Part
12 - Life Is But A Dream
Little
Zoya and Zeenat were laughing at something Zoya said as they lay there on their
bed, Zoya was laughing but Zeenat's attention was somewhere else.
"Aapi
you know today Asad and I went to the lake, it is so hugeee." Little
four-year-old Zoya stretched on the word "huge" and used excessive hand
gestures to emphasise her point. Zeenat nodded still looking out of the door.
"And
aapi I pushed Asad in the lake." Zoya laughed again. Zeenat looked down at her,
"Is
that why he was drenched today?" Zeenat asked in an admonishing tone which
halted Zoya's laughter right away.
"Yes
aapi, was I wrong? Should I go apovoguze?" Zoya looked down.
"Apologize!
Yes baby you should apologize what if he had drowned?" Zeenat corrected both
her behaviour and her pronunciation.
"But
aapi Asad knows vuimming." Zoya pouted.
"Doesn't
matter if he knows swimming. You'll go and say sorry to him tomorrow and
promise to never do that again? Okay angel?" Zeenat flicked a finger playfully
on her nose, Zoya scrunched her nose when she did that and both laughed at her
cute expression. Just then they heard the loud bang of the front door being closed,
Zoya moved closer to Zeenat in fear and hugged her from around her waist,
burying her face in her chest. Zeenat wrapped a protective hand around her and
pulled her closer, covering her with the warm blanket and closing her eyes with
her hand.
"Is
it abbu? Abbu is home?" Zoya asked in a timid voice. Zeenat didn't say anything
she simply stared out of the door. They could hear the footsteps as the person
climbed the stairs and they could hear the squeaking noise of the door being
opened. Once they heard the door of the adjacent room shut Zeenat turned to
look at Zoya and pushed her hair back lovingly.
"Yes
Zoya it's abbu. Abbu is home." She whispered the last line with a heavy sigh
and looked outside.
"Zoya
it's pretty late, why don't you go to sleep sweetie?"
"But
aapi ammi hasn't come yet to sing poems for me." Zoya held her appi's hand.
Zeenat looked down at her and smiled.
"Ok
how about I sing you those poems that ammi sings for you? Then you will go to
sleep?"
Zoya
was all too eager to hear her poems and nodded enthusiastically, Zeenat opened
her mouth to sing one of the nursery rhymes when they heard shouts from the
adjacent room.
"You
never have money when I ask you so where do you get money for all this booze."
They heard the shrill voice of a lady, their mother.
"You
dare to question me? Stop interfering in my life." The man, their father
shouted and they could hear the crash of a chair; he had probably pushed their
mother into it.
"I
will interfere I'm your wife and please lower your voice the girls are
sleeping."
"So
what do I do if they are sleeping, they are nothing but nuisance, always
getting on my nerves and destroying my peace. And you woman, listen to me very
carefully you may be my wife but I did not give you the right to raise your
voice against me. Remember this or else the consequences will be bad." He
warned menacingly.
"Are
ammi and abbu fighting?" Zoya asked innocently, clueless.
Zeenat's
eyes softened and she shook her head caressing Zoya's silky smooth tresses.
"No
my angel they are just talking, they are talking loudly."
Zoya
shook her head and tried to get up but Zeenat pushed her back down.
"Aapi
I'm scared I want to go to phupi, I want to go to Asad."
"Zoya
it's too late, not now. Asad must have slept too." Zeenat hushed her when they
again heard voices from their parent's room.
"The
consequences are already bad so I guess I'll take my chances. And how can you
speak like that about your own flesh and blood. They are your children too.
They are your responsibility too; I know you don't go to work where the hell do
you stay all day long. I need answers today Gafur, I'm not keeping quiet unless
I get them." Zainab, their mother yelled back. They heard the anguished cry of
their mother as Gafur pulled her by her hair.
"Didn't
I warn you not to question me? It's my life I'll stay wherever I want. Just
leave me alone." He slurred a bit, indicating he had been drinking yet again.
"No,
I will not leave you alone with your alcohol and your concubines." Zainab
shouted which enraged him and he smacked her hard making her stumble backward
due to the force. She clutched her cheeks and cried silently as tears flew down
her swollen cheek. Gafur pulled her up by her arm and threw her out of the room
closing the door shut on her face.
She stood there crying, holding on to the
railing for support. Zeenat immediately covered Zoya with the blanket and asked
her to close her eyes. She went outside and got Zainab inside making her sit on
the bed while she got the first aid to attend to the cut near her lips. Zainab
brushed her off, wiped her face and lay on the bed beside Zoya. She got inside
the duvet with her and patted the side of the bed beside Zoya, indicating
Zeenat to lay with them. She put a protective arm around her beautiful girls
and kissed their forehead.
