Posted:
Please refrain from bashing actors and/or character of this show. Thank you. Now, the following statements are quoted from Facebook, but I've left out the names.
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"I am coming, jaan, for you."
"Viraj is perfect. Jahnvi doesn't deserve him."
"I want his jaan to return to him..."
"Viraj is a hero..."
Confused? Those FB comments all have one thing in common - they were stated by men. Now, why is this bothersome? What's it to you and me? If some dude out there admires a character like Viraj Dobriyal, imitates him in awe, then what's the harm?
Well, the harm isn't that a character is liked, hero or villain. The harm isn't that men relate to Viraj Dobriyal. The harm is when they identify themselves with an abusive character. It is when they put him on a pedestal, worshipping his every character trait and action, not using their own intellect to distinguish between right and wrong.
The harm is when a man watching this show thinks that Jahnvi is, and I quote, "a witch for leaving" her abusive/rapist husband. It's when they condemn a victim for trying to sustain her self-respect, survive, and instead admire/support her abuser.
It's something that has disturbed me for quite a while now, and as a woman -- no, not as a woman, but as a human being, I cannot fathom this admiration for Viraj Dobriyal. It makes me wonder what kind of mentalities absorb this show and its characters.
Men who are abusers themselves? Men who have been tipping on the balance between "should I or shouldn't I pound my wife into submission", or maybe tipping on the balance between sadistic pleasure and morality -- and upon watching Viraj, the sympathy that the writers attempt to awaken toward him, they reach the conclusion that indeed, indeed it's alright to do what he did because, in the end, he loves his wife and even God led him to Jahnvi, which can only mean one thing...?
What makes a character grey?
I'll tell you what makes a character black. Rape, domestic violence, murder -- and severe lack of remorse for all of it. Now, attempting to give a black character shades can be one out of many dangerous things on a TV show that airs across the world. Statements such as "Jahnvi doesn't deserve Viraj" are a result of something being wrong in the way that a message has been presented, or the lack of a message entirely.
What kind of mentality is behind such a statement, I wonder.
It brings chills down my spine.
Men watch this show. It's a fact. Men admire Viraj. It's a fact. Men identify with him. That's another fact. Men take that identification one step further -- they worship him [through that themselves]. Tell me this isn't wrong?
Tell me that making Viraj someone to sympathize with won't send out a wrong message to hundreds of men who already feel that Viraj is perfect. Because awakening sympathy opens the door to potential change, and potential change opens the door to supporters of Viraj pressing the issue that Jahnvi should scrap her self-respect and survival and return to him. It doesn't matter that he forced her feet into boiling water, beat her black and blue, raped her, made her miscarry, committed emotional torture and whatnot. It doesn't matter because suddenly he can change... Just like that. Just like he could change when Rana put her faith in him only to realize that he'd played her. When Geeta put her faith in him. When Jahnvi put her faith in him. And if someone like Viraj can change, all of a sudden -- then all of those victims sitting at home, watching, should stay where they are because a day might come when their husbands might suddenly decide to change too, right? You know, miracles do happen.
No. No, this is one miracle no woman should wait for.
The writers created a man that other men could relate to and identify themselves with -- but instead of having men reflect over Viraj's actions, instead of having them reflect over the wrongness his character, instead of giving out the message that [if you can identify yourself with Viraj] something's wrong and you should reflect over yourself -- they do the opposite. They create sympathy, empathy for his character in people whose mentality is already a bit twisted if based on their statements...
The writers show them a lie. That Viraj's actions are justified and with Jahnvi's support, oh, he'll be reformed.
Even if the writers made this happen, it'd be a lie. Because Viraj's character is not built for redemption. He's crossed one too many lines and he lacks a conscience. The latter being something that presupposes remorse.
Conclusion...
All of those men out there who look down on Jahnvi, who worship Viraj, admire him -- it's not right, is it? Something's wrong about it. Shouldn't the writers make certain that those men reflect over Viraj's actions in the right way and distinguish between right and wrong? Shouldn't they make sure that they're shown "you can like the character from an artistic angle, but please do not support his kind of abusive men"?
What are the writers doing? What's the message?
It disturbs me to know that somewhere someone watches the show every night, thinking that he wants to be like Viraj. Relate to Viraj, do not identify yourselves with him. Reflect over his actions, do not adopt them or worship them. That should be the message, right?
Or maybe I'm wrong... Maybe his disorder is the root of it all and thus we should all just give him a tenth chance to reform, have his jaan back. She'll get over the rape, violence, all of it. Time heals, right? She should return, reform him, treat him with her love and care and a few dozen doctors, and then one day... POOF. Happily ever after. The men will get their kick through their god Viraj having his goddess back, and the victims will learn a very valuable lesson that they should just stick it out, because one day they might experience a POOF too.
Guess VD is my hero too now.
But I had to cast light on this issue. It was important to me. I'll look forward to your post, hun.
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