akdha ss/ff - the desert's rose - Page 7

Mide, I think this chapter might be my favourite!!
First, we have the payal scene flashback-- you know I've been waiting for that scene and you pulled through with how well it was written.
The changes you've made are so brilliant they've made the entire scene better for it-
The scene in which Jalal did not immediately see his own reflection in the water and cared more about what Jodha was looking at in the water before later realising that it was him! Chefs KISS! 🤌

The scene in which Ruqaiya manipulates Jalal...omg, this scene had my eyes widening.
How masterfully she did it!😳
The scene in which Jalal comes and breathes in her scent is so lovely. Still, the fact that she uses his vulnerability, his intoxicated state to 'milk' the situation rather than return the affection he was giving (or simply accepting the affection) shows so much about Ruqaiya.
Had she been able to hide her insecurities, she would have come off as a much stronger character...like Maham, who has no obvious visible weakness but perhaps it is because she has a visible weakness that Ruqaiya is sometimes seen as redeemable.

The scene between Jalal and Jodha- we often forget that he was a massive a-hole...but I know that it needs to get worse before it gets better.

Thank You for the shoutout dear!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Originally posted by: lkdaswani

Mide, I think this chapter might be my favourite!!
First, we have the payal scene flashback-- you know I've been waiting for that scene and you pulled through with how well it was written.
The changes you've made are so brilliant they've made the entire scene better for it-
The scene in which Jalal did not immediately see his own reflection in the water and cared more about what Jodha was looking at in the water before later realising that it was him! Chefs KISS! 🤌

I have always wanted to write the payal scene which I did initially in "the wedding (part two)" but it did not fit in the way I wanted it to, so I scrapped it before rewriting it for this chapter. I am so glad to know I did not disappoint and that you actually love this chapter. thank you so much 🥰🙏🏾

The scene in which Ruqaiya manipulates Jalal...omg, this scene had my eyes widening.
How masterfully she did it!😳
The scene in which Jalal comes and breathes in her scent is so lovely. Still, the fact that she uses his vulnerability, his intoxicated state to 'milk' the situation rather than return the affection he was giving (or simply accepting the affection) shows so much about Ruqaiya.

that scene is me trying to push boundaries when it comes to writing intimate scenes. the serial shows either little or straight up plays it safe in matters of that, I do not plan on doing that. and absolutely! Ruqs erroneously thought manipulating Jalal's vulnerable state would push him away from Jodha (or maybe the other way around) but little does she know that she only managed to further shove Jodha into his radar and like @AnInditaB (the restrictions won't let me tag them 🥲) said, Jodha just challenged him. even with his actions later on in this chapter, Jalal is not going to back down from a challenge, especially not this one.

Had she been able to hide her insecurities, she would have come off as a much stronger character...like Maham, who has no obvious visible weakness but perhaps it is because she has a visible weakness that Ruqaiya is sometimes seen as redeemable.

I do plan to give Ruqs a redemption arc of her own and earlier than in the serial. I do not want her to go the vamp pathway. I actually want her to make genuine peace with Jodha. I will cross that bridge when I get there eventually (probably during Jodha's pregnancy with the twins).

The scene between Jalal and Jodha- we often forget that he was a massive a-hole...but I know that it needs to get worse before it gets better.

oh absolutely. it was also hilarious to me how Jalal was so mad that Jodha did not want him especially when he knows she wants him dead. what did he expect? hugs and kisses? 😭😂

Jalal, when he finds out the woman who hates him does not want him: 😱😡😡

all jokes aside though, you are absolutely right, it does need to get worse before it gets better. the light comes at the end of the tunnel; the dark comes before the dawn.

Thank You for the shoutout dear!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

you are absolutely welcome. I want to thank you again for the inspiration for this chapter. it gave me an idea of where to start

hello! I have been looking forward to your comment and I was so excited to read it. my words are in bold.

I am just glad that Fitoori helped you in any little way, dear. Hopefully, I too will come up with an update soon!

Yeah! No woman has probably ever tried the 'playing hard to get' funda on Jalal so when he is faced with a woman who isn't even playing, his bafflement is understandable and undeniable.
Any woman he's even looked at has prostrated herself for him (or they have been made to) and now there is Jodha, with all her Rajputani pride and fire.

It's definitely gonna get worse before it gets better.

Looking forward to your next update!!! ❤️

Originally posted by: lkdaswani

I am just glad that Fitoori helped you in any little way, dear. Hopefully, I too will come up with an update soon!

no problem, I patiently await the update 🥰

Yeah! No woman has probably ever tried the 'playing hard to get' funda on Jalal so when he is faced with a woman who isn't even playing, his bafflement is understandable and undeniable.
Any woman he's even looked at has prostrated herself for him (or they have been made to) and now there is Jodha, with all her Rajputani pride and fire.

it is going to take a while before he can get used to Jodha's fire (and thorns). he thinks his conquest stopped the moment he brought Jodha into Agra but little does he know that to get the rose, he has to deal with its sharp thorns. he'll come around 🤭😂

It's definitely gonna get worse before it gets better.

Looking forward to your next update!!! ❤️

I do hope to update by Friday although it is more of a filler chapter.

my words are in bold 😄

finding beauty in negative spaces (🏜️🌹)

That night at her hojra left her with more than a bleeding wrist and a bruise of his handprint around her throat, it also left her with the knowledge that she had married the devil himself.

She sat numbly as Moti and Reva silently cleaned and applied ointment to her wrists, not even a wince escaped her despite the sting. What was the point of reacting to the physical pain when the impact his words had dealt was heavier?

"The only reason why you are here is because you are nothing more than a wild exotic bird and once I finally clip those wings, Jodha Begum, you'll be as useless as a broken bird."

His motive for bringing her to Agra was not to form an alliance with Amer but because he saw her as nothing more than a wild animal to be tamed. She did not care if he reciprocated her hatred of him but the knowledge of his true motives stung.

She had tried to avoid him but the gods seemed to be highly invested in making jokes at her expense. Fate was against her as the next day, Maan Singh was summoned to the Diwan-e-Khaas for breaking one of the rules of the harem - visiting his Bua Sa without seeking permission from Jalal.

"The harem is under the protection of none other than the emperor, bete," Ammi Jaan had explained to her. "No man is allowed in, not even to protect the harem. To breach the harem is to invite death."

