My maid wants relationship advice from MAA - Page 3

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Posted: 8 months ago
#21

Originally posted by: hoshiyaar

Superficial markers like accent, body type and looks are not weakness/ automatic classification under bechari status. That's like telling them to be more ashamed of themselves. Owning who you are and what you are instead of tagging oneself to the bechari status, is the type of thinking people need to have. Shaming is what others decide to think of us and owning it what we decide to think of ourselves otherwise we are shaming ourselves like the others.

I agree that a lot of viewpoint showcases the prejudices we have in our society and therfore more need for exposure to a better style of thinking rather than what the makers of the show are doing. Wahi baasi khichdi of bechari status, fostering the.mindset of labeling oneself as a bechari and feed on the need to have everyone take pity on you. It's pathetic - this show.

And mocking that character's accent, clothes, class, body so much so that one brings up a real woman's alleged divorcée status in an effort to mock how the same fictional character has privileged suitors— on a public forum amongst absolute strangers is empowering real people to not feel bechari and weak, I guess.

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Trollbaaz

Posted: 8 months ago
#22

Do some people seriously not understand what a joke is smiley37 The topic maker could literally be joking about her maid actually her maid may not even exist who knows! Anything to defend Deviji!

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Posted: 8 months ago
#23

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

And mocking that character's accent, clothes, class, body so much so that one brings up a real woman's alleged divorcée status in an effort to mock how the same fictional character has privileged suitors— on a public forum amongst absolute strangers is empowering real people to not feel bechari and weak, I guess.

From what I understand your points are about the opinion of some of the people on this forum. Not that I agree with OPs viewpoint but my discussion is based more on the show and the character Anupamaa. If you expect people to agree with your viewpoint on a public forum, it's just not going to happen. I discuss on public forums without that expectation. We can all at best share ideas and hopefully influence somebody positively .


Criticizing an fictional character or an actual person for their viewpoints and hypocrisy are two very different ideas. It's easier to criticize an fictional character and show, than a real person, that's why empowering and real change can start easier through a tv show, which was the expectation from this show.

Edited by hoshiyaar - 8 months ago
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Posted: 8 months ago
#24

Originally posted by: hoshiyaar

From what I understand your points are about the opinion of some of the people on this forum. Not that I agree with OPs viewpoint but my discussion is based more on the show and the character Anupamaa. If you expect people to agree with your viewpoint on a public forum, it's just not going to happen. I discuss on public forums without that expectation. We can all at best share ideas and hopefully influence somebody positively .

Not disclosing your employee's private details on a public forum is an ethically standard act. This isn't a point of debate.

You haven't responded how mocking any character's body, accent, class, service job empowers the audience into not feeling bechari for having the same markers. Some woman with a thick Gujrati accent must feel so empowered that a bad woman like Upma gets mocked for having the same accent and wearing sweaters.

I swear I have never seen an empowered woman ever wear anything other than a faux leather Prada jacket.

Edited by Blueeeee - 8 months ago
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Posted: 8 months ago
#25

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

Not disclosing your employee's private details on a public forum is an ethically standard act. This isn't a point of debate.

You haven't responded how mocking any character's body, accent, class, service job empowers the audience into not feeling bechari for having the same markers. Some woman with a thick Gujrati accent must feel so empowered that a bad woman like Upma gets mocked for having the same accent and wearing sweaters.

I swear I have never seen an empowered woman ever wear anything other than a faux leather Prada jacket.

Yes that gujrati woman with thick accent must feel empowered even if upma is being mocked for her thick accent. Because that gujrati lady actually loves herself for who she is and owns who she is, her accents, her weirdness or whatever other attributes she has. Empowerment comes from within and when the inner self is so much more powerful than all that external stimuli.

When you can't change the world atleast you can start by changing how you think about your ownself. You don't need others telling you who you are and what you are. You decide for yourself. That mocking of others is just the noise. Can't let it be so loud that it defines who you are and wants you to crawl upto the idea of claiming bechari status.

Unless, ofcourse she is also a self hater who enjoys getting insulted by her haters like anupamaa.

Edited by hoshiyaar - 8 months ago
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Posted: 8 months ago
#26

Originally posted by: hoshiyaar

Yes that gujrati woman with thick accent must feel empowered even if upma is being mocked for her thick accent. Because that gujrati lady actually loves herself for who she is and owns who she is, her accents, her weirdness or whatever other attributes she has. Empowerment comes from within and when the inner self is so much more powerful than all that external stimuli.

