ArHi OS: Biting Dust*Reposted*

lazyleaves thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago


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Rasgulla_sp thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
r

Edited:

Since I have already read it I can safely say THIS IS YOUR MASTERPIECE.

Edited to add:

Choti this OS is poetic and also delivers poetic justice.

All that crap he told her in the past he is ready to take back. He is ready to bow down before the One he didn't even believe existed. Arnav Singh Raizada is reduced to a common man. Just a speck in the whole wide Universe, insignificant, nothing before the Higher Powers.

Khushi on the other hand is always the fighter, lives for others happiness but the one person she looked up for happiness always insulted her. No wonder she is lying on the bed slipping out...

And the Shehr-e-Zaat scene is an ingenious addition to this OS Perfect way to make him bite dust.
Edited by Rasgulla_sp - 11 years ago
SamiyaIPKKND thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
Zehra!!

What was that!!!

It was Awe-striking👏

You know very well I don't like sad endings so I'm going to assume khushi came back from coma and Arnav fainted

They lived happily ever after😃

so now coming back to the OS

I love how you used the dialogues here

Arnav had to eat up all the sentences he said to Khushi

You made Arnav's grief so real it felt as if I was loosing someone close [tauba tauba]

I waited up to 2:49 AM just to read this and I'm not at all disappointed

hats off to you Lazy... loved it


Edited by SamiyaIPKKND - 11 years ago
farah53 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I saw each & every dialogue you used here flashing before my eyes..

That's essentially been the problem, ZZ..Everytime Arnav hurt her..
>>That time after he wants to buy the dress for Khushi as a Tip..& afterwards while denying that he wasn't taking out his anger with Khushi on La, how he shouted, "You don't even exist for me"..
>>The Diwali, "Didn't mean a thing"..
>>The bandagement "Jiss din aapko yeh baat pata chalegi uss din hum yeh dekhne ke liye yaha nahi honge"

It all promised us of a time when Arnav would say, "My world doesn't exist without you", "Nothing means anything without you", "I don't even wanna know anything if you're not there"..& this is what we were promised & later cheated out of..Saale 4liars..

Coming to the OS:
All the talks of 'aukad' & 'sasti cheez' just brought the intensity so effectively into the story. & that train hanging off from over the pool & then falling off.I literally saw that through my eyes, thanks to your imagery.. But did you have to??The life support was not only for Khushi..It was for Arnav too..

& loved the touch you brought by bringing Arnav to Devi Maiyya's feet, but when it's too late for Khushi to see..It made the bandagement wala dialogue all the more potent. & the mitti wala scene reminded me of how Arnav cried in the pre-wedding epi..

I majorly loved this OS because it depicted how it should have been..How Arnav's redemption should have been..& how like in your OS, it's just too late for all that...
Edited by farah53 - 11 years ago
.x-bumblebee-x. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
res..

Erm.. one thing.. was I supposed to cry? Because I'm streaming tears
As I'm typing Lool.. you could have warned me.. I don't like going to sleep crying haha..

Superbly written.. the pain was beautifully portrayed ..
And all the dialogues brings back memories of what our show used to be.. 😳 👏 Edited by .._sonii_.. - 11 years ago
asrcraze thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Zehra I read this one immediately after you posted... You were very eager about this and I knew it was going to be a master piece...
I'm sorry for commenting so late though...It wasn't intentional !

I am normally a very emotional person and this made me cry while I read it...😭 Yes, I did.

All those dialogues...I could remember every dialogue and the way he said it ! How it will hurt when you direct them at some one... She endured it all and still managed to fall in love with himm... 

That's the IPK we all fell in love with...

He never got around to repent for it ! She forgave him for everything so easily...

Now she's in the hospital fighting for life...He's heartbroken...I'm not saying this for the heck of it, but it was depicted just so beautifully ...His pain !

The OS was heartbreaking !

I loved it !

I know Khushi will make it, Just tell me Arnav didn't die...please ?😭
Edited by asrcraze - 11 years ago
KC294 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
i loved the title cant wait to read the os
-Muskii- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
That was too emotional
Fab OS!
Edited by Muskaan.Musky - 11 years ago
ipkknd-fan thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Res :)
--edited--
Great OS made very emotional Edited by ipkknd-fan - 11 years ago
mirka88 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
res-  :-)


First of all Z, Thank you...thank you for bringing back the old show..

I don't even recognize the cr*pfest they are calling IPKKND these days..

and then they say they have no story left...

This is what we wanted to see...Arnav coming a full circle...taking back each and every word he said, pay for every single thing he did, and at the end forgiveness and a promise of happiness would be waiting and justice would be delivered.

Instead a tangent to the circle is drawn. 

anyway, this is about your awesome, awesome piece, not the show. The dialogues you've used are all my favourites, especially the 'khuddari' one. Each befitting the scene that you chose to show. I am usually upset with sad stories, but somehow this one convinced me that with the kind of story building this end is but inevitable. Yet, you weave the story so vividly that we're always left with a lump in our throats, Arnav's pain in this one is so palpable. So intense, so beautiful! 
Edited by mirka88 - 11 years ago