Her breath had caught in her throat as soon as Maan Singh walked into the court with two durbaans accompanying him. Never had she been more prayerful than that moment as soon as he was interrogated by none other than the devil who glanced at her.

The intensity of his stare was enough to send shivers down her spine even with the pardah separating them. His threat against her family and the people of Amer still lay around fresh in her memories.

Was he so ruthless that he would harm a teenage boy whose only sin was to look out for his Bua? But he had also threatened to raze Amer to the ground and that included its children.

At the end of that day, the jallad was impressed by Maan Singh's bravery and his punishment for the young boy was that he would be placed under his guidance. Knowing him, his plot was probably to make the boy a ruthless carbon copy of himself.

Aside from that and the other unfortunate times when she had to see his face during court sessions, she successfully avoided him.

Now, it has been a month since that event and while her legs were yet to take her beyond the gates of the fort in Agra, she spent the weeks moving wherever her legs took her.

First, they had led her to the Angoori Bagh where she had planted the tulsi plant for her puja. Ammi Jaan had happened to stumble across her, the older woman impressed at the care given to the sacred plant. In addition to her tulsi puja, the Angoori Bagh provided the peace she had least expected in Agra.

Then, her legs wandered around the harem as she took it upon herself to learn every pathway that connected. That brought with it nostalgic memories of when she would map out secret rooms and passages in Amer - some of such adventures almost causing mini heart attacks to Bhapu Sa and Maa Sa who would then conduct search parties to retrieve her.

Old habits died hard for the Rajput queen and they had also led to interesting encounters with the other begums. Initially, she became a gossip hotspot for being the Begum who defied Shehenshah while in his home.

It seemed to draw in other begums whose curiosity got the better of them. Who would not want to know more about the queen who had the temerity to do what she did?

And just within a month, Jodha's little ventures and encounters got her a bit more familiar with some of the women in the harem.

Like her, most of them were ladies of royal or noble upbringing all married to Jalaluddin Mohammad to secure peace between the Mughal Empire and their kingdoms of origin. However, some of the events which took place within the harem were enough to make her shudder just from remembering them.

The chaotic nature of the harem came as a sort of jarring change in environment to her. If the women were not busy pining after Jalal's attention, they were instigating cat fights and gossiping amongst themselves.

The frequency of fights within this place had her wince, surely, there was something better they could do than resort to these petty fights, right?

Now, it was not all the women in the harem who did that, most of them had their strengths and talents.

For one, there were some like Salima Begum, her initial encounter with her ended with the queens making acquaintances. Never had she seen any contemporary as wise as Salima Begum, especially.

Older than her by five years, Salima Begum had a demure posture, mostly kept to herself unless it was necessary for her to interfere and was more of a poetic soul with an appreciation for literature - both local and foreign.

Salima Begum rarely engaged in the antics of the harem, her days were mostly spent in the Angoori Bagh or her chambers with Jodha as she would make compilations of poems she had either written or retrieved from the Royal Library.

Then, there were some like Nameez Begum and Ruksaar Begum, the queen who had tried to offer her paan the first time they met. On the surface, both women seemed catty towards the other begums but every surface always hid unknown depths. Nameez Begum, for one, had a hidden collection of artwork she created under a pseudonym - all of them safely preserved.

"You could share this with the outside world, why hide behind a different name?" Jodha had pondered the day Nameez Begum displayed her collection.

Shrugging, Nameez concealed them with a navy blue cloth before sealing the closet shut.

"It stemmed from a creative choice of mine, Jodha Begum," she shared her reasoning. "I am not one for the attention, so why not share my talent with the world under a pseudonym?"

Ruksaar, on the other hand, held a box of jewelry which she had created herself, all made from different materials. She seemed satisfied, an eyebrow raised as she glanced at Jodha.

And with the intricacies of each piece of jewelry, Ruksaar had every right to be impressed by the works of her hands.

The two women were like peas in a pod, a common interest shared in arts and crafts. It made a lot of sense why they were always seen accompanying each other.

Then, there were women like Pinaaz Begum. Just the thought of her had Jodha struggling to come up with a nice descriptor for her.

At least, there was the Begum's allure which had it going for her. Never had Jodha seen anyone as invested in sweet-smelling perfumes, expensive makeup, jewelry and clothes as Pinaaz was.

Remember what Jodha had said about every surface having hidden depths? This surface hid no depth of her own as Pinaaz Begum was one of the most beautiful within Jalal's harem but that was it.

It could not get more pitiful than that - a person who solely depended on their beauty and nothing more. It could also explain Pinaaz's cold behaviour towards the other women in the harem, her haughtiness and her need to instigate a great percentage of the squabbles which took place within the harem.

That and how desperately greedy she was for the jallad's attention had Jodha wincing from secondhand embarrassment.

The Shehenshah may be of a strong build - one knowledge she was unfortunate to stumble across while performing tulsi puja in the Angoori Bagh - and good-looking, but was his aloofness not enough to deter Pinaaz? Or a great percentage of the other begums?

The last but not the least of the women within the harem was Ruqaiya Sultan Begum, the Malika-e-Khaas and the chief consort of Jalal. The woman came across as shrewd and a force to be reckoned with as she oversaw all that went on within the harem.

As difficult as it was to admit it, Jodha could see Ruqaiya overseeing the trade sector of the Mughal Empire if she put her mind to it.

One would believe that such a woman had it all, yet, it was not enough for Ruqaiya. Not the fact that Jalal considered her worthy of his time, not the fact that he viewed her as important enough to oversee the harem while he busied himself with matters of the Empire.

None of that was enough to satisfy her need for power as she actively sought out ways to gain more.

At this point, Jodha had no idea whom to pity more: Pinaaz or Ruqaiya. At least, Ruqaiya still had something going on for her. Unlike Pinaaz who cared about keeping up her appearance with the hope that she'd get a sliver of Shehenshah's attention, Ruqaiya was more invested in the political climate of the sultanate.

And that left Jodha who found herself pondering her position in the harem given that a month had merely passed since she started residing in Agra.

She dreaded the thought of being the Begum whose only job was to sit down and look pretty or worse, pine after Jalal's attention like she was a lost puppy.

Eh, she winced at the mere suggestion and that was enough to alert Ruksaar to her absentmindedness.

"Jodha Begum," Ruksaar nudged her effectively back to the present.

That was the moment Jodha realized she'd been swirling her fingers around the decorative flowers in the water absentmindedly. It was also then she realized she was again the center of attention from the hundreds of women who gathered in and around the waters of the hammam.

