FF - The Truth and Aftermath - Completed- Last Part Pg15 - Page 6

Wooowww! Loved it once again! I actually have many many things to say this time, and sorry for the rambling in advance. 

Firstly, I wanted to tell you that I think your writing is truly versatile. I really like how you used an omniscient POV to summarize everything that happened over the year in a concise, yet effective manner.

I can definitely say that all your effort paid off. Are you sure you have never taken a Creative Writing class before, or are you just a natural? You seem to always know when to shift POVs, include conversation, description, change tone, etc. to create the desired impact. I've read many fanfictions before, but I don't think I've ever paid as much attention to every word written as I have with yours. I usually tend to focus more on the combined scenes of the main protagonists, but that is not the case with your story.

Though different from the others, this part is superior in its own way. There aren't as many emotions on the surface, as you mention, but you still feel the underlying currents anyway, and that is your success as a writer!

You know what, if you find the idea appealing, I think you should send this to the CVs. Your writing is far superior in my opinion and it may even give them some ideas for future tracks and a gist of what the fans expect. Who knows, they may even use parts of it. I've indeed seen it happen on other shows where ideas from india forums have been directly used, but I believe those CVs regularly visit india forums, which I don't think is the case for the CVs of YTG. I don't know if anyone on this forum has tried contacting the CVs or the production house Cinevistas, but you could surely give it a shot if you like the idea. I think you could also publish this story on Wattpad to gain more visibility.

And finally, if there is any improvement at all that you can make to your writing, if you choose to send it (though I love it the way it is), it would probably be to include more Hindi dialogues. Yet, your writing is already so descriptive that I'm translating the lines to Hindi in my head as I read, so I never feel the lack of it, and I am sure all the other readers of this story feel the same. In fact, an interesting thing is that I was convinced that you had written Hindi dialogues until I went back and reread some parts, and was actually surprised that you had not. Lol!

Great job once again, and don't forget to update soon! I'm sure your next part will be even better.  :)

u r brilliant writer😃

Thank you dear for comment and reading. Hope you like further parts too..

Part 7

It was quite early morning in the city of Mumbai, A city who never sleeps was bustling with activities early morning as a train arrived in a busy station of Mumbai. Shantanu stepped out of that train feeling mixed emotions. It was thought of meeting her after one year that kept haunting his mind ever since he boarded that train.

Shantanu had been living with his Chanda Ma for over three months now and slowly building up their lives with finally finding a decent job in Kolkata on his own merits rather than his previous Surname. Before leaving for Mumbai, he had promised his Chanda Ma that he would do everything to bring his Puchki back , he waited so long for this moment.. Now he wanted to heal her and himself along with it..to give another chance to life..

Was he ready to face her? Things said to him in letter still echoing in his mind. Those words still piercing his heart. He knew she was in Mumbai from long time, it was his Pathan baba who had picked up his call when he was frantically trying to reach out to her one year back. From then he had been in regular touch with Pathan baba to know about his Puchki. Of course he managed to hide this from Puchki by taking promise from his Pathan Baba.

 After all these months he never could gather courage to face her, he wanted to give her time she needed. He was worried for her as in all these months, his Pathan Baba had given aching descriptions of how Puchki has been dealing with her decision.  It wasn't easy for him to live in this past one year with her decision too but then this was her punishment to him , he had to accept it.  Then why from past few days he had been feeling this urge to see her from his own eyes and perhaps still try to make everything alright for his sake and for her sake too.

Pathan Baba Aap mujhe chutti k liye kyu bol rhe hain.. Aap jaante ho na main apni Job se aise chutti nahi le sakti.. Asmita argued with her Pathan Baba as he tried to stop her from going to office.. He knew who was coming... He was waiting for this moment and wanted so desperately for his children to meet after so long.

Bitiya ,ek baar mera kehna maan le.. Mujhe kuch theek  nahi lag raha.. Mere liye ruk ja Bitiya Rani.. His repeated pleas melted Puchki and she decided to call it a day off at work. She called up her Junior Inspector Jay and told him to take in charge in her absence. After a couple of more calls to her office, she sat down beside her Pathan Baba to see Sunrise in their balcony. It was something in the morning that was different for Puchki, she looked at Sun rising from far above and felt some strange feelings that she used to get whenever her shantanu was near her.  She got up and went to her room suddenly..

As she was alone, she took out that lone photo in her purse. It was her Shantanu. Why was she missing him so much today, why she was feeling that he was near? Very near.. It was difficult to brush aside this feeling more today.. as she decided to dress up for her office today.. She knew Pathan Baba would be upset but She had no choice.. Her feelings were becoming her weakness and she had only one way of dealing with it...

As she got dressed up and came out of the room, her Pathan baba got worried and asked her..

Par Bitiya tumne toh chutti.. Before he could complete.. Puchki came near to him and took his hand in her hands..

Baba , Aaj mat roko..Kuch yaad aa gaya aur unn yaadon se nikalna bahot zaroori hain.. Nahi toh unhi mein qaid ho jaungi hamesha k liye... She took his blessings and instructed nurse in the house to take good care of him.

As she stepped out, He was there in her way... Her Shantanu was there in front of her... A moment just stopped between them as they looked at each other after what it seems like ages. He was actually there, she wasn't imagining it and he was spellbound with the sheer impact of finding his life once again. She was like always his chandini... her eyes saying so much to him that he didn't need any words to understand...

Puchki... Those words came from his mouth as he gasped a breathe to speak finally.

Puchki came out of her spell as she looked at him. He looked so weak as if time had taken a toll on his health. Those eyes were weary with lack of sleep and those tears in them still strung her heart... She was concerned for his health and that concerned look of hers was masked by her indifference soon. He was there finally as if she was waiting for this moment from so long... What took him so long she initially thought.. But how could she show this all to him... She had become used to hiding her feelings too like him in past one year... She gulped and looked away.. Gathering some courage she walked past him ignoring his questions... His very existence for that matter... She stormed out of the house and sat in her car with those windows closed as she burst out finally with tears.

Still standing on the door, Shantanu was feeling heavy... Seeing Puchki after so long, how badly he wished she would come running in his arms...He still smiled with a smirk on his lips as tears made way out from those eyes at last...

Bachpan se hi ziddi hain.. Itni aasani se nahi manegi..