could take back to the solitude of his apartment to reminisce over. 

Before Armaan could respond, Saadiya, one of Abhira's classmates, suggested, "You will drop her to our hostel after work, won't you, AP Sir?"

As she met Armaan's gaze, Abhira could see that her offer to stay back had caught him off guard. She wondered what thoughts were racing through his mind, what emotions were stirring beneath the surface. Perhaps, he did not want her around. She was only burdening him with her presence once again. How foolish she felt for extending the offer, for once again putting herself in a position where her presence was unwanted, unwelcome.

Armaan couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in Abhira's demeanor and the shadow that crept over Abhira's expression, as the light in her eyes faltered. Before he could address her concerns, that boy Kartik's voice interjected, offering to stay back as well and suggesting he and Abhira get an Uber together after work.

"No," Armaan responded firmly, perhaps more sternly than he intended, "You are with Rastogi ma'am, aren't you? She's already left, so you should as well. Abhira is most welcome to stay back. She's working with me, so I will drop her."

Unbeknownst to Armaan, there was something in his words just then... that triggered in Abhira, a whirlwind of painful emotions that she had thought she was beginning to overcome. She felt the weight of the past descend upon her, sapping the light from around and within her. It was as if she had been transported back in time, to a time when her responsibility had been imposed on Armaan against his wishes. She had become his responsibility once again, she thought to herself bitterly.

The realization filled her with a searing anger directed towards herself and her mind raced with questions, each more damning than the other.  How could she have allowed herself to slip back into this role, to willingly subject herself to a vulnerability she had fought so hard to overcome? What had come over her, to offer to stay back when everyone else was leaving? Why did she have to put herself in this position of relying on Armaan's favors again? 

She had been making progress, had become adept at cultivating an air of aloofness and stoicism to shield herself from the pain of their history. And yet, in a moment of weakness, she had allowed herself to be drawn back into the fray, relinquishing the control she had fought so hard to attain.

But now, as she watched her classmates leave without her, she found herself trapped by her own decision. She had little choice but to follow through with her offer to Armaan. To retract it now would only invite unwelcome questions from the others.

Abhira found herself teetering on the edge of an emotional precipice, as the trauma of her past lurked in the shadows of her mind, threatening to engulf her once again. But she clung to a fragile sense of strength, a beacon of resilience born from the ashes of her past.

With each breath, she fought against the memories that threatened to consume her, drawing upon every ounce of courage she possessed to maintain her composure. In the face of Armaan's presence, a potent reminder of the wounds that still lingered, Abhira resolved to stand tall. She would not allow herself to be in a vulnerable position again, where she would have to rely on him.

"I will not be needing a lift," Abhira said to Armaan resolutely, "I can manage. I will take an Uber to the hostel after we are done."

Armaan looked at her, surprised at the sudden change in her countenance, the iciness in her eyes.

"I can drop you," he insisted, "It might not be safe. We might finish quite late, and you're new here."

Tears threatened to spill from Abhira's eyes as she grappled with a sense of helplessness that engulfed her like a chokehold. The weight of unspoken emotions pressed upon her chest, but she remained silent, unable to find the words to articulate the storm raging within her. Armaan's insistence that he would drop her to the hostel, had only served to exacerbate her inner turmoil. His offer felt like a cruel reminder of the vulnerability she sought desperately to avoid. But she remained steadfast in her silence.

To confide in him would be to grant him a power over her that she was not willing to relinquish. After all, he was nobody to her now — kuch nahin.

As Armaan witnessed in her eyes, the invisible barrier reemerge between them, his heart clenched with a pang of sorrow. There was a palpable torment emanating from Abhira, a pain that he could feel but could not fully comprehend. It tore at him to see her so distraught, to know that he was somehow the cause of her suffering, once again.

Abhira's breathing began to grow erratic as she struggled to contain the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. Armaan's heart ached at her distress as he could only watch, helplessly.

And then it struck him, the moment that had triggered her. It was his offer to drop her at the hostel that was the cause of her anguish. 

"Abhira," Armaan said softly, reassuringly, "My offer to drop you to the hostel is just a practical arrangement. If we were a top-tier law firm, there would be drivers to drop people home after hours. At our clinic, we are short-staffed and lack resources. So we do everything ourselves, from the peon's work, to the driver's. In about fifteen minutes, I will be making a cup of tea for Qureshi sa'ab as I do every evening. And I have regularly dropped other colleagues home as well. They have given me lifts too; we often carpool."

He continued, an unmistakable sadness lacing his words, "But if you are not comfortable around me, Qureshi sa'ab usually leaves at around 7. That's in about an hour's time. Would you mind if he drops you to the hostel instead? I know he would be happy to."

Abhira's response was a weak nod, her tears slowly subsiding as she wiped them away with trembling hands. 

"It's not that I am not comfortable, it's just..." Abhira said, her voice uncertain, as she stumbled over her words, "I... I just... I don't know what came over me." 

"Your reaction makes sense, considering what I put you through, how I made you feel. You're an incredibly strong person, Abhira, and you don't need anyone. I know that and I will never lose sight of that. Please trust me."

Trust was a big word, Abhira thought to herself. But she appreciated the genuine effort he made to understand where she was coming from and the complexities of her inner turmoil, without once making her feel weak or stupid. She felt once again, just as she had on the court bench the other day, a sense of quiet understanding between them, a brief sense of respite from the haunting wounds of their past.

She sat back at the desk, and engrossed herself in the file she had been working on, redirecting her focus back to work.

This was not the Armaan of her past, she reminded herself, as she steadied her breathing. This was her mentor and colleague, AP. She would learn everything there was to learn from him, and allow his guidance to strengthen her professional journey. 

.......

Part Twelve