What makes Anupama a terrible Female lead?? - Page 13

Originally posted by: Harish111

Funny how people believe separation was because of one situation

Both Anuj and CA saw her abandoning CA again and again and again. No one needs to tell Anuj anything, he SAW her abandoning CA many times. So did all the audience. It's not one situation at all, but her entire behaviour during the 3 year marriage.

Accused her of infidelity? What? When did this happen? Kuch bhi.

CA and Anuj wanted undivided attention from Anupama which was impossible as she already has 3 children from her first marriage.In today's episode Ca was complaining that Anu had 3 children from her first relationship ,so she gave least priority to her. But as Ca was the only child of Ak she got immense love from him exclusively for her.

He said "mujhe aisa lagtha hain tumhe mujh se aur meri beti se jyada tumhare ex-pati aur bachon ki chintha hain.kyon nahi bayi,26 saal ka ristha hain.aisa dhodi na khatham ho jatha hain.tum ne tho V se shadi ki dhi,pehla pyaar hain ,teen bacche hain...."When she requested him to stop,he said "nahi nahi aaj tho sun na padega"..

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

In our state, even if a widower's child, boy or girl (man whose wife is no more and hasn't re-married) were to be married, he cannot sit in the marriage functions and they will have to be performed by the next of kin (a still married couple only).

This is true for any Shubhakaarya.

Men and Women are equal partners and men are expected to respect their better half.

Ikr, India is a country with diverse cultures and customs, but all lead on to the same path ultimately.

My dad couldn’t do my Kanyadaan alone, my aunt and her husband did it.
(Although am strictly against this custom and felt really bad, but it is what it is and sometimes we have to abide by it, if our ancestors made some rules which are harmless, then it’s okay to follow them unless there’s a need to bring a change)

And its not like Anupama has done something path breaking by doing Pooja/Hawans with ex husband despite being married again, it’s a sin she has committed actually because she already had a husband.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

Okay!

But what about her doing rituals with Vanraj after divorce? And its not about culture or religion, am sure every culture every State with different customs will have similar set of rules for a divorced couple.

Luckily there r no divorcee in my immediate family. So i am not the right person to give answer.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

I know right, like I said India is a country with diverse cultures and customs, but all lead on to the same path ultimately.

My dad couldn’t do my Kanyadaan alone, my aunt and her husband did it.
(Although am strictly against this custom and felt really bad, but it is what it is and sometimes we have to abide by it, if our ancestors made some rules which are harmless, then it’s okay to follow them)

(Sorry for the gyaan to follow. This is based on my understanding and would be glad to be corrected.)

If it has got to do with the literal translation of the term, be rest assured, it's not that. Infact, it has a very scientific and genetic basis to it.

It has got to do with the acceptance of or stepping into the Gotra (crudely translated as lineage) of the family that the girl would eventually be married to. Since (in non-matrilineal societies) it is believed that the girl would go into the husband's family, they would accept the gotra of the family. This is why, the boy and girl are NOT expected to be from the same Gotra.

And its not like Anupama has done something path breaking by doing Pooja/Hawans with ex husband despite being married again, it’s a sin she has committed actually.

Well, she stayed at Shah House and was "guiding and teaching" Kavya to be a Achchi Bahu, Patni. She literally managed their house and kitchen🤷🏻‍♀️.

Comments inline.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

Ikr, India is a country with diverse cultures and customs, but all lead on to the same path ultimately.

My dad couldn’t do my Kanyadaan alone, my aunt and her husband did it.
(Although am strictly against this custom and felt really bad, but it is what it is and sometimes we have to abide by it, if our ancestors made some rules which are harmless, then it’s okay to follow them unless there’s a need to bring a change)

And its not like Anupama has done something path breaking by doing Pooja/Hawans with ex husband despite being married again, it’s a sin she has committed actually because she already had a husband.

But her husband was doing pooja by sitting with another woman(Maya) .What about that?

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Comments inline.

