Abhira Using Reverse Psychology|| DT WARNING P.15|| - Page 5

No wonder makers are giving her more screen space as she is discussed everywhere and helping them to gain negative publicity Maker's found trump card in ruhi as she is highly discussed and debatable topic in gen 4. Armaan ko bhi peeche chod diya usne.

@Noor will not talk about Ruhi after this as I don't want to derail the topic🤐🤐🤐

Song for Ruhi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNSkhTmLO7s

You asked me when did housewives become freeloaders. Vidya, Manisha are not freeloaders because they at least have a long relationship with their husbands. And they do more than what Ruhi is capable of. Besides, Ruhi had no relations with her husband so why are you pointing out her rights when you keep denying Ab's legal rights as a wife just because she made a verbal 'agreement' with Ar when there's no legal presence to witness that agreement. I have written in the legal point of view in my previous posts already.

I have to ask you from your post in which world is having self respect and paying back money is 'emotional manipulation.' You too have an incorrect perception of not seeing that Ab does not want to live a freeloader lifestyle, something which she can observe from Ruhi without exerting much focus unlike Ruhi whose has a hawk eye focus on a legally married couple and interfering in such a couple's life.

Originally posted by: Manny_123

Why is Ruh dragged in here when the TM is talking about Abhira ?? I know people love Ruhi very much but sadly topic is not about her.

Also this is for informational purpose. Environmental psychology is irrelavant to this dicussion. It cannot be taken to discuss mental and behavioural aspect of humans. It is mainly concerned with human's behaviour and envrionment as in physical environment applied in city planning, architecture, environmental sustainablity etc.

that’s because the only way abheera can be praised is by belittling Ruhi… there is no other way as there isn’t anything particularly praiseworthy about her… so bashing Ruhi automatically makes abheera decent…

This thread started with abheera’s behaviour but somehow turned into Ruhi’s… people love ru so much that they can’t live a day without talking about her… and I am so happy seeing this☺️

@Noor In your first reply to me you said this topic is not about the legal wife status, and I was like I was giving you an explanation of why Ab wanting to payback is NOT emotional manipulation as you incorrectly depicted in your post.

And in my second post, I 'related' a psychology section according to your headline, since you wanted to discuss about the human behaviour (at least that's how I interpreted your first line). And from my POV, Ab does not want to imbibe Ruhi's freeloading characteristics.

And environmental psychology is a vast topic but its mainly about surroundings and one of the factors include social behaviour. #FYI

@Queeninfluencer, I don't want to argue with you. I respect that you have a very different view on the topic and you are free to ignore this thread.

IMO it doesn't matter how long someone was married, how their relationship was, did they consummate their marriage, did they celebrate their 25th anniversary or their partner died the next day of marriage... It's all the same hence Ruhi, Manisha, and Vidya gets the same respect and stature in the family.

Also it doesn't matter if the agreement was made verbally or on paper, if there was an eye witness or not. FACT IS Abhira made a deal out of the marriage and since then both Armaan and Abhira are playing their roles in the deal.

You might have heard about the term "open marriage".. Some husband and wife opt for it... They don't make an legal agreement and sign in front of judge.. It's just a verbal agreement that both the partners can have relation with other people... Here also both Armaan and Abhira consciously agreed to the deal.

Her mother actually got her legally married na.. So abhira had a choice to be Ar's legal wife for life but she choose to make a deal out of it as she is her mother's daughter at the end of the day.. She can only know using people according to the need.. Tomorrow she can become a hypocrite and go back on her words and fall for deal husband and her fans will still hail her. So why should I bother about her rights when she herself made a joke of her marriage....

