Back to farz & duty, but this time it's a bit different.... - Page 4

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

My answers in red

I love the way you have written about their relationship as a rocking boat ❤️ It so beautifully captures their essence...

Originally posted by: tptwi

I completely agree with you int hat people's faults are not easily washed away, and that in a marriage, it's all about trial and error. This is why when some people think that Sai should immediately leave Virat for his actions, I think otherwise. It is not so easy to walk away from love. People make mistakes and people act out of character. That is the reality of human nature.

I agree that it is not easy to walk away from a marriage. People hold on even when others think the relationship is ruined, they tolerate a lot more, forgive transgressions small and large.

I believe the reason we often hear calls for Sai to leave Virat is due to the domestic abuse episodes. Those episodes were hard to watch and I'm sure many SaiRat fans left the show due to these infamous tracks. It filled people with apprehension (me included). I think makers should have modified it to make it huge enough to cause a dent in the relationship but not as obnoxious as a domestic abuse. Without it, with whatever flaws Virat has, most people would have been still invested in SaiRat.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I agree that it is not easy to walk away from a marriage. People hold on even when others think the relationship is ruined, they tolerate a lot more, forgive transgressions small and large.

I believe the reason we often hear calls for Sai to leave Virat is due to the domestic abuse episodes. Those episodes were hard to watch and I'm sure many SaiRat fans left the show due to these infamous tracks. It filled people with apprehension (me included). I think makers should have modified it to make it huge enough to cause a dent in the relationship but not as obnoxious as a domestic abuse. Without it, with whatever flaws Virat has, most people would have been still invested in SaiRat.

The domestic abuse episodes were extremely hard for me to watch as well. I agree with you in that I wish the makers could have toned it down. The best example that comes to mind is that Virat did not have to grab Sai's hand during the PD lunch drama.

It is quite heartbreaking because there are so many people like Virat in real life. People who love their significant other with their entire heart, but then do things like this that appear to be completely out of character, but are actually a hidden part of who they are. Virat gets caught up in his anger and blacks out, and even though it seems unlike him, at the end of the day, it is a part of his nature. If this were real life, then he would need to go to therapy and understand why he behaves in the way he does. And, I think I have said this before, but this is why I really do understand and feel for his character. Because, I feel as though there are 2 parts of him that are always at odds. Even Sai said this to him in front of the mandir... there is one side of him that is courageous, protective, humble, and recognizes his mistakes. But, there is another side that is volatile and aggressive. I can't help but think that this is due to his upbringing and the constant tension between the love and support he has gotten from aai and the toxicity he has experienced living in CN. This doesn't justify his actions, but in reality, this is what is called the cycle of abuse, and it is nearly impossible to break out of it. I have seen it continue over generations in my own family.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I agree that it is not easy to walk away from a marriage. People hold on even when others think the relationship is ruined, they tolerate a lot more, forgive transgressions small and large.

I believe the reason we often hear calls for Sai to leave Virat is due to the domestic abuse episodes. Those episodes were hard to watch and I'm sure many SaiRat fans left the show due to these infamous tracks. It filled people with apprehension (me included). I think makers should have modified it to make it huge enough to cause a dent in the relationship but not as obnoxious as a domestic abuse. Without it, with whatever flaws Virat has, most people would have been still invested in SaiRat.

yes this is sad! But that’s the reality. I have written this POV from Sai’s view point in the other thread. She is troubled because if virat has this choti soch, will she be able to forgive him. She would have to because she loves him. It is not easy!! She forgave him easily because she realized it is just an emotional transgression… not his trait

I liked her dialogue to virat that he would not be able to change many things in her life and she used the word “mehasoos” so I took it like she is deeply conflicted about the fact that even if it is his weakness, she will forgive him eventually and she doesn’t like it! But that is love 😒, it makes you illogical and blind.

As always I love your outlook❤️

I felt this was one of the best episodes in Ghum history.

Starting with the montage

Montage was absolutely beautiful.. Humari Adhuri kahani song marked that their story is about to become "Puri" soon. It was so beautiful as they each reminisced the way the other took care of them. Love begins by taking care of the closest ones – the ones at home, says Mother Teresa.. SaiRat love began this way, taking care of each other, as a family.

Sunny Virat Tete a Tete

I always wanted Sunny to be the one who had this conversation with Virat. Heart to heart conversation between the two is always good. Being his best friend from child hood, Sunny understands him well, he knows SaiRat’s feelings for each other and the plight of their marriage as well. Virat is guilt ridden and he knows he was culpable, he wanted someone to confide in and help him through. I felt Virat was cent percent right in not rushing to propose, and continue with his husbandly duties for a while until she too is comfortable in expressing her love.

I hope Viru will continue his repentance by apologizing to Ajinkya..

SaiRat conversation

It was emotional.. I loved the part where Virat said he has more important duty.. She knows this is not the first time he has prioritized her over his duty and she realized how important she was to him. Virat almost saying he would have killed himself if she did not made it was very significant and she deep down understood it.