Words could not describe how increasingly unsettling she was finding the stares of these women. While she may have found a few tolerable and fewer friendly companies within this building, the way the others stared at her was- safe to say, she'd rather experience Maa Sa's glare over again than be subjected to this.

"Krpaya, mujhe maaf karen, my mind took quite the trip down a certain lane," she gave an apologetic smile as if to dispel those creepy glances. It seemed to work for the most part.

(Please, pardon me)

Eh Kanha, if I have to deal with these stares one more time.

She prayed for the day she'd cease to be the center of their attention and eventually the recipient of their stares.

One of Jalal's concubines, Fatima, shrugged in response. She was one of the few who still had her glance on her.

"You seem quite...I do not know how to put it, Jodha Begum," she started, pushing her chest up and above the water level. "For one, a month has passed yet, you are like a mini-celebrity in the harem."

The hammam filled up with cacophonous giggles and Jodha could only join in, albeit nervously as she looked around.

"I doubt it is for anything good. I did defy Shehenshah in front of his court and-," She stopped right there, her eyes looking around the room to finalize her point.

Fatima snorted at that, "That you did. At first, it was unbelievable that anyone would do that and most of all, get away with it. Some begums have been banished to the cold palace for less."

The Cold Palace.

Just the sound of the place was enough to make the strongest of women shudder at the thought of ending up there. Ruqaiya often used that as a threat to make the other begums fall in line and it was way too effective.

"Fareeda, for one," Fatima mused, sadly. "She was one of us, and just like us, she was gifted to Badshah Jalaluddin Mohammad. She was with child but it turned out it was not Shehenshah's. Begum Ruqaiya was able to put the pieces together when she found out how far along Fareeda was. Upon hearing the news, Shehenshah had Fareeda and her lover apprehended."

The reveal had Jodha's eyes widen in shock and fear. If it was a begum in this position, she would have had the honour of a private trial, after all, an emperor had a reputation to protect unless he was ready to risk it all. A concubine, on the other hand, was not granted that type of luxury - it spelt death for her.

"Is she-?"

"Dead?" Fatima questioned incredulously. "She would have been dead had Malika-e-Azaam not intervened. Shehenshah was on the verge of ending her life and that of her unborn child along with her lover's. It did not matter that she was with child until Begum Sahiba reminded him it was against our religion."

Jodha blinked, then turned to verify from the women in the hammam, their silence enough to answer her unspoken question. So, he was that cruel that he needed someone - Ammi Jaan - to prevent him from executing a woman with child.

"So, you see why you are the star of this harem," Fatima then smiled at her, folding her arms as if she had not narrated a story that could have ended horribly. "We like to think Shehenshah finds you a bit entertaining. If he did not, you'd be in the Cold Palace rather than here with us. I say you should keep his attention for as long as you can."

No, I would rather not, Jodha fought the urge to shudder at the thought of-. Why would she want his attention on her? She'd rather be invisible, far from the back of his mind in fact. For if she was even at the back of his mind, fate would somehow find a way to bring her to the forefront and she'd rather not have that.

Fatima seemed to notice her recoil and she giggled at the look on her face. Her face would later turn serious as she took herself out of the water.

"I like you," she pointed at her before wrapping a thick cloth around her drenched attire. "And I can see you changing things around here, Jodha Begum. I hope you stick around."

For some reason unknown to her, Jodha found herself smiling. Perhaps it was about time she stepped up as a queen in this empire.

It was not every evening he sought to observe the sunset from the comfort of his palace but when he did, there was this strange sense of calmness that came with it.

From the top story, he got the honour of viewing the vastness of the Mughal Sultanate as he pondered on how once upon a time he had to take shelter in Umerkot while Abbu Jaan and the Malika-e-Azaam sought refuge in Persia.

Now, here he was, the seat of power back in Agra as he sought to build the dynasty of his ancestors, Timur in Hindustan while he further expanded his territories.

If only Abbu Jaan was alive to witness this, he wondered. How would the old man have reacted to this?

A sense of accomplishment filled him, his gaze taking him to the Angoori Bagh where sat two of his begums - Salima Sultan and Jodha Begum.

Just the sight of the latter brought with it a tilt of the corner of his lips.

He was fully aware of how actively she sought to avoid him after that night. He'd not be surprised if she cursed her ill fate every time they made eye contact in the Diwan-e-Khaas.

Like the day after when he had brought in Maan Singh for questioning. The young boy had answered his questions with no fear of a potentially grave consequence for breaking one of the rules of the Mughal Sultanate.

"Why should I fear? I only went in to check in on my Bua Sa."

Given that he was still young and had gone into his harem with the best of intentions, Jalal had let him off with a warning and an offer to serve in his court and as a warrior.

His empire could benefit from such bravery, and it seemed the apple did not fall far from the tree that produced Jodha.

Not even the sight of his rage that night has deterred his Rajput queen with the way she spoke back at him and attempted to wrestle her way out of his grip. The only time she stopped was the moment he threatened Amer and her family.

The sting of her rejection still lingered.

There were many women in the harem who would beg to have his attention on them, in fact, it was impressive the strategies they adopted just to get what they wanted.

An expensive and exotic perfume, kohl which lined their eyes as they fluttered their eyelids shyly at him - there was nothing they would not do just to have him in their chambers. And the things they did to ensure he'd come back to them afterwards...

Then, there was Amer's precious rose under his roof who did nothing to gain his attention - maybe except her bare midriff which was barely concealed by her ornately decorated translucent pallu - and had asked his khaas begum to make sure she never appeared on his mind at all.

It's useless, she was on his mind regardless, even if she avoided him.

"What is this I hear?" A familiar voice broke through his reverie as Jalal's smile widened. Never had he missed the presence of any man the way he did Abdul's. "I disappear for a few weeks only to hear that you have captured Amer's rose and brought her to Agra."

Not bothering to turn, he greeted, "Salaam aleikum, Abdul."

"Walaikum salaam, Bhaijaan."

Not related by blood but by loyalty, Abdul bin Nasir was one of the few people Jalal would consider his family even more than he did Khan Baba and Badi Ammi.

The man was so loyal that he had lost his ability to walk to protect him from an assassination attempt in Delhi. Abdul was also one of the few who would be honest to his face, giving no thought to the consequences of speaking the bitter truth.

