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Fatima

@Fatima_Q

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: UMDU
Fathimaji Thank you so much for taking time and giving detailed inputs on the subject. I am not for a second excusing Bhabo for her tantrums and going over board about things. I also know that hearts of hearts Bhabo knows Sandhya is a gem and Meena is in no way comparable to her.She may not admit it openly due to her ego but her reprimand of Meena in yesterday's episode is a proof enough. The purpose of my post is to see the other side of the coin. We are not debating right or wrong here what we are looking at is the ideal mother in law and the real mother in laws in a rural setting. We all want Bhabo to be understanding.We want her to give in to her son's wish but in reality life does not work like that. My thread only tried to show the real India which exists in small towns and villages. The line between idealism and reality is extremely frustrating but true.

I agree...the realities are very harsh out there.

And although some may call it emotional blackmailing...there was so much truth in the talk Bhabo gave to Sandhya...very realistic...very much in synch with the culture and society at large.

That's why I feel Suraj is the right person to bring about change in Bhabo's thinking.

In fact...if it's a male dominated society that we live in and we have people like Bhabo, who are fair but unwavering in their beliefs...and as a result...keep women from advancing...then it is the men who will have to take the initiative and uplift the condition of women.

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

Deebz

Thank you so much for your inputs. I am not for a second justifying what Bhabo does to the family. You are confusing the issue. I have only tried to draw a clear line between reality and idealism. What Bhabo does to her daughter in laws is what half the Indian D.I.Ls go through as about 60% of our population lives in villages and in a joint family setup which is the predominant form of society, this kind of mental and physical tortures are very common. You cannot wish away what exists in reality. So what do you do? You have to use coersive methods to get around as Suraj is doing. If you give her time Bhabo will come around and that will be seen to be happening. Do not forget that Sandhya who is educated and modern in thinking has accepted this suppression voluntarily. Why? She was given the choice to walk out by her friend first and brother afterwards. They promised to help her fulfill her dreams. She did not love Suraj than. Why did she not call it quits. What was the need for her to compromise and stay and bear the oppression. Why did she not pursue her dreams than with vigour and passion and full freedom ? I am not saying Sandhya is wrong. What I am pointing out is it is very very difficult to break away from a traditional setup and a free thinking woman like Sandhya could also not do it. If you want to remain within the system and fight for your rights it can hardly happen overnight. Mindset change can take centuries.My post was an attempt to make you all aware that there is a difference between idealism which we all aspire for and reality which we are compelled to accept.

Edited by UMDU - 13 years ago

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

I'm the first one to join you in defense of Bhabho.👍🏼.

IPS Sandhya Rathi = Sooraj + Bhabho. (Equally support n strength of two persons Sandhya required in order to fulfill her journey of IPS..)

Bhabho will provide motherly love n strengthen her from the roots.

Sooraj will provide her unconditional support as a Mitra/Friend.

[/QUOTE)

Thank you so much Ami for your kind support.

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: udnis
ma ji another thinking post of u...

i am angry on bhabo wt she doing is not fair...but knw that she needs some times to understand it and move her mind set from narrow to broad...then only she will accept to fullfill sandy's dream...

and u forgot onething.first sandy only decided to become police officer not by his father's wishes...later on;y her parents supported her dreams and considered as their own dream for her daughter...

see u in next thinking and valuabe post of u ma ji...

thank u...

Thank you beta for your encouraging words. Please see the 12th october episode where Sandhya's father says that you have to get into the dirt to clean it and than Sandhya says ache police officer banke dikhaogi that is the idea is already there in her mind otherwise she would have said main ek police officer banana chahti hoon.

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: Juna04
UMDU I appreciate your thought provoking post once again.

I have to agree with Udnis that Sandhya's parents recognised the talent in Sandhya earlier on and gave encouragement and nurtured that talent in her.
A 10-11 yr old girl declared one day that she wanted to become a Police officer of her own and was not forced to think like that...

But I do agree that from Bhabho's point of view and from where she comes from her reaction is very realistic and understandable.
Sooraj is mature enough to understand her and he even said it in the epi today to Ankur that this sort of idea is new and revolutionary to his family and esp to Bhabho and she will take some time to get used to or even accept such an idea.

