Hello Hi and Shubh Shanivar to all forumwasis, new and oldđ
This is something that I had written way back when episode #46 first aired in August 2011. Re-watching it last night, in full HD glory on big screen, brought back memories, so reworked it a bit and decided to share it with you all once again. It is a bit longđł, but hopefully you will enjoy.
Laad Govennar's Khushi
Her earliest memory had been of cowering in the corner of a room...a room teeming with people, all talking at the top of their voices, ... she had bent her little head and covered her ears...but the noise hadn't stopped...and just when she had started to scream herself, she had felt a gentle hand on her head ...and had looked up to a smiling, kindly face...she had then been wordlessly picked up, sat down on firm, wide shoulders and carried her away from the melee...Babuji...her Babuji...who had carried her out of the night and into the sun...and to a house that had Amma and another sweet-faced girl in pigtails and a flowery frock...her Jiji...
There had been other, stern looking women too in the house...who had made her cry all over again...
"Khushi, tum ro mat...dekho maharaj ji ne jalebi banayee hai...tumko jalebi pasand hain?"
Those mush-filled, orange squigglies had tasted very sweet...and she had liked them so much that she had forgotten to cry. They had later told her that it had been her eighth birthday.
"Babuji, aaj phir school mein us Tilak ne humari choti kheenchi aur humein rolaya...woh chilla raha tha ki hum aapki beti nahin hain."
"Arrey, us Baniye ke bete ki yeh himmat?...chalo abhi hum uske baap se baat karke aate hain'."
"Khushi, tum poori baat kyun nahin bataati?...tumne bhi to uske baad ussey kaise dauda dauda kar maara tha?...Babuji...aap to uske ghar bilkul nahin jaayeega...ulta aapko hi sunna padega..."
"Kya Jiji...tum bhi na..." and they had burst out laughing.
"Jab tak Devi Mayya ki kripa hai, humari bitiya ko koi dukh nahin pahuncha sakta...Khushi Bitiya, humesha sach ka saath do aur duniya mein kisi se bhi na daro...Devi Mayya raksha karengi'"
She had always known that she was different from other children and that some people would always hurt her with their words...but she had made her peace with it...and had always focussed on the incredible love that her Amma, Babuji and Jiji had given her all these years. If anything, this love had engendered an indomitable fighting spirit in her...she felt she could take on the world, with her family and Devi Mayya beside her.
She gazed at the serene, benign, beautiful image in front of her...she had bought that idol from Chowk bazaar with her own savings, when she was twelve. In the intervening years, it had lost some of the golden sheen of the sari border, and gained quite a few scratches, but to her, it was the same kindly face that always smiled back , no matter the greviousness of her confession. With her Jiji, she shared all her secrets but the most wicked ones...those were reserved for Devi Mayya...for she knew that Mayya would understand and give her a suitable punishment...like running into Arnav Singh Raizada again and again...she flinched physically at the thought and jerked around to look at sleeping Payal, making sure her loud intake of breath had not wakened her. Turning back around, she bend her head to the table and closed her eyes...suddenly jerking them wide open again. Those chiselled features and blazing eyes assailed her with an intensity that made her forget breathing... Why did his words have such power to hurt?
Tumne socha !! Tumhari kuch sochne ki haisiyat nahi hai.
..auqat jaante huye bhi main yeh contract...tum jaisi ladkiyan...
...kisi ameer ladke ko phansa nahin paayeen...taaki baar baar tumhari shakal dekh kar
From the time she had first met him, she had been afraid ...she had feared for her sanity, for her well-being... it was only because of Devi Mayya and her Babuji's words, that she had even had the strength to stare back at him, to give back as good as she got...to challenge his atrociously arrogant and foolish statements...who in the world questioned Bhagwan????...his words and actions wounded her...deeply...more than they should have...and then he had saved her...carried her in his arms... and his touch had set her heart racing and pulse pounding ... ...something had changed between them...the cold scorn in his eyes had been replaced with something else...she didn't know what...Concern? Remorse? Anger? Helplessness?
Why did she feel the need to see something else for her in his eyes..? Surely that was impossible...? He was the Laad Govenner...her Laad Govenner, a small voice whispered...no, that could not be...he hated her with a passion...then why was he holding a glass of water against her lips when she came to in the mandir,the voice returned...why did her heart squeeze painfully at the sight of that shrew in white, hugging him?
Why didn't he defend himself when she hurled all those accusations at his head in his house that day? Did that mean he had really sent her to die in that death hole...but he had come to rescue her...so why didn't he say a word? Why didn't he stop her tirade? It had to mean just one thing...he couldn't be bothered...she really was just a lowly office worker in his eyes...nothing more...why did that hurt so much?
She had never had such a reaction to any man ...up until now she knew only two kind of men...one like her Babuji and scores of Uncles, who were sent to this world to pamper her and in turn, be pampered by her. The other kind were like her childhood school mate Tilak...made to be beaten, bullied and brushed aside.
She had gone to the office to retrieve her Devi Mayya. Why were his eyes pinning her down, making it impossible for her to look away...she owed him nothing...she was not obliged to listen to anything he wanted to say...was she?..."You are afraid that he will accuse you of trying to ensnare him again...that is why you are not letting him speak...you know that will break your heart...whatever remains of it anyway..."-the little voice returned.
Why was he so angry?? His eyes were spitting fire...did she see hurt in them today? No, that could not be...he was just mad at her because she wouldn't let him speak...did he have to stand so close and yell ...and then go silent all of a sudden?...She couldn't breathe..She had to get out of there...
Why did she think of him all the time...she was done with him...once and for all...she had made the decision...she would go back to Lucknow...back into the loving arms of Babuji and Amma...forget she had even met him ever...forget this city, this man...this was the right decision to take...Buaji was sad, but Shyamji would support her...yes, she needed to be as far away as possible from him...everything would be alright once she reached Lucknow...everything would be back to as it ever was ...normal.
Why didn't he stop her when announced that she getting out of his life for ever and ever?? Why was she crying?...
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiATbrKOzfk[/YOUTUBE]
Bengali Shows
Hindi TV Shows
Book Talk
311