Back to farz & duty, but this time it's a bit different.... - Page 5

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

My answers in red

I totally agree .. that considering they have been married for a year they have made a lot of progress in understanding each other ..

Originally posted by: msin

@bold I don’t mean that care .. global Wala .😂😂😂. Pati Patni ke beech bahut type of care hota hai ..
virat always asks Sai how was ur day.. who are ur friends , did u eat .. what do you like .. do u want to go out and eat .. when did Sai ask all this about virat .. husbands start expecting a lot more care from the wife .. I know Sai is not in that wifey zone yet .. so virat feels disappointed .. virat did a superb party for Sai .. on her birthday abd Sai was expecting this also .. when has Sai made some thing special for virat to eat , or a fancy shirt for him ..

Yes she threw a party for devi tai , called pakhi , DIG all these are external stuff..but what about one to one care .. There in lies the do appointment for virat and insecurity ..He makes her feel special .. a princess but her care is more affectionate abd impersonal

Hmm, I agree that there are different types of care between a husband and a wife. You have pointed out little details that Virat does that are those of a husband... like asking her who her friends are, if she ate, how her day was... but even on this level, Sai has done the same. I remember when the bed tea episode came out, someone had commented that Virat knows the littlest things about Sai without her saying anything, but she doesn't know the same. And yet, during the pre-college fest episode, Sai knew exactly where all of his belongings were in the room. In the episode where kaku accuses Virat of thinking that the family is forcing her to do work, Sai adamantly defends him, saying that he most definitely does not think like that. There are a lot of things that SaiRat still have to understand about each other, and that is mostly due to their lack of communication. But, they also both already understand each other on a very deep level...and I think that goes both ways.

I see what you are saying, but I think that may be mostly because Virat recognizes himself as Sai's husband and has consciously accepted this marriage as real. But, Sai is yet to give herself permission to acknowledge his feelings towards her as love and to accept her own feelings towards him as love...

To me, the only reason why SaiRat are still together at this point is because of Sai's ability to forgive him and look past his faults. But, perhaps now, moving forward, Virat will carry the burden to try to show her that this marriage is real as he said to Sunny today... so, it is a give and take...

Just my opinion!

Originally posted by: msin

I wrote something .. and it got deleted.. I found the episode interesting..

Essentially the story is about them ..virat and Sai both are good folks .. they don’t want to hurt others .. and are sorted in their career goals .. but yes both have their inner complexities.. which may be according to their upbringing ( virat ) and circumstances ( Sai )

Virat cares more about Sai than she does for virat .. He sees to her welfare .. and keeps her happiness above his family .. He is self centred enough to not do enough for his mother or even father .. but he does go the extra mile for Sai and there in comes his insecurities.. because she does not seem to reciprocate..

Sai’s care and love is seen when she cares about his family .. she’s doing it more because they are his family .. so any breakage in relationship with him .. she distances herself from his family too ..

I try telling repeatedly in this forum that people’s faults are so not easily washed away .. otherwise there would be no pain in society .. Marriage is a trial n error .. couples keep on making mistakes , they fight .. if the love is there they make up .. again fight again make up .. till they start understanding each other a little better

Either virat will improve or Sai will learn to overlook his faults .. if they are going to stay with each other but it won’t happen immediately.. there will be many knee jerk moments ..

Bold - Nicely said!!

Virat cares more for Sai, I agree. Sai feels close to Virat, but she is unable to move closer because there is a wall of “Deal marriage”, also she feels that Pakhi is always between them. So unless Virat clears his past and the Vaada being a fault.. these two will continue to stay this way.

Originally posted by: sadiltl

yes this is sad! But that’s the reality. I have written this POV from Sai’s view point in the other thread. She is troubled because if virat has this choti soch, will she be able to forgive him. She would have to because she loves him. It is not easy!! She forgave him easily because she realized it is just an emotional transgression… not his trait

I liked her dialogue to virat that he would not be able to change many things in her life and she used the word “mehasoos” so I took it like she is deeply conflicted about the fact that even if it is his weakness, she will forgive him eventually and she doesn’t like it! But that is love 😒, it makes you illogical and blind.