Well, there was the fact that Jalal would not harm a disabled man unless said man was a threat to his life. Maybe that was what emboldened Abdul to be brutally honest, the brutal part being emphasized.

But men like Abdul were rare and Jalal would rather keep them close than have them slip through his fingers. His court was filled with snakes who would hiss flattering words to get in his good graces, so a man who was not afraid of keeping it real with him was welcome to his close circle.

"With the amount of time you spent away from here, I had presumed you were captured and I would have to rescue you from the enemy's camp again," Jalal added, a teasing tone before he turned to view the unimpressed facial expression of Abdul.

"A man gets captured once and never gets the chance to live it down," Abdul scoffed before taking a seat on one of the divans, his crutches placed next to him. "Tell me, how were you able to bring in Amer's rose? I doubt you just summoned her into Agra after the defeat of her homeland."

Jalal raised an eyebrow at that before shaking his head, "And risk being Allaudin Khliji the Second? Not by the hands of Khuda. The Rajputs place their honor above their own lives, she is not any different. I had to choose a different strategy, one that would yield less bloodshed and give me exactly what I wanted."

Impressed, Abdul looked up at him. If not for his seated position, the man would have given Jalal a pat on the back.

"You never cease to amaze me, Jalal," he grinned at him. "But I am afraid you have only completed your first phase of conquest."

The emperor wanted to groan at the unfortunate reminder, his gaze taking him to the Angoori Bagh where she remained seated. She sat silently as if in focus as Salima Begum seemed to read out a poem to her.

"I know."

"Do you? Or you had to learn the hard way?"

Jalal almost had a whiplash from how fast he turned to glance back at Abdul although it felt like a glare this time. How the man before him could figure that out was beyond him.

"I thought you wanted me to bring the then Shezhadi Jodha to Agra, what changed?"

Using his crutches to support himself, Abdul stood up, his hand lightly patting him on his back, "Women like Bhabijaan are no easy conquest, Bhaijaan. Besides, it was obvious you considered sweeping her into your arms. Now that you have her where you want her, what comes next?"

Looking down at her again, he folded his arms across his chest. Abdul spoke no lies, as usual. Jalal smiled to himself at the unspoken challenge Abdul had him on but for now, he'd rather get the information he needed from the man before returning his focus to his Rajput begum.

Never in her years of living had she heard a poem written so eloquently, each line so beautifully recited as they conveyed the emotions of the poet.

"I have never heard words so beautifully articulated, Salima Begum. It is like hearing a messenger from the gods themselves," Jodha muttered, her appreciation obvious.

A chuckle left Salima as she arranged the sheets back into a worn leatherback book, "Bairam Khan, Allah yerhamo, once wrote this. A month had passed after the death of his first wife and Rahim's Ammi, Miriam binti Khan, and borne out of grief was this poem. Returning to this is a reminder of him in one of many ways."

(May Allah have mercy on his soul)

Jodha smiled sadly as she pondered the duality of man. From what she was aware of, Bairam Khan was known for his ruthlessness in and outside the battlefield but at the end of the day, he was still a man who loved his wives especially if Salima could speak so positively about him after his death.

"You must miss him."

"Not a day goes by when I do not miss him, Jodha Begum," Salima replied, the sheets now neatly arranged into the book. "Because of him, my eyes and my mind have been open to exploring more of my creativity. Because of him, I have turned to poetry. His love and his memory are what drives me to write more."

With an exhale, Jodha looked ahead, basking in the serenity of the gardens. To experience love in such a way was a blessing - one that she had always dreamt of experiencing. It seemed it would remain a dream considering the man she was married to and her values would not permit her to think of another man in that kind of light.

"Jodha Begum, please, permit me to take my leave. Tomorrow, Abdul Rahim will be back in the palace and I have to ensure everything is in order for his arrival. Shabha khair," Salima was up on her feet now.

Jodha was about to let her go when she remembered a question she had been itching to ask.

"Salima Begum!"

The older woman turned back to her in attention

"I do not intend to take too much out of your time," Jodha started before deciding to get straight to the point. Wasting the precious time of another person was the last thing she needed to do. "About what we discussed the night before-."

"Oh," Salima smiled in remembrance. "I am afraid I am not as experienced in matters of running an empire but Ammi Jaan - Malika-e-Azaam - might be a lot more helpful in answering your questions than I am."

With a nod, Jodha pressed her hands together to express her gratitude, "Dhanyavaad aur shubh raatri, Salima Begum."

(Thank you and good night)

Salima reciprocated the gesture, her hand touching her forehead as she bowed slightly, "Khuda hafiz, Jodha Begum."

And just like that, she was alone in the Angoori Bagh.

closing notes: I lied, I cannot do the twice-a-week updates anymore. also, this is supposed to be more of a filler chapter.

the serial's explanation for Abdul not being in the serial after episode 20: "Abdul? we had an Abdul? we're just gonna pretend as if he never existed"
my explanation for Abdul's absence until now: "oh, he was out on a mission spying for Jalal, but he'll show up in later chapters"

Uhhh. I have read the chapter already in Wattpad before it was published here!! So forgot to comment.

▪︎ I absolutely loved the harem scenes. Jodha warming up to harem inmates, as they should! Because they were only the solaces of each other in that big harem

▪︎ Jalal keeping eyes on her as she bonded with Salima ~ waiting for Rahim's entry!!

▪︎ ahhh!! Abdul returned!! Now I am curious how he would be the cupid between his Bhaijaan and Bhabhijaan.

Originally posted by: AninditaB

Uhhh. I have read the chapter already in Wattpad before it was published here!! So forgot to comment.

▪︎ I absolutely loved the harem scenes. Jodha warming up to harem inmates, as they should! Because they were only the solaces of each other in that big harem

▪︎ Jalal keeping eyes on her as she bonded with Salima ~ waiting for Rahim's entry!!

▪︎ ahhh!! Abdul returned!! Now I am curious how he would be the cupid between his Bhaijaan and Bhabhijaan.

it's all good! I am glad to see your feedback here!

absolutely, I hate how the serial failed to show Jodha's relationship with the other women or how it made those women sit around to pine after Jalal's attention (gosh, it made me want to off myself just watching that... 😬)

I do think Abdul would have been a mediator, especially during the miscarriage track in the serial. while I am skipping that track (for now) in this story, I do hope to incorporate him in some scenes later on for this ff.

again, thank you for the feedback and I look forward to reading more from you 😄💜

Hey!!
Don't worry regarding the speed of updates, the turtle did win the race after all. Take your time.
Now onto the chapter!
I loved the dynamic between Abdul and Jalal, especially since it is obvious that Abdul shows Jalal the mirror more often than not, making him face reality and saying the hard things that Jalal himself may sometimes wish to ignore.

