PART 5
Abhira stood in front of Vidya's room with the gold bangles in her hand, the one she had gifted her after Abhira convinced her to take a stand for Armaan and stop Dadisa from asking him to choose them or leave. One last thing she had to return before she can leave. She was done with her exams, and Armaan was free from this burden of her responsibility holding him back. And she wants to be freed too, from the weight that Vidya had tied on her hands, with these bangles.
She removed the bangles from her wrist and for a second she stared at the cuts underneath. Perhaps she had learnt to dish out violence like the Poddars, perhaps she had also learnt how to take it like the Poddars. Because in this house they teach you how to lose your voice and lose yourself everyday till you become one of them.
She entered the room with a thumping heart, with the weight that burdened her wrists now in her hands. But nothing could reduce what weighed her chest. She wish she had asked Chachi sa to return the bangles to Vidya, but Abhira had this need to be on her own and not to rely on anybody because more than anything she needed to gaurd herself, as much as she drowned in her agonies, it still felt easier to let that loneliness crawl under her skin than it did to hope for anything better.
"I...I just wanted to return you these", she spoke hesitantly, slightly shifting on her feet, finding it difficult to let her gaze fix at one particular thing.
Vidya walked towards Abhira and as if it were an instinct Abhira took a step back, halting Vidya in her tracks at an arm's length, extending her hand to drop the bangles in her hands.
It was as if after ages, that Vidya allowed herself to look at Abhira and she could see it now, what Manisha meant went she said they have managed to kill the child. Abhira looked like she had aged twice in the last few days, her body looked frail, and the way she avoided any eye contact reminded Vidya of the way Rohit would do that when she would scold him. And then it hit her, wasn't Abhira a child too? Without realising she kept looking at her face, her big eyes that now had a night sky of broken hopes underneath, the eyes...they never lie but if she had to look for the truth in Abhira's eyes, she probably won't be able to take it.
"You don't have to give it back to me. I might be harsh but my heart is big enough to not take back a gift...", Vidya spoke.Abhira smiled a little, and not her usual smile that would brighten the entire room but the kind of smile laced with a certain amount of torment, and defeat.
"These...were never a gift. These bangles were something you gave me in return of a promise to stay by Armaan's side for a life time", Abhira spoke, her fingers tracing the patterns on the bangle. "Armaan has been freed of the responsibility that my Mumma in her desperation endowed upon him. Now, I would like to be freed too..."
Vidya stared at her with a mixture of anger and guilt plaguing her. "There's a huge difference between what I did and what your mother did Abhira. I gave you a responsibility out of love and trust..."
Before Vidya could finish her statement, Abhira interrupted her, she has had enough insults dished out at her Mumma, she won't be taking anymore, "Indeed there's a huge difference aunty. One you wouldn't ever understand, because you aren't the mother on her deathbed looking at her broken child, with a threat to her life looming over her head. You... aren't the mother of a daughter who only ever had her...who would be orphaned and alone in a cruel world once she is gone. You... aren't the mother who would selflessly put her life on the line to save someone else's child, like my mother did to save yours...and despite all of that I wish...she wasn't all that...I wish she wasn't the kind of mother who would treat any child like her own...I wish she wasn't the kind of mother who would rather die for someone as ungrateful and weak as Armaan than live for me..." Abhira was breathing heavily by the end. Her words today, had taken their own accord, as if the anger and grief of losing her mother had spilled like a bottle of ink on an empty page.
Vidya looked at Abhira aghast. This was a detail she didn't know about or rather she has never cared enough to know. Abhira's mother had died saving Armaan, why wouldn't he tell them that.
"Perhaps in his persistent quest to gain your validation he forgot to mention how my mother died and what circumstances made her force Armaan into marrying him. I don't support what she did...if anything, I wish she hadn't made that choice for me, because I would have never made this choice for myself...and she knew that. She just...wanted me to be safe and continue to live even after she's gone, wouldn't you want that for your child too or was it just my mother and her selfless tendencies?", Abhira teared up, because the truth was exhausting, this pain was draining her and each breath felt like a struggle but there were things she has to set straight before she left.