Loved reading your take as always ❤️

I guess my question is did Sai actually ever think that all of this was due to Virat's choti soch? Even during the fight, she told Pakhi that Virat is seeing things that aren't there due to his jealously. Then, she told Pulkit that she's more hurt by the way in which he acted than his words. When Virat told her he became possessive, she didn't refute it...rather, she asked him why. And again when aai told her the same, instead of countering it, she said that despite how Virat felt, it did not give him the right to act in the way he did. All of this kind of leads me to believe that all along, perhaps a part of Sai has known that Virat did not act in this way due to a regressive mentality. I think that what has hurt her more is how he exploded out of anger, how he spoke with her, how he beat up her friend. How when she asked him if he thought she was characterless, he gave her no answer, thereby implying that she was. How he ran behind her in the street, asking for the answer to a question that was already crystal clear in her mind.

As you have said, if Sai had believed that this was actually due to his choti soch, then she would not have been able to forgive him this easily. But, she was already melting staring at him through the window at the beginning of today's episode. By the time the coconut scene came, she had already partially forgiven him. She was still hurt and trying to stand her ground, but it was not really working. The speed at which this happened for her makes me think that somewhere all along, she knew that his actions were not due to a lack of trust or choti such, but rather him getting caught up in his emotions....which to me, in itself, is a character trait of Virat's...which Sai knows all to well by now since it has become a pattern.

When she asks herself whether Virat acted out of choti soch or jealously, I thought the point of this dialogue was once again to show the state of her mind in terms of her feelings towards him. She unintentionally has already recognized that it was due to jealously, or else she would not have forgiven him. But, she is refusing to let herself consciously believe it, because that would mean that their relationship is real. And, she is afraid to let herself believe, because again, she is lacking the verbal affirmation she needs in order to give herself permission to accept both her own and Virat's feelings. Her monologue reminded me of exactly what happened during the ring gifting. She wanted the ring to be the gift a husband gives to his wife, but she was refusing to let herself believe it, despite sensing the reality of their relationship... so she asked Virat to confirm. But, he chose the safe answer due to his fear of losing her, and as a result she was snapped back into her "reality", and felt stupid for even thinking otherwise. So, now, trying to blame it on his choti soch (even when she knows that's not the case) and telling herself that she doesn't mean anything to Virat is her self-preservation or protection mechanism.

Originally posted by: tptwi

Today's episode was one of the best we have gotten in the history of the show. It seemed like perhaps SaiRat are back to square 1 of their jalebis, but I actually thought it marked a beautiful progression... here are some ramblings...

The montage was absolutely beautiful. It was particularly significant to me, because while SaiRat were staring at each other, they were remembering all of the moments in which they have taken care of each other. There was nothing Virat wanted more than to take care of Sai, and there was nothing Sai wanted more than to be taken care of Virat. There was nothing more that both of them wanted than to surrender themselves to each other. And, the monologues were such a perfect touch. Virat recognizing that this is all happening due to a lack of communication... that if he had confessed before, Sai would not be in the hospital today. Then, Sai asks herself why Virat had to ruin everything. Her inner thoughts therefore implied that they have something to be ruined. So, once again, even if it was unintentionally, she acknowledged the reality of their marriage and their relationship.

The Sunny and Virat scene touched my heart. Despite the fact that Virat has done things that are unacceptable, he has been alone in his regret, sorrow, guilt, and desperation throughout this entire sequence. His family members have been bashing him, rightfully so. But, he already knew that what he had done was wrong, even before anyone told him so. What he needed was someone to understand where he was coming from and someone to talk to. And today, with Sunny, he was finally able to do that. Virat's words to Sunny today showed his progression. He, without anyone having to explain to him or help him, already knew what had resulted in this entire situation. He knew that it was a result of his possessiveness and jealously building up and bursting inside of him. Sunny was trying to convince him to confess, and yet Virat said that he has lost his opportunity and that if he confesses now, Sai will leave him. So, instead, he will do his farz of being her husband and hope that she will see in his eyes and actions what he can't say in words. This to me was the most powerful dialogue of the entire episode. And, while it seems like they will be back to square 1, I don't think that will be the case. Little does Virat know, Sai already sees his love in his eyes and sees in his actions how he feels about her. That is why she is constantly confused about him in the first place. Because, she sees his actions and eyes saying one thing, but his words never confirm what she thinks is going on. At this point, Virat thinks that if he confesses, Sai will not believe him, because of the extent to which he has hurt her. He knows that he has betrayed her trust in him, and pained her to the core. And, he is completely right. So, instead, he wants to make it up to her...redeem himself...show her that he can be a good husband and that there is nothing more real for him than his love. He is so scared of losing her, that he would rather suffocate in his own feelings than to confess and risk her going away from him. I truly felt for him today. Because today, he chose the selfless thing to do. He wants to confess, but he knows that he has to redeem himself first. The most frustrating part about all of this is that little does he know, Sai is dying for his confession too... or rather, for him to make this marriage real. Even though he did it yesterday, she was in no state to comprehend him. Hopefully once all of this settles, she will be able to reflect on his words.

