Tere pyaar mein kya kya naa bana ASR, Kabhi Mechanic kabhi Engineer'
Hello dearies,
Today, I had decided not to write anything until my posts were opened or I get an explanation. . However, after my friends' requests and overwhelming support to post my writing again I decided to be cheap and post my writing. So here's me again after another mind numbing, heart thumping, body tingling episode. Here's today's intake' ENJOY'
Scene 1:
ASR ka dil hain dayavan, after all he is bhagwan'
Buaji: Arnav bitwa, your heart is as big as your bank balance'
ASR: Really? Last time I checked I was Scrooge and Grinch's love child, since when I became Santa Clause's grandson?
Buaji: You are so funny' *giggle giggle* *fluttering non-existent eye lashes* Our Sanka Devi has always been generous, but now you take the cake by saying the magic word'
ASR: Please?
Buaji: Nope
ASR: Sorry?
Buaji: Guess again'
ASR: Thank you?
Buaji: You are sooo funny' No, the magic word is YES'
ASR: I had such a deprived childhood' I did not even know Yes was a magic word'
Buaji: Oh yes, you see' in Laxmi Nagar once you said yes for something, you can't say no for anything' EVER' You will be yes man forever' As in Yes honey, whatever you say honey'
ASR: What have I done? I need my moneyyy' (Note: He can't say mommy, so he picked the next best thing closest to his heart)
Fandom: Oh my' He is so generous'
Me: I would agree considering Lavanya was very happy with him' but he has not showed any visual proof yet' So I will wait until he does'
Constructive critics: You dirty mind' Don't talk about God like that' It's a grievous sin'
Me: Yeah' I have to do the sin' since God ain't doing any'
Scene: 2
Bamboo stand phool barsao in Slow Motion' Mujhe aaj chance mila hain, Us mein dance karna hain
(To be sang in the tune of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGuRNfJ1ys0 )
Neighbourhood aunty: Khushi, can you get the flowers from that totally unnecessary bamboo stand? I could have put the flowers on the ground, instead of on that stand' But I thought if I give your rich husband opportunity for Bamboo Ve, he will be in a happy mood and listen to my financial woes in details'
Khushi: Sure aunty' Since he has no intension of doing anything, I have to make do with totally unintensional "accidents" wink wink'
Khushi climbs ladder, her dupatta flies, ASR on the rescue'
ASR: Khushi, your dupatta is not flying towards my face' You are at the wrong spot' Why did you climb that ladder that can't even carry your load? Let me climb too and add my load on the ladder as well to make sure it makes us fall along with slow motion flower basket '
ASR and Khushi fall on the ground' Khushi makes sure to fall in strategic position
ASR: Umm' Khushi what are you doing? I'm getting all excited'
Khushi: You see when I showed you my "Around the bed in 80 moves", you were too busy trying to hang onto the bed to pay attention, so I had to show my favourite position through this totally necessary "accident"' Me on top' winkey wink'
ASR: This flower is falling really slow' like someone is shaking them on us' Gravity does not work this way'
Khushi: Yeah, I bribed Devi Maiyya with Rs. 101. My usual standard is Rs. 11 but these days, inflation and recession has hit heaven too'
Khushi gives ASR angelic smile' ASR go googly eyed'
Khushi leaps and jumps over ASR and runs towards generator'
ASR: Huh? What does that generator got that I don't?
Khushi: It vibrates' 'nuf said'
Constructive Critics: Khushi ' You ungrateful devotee' God looked at you and you run to that piece of useless machine'
Me: Babes, right now that generator is the only useful machine' until the God's machine starts up and running'
Scene: 3
ASR, the mechanic'
Useless old men: None of us can fix this generator. So instead of calling an electrician at minimum wage, let's ask a girl in pink to fix it. Then we will go shopping together'
Khushi: Here's the screw, here's the driver' This one goes in and then twists'that one throbs and turns' Oh my' I guess I really need the real thing soon'
ASR: Move Khushi' I can fix generator, toy train and regular household items' in fact' along with my MBA in Harvard, I bought a mechanical engineering degree just in case. So I'm also Arnav Singh Raizada. B.Eng.
Useless Old Men: *Fluttering Non-existant eyelashes* Coochie coo' You are as good at fixing things as you are good looking' What a catch'
Fandom: Sigh' He is our hero'
Me: Wow' he may not be able to change tire of his own car, but he can fix everything else' What a talent'
Scene: 4
Kid comes to ASR with toy train and decides to take ASR for a ride'
Kid: Bro, can you fix the train?
ASR: I'm frustrated right now because our Bamboo Ve scene got interrupted' So scoot'
Kid starts crying
ASR: Fine. I will fix it' *Fixes train*' That would be Rs.100 for my labour. I will send the receipt to your home.
Kid: *I don't have that much money.* Okay sign this paper that says you will fix everything I bring for Rs.100.
ASR: *Hey, making money and not thinking about Khushi. Love it.* Done'
Precap:
*Kid Runs out, signs a deal with the rest of the area, sells ASR's service for Rs.200 an hour, comes back with the crowd*
Kid: Fix their stuff now. I will send the payment to your man.
ASR: What the? I'm not a mechanic.
Kid: Should have thought that before saying the magic word and signing a deal with a Laxmi Nagar kid'
Constructive Critics: Why' the kid is taking advantage' It's all Khushi's fault'
Me: ASR, ASR, ASR' When will you learn your lesson? Even Shyamu is playing you like play dough' However, this kid has potential. Here's what I'd do. Appoint Nikhil (the Shaitan ka bizness partner), for as your Contract Negotiator and this kid as Promotions and Sales Manager. AR's future will be safe and secured and your Di will get permanent supply of money to maintain Shyamu's lifestyle and future love-children'
Loopy: And I will get endless supply of What the Fiction inspiration'
What the Fiction Tia: And I will have better career advancement, larger fan following and higher pay'
Me: But you said you'd ditch me'
What the Fiction Tia: Who is talking about you? Your posts are always on the verge of shutting down and labour cuts' I'm talking about Loopy's post'
Me: (To be sang to the tune of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vte2dOINMAk )
Main main naa raha'
Jab job opportunity naa raha'
Silent Readers ne bhi,
Mere post ko naa pada'
Mods ko complaint kar diya'
Hindi TV Shows
Cricket
Sports
CID
854