Thanks for offering to ignore your topic, but I have much to say about your misconceptions of Ab's character. This is a forum, I can discuss/criticize as much as I like, and if I see anything which is not fitting the narrative of the show, I am gonna input my opinion

Anyways, I am curious how exactly does Ruhi gets the same stature as Vidya and Manisha when she married RoPod to stay close to his brother while you say Ab has made a joke out of marriage because of the so-called deal. Why shouldn't Ab get the same stature as a legal wife? Why should Ruhi's freeloading get excused when her husband is dead but Ab's so called 'freeloading' (which she has intent to pay back) gets called emotional manipulation and apparently reverse psychology? And by the by, the word freeloader has been used in this same very thread for Ab so I am just giving a definition of what actual freeloading is but pointing out Ruhi as an example.

I am seriously confunded why you would even mention "open marriage". This ain't about your topic.. And even that doesn't hold in the court of law. Contract marriage needs legal involvement.

Abhira has never made a joke of her marriage. she proposed the "deal" because she knew that both of them were forced to marry by a dying woman who was desperate to see her daughter be safe with a person she trusted. she called MG from her death bed but he cut her call so she entrusted her daughter to her student. But Abhira didnt fully approve of this because she knew thats not how a shaadi should happen. She understood her mom's concern for her safety and doesnt want to disregard her dying wish but she also knows that she cant be forcibly tied to a man like this. But Abhira has clearly stated that she would like her status as WIFE to be respected by both Armaan and Ruhi for as long as it lasts- whether that is few minutes or 1 year or more. She told ruhi that just like even a temporary PM gets all the respect of a real one because of the sanctity of that position- its the same for a spouse-whether husband or wife. And she has told Armaan that whatever issues or complaints he has with her- he would prefer that he discusses it with her directly or keeps it to himself because she doesnt intend to impose on him forever anyway. Similarly she addresses all her complaints or issues with him or not at all. she doesnt go speak to others about her equation with Armaan. 2 people who share space over time can get bound emotionally. so if she starts to feel for Armaan- thats not going back on her words because she never made any promise to never get attracted to him. She only promised that she would walk away once she is independent so that he isnt forcibly tied to her for the rest of his life. She even asked him what if either of them were to fall in love- how they'd navigate that but that conversation got derailed a bit. when she asked him if he would go back to his chitwaali after a year- he ruled it out saying its a closed chapter. She is still giving herself a reality check every now and then and not acting on her evolving feelings though she has caught herself dreaming and getting attracted to him- infact she herself hasnt come to terms with her changing feelings and she will definitely not force him to reciprocate her feelings if she does realize she loves him but he does not. the only reason she is even having these new found feelings is because she has seen Armaan do a lot of special gestures for her which are way beyond scope of just a guardian or caretaker, sees his family also keep speaking about his "pyaar" for her and has heard him tell her that his past is OVER. so she is not having feelings for a random guy who is someone else's husband or bf. She is feeling for her own husband who has told her he has closed the chapter of his past everytime she has discussed it with him.

She wants to pay him back because she doesnt like to feel like a bojh and she wants it on paper because that will act as a constant reminder to her. Often times when things are put on paper its more formalized and concrete than when its just said out loud. She knows that he doesnt need this money back- its not a big deal for him given that he comes from a really rich family and he's too nice to ask her to payback but to her this money spent on her is a big deal. she cant pay back the emotions, the support she has received but if she can atleast payback some of the money that will help her sleep better at night. It will take some of the weight off her chest. She is doing it for her own peace of mind and not for Armaan and she has told Armaan this too. She is not wanting to pay him back because she wants him to feel guilty, rather she wants him to NOT feel guilty or obligated to go out of the way for her just because her mom took a bullet for him. if she really wanted to guilt him to get her way, she can easily do that by constantly reminding him how her mother died because of him and how he ruined her life by trying to be a hero or saviour. but she doesnt do that because she knows what happened was not Armaans fault but actually because of Yuvraj and then her mothers decision to jump in front of Armaan. Armaan also noticed that Abhira does not blame him for what happened even though he holds himself accountable. she has already acknowledged to Armaan himself that even if she pays back every penny with interest, she will still not be able to actually pay back what Armaan has given her- support, strength, confidence, warmth at a time when she had no one else. She acknowledges how hard it is for him to go against family sometimes to support her. She values his gestures but she doesnt like the feeling that he is doing it all out of obligation because her mother died. She doesnt like to be pitied or hear herself be called a freeloader or ungrateful or a misfit or an aafat and thats why she keeps on bringing up money matters and also tries to help his family members sometimes by going out of the way - because those are the only 2 things that she can control to help ease her guilt for crash landing into his and his family's life.