What I really liked in today's epi was the way Bhabho sent Meena away ... she knew what Meena was trying to do and was in no mood to listen to her nonsense trying to influence Bhabho.

This proves that Bhabho is not so dumb and knows every person in the house quite well and she really is a good person at heart. In her talk to Sandhya she talked about how Sandhya worked at fitting into the ways of her family and this proves that she will not do anything to disturb the peace in the house.
Even though she was using EB (emotional blackmail) what she said was true about Sandhya.

So yes coming back to your post I have to agree that Bhabho has her own valid reasons for objecting at least for now.

Thank you for your inputs. Please see 12th October telecast and you will see Sandhya's father advising her that to clean dirt you have to get into it. Sandhya replies Ek ache police officer ban ke dikhaogi not Main ek police officer banana chahate hoon meaning the idea was already there in her mind when she said it. Whether it was her own or indoctrinated I cannot say but even in that letter she says papa ka sapna tha not mera sapna tha. So through several instances it is repeatedly hammered that she wants to fulfill her father's dream. My post was not to say that Bhabo is the nicest person on earth. I only wanted you to look at reality as it exists in India and the way to get around it is through patience and not bashing.

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ASHERI

@ASHERI

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Great post👍🏼

While we all were taunting babhoo,u did a great job..Hats off for you...

May be it's bcz of our passion for SURYA...that's why we never wanted to think what babhho thinks..or what she feels..

You're right we must give some time for her to understand...

Thanks UMDU for reminding us that every coin has its two sides...

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: ashne
UMDU, Lovely post👏. I would say hats off to the writers for not changing Bhaboo in an episode's time. They have stuck with her character and I'm sure by the end of the serial she will change. If she had accepted Suraj's proposal, she wouldn't be the Bhabho we all know.

Thank you so much Ashne for your kind words of encouragement. I am also positive Bhabo will change.

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UMDU

@UMDU

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: Buddhinie
Great post👍🏼
While we all were taunting babhoo,u did a great job..Hats off for you...
May be it's bcz of our passion for SURYA...that's why we never wanted to think what babhho thinks..or what she feels..
You're right we must give some time for her to understand...
Thanks UMDU for reminding us that every coin has its two sides...

Thank you Buddhinie for your kind words of encouragement. Yes it is important to view both sides of the coin.

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Bharathi

@b2011

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

@Umdu: Valid points. Most of us were not simply bashing Bhabho, we do understand the reasons for her behavior but her double standards upsets us. Children should fulfill the dreams of their parents but it is not for daughter-in-laws. She admonishes Chavvi, Mohit to respect Suraj for what he has done for them but she always ends up insulting him in front of the family so a honest, loving, caring son Suraj is being humiliated and the opposite dishonest, selfish, hoarding son Vikram advises Suraj to not listen to his wife.

@Fatima: A well-written post. The only thing that would change Bhabho's views is "What she may have wished for may not be what her son wants."

@Deebz: Like these lines much - Bhabo got a brave, noble, educated,intelligent, loving, honest, caring, respectful and beautiful bride for her halwai son. Yes, she desired only crystal and she got a diamond.

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Shirin

@-Ayeshi-

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

I am little mad at her only because of her hypocrisy...!!! What she believed 4 her DILs... She doesn't apply 4 herself...!!! And if she would admit to make Sandy an IPS then where the tadka of the story were gonna come from??? U defended bhabo so well...!!! 👏Hopefully she will learn to adapt... Just needs little time 4 that...!!!😳 And believe me the way bhabo reacted after knowing Sandy's truth about her education...!!! Well I find her way to better now...!!! The same person can not be changed overnight...!!!

And I am more mad at Ankur n babasa...!!! Ankur is kinda pushing Suraj 4 fulfilling Sandy's dream...!!! Selfish...!!! And babasa...!!! If one man is not earning n couldn't help his family financially doesn't mean he has to be silent always...!!! 😡 Its kind of his nature to accept defeat always...!!!

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