The scene when Sai is eating and SaiRat are staring at each other was once again beautiful. Sai has already forgiven Virat at this point. She is trying to hold her ground, but she is melting faster than an ice cube on fire. The moment when Virat was about to go inside, but decided not to because he saw her falling asleep was also really nice. No matter how desperate he is to talk to her, to spend time with her, at the end of the day, all that matters is that she recovers and gets better.

The next morning, when he comes into her room, he apologizes. This spoke volumes. He respects her boundaries fully. He knows that she does not want to see him, and he understands her pain. This reminded me of the scene when he put up the pillow wall himself even though Sai was already asleep... he is so gentle with her emotions and wishes.

The smile on Virat's face when Sai tells him that she will drink the coconut water... he knows that her walls are falling and he is hopeful that things will get better now. Pulkit seeing them together and leaving was really meaningful in that he wants to protect Sai and take care of her while she gets better, but at the end of the day, he knows that her happiness is in Virat. So, he will be there for her as long as she needs him, but at the end of the day, he will also play a part in bringing her back to where she belongs.

Also, the way in which Virat helped Sai when she was trying to get up... the intimacy and love pouring out of them was just 😭

When Sai says she has no home, Virat points to himself. He is her home. And she knows it too... she is just to hurt to admit nor accept it right now.

As Virat is leaving the room, Sai asks him if he stayed there the entire night so that he could take her home, and Virat says that he did, but he would have stayed regardless. To this, Sai asks him why. This girl is truly so desperate for him to clearly express his feelings to her, and yet he is too scared of hurting her to say the very words that she is dying to hear. Then, we got a typical SaiRat moment. Sai saying that he shouldn't miss his duty and that he should go home, and Virat saying that he has a more important duty. This was significant to me, because this time, he was meaning his duty as a husband, and Sai seemed to understand that in one way or another. She said that no person should come before his official duty. So, unknowingly so, she recognized that he was meaning she is the most important person to him. This has been a new progression throughout their hospital conversations. Sai is no longer countering him when he is expressing himself towards her nor pushing back as much. She is still confused and desperate for clear affirmation, yes... but, she is also starting to give into the fact that this relationship is real, even if it is unintentional on her part. Virat's smile in this scene was too precious. He could see that Sai wants answers from him regarding why he stayed and how he feels about her essentially...and he was relieved to see her getting back to her own self.

Virat essentially implying that he would have killed himself if something had happened to Sai was so heartbreaking. But, once again, he stopped short of fully expressing himself, and once again, Sai was desperate to hear the rest of his statement. These two are just going to keep on going in circles, even though both of them are on the crux of making this relationship real. Sai just needs the slightest push... but it needs to a clear and definite push that Virat, due to as expressed above, is unable to give her at this time.

Then, we finally got a monologue from Sai. She was crying, asking herself why Virat got so mad... was he jealous of AJ or is his thinking small? But, why would he be jealous since she is no one to him? The truth of the matter is that Virat already clearly expressed this to her yesterday, but she has just now calmed down, so she hasn't been able to reflect. But, even in her monologue today, it seemed like she knew that the answer was his jealously, and yet she wasn't giving herself the permission to accept it once again. That is why she tells herself that she means nothing to him. She is once again too scared to let herself believe that all of this is real, even though she practically knows at this point that it is. Also, she would not have already forgiven Virat if she thought that it was his mentality that was the problem. So, without even realizing it herself, she knows that all of this was due to the way in which he feels about her.

***

P.S.- The Pakhi scene was everything that I could have ever hoped for. The sternness with which he spoke, the way he was circling her, the way he said that he sees through her drama and her fake tears, the way he said that she can drop as low as she wants, but Sai and him will never be separated. And, perhaps the most important dialogue... that she has brought her current state upon herself. This scene was absolutely incredible.... this is the Virat we had all been dying to see. At this point, Virat knows that Pakhi is highly responsible for Sai battling for her life. There is nothing that is going to justify him ever becoming soft with her ever again.... so please Vankar, don't screw this up!!!

