Author's note: This is one of those times when I have written something for the sake of my own sanity. What's happening in the show right now has made Armaan so despicable to me and the emotional abuse that Abhira is being subjected to is excruciating to watch. So here is an OS (a very long one at that) for Abhira and the acha Aadmi that she deserves. Also, a small request, I am kinda new here, my work doesn't reach a lot of people. Would you all mind tagging your friends who might be interested in reading this?
Thank you.
A sweet melody was drifting through the buzzing atmosphere. Admist the sophisticated carousing of wine glasses, and soft greetings of the country's top most legal professionals, dressed up in branded tuxedos, elegant sarees and dresses, Abhira stood near the bar counter, her heart racing in anticipation, a slight wave of anxiety rising in her chest. It's been 5 years since she walked out of the Poddar mansion, away from the shackles of their emotional abuse, away from the constant tornado of undeserving blames, that seemed to drown her. And after the divorce proceedings had concluded, this would be the first time she would be facing them. Abhira wasn't scared, not anymore, but the mere distant sight of them, made her relive the tapestry of the abuses inflicted upon her, and the years of grief, pain, counselling and healing that followed, overwhelming her with the weight of emotions that rushed through her veins. Abhira had made a rope of her own spine and moved forward in life and it hasn't been easy.
She was about to lose her grip when a hand gently wrapped around her waist from behind, instantly relaxing her tensed nerves, and she let herself lay her head back on Rihaan's chest, sighing in relief. "Are you alright Abhira? I am right here, okay. You don't have to do this if you aren't ready, we can make this one of our escapades and embark on another night adventure, what do you say?"
Abhira smiled softly and turned in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck. Rihaan was still getting used to her being so fluid and carefree around him. And every time she did something like this, he couldn't help but stare at her in awe. He would never forget the abyss of grief that he has seen in the depths of her kind beautiful eyes. He had seen how raw her wounds were and how she had meticulously built these walls around her, isolating herself from any real human connection.
But then he has also seen her kindness, he has seen her regaining her light, he has seen her mischief and her cute antics. And he would never forget the first time he had heard her laugh, it was about one year into their friendship, when he had tripped and fallen into a puddle on the side of the road, while he was walking backwards ranting to Abhira, and accidently smeared his ice cream on his face, making a clown nose. If you ask him, her laughter wasn't a mere melody, to him, it felt like the first ray of the sun when the dawn breaks. Her laughter had such child-like innocence to it, the sun just seemed to brighten with a soft glow when she laughed. That day, she had laughed so hard, after so long, that she started crying. That was the day she told Rihaan about her past with the Poddar's. Ever since, April seemed like the cruellest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.
"I know I am beautiful Mr. Singhania but you have to stop staring at me", Abhira playfully flicked his nose. His gaze softened and he caressed her cheek. "I can't help it you know, your eyes, they are beautiful. But on a serious note Abhira, you don't have to put yourself through the pain of looking at their faces. I know how strong you are, but we can escape if you want."
She closed her eyes and hugged him, letting him softly pat her head. Rihaan had scared her initially, with the softness and adoration that his eyes carried, almost seemed unreal, especially when directed at her. He has been her constant in the past four and a half years, he has been there through her panic attacks, through her breakdowns, her sudden bouts of self doubt. Her time with the Poddars had damaged her psyche in ways that it almost seemed impossible to have a life free from the scars they had inflicted upon her. There were times Abhira would wake up in the middle in the night, when the voices in her head got too loud, screaming at her broken spirit, reminding her of her loneliness. On those nights, Rihaan would stay on call with her until she fell asleep and some times even reach under her balcony. On days when Abhira, got too overwhelmed after her sessions with the therapist, he would take her to the lakeside and let her be, allowing her to calm herself. And on days when she felt she had taken a step forward, he would celebrate with her. He had cried with her, laughed with her and well fallen in love with her way before she was ready to, and he had patiently waited, never once letting her feel guilty about her fears.
"I am aware of your lousy socialising tendencies, Rihaan. Stop using me as an excuse for your own motivations to escape social gatherings."
"Ouch! You hurt my feelings Abhira. If it wasn't for my father wanting to brag about the professional achievements of his future daughter in law, I had other plans for us," Rihaan spoke dramatically, making her giggle.
"It's okay. I have to face them, I am doing this for myself, and I just want this last closure Rihaan."
"Well then, I am right beside you. And...I brought you something to wish you luck..."
Before he could finish his sentence, Abhira had already snatched the cupcake from his hand and stuffed it in her mouth, smearing the whipped cream on her face. To Rihaan she looked utterly adorable. Giggling at her antics, he pulled out his handkerchief and gently cleaned her face.
