Author's note: This was supposed to be an OS but has now turned into a SS.
Feel free to leave feedbacks and any other idea suggestions you all might have.
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PART 1
"I love you completely and you love me the same, the rest is confetti."
In the quiet of the night, a solitary figure lies ensconced in a cocoon of blankets, her restless form tossing and turning like a ship caught in a tempest. Beads of perspiration dot her fevered skin, a testament to the turmoil raging within. Clutched tightly against her chest, the weathered pages of her mother's diary whisper secrets of a bygone era, its presence a bittersweet reminder of a bond now severed by the cruel hands of fate. As she drifts between the realms of dreams and reality, a soft humming slightly calms her raging nerves.
A voice she would recognise anywhere, a voice she longs to hear again, the voice that has soothed her through nightmares and patted her back from her daydreams.
"O Kanha ab toh murali ki,
Madhur suna do taan"
Her eyes softly opened to the song that has been a lingering gaurdian watching over her. With a tumult of emotions weighing her heart, and tears finding their way down her cheeks, she looks around to find the source of the voice.
"Main hoon Teri Prem deewani,
Mujhko tu pehchaan,
Madhur suna do taan"
And there it was, the surreal form of her mother under the dim moonlight. Abhira's hand reached out to her mother, in an attempt to feel her warmth again, "Mumma...", she sobbed, "Mumma..."
"Arey ro kyun Rahi hai beta, come here," Akshara softly pulled her daughter in her embrace. And Abhira let her tears fall freely, consumed by the weight of her longing and her loneliness in a world that satiates it's hunger by feeding over the spirits of orphaned, innocent hearts.
Abhira's sobs echoed in the entire room, her grief looming in the atmosphere like smoke after the relentless fire had burnt down a home.
"I didn't know my choti sherni was such a cry baby", Abhinav's playful voice made Abhira look at him aghast. Her big innocent eyes widening a little.
Abhinav softly flicked her nose and chuckled at her expression. "Apne papa ko dekhkar itni hairaan hogayi, won't you say something to me Abhira?"
And Abhira's hand reached out to settle on his cheek. "Papa...aap...you...", she struggled with her words.
And Abhinav took his daughter in an embrace, the look of heartbreak gnawing at his heart.
"Why? Why Papa...Why did you and Mamma leave me? Mera koyi nahi hai yahaan? Why couldn't you just take me with you Papa, we could have been a happy family? I don't like it here Papa, I...I don't. It's so suffocating...the hatred...the blames....I am losing myself...mujhse ab nahi ho raha."
Abhinav let his little girl cry. His heart bled at the thought of all those moments his daughter must have called out for her parents in moments of despair only for her yearnings to be the unanswered prayers. Fate had played cruel games with him, an orphan longing for a home all his life, praying, begging to God for one chance at happiness in life, only for it to be snatched away from him, leaving his daughter to have a similar fate, if not worse.
Abhinav slowly pulled away. She had her mother's eyes, dark like an abyss of unending sorrow yet so innocent and so kind. He shared a look of understanding with Akshara and with all the tenderness in his heart rubbed Abhira's tears, unaware of the trail falling down his own cheeks.
"I am sorry...I am so sorry. Of all the things you could have gotten from me, you got a part of my cursed fate", Abhinav spoke between his attempts to subdue the anguish overwhelming his heart.
"I am sorry you had to grow up without me. But listen to me...with whatever little your father had, there's nothing he wouldn't have wanted to give you. I wasn't an accomplished man Abhira, but I would have given you everything. I am sorry...I couldn't. But trust me, meri choti sherni, there hasn't been a single moment my spirit has left your side, not a single minute. You...were the light of your mother's life and I am so proud you. Words...would fail me if I begin to list the countless moments I have teared up with pride looking at your resilience and your kindness. There isn't a single star in the sky that your father hasn't wished upon, for you."
In that moment the ache that has made it's abode in Abhira's heart, knew no bounds. After days of suppressing the sorrow that has threatened to drown her, she allowed herself to surrender. Her trauma, her loss burning her eyes, trapping her syllables in her throat.