The cold palace...oooooh, this seems ominous.
The other Begums in the harem have a black cat sort of energy- an amalgamation of something nice and bitchy.
I did feel sorry for Pinaaz more than for Ruqaiya for a few reasons that you too mentioned in the scene--
1. Pinaaz has only her beauty going for her, which is ephemeral.

2. Ruqaiya already has Jalal's attention, the royal blood (which was important in the harem). She is intelligent over all that and mind as we discussed in the one of man's greatest weapons.

3. Kindness is the greatest superpower but it seems that Pinaz lacks that too.

Again, can't help but mention it again- I really loved the brother bond between Abdul and Jalal, Abdul calling Jodha 'Bhabhijaan' 🤌🤌

Originally posted by: lkdaswani

Hey!!
Don't worry regarding the speed of updates, the turtle did win the race after all. Take your time.
Now onto the chapter!
I loved the dynamic between Abdul and Jalal, especially since it is obvious that Abdul shows Jalal the mirror more often than not, making him face reality and saying the hard things that Jalal himself may sometimes wish to ignore.

The cold palace...oooooh, this seems ominous.
The other Begums in the harem have a black cat sort of energy- an amalgamation of something nice and bitchy.
I did feel sorry for Pinaaz more than for Ruqaiya for a few reasons that you too mentioned in the scene--
1. Pinaaz has only her beauty going for her, which is ephemeral.

2. Ruqaiya already has Jalal's attention, the royal blood (which was important in the harem). She is intelligent over all that and mind as we discussed in the one of man's greatest weapons.

3. Kindness is the greatest superpower but it seems that Pinaz lacks that too.

Again, can't help but mention it again- I really loved the brother bond between Abdul and Jalal, Abdul calling Jodha 'Bhabhijaan' 🤌🤌

I will try to take my time. I just don't want to get burned out because I have experienced that before, while in school, and it was not a pretty thing to live through at all.

absolutely, Abdul is one of the few people in the serial who was not scared to keep it real with him while the others kissed it up to Jalal for the sake of their own agenda. even Jalal wonders if Abdul's brutal honesty is because he is disabled and he knows Jalal will not harm him as a result 💀. I feel like Abdul would have made a great mediator in so many tracks for akdha (especially in the miscarriage track, the fake pregnancy track and the Benazir story line). I am never forgiving the CVs for erasing him and acting like he never existed 😑😩

I got the idea of the cold palace from an akdha one-shot on Wattpad "Baazigar". the existence of one in this setting did make sense to me as many queens historically were banished either outside the kingdom or to isolated chambers for committing perceived or actual serious crimes.

ah yes, but then, these are women competing for the attention of one man who rarely gives them the time of the day, there are bound to be women acting so catty towards one another. it is sad to see but unfortunately, that is the reality in a lot of polygamous cultures. it is a matter of the fight for power for most of these women as well.

I also felt bad for Pinaaz as well. unlike Pinaaz, Ruqaiya does not rely on her beauty. unlike Pinaaz, Ruqaiya actually has Jalal's attention and interest. unlike Pinaaz, Ruqaiya has both the power and the position of being Jalal's Zan-e-Kalan and the head of the harem. Pinaaz has so many disadvantages already but these really set her at the bottom of the list. Jodha, witnessing these, does not want to become like this at all which is why she seeks advice from Salima who then directs her to Hamida.

I had to make them brothers, not by blood, but by bond. Jalal really needed at least a platonic companion who neither the people in his court nor his chosen "family". and yeah, Abdul would consider Jodha his bhabhijaan, after all, she did stop Suryabhan from executing him on the spot in Amer. he would be a staunch akdha supporter, in fact 😂.

thanks again for the feedback 😄💜

welcome to the masquerade (🏜️🌹 )

flashback - a few days after the wedding

The world used to look so bright and never had Rani Mainavati missed hearing the sound of swords clashing against each other below the terrace until now.

It was there that her Jodha would practise her sword fights.

When did the palace get so silent? What happened to the hushed whispers as her daughters would argue amongst themselves what a certain literary theme meant?

The last time, it was about an ancient Mesopotamian folklore - what was it called again? It was something about a king. Why did she fail to remember the name of the book?

Was it a Gilgamesh? It could have been him. It was King Gilgamesh.

Jodha had gotten that epic as a gift from Bharmal, a one-of-a-kind gift being that it was rare to find a script which was translated from its original language - Akkadian - to Hindi.

Oh, how her daughter had loved it to the point she would read it till it was worn and the philosophical questions she'd ask? Mainavati could only smile sadly.

The chambers in which Jodha had made hers for 18 years stood neatly arranged just the way its owner had left it. Yet the sight of it made the ache in Mainavati's heart grow even more prominent.

Was this what it felt like to let go of her daughter? Was she bound to suffer like this with Sukanya and Shivani as well?

That pondering had led her to this point, her puja tray in her hands as she prepared to offer prayers at the Ambe Maa Mandir.

After offering puja, she was prepared to leave before she came face to face with an unexpected presence - the recognizable hunched figure supported by her staff.

"Rani Sa."

"Shaguni Bai," Mainavati acknowledged her, confused as to whatever prediction the crone was about to give her next.

Pleased to know that her presence in this mandir had thrown Mainavati off, Shaguni Bai burst into a bout of chuckles.

"You seemed surprised to find me here."

Mainavati's face fell, her voice brittle, "Anyone would be. You do not show up on invite, no one knows if whatever you come to say will bring them peace or fear."

The clairvoyant shrugged, "A man's destiny does not show up on invite, neither do I. The fate of man is always uncertain. My fate, on the other hand, has led me here to meet you, Rani Sa."

Mainavati nodded wearily. Was this the part she'd admit her defeat by destiny? Was this where she admitted that her plans to change Jodha's fate failed woefully?

"We cannot attempt to stop or change our fate, after all. Tell me, what plans have the deities written down for Jodha?"

Letting out a sigh, Shaguni Bai started, "You did all you could for Jodha, Rani Sa. Only a good mother would stand before the gods and fight them if it meant granting their offspring the best of life. You did what you thought was right."

