I am loving this cold virat👍👍 - Page 4

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Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I feel it's a little more complicated than that....my take could be incomplete.

Both are wrong at this point...and both are right too ....but the power to end the stalemate lies with Virat IMO

If we imagine even a normal marriage, an ex's constant interference, the sense of entitlement in accusing the husband of cheating, etc....it will cause havoc on any couple's relationship as I see it. It will be left to the appropriate partner to set boundaries, be firm with the ex (perhaps move out of the house) and give reassurance to the spouse. So SaiRat marriage is sitting on a minefield as it is.

I don't believe Sai is taking Virat for granted. She is confused about the situation as well as her feelings. Agreed she is not handling her confusion well. She is building a wall to safeguard her heart as well as putting up an indifferent attitude. If she had confronted Virat with straightforward questions and demanded to know the answers, this issue still may have long been resolved. That's what Sai could/should have done. But that will happen only when she is able to understand the situation or navigate her own vulnerable feelings. (Sometimes Sai's straight-forward questions are met with jalebis or silence...which will only heighten her misapprehensions). Unfortunately people around her are useless - Ashwini acts like her MIL and Usha mausi is on some old-fashioned train. Both are too simple-minded to guide her in this complex issue. She may be having a black & white outlook on love - but it's not something a plain, honest talk won't cure.

As for Virat, he fails to see the impact Pakhi's presence in his life is having on his marriage. It was Virat's blunder of not setting healthy boundaries with Pakhi that has led to Sai's doubts and fears. He tries to tell Sai in bits and pieces about his past...but does not take the initiative in actively reassuring Sai by being more open and or in showing Pakhi her place during crucial moments. It is extraordinary how he doesn't perceive the minefield they are standing on especially considering he knows what it feels like to be insecure (Ajinkya, Aniket) - but that's what it is.

Sai's flaws in her thinking may cause small issues in other aspects of their relationship.....but I don't believe the current problem in their relationship has got anything to do with it.

Absolutely 👌. I agree and you know how I feel about it.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I agree.. I keep mentioning, its not just a day, just 10 days or a month, its a whole year that has made her the way she is...One really needs to see her change after the whole confrontation scene on the pool..The change in her attitude was so subtle that it would take a lot of effort to relate her with the earlier Sai, even the one before manhandling episode one.. Imagine..she is knocking the door of her own room and Pakhi after everything, after every truth out still gets to enter her room without knocking. And on top of that she gets to see him out in a cafe and no one would ridicule her the way Sai has been for going out with her husband. And this one has to ignore all this...all this and understand his love for her, through his actions..

In my opinion Both have equally failed in understanding each other.. Sai fails to see his love, though quickly without being told understands his insecurities and jealousy....While Virat fails to understand her insecurities, her jealousy and also her longing for him..The difference is one speaks with teary eyes when hurt and the other speaks in a blunt and brash tone..Both have said very hurtful words to each ither, the tone has been different... And I feel bad that the onus is on her , on her alone, with no Sunny to guide her, no understanding of what love is......its on her to understand he loves her!!!😭

While he still gets to see and meet Pakhi in a cafe !! And she is supposed to think there is nothing between them..She is not supposed to link it with the divorce between Samrakhi and how they plan to move ahead after that, with him distancing himself from her completely. Because ofcourse that's not what's natural in this case.... She is supposed to get over all these feelings alone and reach him out.. Fair on her? I dont think so.. It was for both of them to realise what they have failed to understand about others and not just one.. But then anyway they are not focusing on Sai's hurt... So no expectations there..

And how do we decide that she takes him for granted when she has entirely changed herself , her values to stay back in this house for him..Remember she once casually said how she is not the same Sai she was before coming to the house and Virat saw it as a taana..Everytime she mentions how she feels he terms it as taana or wants her to adjust, ignoring her feelings towards her ..But then thats not rude since he very calm , composed and loving while saying all these things..While Sai uses the worst words to tell him his shortcomings...Has he ever reflected on how much she has changed her ways , herself in this house..for him? She adjusts her whole cycle to fit into that house, because well she is the bahu and every bahu has to behave in a certain way.. She also has said so many times that at college people make fun of her when she studies in the canteen, since she hardly gets time here..These points of her were so subtly ignored by her that even we as audience forget , seeing how sad and depressed Virat has become for being rejected for his surprise.. Even when she tells him the reason, he is not ready to register it or gather it.. And yet in all this the onus is on her to suffer and realise herself Because she keeps a happy front infront of everyone and keeps announcing she does not care, while the others get to feel sad and depressed..