"Ammi sing that poem for me."
"Which
one, love?" Zainab traced her finger on her soft, chubby cheeks.
"The
dreamy dreamy one." She said rolling her fingers and knotting them together.
"Row,
row, row, your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
Row,
row, row, your boat,
Try to go to sleep,
Go to bed and close your eyes,
Cuz life is but a dream."
Zoya woke up
breathing heavily, her heart was beating so fast that she could hear the sound
of her beating heart in her ear. She was crying and she didn't know that until
she wiped her face and felt something wet. It was not a dream, it was a memory,
a memory she remembered very vividly. They say as children grow their childhood
memories become hazy until the memories are completely lost as they pass
through a stage of amnesia, not being able to recall any of the incidence that
may have happened when they were small but Zoya remembered each and every major
incident of her past clearly, so clearly that her dreams felt like she was living
the memory instead of simply recalling them. She stood up and looked around the
room in a daze. She was disorientated and confused, she couldn't think straight
and she walked out of bed stumbling as her leg entangled with the duvet. It
took her a little long to realize where she was. She was never the nyctophobic
one but today she felt like that. Darkness scared her and she was too scared to
switch on the lights. With fumbling, faltering steps she reached the door and
twisted the knob in a haste to get out. She just wanted some fresh air and
maybe, water, but her feet carried her elsewhere. She found herself outside
Asad's room. She opened the door to see nothing but darkness. It was
intimidating her, she felt suffocated, she let out a cry and called out Asad's
name. Asad stirred in his sleep but he did not wake up, when Zoya did not see
any movement she rushed toward the bed snivelling deplorably and got on the
bed, wrapping her arms around Asad. Asad woke up at the sudden movement; he
felt a soft body against his and immediately switched on the bedside lamp. The once
dark room was illuminated with light and Zoya felt safe, just a little but her
sobs didn't stop.
"Zoya are you ok?"
Asad took her in his arms and buried her head in the crook of his neck. In
between patting her head and caressing her back he kissed her hair once or
twice, whispering sweet nothings in her ear in order to calm her and soothe her
and maybe it worked. Zoya was now visibly less shaken, she sniffled and
hiccupped as she clutched at the collar of his kurta.
"Zoya what
happened?" he whispered again as if talking to a small child. Zoya disentangled
herself from and tried to speak something but nothing came out of her mouth
except for,
"Ammi!" she
sobbed again and Asad knew what was bothering her. He cupped her face in his
big hands and made her look at him. He flicked the tears away with his thumb
pads and said,
"Zoya, look at
me! Everything is alright, ok? You are here with me, please don't cry." He rested
his head on hers and ran his hand through her hair, massaging her scalp.
"It's so dark Asad."
Her voice was hoarse due to the crying and she didn't bother clearing her
throat.
"The lights are
on Zoya, you can keep them on and then try to sleep."
"No it'll come back."
she hugged him, pulling him closer.
"What will come
back?"
"Memories! They
haunt me and suffocate me. I don't want to see them they are scary. Don't leave
me please I'm afraid of those visions." Her voice cracked a bit.
"Ok, ok Zoya I'm
not going anywhere but you should sleep, it's too late and you must be tired,
right? C'mon try to sleep, I'm right here beside you, I'm not going anywhere."
He laid her down on the bed and lay beside her, putting his hand around her
waist in order to pull her into him. Once she felt herself surrounded by the
sweet smell which was distinctively Asad's she felt her eyes droop; she
clutched his arm to ensure he doesn't walk away and finally fell into a deep
slumber. The event of the day and her nightmare had exhausted her and drained
all her energy. Asad stayed awake for quite some time thinking about Zoya's
condition, he had been right, she had obviously not gotten over her troubled
past and it was quiet evident the events of her past still haunted her. He had
to talk to her, if only she was ready to talk. He was saying the truth, he was
going to be right here by her side, he was not going to go anywhere and he was
going to be there when she would be ready to talk and let go off her past, to
cut off the strings that held her bound. He would be there to help her break
free. He looked down at her face and he could see the traces of tears. He wiped
her face with his long fingers letting them linger longer than necessary. He kissed
her forehead one last time before drifting off to sleep himself.
XXX
A/N - Well that
was a sneak peak at Zoya's past! What do you think? How was it? Please comment
guys it's really disheartening to see such low comments. It depresses me and
what depresses me doesn't encourage me to write! So you get the gist, comments
= better updates! Please leave me some love!
Love,
Sadie!😃
Edited by --starstruck-- - 10 years ago
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