With a scoff, Mainavati swiped a thumb to wipe off a stray tear.

"I still lost a losing battle. Jodha is surrounded by foreigners, I cannot say if she is happy or if she has found her family there. My worst fears have been fulfilled, Shaguni Bai, I do not know if I made the right choice letting her go to Mughal territory," her voice broke as the urge to cry grew stronger with each word. "Tell me, will my Jodha find happiness there? In a land far from home?"

With a click of the tongue, Shaguni Bai leaned in her stick, shifting her weight, "Why do you think I made my journey down to Amer even after you shut the gates behind me, Rani Mainavati?"

The queen winced internally at the reminder.

"Regardless, I hold no grudges against you for that, Rani Sa. Fate led me down here to assuage your worries. Perhaps with these words, you might finally have the peace of mind you have prayed for," the clairvoyant added.

"What has fate decided for Jodha, Shaguni Bai?"

Gripping hard onto the staff, Shaguni Bai raised her head to maintain eye contact with Mainavati, the queen showing visible worry as each second passed.

"What more should I say, Mainavati? Jodha was placed with the Mughals for something bigger than herself, to leave a mark significant that people would look back on her impact for years to come."

Then, Mainavati noticed the hesitation on Shaguni's part which urged her to question, "There is more, that is why you hesitate, isn't it?"

"Fate showed me obstacles, hurdles Jodha would have to overcome, but Rani Sa," Shaguni Bai smiled again with reassurance. "You raised a rose, not a broken reed. Rajkumari Jodha would surely overcome whatever challenge she faces."

With tears of relief in her eyes, Mainavati brought her hands together in gratitude. She could finally breathe and rest well with this.

"Dhanyavaad, Shaguni Bai, dhanyavaad."

flashback over

Now in her palki, Mainavati struggled to keep her eyes open as the hours she had spent sleepless the last night were finally catching up on her.

It took her days to plead with Bharmal to let her venture out on this journey to Agra.

Shaguni Bai's words did help bring in the relief she sought at the Ambe Maa Mandir but at the end of the day, Rani Mainavati was still a mother and a mother had to worry about her daughter.

The last time she had Jodha physically with her, the younger woman had a forlorn look, her mind so far away. The last time was met with sorrow at the thought of leaving for an unknown territory.

Now, Mainavati had to see if she was at least happy in her marriage. Jodha might not love the man she was married to and it might eventually take time before the couple would get to that point or maybe they would never feel that kind of love, fate could be that unpredictable.

She could only laugh at her sleep-deprived mind which went into an overdrive in this manner. She was barely at Agra and yet, here she was, ruminating.

She then sighed as she shut her eyes, it was only a matter of days before she'd finally step foot on the soils of Agra, until then, she needed to rest in Morpheus' arms.

Once she had concluded her morning namaz, Hamida rolled up her prayer mat, a serene smile on her face. There was this inexplicable joy which came each time she had her dua.

Standing on her feet, she was about to put away the mat when a khwaja sara walked into her hojra, his head bowed in respect.

"Adaab, Begum Sahiba, Jodha Begum requests permission to see you."

Initially in worry, Hamida nodded in hesitance. While they would occasionally meet outside the harem, like in the Angoori Bagh, this would be one of the first times Jodha would request an audience with her in her hojra.

Was anything amiss?

Soon, her worries were assuaged as Jodha walked into her chambers, her hands were together as she greeted, "Pranaam, Ammi Jaan."

"Adaab, bete," she responded in kind as she slowly unwrapped her makeshift veil. With the dupatta on her shoulders, she gestured toward a divan nearby, "Please, take your seat. My sincere apologies if I kept you waiting."

"Nahi, Ammi Jaan, it was merely for a while," Jodha replied, with a wave of dismissal. "Besides, I do not want to interrupt you while you are observing a religious rite. You have respected mine; it is only natural I return the gesture, Ammi Jaan."

With a smile, Hamida nodded before taking the spot beside Jodha. If her bahu was here, it had to be for something important, right? Whatever it was, Hamida could only hope Jalal was not written in it. Jodha did not need to shout it from the rooftops of how she actively avoided her son.

Ya Khuda, I do not know what You have written in stone for these two but I can only hope it is for their good and that of the sultanate.

"How are you finding Agra so far, bete? I reckon it has been to your liking."

She hoped it was.

At least, from the few times they had happened to cross paths, Jodha seemed content. The Rajput queen was content as long as she was not in the same room as Jalal, Hamida could only hope that Jalal's presence did not sour her perception of her new home.

With a restrained smile, Jodha conveyed her response, "So far, I cannot say, Ammi Jaan, this has been a lovely place so far and I have found a few to call family. You have been good to me and I appreciate your kind gesture."

Hamida could only sigh in relief. For she was aware that for a woman like Jodha - Registan ka Gulab - a man like Jalal was not an easy man to love. And she had a role to play in that, the one thing she viewed as a failure on her part.

Even now, Jalal viewed her so coldly, his greetings and interactions with her restricted to formalities as if she were a stranger.

Hamida could only respect his boundaries while hoping that one day, he'd open up his heart to her and they would be able to reconcile. Until then, it did not stop the Malika-e-Azaam from praying for his welfare and her intuition seemed to draw her towards Jodha for some reason.

Could her interest in the Rajvanshi queen go beyond her lifelong appreciation for the Rajputs who had granted her refuge while she was with child? Or could it be the worldview Jodha abided by?

A woman who ruled by her heart and a sense of justice against a man who believed he had no heart and ruled by his wits and the sword; Fate could not have picked two people who vastly differed from each other the way the east differed from the west.

"It brings me great joy to know that you find your stay in Agra satisfying, but tell me, Jodha, what brings you here?"

With a beaming smile, she replied, "I know it has been a month since I've been here but there has been this thought weighing on my mind for quite a while. Salima Begum and I had a conversation about this and she advised I had this discussion with you as you'd be more experienced with this."

At the mention of Salima Sultan Begum's name, Hamida could slowly put the pieces together as well as appreciate the fact that her other bahu was able to find a company in Jodha Begum.

After the death of Bairam Khan and then marrying Jalal to ensure both her safety and that of Abdul Rahim, Salima was slowly coming out of her shell and interacting with someone other than her immediate family.

"Do tell, bete, I am happy to help," she was quick to reply.