Beautifully captured Sai’s pain and Sai herself Asmi.

@bold Definitely. Both have failed to understand each other and both have to try to understand each other. What Sai did was wrong but Virat also failed to understand why she got mad, why it was affecting her, why she kept asking him to choose between her and Pakhi. Virat fails to understand that Sai need not be doing anything for his family or would not be forgiving him everytime if she has nothing for him. He is failing to connect the dots. Sai has been forgiving him after all the mistakes that he has been committing, has been having issues with his and Pakhi’s relationship, gets mad and questions about the yoga instructor’s words. Why would she do any of these?

Forget everything else, why would anyone get so mad at the yoga instructor’s words? Should he not be thinking about it?

Anyway, One should never judge book by a cover. One has to look past Sai’s brashness to see who Sai actually is. As you have said, it is sad that when a person puts up a strong front by not crying, they get misunderstood. They look like a wrong person. We have seen such people in real life too and have seen them being defaulted.

There is also another thing that I have noticed that I would like to share. Sometimes people who show their vulnerabilities, who are not able to contain their emotions, who are not able to put up a strong front are also ridiculed. The expectations from them are also always high that they should stay strong.

We should accept people as who they are and cannot expect them to act like how we would act or how we would like them to be. We will be able to understand Sai’s brash behavior and Virat crying if we accept them for who they are. It is their individuality, their nature. What we should see is their true self, look past beyond these characteristics to understand them.

@green I can understand Virat’s hurt and he has rights to stay upset. But I don’t agree that the onus is on Sai to realise it. As Nethra and you have explained Sai and Virat are where they are today because of Virat’s past, his actions and his inability to clear the misunderstanding.

Sai has to apologise to Virat, has to understand that she has hurt him and that onus is on her.

She also has to try to understand why he got hurt, why he tried to celebrate the anniversary.

But at the end both have to understand each other.

Originally posted by: laksh

Beautifully captured Sai’s pain and Sai herself Asmi.

@bold Definitely. Both have failed to understand each other and both have to try to understand each other. What Sai did was wrong but Virat also failed to understand why she got mad, why it was affecting her, why she kept asking him to choose between her and Pakhi. Virat fails to understand that Sai need not be doing anything for his family or would not be forgiving him everytime if she has nothing for him. He is failing to connect the dots. Sai has been forgiving him after all the mistakes that he has been committing, has been having issues with his and Pakhi’s relationship, gets mad and questions about the yoga instructor’s words. Why would she do any of these?

Forget everything else, why would anyone get so mad at the yoga instructor’s words? Should he not be thinking about it?

Anyway, One should never judge book by a cover. One has to look past Sai’s brashness to see who Sai actually is. As you have said, it is sad that when a person puts up a strong front by not crying, they get misunderstood. They look like a wrong person. We have seen such people in real life too and have seen them being defaulted.

There is also another thing that I have noticed that I would like to share. Sometimes people who show their vulnerabilities, who are not able to contain their emotions, who are not able to put up a strong front are also ridiculed. The expectations from them are also always high that they should stay strong.

We should accept people as who they are and cannot expect them to act like how we would act or how we would like them to be. We will be able to understand Sai’s brash behavior and Virat crying if we accept them for who they are. It is their individuality, their nature. What we should see is their true self, look past beyond these characteristics to understand them.

@green I can understand Virat’s hurt and he has rights to stay upset. But I don’t agree that the onus is on Sai to realise it. As Nethra and you have explained Sai and Virat are where they are today because of Virat’s past, his actions and his inability to clear the misunderstanding.

Sai has to apologise to Virat, has to understand that she has hurt him and that onus is on her.

She also has to try to understand why he got hurt, why he tried to celebrate the anniversary.

But at the end both have to understand each other.

Thank you Lakshmi for the post..