"From the day that I have entered this mansion I have had to defend myself and my Mumma from the insults and accusations you threw her way, despite the fact that you knew nothing of her, you did not know that she had single handedly fought the world, their taunts and their attempts to push her down. You wouldn't know that she was a woman working night and day to make this world a better place...she was a woman who brought me up, protected me from wolves that would devour a lone woman, she taught me everything that I need to know to survive on my own, she taught me to use my voice... something none of you would ever relate to because when was the last time the Poddar woman were allowed to use theirs? Dadisa hates me for that, she hates me for not being what she wants me to be, and has made it clear since day one and I appreciate that she has been consistent on her stand. But I would never know what makes you hate me, especially when you have also claimed to love me like your own child. So tell me aunty, would a mother know how to kill her own child? Would a mother know how to hate a daughter she had claimed to hold close? Would a mother, orphan an already orphaned child...the way you did?"
"Was it that easy aunty...to call someone your own and discard them like trash in a second. Was I really that easy to let go of?" Abhira couldn't help the vulnerability that slipped a little because despite everything that has happened, her own guilt and grief, she had tried to build a home for herself with this family and it felt unfair, for them to break it one brick at a time and yet act like martyrs. Out of all the relationships she had gained and lost in the last few months, of all the people who had embraced her and then stabbed her right where it would hurt the most, it was the wound that Vidya gave that had caused her the maximum damage. Perhaps because the only relationship Abhira has had all her life was what she had with her mother, the only role she has ever known and played was that of being her mother's daughter and it killed her...being told that she wasn't worthy of being one when all her life, that is the only thing god has found her worthy of.
As twisted as it was in a lot of ways, losing a family even though the one that was never truly hers, felt like losing her Mumma all over again, it felt like being orphaned again...
Vidya stared at Abhira, with a stream of tears falling down her eyes. With the sudden guilt dawning upon her, she stumbled a step back, realising the cracks in their very own foundation. They have all been so prejudiced with their own beliefs, they had chosen to ignore a truth that could have prevented a lot of damage. All because Armaan chose to protect his own image than of the woman who died saving him, all because they have made him like that. They have made him the monster they are and for them, he chose to be one. For Vidya, her whole life flashed in front of her eyes, all those moments where she had suppressed her voice, distorting with the times she had herself become the suppressor.And now when she truly sees her, beyond her own rage, Abhira looked isolated and estranged, as if her loneliness had radiated outwards.
"I...I didn't know all that... Abhira...I didn't...I wouldn't have said all of that beta", Vidya tried to speak but she couldn't form a coherent reason that would justify herself actions.
Abhira's expressions twisted in pain, and she closed her eyes, her voice barely above a whisper, "I beg you...do not...do not...ever call me beta again. Do not treat me like you see me as a child again, when you have been treating me like trash all these days...Mumma wouldn't ever do that to me...she wouldn't, ever...call me a mistake and I can't taint the only true relationship I have had by associating any part of it with you."
Abhira clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into her flesh, in an attempt to subdue the pain she felt in her chest, the pain that wouldn't let her breath. Before she could break down in yet another panic attack she walked out of the room, leaving a guilt ridden Vidya watching the doors of all the beautiful things that could have been, close on her.
"Iss ladki ki na toh Maa hai, na toh Ghar hai"
Vidya remembered that is what Kaveri had said about Abhira went Ruhi went home for pagphere. And not just then, but time and time again, each of them had reminded Abhira that she had no one, no place to call her home. What surprised Vidya now, is that how come none of them ever felt it in their conscience, the cruelty of rubbing salt on the wounds of an orphan, of killing someone everyday by reminding her that her being alive didn't matter anyways, because who would miss her when she had no one? Despite everything, any human would have had the heart to sympathise with a young girl who had lost everything but they didn't... perhaps they truly were monsters, they had long burnt their humanity and now this cruelty that they had made a norm would burn them...Vidya knew.
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Author's note: This one is a relatively shorter chapter. I had planned to add more but that would have made it too long. I don't have any direction for this story, I am just letting it go with the flow. You all can drop in any suggestions and feedback that you all may have.
Edited by Nocturnal7 - 6 months ago
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