With a nod, Jodha continued, "Before I-," she hesitated for a moment. "Before my shaadi to Shehenshah, Maa Sa told me about the expectations that come with being a queen."

Oh, Hamida was all ears now. This was a first, a begum who was interested in the affairs of the empire. Of course, there was Ruqaiya but she was the last person whom the khaas begum would think of consulting for such matters.

"Of course, I am no stranger to such matters as I'd often accompany Maa Sa," Jodha sighed. "However, I am a stranger to this place and after pondering, I believe you are the best person to consult."

"Allah aap ko khush rakhe," Hamida exclaimed, her appreciation for the woman before her growing as the days flew by. If she was not already endeared to the Rajvanshi queen before her, she was now and how could she refuse her request?
(God bless you)

"Siphani!" She called out, one of the khwaja saras standing guard in front of her hojra rushing in.

"Adaab, Begum Sahiba, huzoor," the eunuch greeted the two queens with both of them acknowledging his greeting.

"Call Iqbal, tell him Malika-e-Azaam requests he prepare two palkis and twenty guards before noon. It is a matter of royal duties," she ordered.

Without a word, the eunuch bowed in respect before turning to leave.

Then, Hamida faced Jodha again, "I had planned to visit one of the masjids outside the fort. The muezzin complains about something to do with the facilities within the building, this would be your initial duty as a begum, bete."

Both women stood up, on their way out.

"Tell me, bete, how much do you love stories?"

Jodha beamed this time at the question, "I could quote the Iliad, Padmavaat and the Odyssey if you asked me to, Ammi Jaan. I have always loved stories ever since I was a little Rajkumari."

Satisfied with the answer given, Hamida took a turn to the left, "Then you might be interested in Mughal history. Gulbadan Begum has been working on the Humayun Nama for a while now. Before we leave the fort, I have to give my account."

Jodha nodded slowly at that, "It is important to take down records, not just for safekeeping but to tell stories to be passed down to the next generations."

Hamida held in the urge to snort, the act being unsuitable for a person her status. But the fact that her son and Jodha might share a few things in common made her face light up with a smile.

"That was the same thing Jalal said when he requested his Phoophi write the Humayun Nama," she said, not missing the slight way Jodha had stiffened for a moment.

"H-he has a point in that case," Jodha replied hesitantly, her eyes on the floor. It must have been uncomfortable hearing his name brought up or even having to acknowledge they shared the same thought on something like this.

Hamida could only sigh. If only these two would take the step to know each other. Who knew what more they'd find out about one another?

Exhaustion was an understatement for what Jodha had felt the moment she walked back into her hojra. While going outside the fort and seeing the locals for the first time brought her indescribable joy, interacting with so many people for the first time was draining.

She had almost fallen asleep until she realized she had to take off the heavy clothes and her jewelry. She complained to Moti and Reva as they helped her take down the golden jewelry.

"Who even does this?"

It took a few minutes after taking a bath in the hammam before she'd fall into the arms of Morpheus, her eyes barely able to stay open any longer.

The next morning had Reva gently shaking her awake, her eyes barely adjusting to the early morning light.

"Jodha," her dasi's voice sounded distant in her ears. "Jodha Bai."

Still barely awake, Jodha sat up. Before her stood Reva and Moti with the latter holding up a sealed scroll.

Muttering some complaints under her breath, she made her way out to the hammam. Only after she had freshened up and dressed up did she feel more energized and fully awake.

"Jodha," Reva started, her hand holding out the scroll. "You have a letter from Rani Sa."

With a frown, she took the letter, her fingers gently lifting the seal.

"When did this come in? Yesterday?"

"You had returned, barely able to stay awake," it was Moti's turn to answer. "Reva and I had chosen to hold on to this letter for today."

Jodha nodded silently as she read through the contents. It seemed her mind still took its time to catch up to the fact that she was back to consciousness as she had to read through the letter over again.

Namaste Laadli,

It has been quite a month and Amer misses you. I have never seen the palace look emptier than it does now and never has everywhere seemed quieter. I pray that Ambe Maa continues to grant you her protection over there.

I know that this might come as a surprise but after days of persuading your Bhapu, he has granted me permission to come with him. As you read this letter right now, we are on our way to Agra, it is a matter of days before I will finally get to see you again.

I miss you, bete and I cannot wait to see you.

With love from Maa Sa.

Rolling back the scroll, Jodha set it aside on the vanity table. If this was any other occasion, she would have been elated by the fact that Maa Sa had convinced Bhapusa to let her come with him for a ritual only fathers were to partake in.

But this was unlike what a younger version of herself dreamt of a long time ago. A younger Jodha saw herself in a Rajput kingdom as a Maharani to a Raja who would view her as the one close to his heart.

The words Jalal had said to her in his drunken state still seared itself in the deepest parts of her mind.

And a man is at his most honest when he's drunk.

If Maa Sa caught wind of the true nature of her marriage, she would be heartbroken and wrought with regret. The last thing Jodha needed was that.

"Jodha," Moti called out, her voice breaking through her reverie. "Is anything the matter?"

"You seem lost in your thoughts," Reva added.

Staring back at the letter, Jodha shook her head. What was she to do? She could not just ask the caravan carrying Maa Sa and Bhapusa to turn back, especially not when they were in the middle of a six-day-long journey.

"It's nothing," she put on a fake smile. Catching the blank expression on her dasis' faces, she could tell that they were not fooled at all.

How could she possibly fool them?

"Tell me, Reva, Moti," she stared at them forlornly. "Why do I wish Maa Sa and Bhapusa didn't have to come over to complete the Pag Phera rituals?"

Exchanging glances, Moti and Reva grasped the reason for her fallen countenance. They were aware of how Maa Sa hoped that her daughters would be in happy homes, but for Jodha, she could barely bear to stand the intense stare Jalal sent her.

It is probably his way of reminding me of how much of a conquest he sees me, she concluded.

The man himself was an enigma - claiming to hate her while his eyes beheld her in a way that sent shivers down her spine. Whether it was in a good way or bad, she had no idea.

"It is no secret that he hates me and he'll try to humiliate me with every opportunity he gets. If Maa Sa should find out we hate each other, she'll be heartbroken," she said, her fingers moving to catch a stray tear. "I can't let that happen."

The sight of Maa Sa trying not to cry during the Saptapadi rituals replayed as if fresh in her mind. Was she to face the same thing again? Was this another way of fate making her a spectacle for the gods again?