"Vakeel Sahiba...sometimes you seem to forget what a prominent figure you are."
Lost in their little bubble of blithe, they were unaware of the pair of eyes gazing at them with remorse and a tinge of jealousy. Five years, three months and 16 days, since Armaan had silently watched Abhira walk out of his house. He couldn't call it a home, not when she wasn't there. Alas, he was too late to realise how he had wronged her in ways that had broken something within her. And now it was too late to make amends. He still remembered the day, every single insult and blame thrown at her when Ruhi spilled Charu's secret infront of the family. However, that one memory that still makes his heart ache is the hurt in Abhira's eyes, the void in the depths of grief that replaced the mischief and warmth in her eyes. And what he regrets the most, is allowing Ruhi to manipulate him and hurt Abhira to irremediable lengths. He often wonders if he could have had made a life with Abhira if he hadn't be the spineless man that he was. He had tried to reach out to her when they had crossed paths during the divorce proceedings but she remained distant and quiet.
His life had taken a significant turn since then, Charu found out about his relationship with Ruhi and revealed it to the family. While Daadi sa didn't evict him for the sake of family reputation, Ruhi was immediately asked to leave. Although, he hadn't been at peace, especially with the silent treatment he recieved from Vidya, the shame and disgust that he saw in her eyes, had made him reflect and introspect in ways leading him to drown in the depths of self loathing.
Today, as he saw her giggling in the arms of another man, that fondness and innocence reflecting in her irises while her smile being the beacon of light...the same light that he had excruciatingly snatched from her in his blind rage and foolishness, a part of him found the catharsis he had been yearning for, but a part of him was anguished by the realisation of loss of her.
He composed himself as he saw Rakesh Singhania walking towards him.
"Mr. Poddar, I am glad you could make it."
"The pleasure is all mine, thank you for inviting me sir. Congratulations on your success."
"Oh I am not right the person to recieve the accolades. The credit goes to my daughter, she is the actual star. Let me introduce you to her", Rakesh turned prompting Abhira to join to them.
Armaan could see the light shade of nervousness on her face. She grabbed Rihaan's sleeve from the elbow and walked towards him, making his heart beat faster with each passing second, reminding him of the last time she had grabbed his sleeve, her eyes begging for him to believe her, asking for support, but he had dismissed her, giving her the worst heart break of all.
"Meet Rihaan, he is my only son, but he has chosen a different path in life. He is a budding author and an artist. He has a huge art gallery here in Banglore and he has published two best selling novels."
"Nice to meet you Mr. Poddar", Rihaan offered a handshake, but something about his demeanor towards Armaan was cold and dissenting.
"And meet Abhira, Rihaan's fiance and my brilliant daughter. The heir of Singhania Associates."
"Indeed, she is brilliant", Armaan said giving a small smile to Abhira.
Rakesh excused himself to accompany his wife to greet other guests.
"It's been long. How are you Abhira?"
"I am good. How are you?"
It was indeed a simple question but Armaan didn't know what to say. To tell her the truth of his miserable life, and the void that her absence has left behind or to lie and tell her he was fine, when there hasn't been a day he has breathed without feeling constant constrictions in his chest.
"I...I am fine too", Armaan fumbled with words. There was a lot more he wanted to say but it was too late and he couldn't cause her the pain of reopening all her wounds that she seemed to have meticulously stitched over the period of time. He nodded at the couple in front of him and left the celebration hall.
Abhira hadn't expected his guilt to be so palpable. She had mostly expected indifference and nonchalance.
"Maybe you should talk to him alone Abhira," Rihaan suggested.
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Armaan knew when Abhira joined him at the bench outside. He quickly wiped his tears and gave her a small smile of acknowledgement.
"He seems to be a nice guy", Armaan probed.
Abhira smiled at that. "He is".
"How did you guys...fall in love?", he asked, knowing well enough her answer would only tighten the knot in his chest.
There was a beautiful shine in her eyes as she reminisced her time with Rihaan. Especially the day he had told her about his feelings. It was the inauguration of his art gallery, he had been so excited for her to see all his paintings. He hadn't left her side even for a second, asking her if his paintings spoke to her, if the myriad strokes on the plethora of canvases told her a story. And he was awestruck by the way she observed every single detail and tried to decipher what they represented.