Originally posted by: Firefly_shines

@Queeninfluencer, I don't want to argue with you. I respect that you have a very different view on the topic and you are free to ignore this thread.

IMO it doesn't matter how long someone was married, how their relationship was, did they consummate their marriage, did they celebrate their 25th anniversary or their partner died the next day of marriage... It's all the same hence Ruhi, Manisha, and Vidya gets the same respect and stature in the family.

Also it doesn't matter if the agreement was made verbally or on paper, if there was an eye witness or not. FACT IS Abhira made a deal out of the marriage and since then both Armaan and Abhira are playing their roles in the deal.

You might have heard about the term "open marriage".. Some husband and wife opt for it... They don't make an legal agreement and sign in front of judge.. It's just a verbal agreement that both the partners can have relation with other people... Here also both Armaan and Abhira consciously agreed to the deal.

Her mother actually got her legally married na.. So abhira had a choice to be Ar's legal wife for life but she choose to make a deal out of it as she is her mother's daughter at the end of the day.. She can only know using people according to the need.. Tomorrow she can become a hypocrite and go back on her words and fall for deal husband and her fans will still hail her. So why should I bother about her rights when she herself made a joke of her marriage....

Very well said that her mother got her legally married so abhira had a choice to be Ar’s legal wife for life but she choose to make DEAL out of it.

Right now vidya , Manisha , dadi nobody knows that abhira has opted deal marriage so they are doing all their actions/gestures thinking it as any regular marriage which they all did. Agar vidya / Manisha ko day 1 se pata hota ki abhira has choose make deal out of wedding, woh sab abhira ko sirf ek saal ki ghar ayi mehmaan ke nazarye se dekhte. Ek normal shaddi kar ke ayi hui ladki and saal bhar ki shaddi ki deal kar ke ayi hui ladki inn dono ko dekhna ka nazariya kisi bhi household mai alag he hoga naturally. Isiliye abhira ka stature bahot alag hai baki ki ghar ki married women se.

Jo vidya and Manisha abhira ko itna lagaav se dekhti hai socho agar inko pata hota ki yeh toh sirf saal bhar ki deal wali bahu hai toh yeh log kuch bhi feel karne se pehle yeh sochte ki yeh toh saal baad chali jayegi kaha lifelong bahu bann kar rehne wali hai.

Abhira ne bhi acha daav khela ki maa ki karayi hui legal marriage ko deal mai convert bhi kar diya and guilt ridden husband ko bhi bol diya ki bhai tumhari family ko pata nahi chalna chahiye ki Maine iss legal shaddi ko verbally/ mentally/emotionally deal mai convert kar diya hai !!!

it is not Abhira but Armaan who told her to hide the deal terms from family.

She is guilty about hiding the deal truth from his family which she expressed multiple times including when she was drunk on holi

She wants to get that off her chest. It is Armaan who has forbidden her from talking about it.

When she got kangan from Vidya she was upset and immediately told Armaan because she doesnt like misleading family.

She proposed the deal terms because she knows that taking a dying promise to forcibly marry is not fair. She did it for both their sakes so that Armaan also can draw comfort in the fact that he is not bound to her forever against his will. she saw how troubling it must be for him to marry someone who isnt his choice.

Spinning this deal into something that Abhira did out of spite or out of cunningness is highly inappropriate interpretation because it was definitely not like that.

