MiNeil OS Candle Light
This is quite different. May be not everyone's cup of tea as it deals with a sensitive subject but do give it a try.
As Minni looked at her image in the mirror she couldn’t believe she was getting ready for a date night. She checked the message again on her phone for the umpteenth time just to be sure it was not some kind of sick joke or may be she had misunderstood it. The letters of the message were clear enough, Neil, her husband had asked her out on a date, a candle light dinner.
She couldn’t believe her eyes. She was going to meet him after a whole week. Her heart was full of hope but her brain knew better. Their marriage was hanging on very weak thread or perhaps it already ended and he has just called her to convey the same. May be he wants to part ways amicably with no hard feelings or else who would ask for a romantic candle light dinner when romance has clearly evaporated from their marriage. Cheating in a relationship ends all possible scenarios to rebuild it. Its one of the most cruel way of not only destroying a relationship but also trust and understanding which fuels a healthy marriage. And this hell has broken loose on their marriage.
Once she came to realize this horrific truth she was never the same, he was never the same. Their love, their home, their marriage of 7 years and togetherness of more than 12 years just shattered into pieces. People say these kind of things happens in the case of arrange marriages where couple don’t love each other and eventually one of them finds love outside of their marriage but she had a love marriage. Then why did this happen with her. What wrong she has done that she has to face this situation now.
And Neil, how dare he ask her out for a candle light dinner?How can he do this as if nothing happened. Did he forget all about it in just a week and he also expect her to forget everything and move on with him? Is she ready for this? Will she ever be able to forget about cheating and more importantly forgive? Are things this simple? Yes, they have two children together and divorce will impact children’s life but will she be able to look herself in the mirror if she let go such a big mistake?
Minni didn’t even notice but all the time when she was engrossed in having all kinds of thoughts she was absent mindedly getting ready for the dinner date and as she was doing her hair she realized she was all ready to go. After all that has happened, one thing was clear, she loved her husband and even though their marriage was on the brink of breaking down, she was longing to spend time with him after whole week of staying away. She didn’t know what will happen? What will he say? But she wanted to go because she wanted to say so many things and listen so many things from him. They had hardly talked once she left his house with her two year old boy. Her elder kid,5 year old daughter was staying with Neil.
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Neil checked his watch again. Though Minni had messaged him that she will come but still he was not sure about it. Once that cheating episode was out, she was behaving as if there is no hope left for them. He knows he has made mistakes but they have their whole life in front of them.Their marriage, their children’s future, their love….everything is at stake and he wont let it go without putting a good fight. If she needs reason to stay with him then he is ready with a whole list. But he is not letting her go just like that.
He had chosen her favourite restaurant for their candlelight dinner, just like they did it before their marriage. Those were the days, they would spend all their time together, dreaming about their beautiful future together. Never did he ever imagined that their love will fall prey to the monotonous routine of working life and everything will soon feel like working like a machinery instead of living. He doesn’t know exactly the moment when they become so indifferent to each other that a place for a third person to come between them was made.
Is it really unfair to ask for forgiveness? In this whole week when he was away from her he has thought about it multiple times. What will actually happen if they decide to part ways? How children’s life gonna be impacted? How they will manage EMI of their lavish house? How they will divide things that both of them bought to decorate their house and life? Will he ever be able to move on from her?
The answer was big NO. He knew he cant live without her and same is true for her. So he will try his best to convince her to give this marriage a chance. Their love is not that weak that a random incident of cheating can end it forever.
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As Neil resolve to fight for their love, he noticed Minni has come. He couldn’t stop from smiling when he noticed she was wearing the dress he gifted her on last birthday. She had hated that dress and yet she chose to wear it today for him. May be all is not lost.
“How are you?” Both asked at the same time.
“You tell first. How are you? How have you been managing? I mean you were not in right frame of mind when you left. Your migraine problem aggravates when you are in tension.” Neil asked in concern.
“Really? You care about my migraine in this situation? How can you do this Neil? This candle light dinner….what do you want to prove?” Minni almost shouted at him for showing concern. It seemed like a salt on her wounds.
“All I did in this week was think about you…us. Were you not thinking the same? How we landed in this situation?” Neil answered as he closed his eyes like he relived the pain.
“Yes, I have been thinking the same. But no matter how much I think, cheating is something I cant forgive.” Minni almost hissed with hatred.
“But you cant overlook the reason why it has happened. I mean you are more successful than me, more busy, you don’t give much time in home. I look after children mostly and it does affect my state of mind….” Neil started counting the possible reasons which led to dissatisfaction, frustration in their relationship but Minni didn’t let him complete.