@bold I simply meant about the show is going to be. Virat in his anger does not even acknowledge a relationship with Sai..to Samrat..this is the same man who was willing to do so much a day before....But anyway he was angry....He also does not realise how there is a difference between calling PP Patralekha and Pakhi infront of Samrat...The subtleties he misses out.....He does not understand that emotionally in a way he has to draw a line.... for others to see it...

But then they are going the way where the onus lies on her to understand everything. Now she would see them in the cafe and she has to understand it's normal when the chances of them talking about their course after divorce is so high from any perspective or for that matter...even about their feelings for each other, continuing to live with other, is so high...

But then she would have to understand it was a friendly matter and there is nothing between them..Fair on her ? When the past is still between them in their good days and bad...always at their door ...gets in without knocking even when she is on the verge of calling that room not her own....Fair on her?? I am up for anger, separation but for both of them to realise and reflect and not an emotional abuse on one..by so many people..

Originally posted by: laksh

Beautifully captured Sai’s pain and Sai herself Asmi.

@bold Definitely. Both have failed to understand each other and both have to try to understand each other. What Sai did was wrong but Virat also failed to understand why she got mad, why it was affecting her, why she kept asking him to choose between her and Pakhi. Virat fails to understand that Sai need not be doing anything for his family or would not be forgiving him everytime if she has nothing for him. He is failing to connect the dots. Sai has been forgiving him after all the mistakes that he has been committing, has been having issues with his and Pakhi’s relationship, gets mad and questions about the yoga instructor’s words. Why would she do any of these?

Forget everything else, why would anyone get so mad at the yoga instructor’s words? Should he not be thinking about it?

Anyway, One should never judge book by a cover. One has to look past Sai’s brashness to see who Sai actually is. As you have said, it is sad that when a person puts up a strong front by not crying, they get misunderstood. They look like a wrong person. We have seen such people in real life too and have seen them being defaulted.

There is also another thing that I have noticed that I would like to share. Sometimes people who show their vulnerabilities, who are not able to contain their emotions, who are not able to put up a strong front are also ridiculed. The expectations from them are also always high that they should stay strong.

We should accept people as who they are and cannot expect them to act like how we would act or how we would like them to be. We will be able to understand Sai’s brash behavior and Virat crying if we accept them for who they are. It is their individuality, their nature. What we should see is their true self, look past beyond these characteristics to understand them.

@green I can understand Virat’s hurt and he has rights to stay upset. But I don’t agree that the onus is on Sai to realise it. As Nethra and you have explained Sai and Virat are where they are today because of Virat’s past, his actions and his inability to clear the misunderstanding.

Sai has to apologise to Virat, has to understand that she has hurt him and that onus is on her.

She also has to try to understand why he got hurt, why he tried to celebrate the anniversary.

But at the end both have to understand each other.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

Thank you Lakshmi for the post..

@bold I simply meant about the show is going to be. Virat in his anger does not even acknowledge a relationship with Sai..to Samrat..the same man who was willing to do so much a day before....But anyway he was angry ...He also does not realise how there is a difference between calling PP Patralekha and Pakhi infront on Samrat...The subtleties he misses out... But then they are going the way where the onus lies on her to understand everything..Now she would see them in the cafe and she has to understand it's normal when the chances of them talking about the course after divorce is so high from any perspective .or for that matter...even about their feelings is so high... But then she would have to understand it was a friendly matter and there is nothing between them..Fair on her ? When the past is still between them in their good days and bad...always at their door ...gets in without knocking and when she is on the verge of calling that room not her own ...Fair on her.. I am up for anger , separation but for both of them to realise and reflect and not an emotional abuse on one..by so many people..

Again these small things like Calling your ex by nickname suggests intimacy. ( It could just be of emo nature ) . The ability to be friends with an ex is a very touchy topic since when vulnerable one or both may be carried away it could just be emo too. Being civl is a diff thing.

Holding hands by ex again controversial...Virat believes with his actions he has made it clear that he loves sai and says in word too to pp maybe. But what will sai feel ? . Today Sam also suggested open u r mouth and convey.