When you can't change the world atleast you can start by changing how you think about your ownself. You don't need others telling you who you are and what you are. You decide for yourself. That mocking of others is just the noise. Can't let it be so loud that it defines who you are and wants you to crawl upto the idea of claiming bechari status.

Unless, ofcourse she is also a self hater who enjoys getting insulted by her haters like anupamaa.

When Black women get discriminated in the workplace for their names, skin, hairstyles, we should absolutely not ask people to not make racist jokes but should ask Black women to feel empowered from within when that materially changes nothing in terms of the discrimination they face./s

Saying Anupamaa felt sorry for herself therefore anyone can make mock people's social markers. And those at the recieveing end should love themselves from within makes absolutely zero sense.

Self-love is an act of self-assertion against opression. It doesn't mean mock my community and I will love myself lol.

Edited by Blueeeee - 8 months ago
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Posted: 8 months ago
#27

Originally posted by: Blueeeee

When Black women get discriminated in the workplace for their names, skin, hairstyles, we should absolutely not ask people to not make racist jokes but should ask Black women to feel empowered from within when that materially changes nothing in terms of the discrimination they face./s

Saying Anupamaa felt sorry for herself therefore anyone can make mock people's social markers. And those at the recieveing end should love themselves from within makes absolutely zero sense.

Self-love is an act of self-assertion against opression. It doesn't mean mock my community and I will love myself lol.

are we here making a social commentary on social injustice or just talking about a self hating fictional character anupamaa.

Also would be really insulting to compare those black ladies with a self hating character like anupamaa.

Anupamaa is not out there asserting herself against oppression. She is loving the oppressors.

Edited by hoshiyaar - 8 months ago
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Posted: 8 months ago
#28

A few points from my side:

There was once a time when Anupama had been a strong FL. People had hailed her for her courage. They had laughed and smiled with her. They had cried with her, and for her.

The same, now irritating accent had once emotionally connected the character to viewers. It is now that this is being criticised. I agree, one shouldn't mock anyone's accent, attire, etc., but -

The problem is not the accent, attire or language. The main problem is her own actions. These mannerisms are disliked because they represent Anupama's hypocrisy.

This woman keeps going back to those Shahs regularly inspite of -:

1. Toshu and Pakhi, her own children misbehaving with her and raising a finger to her character. No self respecting lady, mother or otherwise will tolerate this.

2. Had she been in a normal marriage, I don't think anyone would have objected to her interactions with that family post divorce. But having seen what Vanraj has done uptill now (serial cheating, manipulation, gaslighting, attempting to prove her crazy, etc. That is not even the tip of the iceberg!), it makes no sense for her to even be friends with him.

Forgiving those who hurt us is for our own healing, not to enable them in hurting us more.

3. Leela, whom she considers her own mother, didn't think twice before questioning her character multiple times, yet Anupama doesn't draw a line.


So basically, these things keep happening, Anupama says she won't go back, and ultimately she is back there right on the next day. If this isn't hypocrisy, I don't know what is. Vicious cycle!

The mannerisms haven't changed, audience has changed its view. They didn't troll right away. There were suggestions, opinions, reviews, but unfortunately the show stands as it is. We have realised this is not going to change. Thus, the criticism..


As for Anuj, he is not a saint either. He has gone wrong multiple times in multiple ways. It is just that the glaring obviousness of Anupama's blunders kind of overshadows those of Anuj (I haven't even mentioned those that Anupama committed after Anuj's entry, too long of a list, in my opinion.)

It is just a matter of who is more wrong.

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Posted: 8 months ago
#29

Originally posted by: HpTheChosenOne

A few points from my side:

There was once a time when Anupama had been a strong FL. People had hailed her for her courage. They had laughed and smiled with her. They had cried with her, and for her.

The same, now irritating accent had once emotionally connected the character to viewers. It is now that this is being criticised. I agree, one shouldn't mock anyone's accent, attire, etc., but -

The problem is not the accent, attire or language. The main problem is her own actions. These mannerisms are disliked because they represent Anupama's hypocrisy.

This woman keeps going back to those Shahs regularly inspite of -:

1. Toshu and Pakhi, her own children misbehaving with her and raising a finger to her character. No self respecting lady, mother or otherwise will tolerate this.