Loved the way you observe his smiles, they are precious isn’t it.. each and every expression of Ayesha and Neil conveys volumes of emotions, even those the dialogues fail to express.

Pakhi’s Beratement

The way Virat vehemently spoke to her and showed her place was outstanding. I hope there is more to watch tomorrow, as Aai will join the parade. Hope he shuts her off completely after this.

To top it off.. There were no Chakrams in this episode..

Originally posted by: Amor_fati

As always I love your outlook❤️

I felt this was one of the best episodes in Ghum history.

Starting with the montage

Montage was absolutely beautiful.. Humari Adhuri kahani song marked that their story is about to become "Puri" soon. It was so beautiful as they each reminisced the way the other took care of them. Love begins by taking care if the closest ones – the ones at home, says Mother Teresa.. SaiRat love began this way, taking care of each other, as a family.

Sunny Virat Tete a Tete

I always wanted Sunny to be the one who had this conversation with Virat. Heart to heart conversation between the two is always good. Being his best friend from child hood, Sunny understands him well, he knows SaiRat’s feelings for each other and the plight of their marriage as well. Virat is guilt ridden and he knows he was culpable, he wanted someone to confide in and help him through. I felt Virat was cent percent right in not rushing to propose, and continue with his husbandly duties for a while until she too is comfortable in expressing her love.

I hope Viru will continue his repentance by apologizing to Ajinkya..

SaiRat conversation

It was emotional.. I loved the part where Virat said he has more important duty.. She knows this is not the first time he has prioritized her over his duty and she realized how important she was to him. Virat almost saying he would have killed himself if she did not made it was very significant and she deep down understood it.

Loved the way you observe his smiles, they are precious isn’t it.. each and every expression of Ayesha and Neil conveys volumes of emotions, even those the dialogues fail to express.

Pakhi’s Beratement

The way Virat vehemently spoke to her and showed her place was outstanding. I hope there is more to watch tomorrow, as Aai will join the parade. Hope he shuts her off completely after this.

To top it off.. There were no Chakrams in this episode..

@1st bold: This is such a beautiful quote. I have always loved it. When thinking about it in the context of SaiRat, it reminds me of the "you are my family" scene... one of my favorite scenes to this day. As you have said, SaiRat have always taken care of each other as a family. And to me, this started even before they were married. Virat and KJ were family... it was evident in the bond they shared... and through that, SaiRat were family. The way in which Virat protected Sai in GC spoke volumes. They have been connected from the start. Although their progression has been slow, the love has always been there in one form or another.

@2nd bold: Ayesha's expression during this scene said it all. She looked horrified even though Virat didn't finish his sentence. Like you have said, she understood what he meant. There was a strange contradiction in this scene, though. On one hand, she couldn't even fathom the thought of him dying... she did not want to hear him say it, because it would hurt her too much. Even if she is no longer in this world, she does not want him to experience the same...but little does she know, that without her, there is nothing but pain in this world for him. On the other hand, she asked him to finish his sentence and looked angry when he didn't. Once again, she is desperate to hear him say how he feels about her. Even though she can sense it and see it, she needs verbal affirmation.

Originally posted by: tptwi

The domestic abuse episodes were extremely hard for me to watch as well. I agree with you in that I wish the makers could have toned it down. The best example that comes to mind is that Virat did not have to grab Sai's hand during the PD lunch drama.

It is quite heartbreaking because there are so many people like Virat in real life. People who love their significant other with their entire heart, but then do things like this that appear to be completely out of character, but are actually a hidden part of who they are. Virat gets caught up in his anger and blacks out, and even though it seems unlike him, at the end of the day, it is a part of his nature. If this were real life, then he would need to go to therapy and understand why he behaves in the way he does. And, I think I have said this before, but this is why I really do understand and feel for his character. Because, I feel as though there are 2 parts of him that are always at odds. Even Sai said this to him in front of the mandir... there is one side of him that is courageous, protective, humble, and recognizes his mistakes. But, there is another side that is volatile and aggressive. I can't help but think that this is due to his upbringing and the constant tension between the love and support he has gotten from aai and the toxicity he has experienced living in CN. This doesn't justify his actions, but in reality, this is what is called the cycle of abuse, and it is nearly impossible to break out of it.

I have seen it continue over generations in my own family.

I was always amazed by your wisdom - now I know why❤️. I have seen many toxic families, have seen lot of Virat's weaknesses in people who have grown up in such manipulative families. But domestic abuse - it's too unpalatable.

@red This was my problem. They showed those scenes so casually ...without addressing it sensitively. Many women suffer silently - so there should not be any romanticisation. You are absolutely right about how it would be in real life. They had no business to show such sensitive things in the name of drama.