I wish even Sam saw this hand holding kand at the cafe

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

Again these small things like Calling your ex by nickname suggests intimacy. ( It could just be of emo nature ) . The ability to be friends with an ex is a very touchy topic since when vulnerable one or both may be carried away it could just be emo too. Being civl is a diff thing.

Holding hands by ex again controversial...Virat believes with his actions he has made it clear that he loves sai and says in word too to pp maybe. But what will sai feel ? . Today Sam also suggested open u r mouth and convey.

I wish even Sam saw this hand holding kand at the cafe

I guess its fine for some to be friends with ex but only if

a)they have been away for a good time after separation, till residual feelings are gone

b) are not staying under the same room.

Here none of these conditions have been fulfilled by the two. Its not just controversial, its unfair to the other partner if you chose to remain friends.

Holding hands among friends is fine for me, hugging is also fine, but then again the relationship these two share right now and the situations they are surrounded with, its not fine...

Sai has to realise how Virat has been trying so much to make her feel like a wife in his own ways...but then the onus is also on Virat to understand her fear and insecurities, the abuse she went through, emotional and at times physical, because we can agree or disagree , these are results of his words, decisions and actions(lack of it)......just like Virat's anger/hurt right now is a result of Sai's brashness and rudeness and her inabilities to understand his feelings and actions..

If one has to be realised the other as well, the other one being there for a long long time...has been there on a daily basis, since the time she entered the house..

There is for both of them to learn here....The debate would come back when I say he was at one point of time emotionally standing(not riding) on two boats..

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I guess its fine for some to be friends with ex but

a)after being away for a good time after the separation .

b) also staying under the same roof.

Here none of these conditions have been fulfilled by the two. Its not just controversial, its unfair to the other partner if you chose to remain friends.

Holding hands among friends is fine for me, hugging is also fine, but then again the relationship these two share right no and the situations they are surrounded with, its not fine...Sai has to realise how Virat has been trying so much to make her feel like a wife in his own ways...but then the onus is also on Virat to understand her fear and insecurities, the abuse she went through, emotional and at times physical, because we can agree or disagree , these are results of his words, decisions and actions(lack of it)...just like Virat's anger right now is a result of Sai's brashness and rudeness and her inabilities to understand his feelings and actions..

If one has to be realised the other as well, the other one being there for a long long time...has been there on a daily basis, since the time she entered the house.. There is for both of them to learn here....The debate would come back when I say he was at one point of time emotionally standing(not riding) on two boats..

The funny part is none of the 4 acknowledge that there never has been a past between pakhi n virat .. yeh sab in dono ke imagination me tha .. what they shared was cute flirting ..

the way both talk about as if Sucj a long drawn love story ..

if virat starts analysing his interactions with Sai in GC were a lot more flirty with nok jhok pity Sunny was not there .. or he would have made him realise .. why are u taking the girl to school .. are u like flirting with her infront of her principal and other students ..

have u gone to meet her dressed up as a milkman .. did u like rescue ur damsel in distress and swept her off from a forced wedding ..

If they reflect back .. blowing hot air balloons and doing yoga will look so maha tame ..

I am in love with tbis cold & indifferent virat who is making sai taste her own medicine❤

now she will realise what is actual meaning of deal marriage

Originally posted by: msin

The funny part is none of the 4 acknowledge that there never has been a past between pakhi n virat .. yeh sab in dono ke imagination me tha .. what they shared was cute flirting ..

the way both talk about as if Sucj a long drawn love story ..

if virat starts analysing his interactions with Sai in GC were a lot more flirty with nok jhok pity Sunny was not there .. or he would have made him realise .. why are u taking the girl to school .. are u like flirting with her infront of her principal and other students ..

have u gone to meet her dressed up as a milkman .. did u like rescue ur damsel in distress and swept her off from a forced wedding ..

If they reflect back .. blowing hot air balloons and doing yoga will look so maha tame ..

Exactly Virat needs someone to make him see things.. Warna he would have stopped calling that past a past...Its a joke.. It has always been a silly crush and her interaction and connection with Sai was deep.. He was deeply attracted, Sai too but he held back because she was just a 12th pass and Sai , well she was also too young to give a thought on what was happening... Sai knows the past through Virat and Pakhi..If she gets to know its a two day thing, she is going to roll on floor laughing..