Flashback:
It was later when he took her to a secluded corner of the gallery, where singularly hung Van Gogh's starry nights. She still remembered every word he has spoken to her, with that incomparable sincerity and softness in his eyes. "You know what this painting means Abhira?" He had asked. He stood behind her and softly whispered, while pointing at the details in the painting,"The oil-on-canvas painting is dominated by a night sky roiling with chromatic blue swirls, a glowing yellow crescent moon, and stars rendered as radiating orbs. One or two cypress trees, often described as flame-like, tower over the foreground to the left, their dark branches curling and swaying to the movement of the sky that they partly obscure. Amid all this animation, a structured village sits in the distance on the lower right of the canvas. Straight controlled lines make up the small cottages and the slender steeple of a church, which rises as a beacon against rolling blue hills. The glowing yellow squares of the houses suggest the welcoming lights of peaceful homes, creating a calm corner amid the painting’s turbulence. Someone once said that this painting represents how even during the times of tremendous pain, there's hope. These dim lights represent presence of God on earth."
Abhira didn't realise when a tear dropped down her cheek. Rihaan gently wiped it and continued to speak, "I see you Abhira, I see the grief in your eyes, the fear that threatens to spill every now and then. And I wonder if I can grow a garden of lavender in your mind, so dense, that the knots in your chest unravel and never tighten again. I see your determination Abhira, and I also see the walls that you build around yourself. I admire your strength but I also wish I could build you a small home and make you feel safe. I know you feel that something within you is irreparably broken but God you give me so much hope. Words...they won't ever be enough to convey the depths of my feelings to you. Words... won't be enough for me to make you believe...that I have fallen for you Abhira, I have taken the leap and I am in love with you. I know you aren't, there's a possibility you won't ever love me back and that's okay, because most of all I will be your friend, I want to stand by you and celebrate you as you heal yourself, and I will wait, as long as you want me to."
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Abhira brought her attention back up present, not realising how there were tears in her eyes again, "l don't really know, how i fell in love with him Armaan. I know that he fell for me way before I did, I know that he patiently waited for me to unravel my fears, one at a time and he has been a constant, standing by my side as I heal myself and I don't know when and how, I started feeling safe around him and that safety eventually moulded into belongingness and then love."
"I am happy for you Abhira. I am glad he is giving you the love and happiness you deserve."
"Spill it Armaan, say what you want to say."
"I...I am sorry Abhira. I failed you, I failed Akshara ma'am. I couldn't fulfill any promises that I made. And I am aware I have hurt you in the worst possible ways, hit you right where it would hurt the most, allowed my family to blame you for mistakes you had played no part in."
"Why now Armaan? Why did it take you five years to apologize?"
"I don't know...perhaps I was too ashamed of myself. I know I am not worthy of your forgiveness Abhira. But I have to tell you...you have meant so much to me. I have learnt so much from you, and I am so grateful for whatever little time I got to spend with you. Time...which could have been longer if it wasn't for my own short sightedness. I have realised my faults Abhira and I am working on them. You deserved so much better than what I have you. Someday, would you have it in your heart, to forgive me?", his voice was barely above a whisper.
"It's been five years Armaan. I have moved on. Maybe you should too. Thank you for being honest with me now, I think a part of me needed this. All the best for your future, I hope you find your happiness too." She got up and started to walk away.
"Abhira, I just have to say...I am proud of you. I...I am genuinely sorry for the pain that I have caused and the way I have made you feel. You never deserved the mistreatment that you were subjected to. And congratulations, on new beginnings...I hope you and Rihaan will have a beautiful life together."
"Thank you Armaan. Take care."
She asked away, one last time. And there he was, waiting for her.
"Are you okay?", Rihaan asked, pulling her into an embrace.
"I am, thank you."
They stayed like that for a while, until Abhira slightly pulled back "I was wondering...maybe we could escape the party now and have another gol gappa competition. And you could lose again and treat me with an ice cream later?"
Rihaan kissed her nose, making her giggle (oh that still gave him butterflies). "Ofcourse we can but this time, you are not winning Vakeel Sahiba."
"Oh we'll see", Abira replied cheekily.
And they walked together, tickling and laughing, holding each other close. Deep down Rihaan was aware Abhira was still healing and so was Abira herself. But they had each other and they had their family. They would be fine.
As Armaan watched Rihaan tickle Abhira, wrapping her in his arms and making her laugh, he only prayed with whatever little faith he could fathom within the depths of his heart, to never let anything or anybody snatch that happiness from Abhira, the way he had. And deep down he also hoped, to find solace and maybe he would but he had a lot of amends to make and with a new found determination, he walked away, hoping somewhere there was another chance awaiting him.
Good to see that he is not downright villainous. It would have been too easy to go down that route. 
hope y write more. 
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