2. Had she been in a normal marriage, I don't think anyone would have objected to her interactions with that family post divorce. But having seen what Vanraj has done uptill now (serial cheating, manipulation, gaslighting, attempting to prove her crazy, etc. That is not even the tip of the iceberg!), it makes no sense for her to even be friends with him.

Forgiving those who hurt us is for our own healing, not to enable them in hurting us more.

3. Leela, whom she considers her own mother, didn't think twice before questioning her character multiple times, yet Anupama doesn't draw a line.


So basically, these things keep happening, Anupama says she won't go back, and ultimately she is back there right on the next day. If this isn't hypocrisy, I don't know what is. Vicious cycle!

The mannerisms haven't changed, audience has changed its view. They didn't troll right away. There were suggestions, opinions, reviews, but unfortunately the show stands as it is. We have realised this is not going to change. Thus, the criticism..


As for Anuj, he is not a saint either. He has gone wrong multiple times in multiple ways. It is just that the glaring obviousness of Anupama's blunders kind of overshadows those of Anuj (I haven't even mentioned those that Anupama committed after Anuj's entry, too long of a list, in my opinion.)

It is just a matter of who is more wrong.

Actions should be criticised for actions. There is no "but" after "one shouldn't mock anyone's accent, attire, etc." If Upma dressed and spoke like Shruti, she would still be a domestic abuser.

She is happy to see Julie so we will mock her sweaters, English, looks and bring up a supposedly real working class woman to mock how some fictional rich dude can find a fictional woman like her attractive? It's not only casually elitist and sexist but also deeply disrespectful to the OP's alleged domestic worker.

Anyone can build a shrine for Anuj and piss on Upma's fictional grave for all I care but prejudice in any form is wrong and will remain wrong in every context.

Also "maid" is a godawful, disrespectful word and no accent is irritating. These are literally social markers of hierarchies. Social hierarchies are bad.

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Posted: 8 months ago
#30

Originally posted by: hoshiyaar

are we here making a social commentary on social injustice or just talking about a self hating fictional character anupamaa.

Also would be really insulting to compare those black ladies with a self hating character like anupamaa.

Anupamaa is not out there asserting herself against oppression. She is loving the oppressors.

I dunno how to tell you but Upmaa was a teen bride. Teens are kids. She was denied her chance to higher education and growing up around her peers in the safety of university where teens have a safe space to develop a personality, self-expression and self-love. Rather she grew up in an abusive household, gaslighted for twenty-six years. Her husband babytrapped her. She was socially and economically marginalised for 26 years. She was abused for 26 years. That is half a lifetime. And even when discussing fictional characters who internalised so much abuse, educated women who can perfectly pronounce "sorry" like Lizzie Bennet have the audacity to mock her clothes and accent? And then justify it by saying that it's her self-hatred that justifies such elitism. Self-love also is not Vitamin D ki dhoop mein khade ho gaye aur self-love body ne khud produce kar liya while society around you discriminates against you.

Taking the misognoir example, Black women can be bad people, Black women, like everyone else, can have bouts of self-hatred and insecurity. Does not give anyone a right to make racist jokes, rights? Given that a Black woman developed the discourse around self-love, it is oppressive systems which induce self-hatred. Media is part of this social system which is why OscarsSoWhite was even a thing. Popular media has lampooned BIPOC and even Black hair. Condescending people about self-love while systems around them reinforce stereotypes and make their lives actively difficult is privileged af.

You cannot say prejudiced things and then castigate people for self-hatred in the same breath lol. You cannot mock a widely popular character's social markers and then wash your hands off by expecting that real people with those social markers have self-love. That is not how cultural messaging works lol.

Self-love is form of self-assertion in the face of oppression. She wasn't just oppressed by Shahs. Her parents, a patriarchal, elitist society that reduces women to their bodies and suitability for men, lack of public access, even Anuj for slùtshaming her are as much complicit in her oppression as Vanraj and his parents. And her codependency on them still has nothing to do with her accent or clothes.

Self-love is not giving others a free pass to be apathetic people. Self-love or lack thereof does not give others a free pass to be ignorant, prejudiced, classist assholes to you. Being a good person is also not a prerequisite for not being socioeconomically lampooned.

Tl;dr, don't mock anybody's social markers in any context.

Edited by Blueeeee - 8 months ago
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