@green Beautifully expressed. I do understand Virat and where his flaws come from. He is a good man but the toxicity of his upbringing definitely left a mark. He never seems to have had emotional education - on how to express emotions in a healthy way. He either suppresses his needs to maintain status quo or becomes volatile when he is overwhelmed. He requires counselling sessions. He deserves happiness. But it cannot come at the cost of someone else's happiness or peace of mind. I have said it (controversially) before - that in some ways Virat is also a victim.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I was always amazed by your wisdom - now I know why❤️. I have seen many toxic families, have seen lot of Virat's weaknesses in people who have grown up in such manipulative families. But I've been fortunate to never having seen or experienced domestic abuse - so for me it's too unpalatable.

@red This was my problem. They showed those scenes so casually ...without addressing it sensitively. Many women suffer silently - so there should not be any romanticisation. You are absolutely right about how it would be in real life. They had no business to show such sensitive things in the name of drama.

@green Beautifully expressed. I do understand Virat and where his flaws come from. He is a good man but the toxicity of his upbringing definitely left a mark. He never seems to have had emotional education - on how to express emotions in a healthy way. He either suppresses his needs to maintain status quo or becomes volatile when he is overwhelmed. He requires counselling sessions. He deserves happiness. But it cannot come at the cost of someone else's happiness or peace of mind. I have said it (controversially) before - that in some ways Virat is also a victim.

@bold: You have said this all so aptly ❤️ And, I do not think it is controversial at all to say that Virat is a victim. He most definitely is. In fact, I believe that most people, if not everyone, living in that toxic household is a victim to a certain extent. People don't just turn evil in my opinion. It is their circumstances that lead them to become the way that they are. I am never going to justify anything that Ninu has ever done, because that man is truly vile in nearly all aspects of his life... no matter how much the makers try to whitewash him. But, when Sai brought him the harmonium... my heart truly did break upon seeing his reaction. Prior to Sai coming to CN, it was a place where people were hardly allowed to be happy... to have passions. And without passions in life, people become lost. When he saw the harmonium, he remembered that he too deserves to live life... not just exist. And, despite all of these years living in CN, no one had even thought or considered to support him in the one thing he loves so much. Sorry if this is a tangent, but what you wrote just made me think of this...

Originally posted by: tptwi

@bold: I disagree that Virat cares more about Sai than she does for him. Right after their marriage, she stood up to DIG sir for him to clear his name. Then, she went and begged Pakhi to come home because she thought that he was miserable without her... just think about how difficult that would have been for Sai.. because although she wasn't in love with Virat yet, he was still her husband, and she still felt a deep connection and even possessiveness for him. She has constantly defended him in front of the family and even Pakhi when they have misunderstood him. She came running back to take care of him after he got shot, despite the way in which he had treated her during the ousting kaand. Perhaps what shows her feelings towards him most clearly is the way in which she has always forgiven him despite his impulsive outbursts towards her...and this is exactly what she will do this time around too. She is a fierce, strong, and independent woman who has never tolerated people acting wrongly towards anyone, but when it comes to Virat, she is completely vulnerable. So, while it may appear as though Virat cares for her or feels for her more than the other way around, I think that is mostly because he has realized his feelings and we have not. So, lately, we have been seeing his point of view more than her's. And, as you have already pointed out, everything Sai does for his family is essentially for him.

I completely agree with you int hat people's faults are not easily washed away, and that in a marriage, it's all about trial and error. This is why when some people think that Sai should immediately leave Virat for his actions, I think otherwise. It is not so easy to walk away from love. People make mistakes and people act out of character. That is the reality of human nature.

@bold I don’t mean that care .. global Wala .😂😂😂. Pati Patni ke beech bahut type of care hota hai ..
virat always asks Sai how was ur day.. who are ur friends , did u eat .. what do you like .. do u want to go out and eat .. when did Sai ask all this about virat .. husbands start expecting a lot more care from the wife .. I know Sai is not in that wifey zone yet .. so virat feels disappointed .. virat did a superb party for Sai .. on her birthday abd Sai was expecting this also .. when has Sai made some thing special for virat to eat , or a fancy shirt for him ..

Yes she threw a party for devi tai , called pakhi , DIG all these are external stuff..but what about one to one care .. There in lies the do appointment for virat and insecurity ..He makes her feel special .. a princess but her care is more affectionate abd impersonal

Originally posted by: sadiltl

yes this is sad! But that’s the reality. I have written this POV from Sai’s view point in the other thread. She is troubled because if virat has this choti soch, will she be able to forgive him. She would have to because she loves him. It is not easy!! She forgave him easily because she realized it is just an emotional transgression… not his trait

I liked her dialogue to virat that he would not be able to change many things in her life and she used the word “mehasoos” so I took it like she is deeply conflicted about the fact that even if it is his weakness, she will forgive him eventually and she doesn’t like it! But that is love 😒, it makes you illogical and blind.

I read your take on the issue in the other post and loved it. 😳

@bold Loved it ...... transgression or a trait?