What terrible sin had she committed in the past life for her to earn this?

"Jodha," Moti shook her out of her thoughts. Jodha looked up, wondering what solution she was about to offer. "I think there's a way you could resolve this. Shehenshah-."

Without thinking twice, Jodha shook her head in protest, "Nahi."

She'd do anything but that - rather have Maan Singh snatch some of her jalebis and ladoos off her plate than seek audience with that jallad. What made Moti think she'll go to him of all people and grovel before him?

"But Jodha," Reva joined in. "Shehenshah might be your only hope here. Think about it, what would everyone think if they knew the truth of your relationship with Shehenshah?"

She had feared they'd say that. Could fate not do her any worse than it was doing right now? Couldn't she find any other way aside from meeting the man himself?

"We know you'd rather have any other option but this but-," Moti cut herself off with a regretful shrug. "A little truce and negotiation while Raja and Rani Sa are here in Agra would not hurt, Jodha."

Narrowing her eyes in annoyance, Jodha begrudgingly saw the wisdom in Moti's advice. There'll be a day when she will question Kanha on what sin she had committed in a past life for her to put up with this.

But for now, she needed to swallow her pride if she hoped to set her terms with the devil himself.

What an unexpected turn of events.

The last thing he had anticipated was her request to seek an audience with him. It was ironic, wasn't it, that the one begum who made herself scarce was here, under his roof and while he was in his hammam.

His lips curled up in a smug smirk as he replied to the bandhi behind him to let her in.

What was it that would bring Jodha Begum into his chambers? He could only wonder as the women surrounding him in the hammam applied the turmeric paste on him, their soft hands massaging his shoulders and back.

Letting himself bask in the treatment, it would take a matter of seconds he'd snap himself back to consciousness as soon as his ears picked up the sound of payal chiming.

Ya Khuda, he never thought he'd find himself in appreciation of the sound of a jewelry piece of all things yet here he was anyway.

"Your presence here is quite a pleasant surprise, Jodha Begum," he called out. He wished he could see her face right now although he did not need to do that to know her face was turned away in realization she had walked in while he was bathing.

"I will not take much of your time, Shehenshah," she retorted, her tone curt. "I am only here for a brief request."

He could only smirk at that. Brief, right? With a signal of his fingers, he dismissed the bandhis, some of whom did not fail to show their displeasure as they left the hammam. Now, it was just him and Jodha Begum in this steamy room with the heady scent of oud and frankincense permeating the air.

"What brief request brings you here, Jodha Begum? What brief request would force you to walk into the lion's den?" He drawled, his tone dripping with sarcasm, teasing her.

The room stood silent as if she was coming up with appropriate answers to give him.

It was a matter of seconds before her voice went unusually soft and calm, "You must have heard from my Bhapusa that he and Maa Sa will be coming to Agra to complete the Pag Phera rituals."

He could tell why she was here, his head turning about 90° to catch a glimpse of her. She held up her dupatta like it was a shield - with visible discomfort at the fact that she was unfortunate to be with him in his hammam. He fought the urge to chuckle at the realization that she had not anticipated seeking an audience with him in this place of all places.

As always, she never ceased to catch his attention with her attire. She looked every bit like the Rajvanshi royalty she was and it never failed to have him under her spell. For a woman who wanted him to never consider her, she never failed to stick out to him.

"Surely, you did not come all the way to this place to announce the arrival of your waldain, in that case, you have wasted your time."

"No," her voice was firm and his grin grew wider. "Why would I make a journey from my hojra to yours for this? That is not why I am here."

Facing ahead, he chuckled at her response, "Then pray tell, Jodha Begum, what is your request?"

He could swear he heard her let out a sigh before she could answer his question.

"It is not my wish that my mita-pita find out how much we both hate each other," she answered. "It will break their hearts, especially Maa Sa's. I cannot-."

Interesting, Jalal thought as he sniggered, "So, you want me to lie to them that we love each other?"

Oh, only Khuda could tell how much he planned to milk this to his advantage.

Yet, she was not the one to let him throw her off that easily, her answer swift enough, "I won't go that far. I only want them to believe we tolerate each other's presence."

Fair enough.

"And you'll do all this just to maintain an illusion."

"I will do anything if it means they will be happy."

Her voice was soft, tender in fact. His face fixed into a scowl just at that, his eyes narrowing.

"Anything?" He questioned, his voice going octaves lower as he treaded on a dangerous territory with her. The hand holding on to her dupatta fell at her side as she faced him.

He could see the internal battle that roused from that question as if she was gauging if it was safe enough for her to answer that question.

"Any-Anything," she was initially hesitant in giving that answer which had him look at her intensely. She had come in to make a deal with the devil and who was he to not take full advantage of it.

"Bathe me."

"W-what?!" She almost sputtered at his request, her face probably blanching at the thought of being within proximity to him. "I could get one of the bandhis to do that."

"No, I want you to do it yourself," a wide grin spread across his face. "It is a part of my condition."

"Condition?"

With an eyebrow raised, he snorted, "What? You're not the only one to set conditions here, Jodha Begum. Besides, I thought you'd do anything for the happiness of your waldain yet you hesitate."

Patiently, he awaited her next response. He had conditioned himself to expect anything from the spitfire behind him but her response came with silence, her payals shuffling with each step she took closer to the waters. Her presence cast a shadow behind him as she sat on the borders of the hammam. Not even the fragrances in the pool could overpower the scent of jasmine that came from her.

Her bejewelled hand picked up the jar of water beside him, the warm liquid pouring down his torso. Little had he anticipated how greatly her touch would affect him until it did. It felt surprisingly gentle coming from the woman who swore to have his head at her feet.

His eyes fluttered shut and his fists clenched at the jolts her touch sent down his spine. Like an addict, his mind sought for more and if this arrangement was one of the ways he'll get his need for her touch, then so be it. He was ready to exploit every bit of it.

closing notes: it is always funny to me how Jalal claims to hate Jodha to the point he wouldn't touch her yet he actively seeks her touch and finds ways to have her touch him. did he really hate her or it was another way of him trying to cope with Jodha's disinterest in him? we all know the actual answer.

also, I may be incorrect about the post-wedding ritual portrayed in the serial being Pag Phera. I tried searching the internet and Hindu wedding blogs for this and Pag Phera seemed to be the closest to what was shown in the serial. I could be wrong though and please, do not hesitate to correct me on this. that being said, thanks for reading 😊