The gyaan is good to know, thank you for sharing :)

I am aware about the same gotra rule, but was not aware of the basis to it or the background info, always understood that same Gotra means relatives or bhai bandhu.

Good to know the scientific relevance behind it.

And regarding Anupama, she makes her own rules, own customs & rituals, coming generations will follow what she has set, for example celebrating Navratri and dancing, within 15 days of her beloved son’s death.

Originally posted by: Paru...

But her husband was doing pooja by sitting with another woman(Maya) .What about that?

Ofcourse that is wrong too. Anupamaa galat hai iska matlab ye bilkul bhi nahi ki Anuj sahi tha, although its a different story altogether that who brought Maya in their life, who placed a bet, who let CA go away hiding the truth, but Anuj doing rituals with her was equally wrong.

But just imagine if Maya was not into picture, Anupamaa would have still done the rituals with Vanraj, just like she did at the time of Pari’s birth when Anuj was bedridden. She has always done it, kabhi Dadi bankar kabhi Maa ke excuse se.

Originally posted by: Dee-Dee

The gyaan is good to know, thank you for sharing :)

I am aware about the same gotra rule, but was not aware of the basis to it or the background info, always understood that same Gotra means relatives or bhai bandhu.

Good to know the scientific relevance behind it.

And regarding Anupama, she makes her own rules, own customs & rituals, coming generations will follow what she has set, for example celebrating Navratri and dancing, within 15 days of her beloved son’s death.

Exactly what I have been asking how come No one has raised this against the makers? These misrepresentation of rituals and culture and divine parlance really has to STOP.

Originally posted by: Paru...

But her husband was doing pooja by sitting with another woman(Maya) .What about that?

People will always react to the thing which happened FIRST. If someone slaps another person 10 times and then the second person slaps him once, no one will blame the second person.

Anupama emotionally cheated and abandoned Anuj FIRST, whatever Anuj did later was a REACTION. People will not blame Anuj as much as its a common, emotional reaction of a husband who feels neglected. (He will still get blamed but not as much as Anupama).

In real life if a wife neglects husband, he will most likely cheat on her (and not just sit in pooja but actual cheat on her).

You have to understand what cause and effect means and which came FIRST and why Anuj gets less blame.

Ma'am aap to itna anupama ko defend kar rahe , maaya ko Ghar mein laaya kaun Anupama, maaya ko apni maaya dekhne ka mauka kisne Diya Anupama , ha Anuj galat tha vaha or shruti ke track mein bhi vo galat hai lekin pointing finger at Anuj won't prove anupama saint coz 3 fingers will still point towards anupama.

Or ye kya hai Anuj or CA wanted undivided attention, Anuj apni wife se or CA apni maa se undivided attention ki umeed hi rakenge to kya kavya se rakhenge ? Anupama duniya ki pehli divorcee hai jiske 3 bacche hai or usse Ghar Ghar khelna vanraj ke saath coz bacho ke liye jo uski

Have you seen yeh hai mohabbatein even Raman was divorcee who was madly in love with shagun even had 2 kids with her but once he divorced her he never really wanted to play play Ghar Ghar with shagun infact Aditya & ruhi both were kids , Raman was loud , aggressive but he always respected his marriage with Ishita he never 2 timed Ishita with shagun , vo to Ishita se initially pyar bhi nhi karta tha but still he was loyal to his marriage .

Anupama loves to play masiha for shah family, had she adopted vanraj also as her kid .

I doubt u r married varna u would be knowing what r d 7 vows of marriage which she only fulfilled with vanraj but never with Anuj, u would definitely not be saying Anuj wanted full time wife , ye uska haq hai, even aapki anupama devi supported his claim , she even told vanraj that Anuj has d major right on her ab shayad anupama devi bhi galat hai, vaise last argument mein bhi she supported Anuj this claim , can u please tell why kanta Ben don't support anupama, even she has called out this .

I guess u forgot kanta Ben asked anupama devi to prioritise Anuj but she turned deaf ear.