Akshara shifted closer to her daughter and rested her hand on her head. "You are exactly your father's shadow Abhira, you are an embodiment of his kindness, his innocence and his unmatched selflessness. But you...are not your mother's silence. You are a piece of your grandmother Naira's bravery as well, you are your grandfather's goofiness. You my little girl...are made of mosaics of people who would have loved you beyond the bounds of life and time itself. You are pieces of all of us, of all the people who are always looking at you, praying for you. You... were god's biggest blessing for me." Akshara spoke, her own voice heavy with emotions.
"Why did you leave me with Armaan, Mumma. He...he hates me, his family hates me. It hurts...it hurts so much, it's a house full of people, yet none to call my own. Apki yeh chidhiya Kahan jaaye mumma, mera ghar toh aap thi na? Where do I go?"
"I am sorry...I caused you so much pain. I have faced this world's cruelty beta, I wanted to protect you. I couldn't leave you alone...but I certainly made the wrong choice, I am sorry," Akshara spoke testing her forehead on Abhira's.
"But listen to me...you won't repeat your parents' mistakes Abhira. You won't pay for mistakes that others made. You won't waste your kindness on people who don't deserve it. You won't make the sacrifices that I made, do you understand?" Akshara spoke resiliently
"What do I do Mumma, this guilt, where do I keep it. Everybody keeps blaming me for the cracks in Vidya ma and Madhav Papa's relationship. And Madhav papa cares for me, I owe him mumma".
"No you don't", Abhinav spoke with an urgency and agitation he hasn't known before.
"Relationships can be complex...and delicate. But the thread that holds the relationship, is always with the two people who are in that relationship beta. This guilt...is not yours to carry. This is not your duty to fulfill." He softly rested his hand on her cheek and continued,"Their marriage is a spiral of complexities that run deeper and beyond your capacity Abhira. Their marriage...was built upon a baggage that you have nothing to do with. People, families, even mothers and fathers sometimes, can be the monsters in your closet Abhira, and irrespective of the relationship you share with them, some times you have to walk away for your own sake. Your mumma did...and that is how we met. This...is a dysfunctional family, and you my choti sherni do not deserve to be caught up in a cage with their volatile tendencies."
"What do I do then Papa? Should I...sign the divorce papers and walk away?"
"I know your love for Armaan, I know a part of you hopes that he would turn back, look at you and realise the damage he has caused you", Akshara spoke empathetically, knowing well enough, how hope some times works like a slow poison, shredding one cell in your body at a time. "Love...is a beautiful feeling Abhira. It might not feel so right now. But some times, we put our hopes in wrong people. They might not necessarily be inherently bad but some stories aren't meant to be and some pave their own way. And when this love begins to hurt you, suffocate you...you have to walk away. You cannot continue to fight for your love all alone, and if you have to, then it's not the kind of life you deserve. You have so much light in your Abhira, your future holds so much warmth and love for you. You are extraordinary, you are our miracle and you are meant to do great things Abhira, don't give up."
Abhinav and Akshara embraced Abhira in a warm hug, while her tears continued to fall... relentless and unyielding.
"Love...feels like a warm hug. Love feels like a sense of calm in the chaos that threatens to consume you. Love...is the little life left in you even when the world seems to have come to an end. Love...is what makes you want to live when every atom in your body, screams to fall into inactivity. Love...is the comforting shadow in the scorching heat of the sun. Love...Abira, for me and your Mumma is your laughter. Love...for us is the happiness in your eyes that heals all our wounds. Love...my choti sherni you are an embodiment of all the love I have ever felt in my life", Abhinav whispered, as they softly rocked Abhira back to a peaceful slumber.
"Love...a little home, Mumma, Papa aur Abhira."
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It had become a habit for Manisha, to check up on Abhira once before she goes to sleep. She couldn't deny the surge of protectiveness and the tender feeling of love that she felt towards her. It was agonising, to watch her being subjected to this family's relentless emotional abuse. At the end of the day, she was just a young orphaned girl with no one to call her own.