“Nothing….nothing you say can be used as an excuse for betraying your life partner’s trust. What I did is unforgettable and unforgiveable. I cheated you. I slept with someone else. I hurt our relationship in most horrendous way possible. And the thing that I had no plans to ever tell you about it, makes me sick. If you have not found out accidentally from that man’s messages on my phone, I was planning to keep you in dark always. I am a sick person Neil. I am an unfaithful wife, a cheater and there can be no forgiveness for me. So please stop doing whatever you are trying to do with this stupid candle light dinner plan.” Minni said with utmost anger and disgust for herself as her eyes kept shedding tears of remorse.
She stood up to leave but Neil held her hand. “Please, sit down. Cry to your heart’s content but please don’t let these negative feelings cloud your judgement.”
“What are you made of Neil? Any normal husband would have thrown divorce papers on his cheating wife till now and you are here trying to console me.” Minni asked in disbelief.
“But I am not normal. I am hopelessly in love with you Minni and I know you love me too. Our relationship is going through so much, these are the trying times and I wont let it crumble under the pressure.” Neil said with determination.
“Come on, we have to talk it out.” He pleaded further and Minni finally sat down.
“I know I only found about it accidently but I knew something was off with you ever since that incident had taken place and when I read the messages, you could have easily lied about it but you chose to break down and bare it all.” Neil continued.
“I was dying from inside since that fateful night. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that you will never see my face again. I swear Neil, I have always loved you….only you. That night….with him…it was just one time and it was just a mistake…few weak moments and I just….I don’t love him. It meant nothing….nothing.I love you…just you. You don’t even know how many times I have thought that I could undo that night from my life but….I don’t know how it happened…in what moment…I just hate it now. I can give every thing to delete it from my life.”Minni broke down crying.
Neil pressed her hand to console her. “If only we had power to undo past then I would also have loved to undo many of my mistakes. You are more successful than me. No matter how liberal or broadminded I am but I am a man after all and we live in patriarchal society. Sometimes when people praise you and make fun of me being working from home and looking after children…it affects my ego and self confidence. All this coupled with your busy schedules…I didn’t realize when I stopped caring for those little moments between us which nurtures a relationship. When romance burned out and gave place to boredom, when affection was replaced by complaints, when spending time together just started to mean catering to children’s needs….I didn’t even realize. I know its you who have cheated but when something goes wrong in a marriage its not always one person’s fault. Maybe my apathy, lack of understanding pushed you away.”
“No, don’t put it on yourself. You have always been by my side. You didn’t want children but you said yes because of my happiness. If you had not chosen to let go your ambition and work from home then I wouldn’t have thought about two pregnancies.” Now Minni held Neil’s hand in assurance.
“Tell me honestly, are you not angry on me?” Minni asked the important question.
“I was, it would be a lie if I say I am not at all affected by it. In fact I was so angry when I found out that I wanted to break down everything, pull out my hair, shout at you and what not. But then when I was done with my anger I began to think what do I want now. First, like you said, like every other cheated partner, I wanted divorce. Then I kept thinking and imagining my life post divorce and I hated everything about it. When you come home from work, when we play together with our children, our cosy home, our small world, little things we do for each other, the way we get each other like no one does, our love, our warmth….I love all this. In fact, I live for this and I am not ready to move on…from this…from you…from us. I want to put up a fight. I am ready to forget and forgive everything if we have smallest of a chance to rebuild what we lost.” Neil bared his heart out.
“I am sorry…so so so sorry. I don’t know what got into me? Why I did what I did but…I promise…in fact I know I wont do it ever again in my life. I wont ever cheat you. It will hurt me more than it will hurt you. Right now also I am writhing with guilt. I would die for a chance to save what we shared.” Minni also cried her heart out.
“Then lets leave all this behind. I chose this place because it’s the same place we came for our first date. Its where it all started. Lets build it again. Considering this candle light as pure flame, lets hold hands and take our wedding vows again, burn all the negativity in this flame. We have each other, our children….we can do this. We can get past it.” Neil said with his eyes shining with hopes.
“Really? Can this be possible? And what about future? Will you be able to trust me again? Will your heart will not be filled with doubts when I will go on business trips? Will things ever be same again?” Minni expressed her doubts.
“I don’t know about that. Yes, it will be difficult. There will be insecurities, fears and apprehensions but nothing of it matters when we are together. I know we will conquer it all. We will tackle one thing at a time.Are you ready for this? You have to forgive yourself first before we start our journey again. In order to rebuild a relationship, foundation needs to be strong. We cant afford any cracks this time.” Neil assured.
“I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself but if it means I have a chance with you again then I will try my best to get past it.” Minni confessed.
“I love you.” Neil said as he scrunched his nose trying to avoid tears from falling down but after a while he gave up. He was not going to hide any vulnerability from his Minni now.
“I love you too.” Minni replied smiling amidst her tears showing that she meant every word she said. She is grateful for the chance she has gotten again and she will not waste it.
As they both held hands and looked in each others eyes, the candle flame appeared more bright than ever. The candle light dinner which had once started the journey of their love had once again consumed the darkness from their life giving them new ray of hope.
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