Abhira brought up deal as a lifeboat for Armaan and herself and Armaan grasped it with both hands. if it was all on Abhira and she is to blame for deal, then Armaan wouldnt be harping on "deal shaadi" himself. he can maintain that he will honor his dying word which is to LIFELONG nibaho his commitment to Abhira. He should not have told Ruhi also about the deal because deal toh sirf abhira ka kiya hua "drama" hai na. but fact is at the time, he also saw the deal as a nice compromise. something that eases his guilt. he can support his guru's daughter until she is independent and then let her go away - that way he will feel like he paid back the karz of someone taking a bullet for him and he wont forever be tied to anyone either. mutual win win

abhira has fulfilled a bahu's responsibility way better than Ruhi ever could. she has stood up for the family, protected them, and does all the cooking vaghera stuff that others do as well. She has taken a stand for right things and not to simply create tamasha and more people are recognizing that everyday. thats why she is the go-to person for all the cousins when they are in actual trouble. people are acknowledging that she is challenhing the status quo and making things better instead of mindlessly following tradition. on the other hand she is rooted to her values and she was the one to remind everyone about Saraswati puja instead of doing Valentine party. And infact she convinced Kaveri to not force people to attend a puja because devotion cant be forced. aise sabko saath lekar Abhira chalti hai. not the bahu who is misleading whole family about something as crass as having romantic feelings for one brother while being married to another. Deal shaadi is still a real shaadi and not fake shaadi. but to marry one brother to be near another is cringe and all the laad, pyaar, dulaar she is getting for being Rohits wife would never happen if she lets them know how she really feels. So thats a WAY BIGGER lie to tell than what Abhira is doing

And Abhira is guilty about that lie but Ruhi is not even guilty about playing with everyones feelings but fantasizing about another man - that too brother of her husband who is now legally married to another woman himself.

Originally posted by: sweet_tania

Very well said that her mother got her legally married so abhira had a choice to be Ar’s legal wife for life but she choose to make DEAL out of it.

Right now vidya , Manisha , dadi nobody knows that abhira has opted deal marriage so they are doing all their actions/gestures thinking it as any regular marriage which they all did. Agar vidya / Manisha ko day 1 se pata hota ki abhira has choose make deal out of wedding, woh sab abhira ko sirf ek saal ki ghar ayi mehmaan ke nazarye se dekhte. Ek normal shaddi kar ke ayi hui ladki and saal bhar ki shaddi ki deal kar ke ayi hui ladki inn dono ko dekhna ka nazariya kisi bhi household mai alag he hoga naturally. Isiliye abhira ka stature bahot alag hai baki ki ghar ki married women se.

Jo vidya and Manisha abhira ko itna lagaav se dekhti hai socho agar inko pata hota ki yeh toh sirf saal bhar ki deal wali bahu hai toh yeh log kuch bhi feel karne se pehle yeh sochte ki yeh toh saal baad chali jayegi kaha lifelong bahu bann kar rehne wali hai.

Abhira ne bhi acha daav khela ki maa ki karayi hui legal marriage ko deal mai convert bhi kar diya and guilt ridden husband ko bhi bol diya ki bhai tumhari family ko pata nahi chalna chahiye ki Maine iss legal shaddi ko verbally/ mentally/emotionally deal mai convert kar diya hai !!!

To be brutally honest I personally don’t find anything interesting in the ab’s character… I have seen far better and beautifully written characters in the past… look I am not a hater. Yes I had lot of issues with how the past gen was executed but had abhira been an actually well written character, I would have happily appreciated it… the easiest way I can prove this is go to any thread which mentions ab’s mistakes and flaws, you will see posts mentioning Ruhi’s mistakes more than defending ab….

Two wrongs don’t make a right… pointing Ruhi’s mistakes won’t reduce or nullify abhira’s… this is the biggest proof that their isn’t anything particularly interesting or exciting about the character… and is no where close to a brilliantly written character.. the fact that they had to butcher Ruhi to make her look decent… had Ruhi been even 20% of how she was as kid there was no way that people would have loved ab more than her…

edited for mocking