Excellent post. Super 👏👏. Loved the episode. Both Virat and Sai have come to realise or atleast analysing their unspoken words and actions. Loved the way Virat made her drink the coconut water and then requesting her to return with him . I don't know how he'll convince her since she's in no mood to go with him. Loved Virat and Sunny conversation. Poor Virat, he wants to confess but he knows he's missed the opportunity but has full faith that his actions will speak for themselves and Sai will realise sooner or later that he loves her. And, Sai has started to ponder over Virat's actions. This is slow progression and I hope this realisation dawns soon.

If I say I loved SaiRat moments more than Virat and Pakhi scene then I would be lying. I so loved this scene that I was dancing of joy💃. Loved his stern attitude and not giving her the chance to explain or trick him and manipulate him he gave her back. He ticked her off by saying he doesn't trust her and warned her that whatever she does she'll not be able to come between them. She can stoop low as she wants but she'll gain nothing. And, the last dialogue that she's to be blamed for her condition 👏👏👏👏. I hope there's a continuation tomorrow and hope CVs maintain the same attitude from Virat's side and not make him soft towards Pakhi again.

Fantastic post!!

You explained both viewpoints so beautifully. And some of the comments here too have added to the poignancy of the episode.

Thanks for the tag!

👏

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I read your take on the issue in the other post and loved it. 😳

@bold Loved it ...... transgression or a trait?

She is glad that choti soch is not his trait and what he did is a mistake. May be transgression is not the correct word.

Originally posted by: fatssrilanka

Excellent post. Super 👏👏. Loved the episode. Both Virat and Sai have come to realise or atleast analysing their unspoken words and actions. Loved the way Virat made her drink the coconut water and then requesting her to return with him . I don't know how he'll convince her since she's in no mood to go with him. Loved Virat and Sunny conversation. Poor Virat, he wants to confess but he knows he's missed the opportunity but has full faith that his actions will speak for themselves and Sai will realise sooner or later that he loves her. And, Sai has started to ponder over Virat's actions. This is slow progression and I hope this realisation dawns soon.

If I say I loved SaiRat moments more than Virat and Pakhi scene then I would be lying. I so loved this scene that I was dancing of joy💃. Loved his stern attitude and not giving her the chance to explain or trick him and manipulate him he gave her back. He ticked her off by saying he doesn't trust her and warned her that whatever she does she'll not be able to come between them. She can stoop low as she wants but she'll gain nothing. And, the last dialogue that she's to be blamed for her condition 👏👏👏👏. I hope there's a continuation tomorrow and hope CVs maintain the same attitude from Virat's side and not make him soft towards Pakhi again.

@underlined: so you’re telling me you like virakhi better than Sairat?? 🤣🤢🤣

Originally posted by: tptwi

@underlined: so you’re telling me you like virakhi better than Sairat?? 🤣🤢🤣

Yes, but only when Virat lashes at Pakhi🤣and does her beizzati🤣

I loved your post but I'm a little bummed that they just keep going around in circles. i love the gradual progression, the slow burn- but this back n forth is getting repetitive. Especially virat's inability to just say out what he feels in this vulnerable state is surprising. He is making such an effort to hold back . Sai is still a child, immature, stubborn. But Virat- he has already recognized that the problem is their communication. He even said it himself ki- if i had confessed things wouldn't be this way. He laments to sunny that he didnt confess but then his ultimate conclusion is the opposite of what he was acknowledging - I'm gonna shut up and wait! Atleast he should have said that I've hurt her too much for this to be the correct time to confess, she may not believe me , but I will tell her soon. But virats words ultimately boiled down to being- I'll keep doing my thing and wait for Sai to figure it out on her own. She will need to read my eyes and unsaid emotions! That all sounds good only in stories. In real life one cant read minds/eyes/unsaid things, we need words! especially when their relationship is so different....they didnt state of as spouses in the real sense. So eventually when they have lived together for 5-10 years they can understand each others silences but now they really cant. So this whole aankhein padhna, ankahi baatein sun paana is all hogwash. Sometimes it may work. But overall in their relationship at this nascent stage, they need to talk, not brush things away!

Sai is waiting for him to say what he has decided to not say! She is waiting to hear him confirm that everything hes doing is not out of righteousness/zimmedari/guardian farz but out of LOVE! She asks him repeatedly and he keeps giving jalebis. Uff. 🙈