On most nights Manisha knew Abhira would just pretend to be asleep but her persisting eye bags made her insomnia evident and it worries Manisha. A part of her wanted to prevent the divorce from happening because somewhere she knew Armaan's happiness was with Abhira and he was a victim of this family's manipulations but a significant part of her questioned if it was worth it. If it was actually fair to expect Abhira to be hopeful, to be resilient when Armaan refused to stand up for their relationship, when Vidya and Kaveri spited the very sight of her, however unjustly but they would make it a point to make it clear to Abhira that she didn't belong, that she wasn't their own, she never would be. Manisha was worried about what all this would do to Abhira's psyche and mental health, how this would taint her idea of a family and marriage.
She was pulled out of her train of thoughts, by Abhira's soft whimpers who had fallen asleep on the cold floor. Manisha softly try to wake Abhira up, who got up with a jerk, looking around, "Mumma....Papa...."
Manisha settled beside Abhira on the floor, "Shh... it's me Abhira ...your chahisa."
Abhira looked at her, struggling to breathe, a new tide of sobs wracked her body, "Chachisa ...Mumma....Papa", she spoke between her sobs pointing at the window.
And Manisha understood the cause of her disoriented state and gently wrapped her in a hug, "It's okay, it's okay...I am here, you are okay....just breathe", she whispered softly.
Perhaps her fears were proving true. Abhira would be better off anywhere else in the world than this cage of heartless skeletons. They had put too much pressure on a young girl, and any more of this would only destroy her further. Manisha sat there on the cold floor, holding Abhira, her own eyes burning with the agony she felt for the broken young girl. She cannot do this anymore, she cannot allow this family to kill her spirit. She has to talk to Madhav and ask him to drop his stubborn condition, because this was doing no good to anybody.
Irrespective of what the next day holds, she would make sure Abhira has someone, at least Madhav, Manoj, Krish and her, just not within the confines of this golden Poddars cage.
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Vidya had made it a point to avoid taking any glance at Armaan's room ever since Abhira had settled there but the sound of gut wrenching sobs that echoed in the corridor made her stop in the tracks, breaking her resolve a little.
And she peeked inside Armaan's room, and despite her own cruelty, the sight broke something in her. Abhira was too disoriented to note her presence.
"Not today...please...not now", Manisha whispered, her tone resolute in a way Vidya has never heard before.
"I...is she okay, Manisha?", Vidya asked hesitantly.
And Manisha looked at her with disbelief painted all over her face. As if her question didn't have an obvious answer. As if she wasn't the cause of this wreckage infront of her. As if she did not time and again taunt Abhira and hit her right where it would hurt the most. As if she hadn't erased any of her motherly instincts by her own hands without letting the girls speak, the same girl who had put her life on the line to protect her. As if she hadn't been the one pushing Armaan to divorce the young girl and throw her out, knowing well enough she has absolutely no one to go to.
After a few minutes when Manisha walked out with an empty jug of water, her eyes held a determination that shook Vidya.
"You broke the girl...all of you... congratulations. I hope now you all can sleep peacefully."
"You know my anger is justified Manisha...they betrayed us...she lied to me."
Manisha bitterly chuckled in response, "Lies...deciet....betrayal isn't that the very foundation of this house, and the familial ties. It's funny how, you claim to have high regards for morals and honesty, yet, it didn't occur to you to atleast give her a chance to speak or try to understand what it would have been like for her to lose her only parent, her only family. You claim to be a great mother, don't you? How come you couldn't understand the plight of a dying mother, who was leaving behind a young daughter in a world full of wolves, with no one to look after her. It pains me, how her mother's soul would hurt knowing she has herself pushed her daughter among vultures who keep fending on her daughter's broken, bleeding heart. We are all terrible people. Maybe it's time to look at yourself in the mirror, and realise your own monstrosity."
"I just need a couple of days to discuss everything with Bhai sa and arrange everything, I promise you Abhira will be gone from your life forever, but dare you say another harsh word to her. I will take her responsibility and this time when she walks out, she will walk out respectfully and she won't be empty handed, she has me and she will have Bhai sa and you, or anybody won't spoil anything further."
With that Manisha walked away, leaving Vidya with a reality check that felt like a stab straight to the heart, causing her to thwarted with a guilt that she very well deserved.
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