Arnav: I promised myself...

Wow guys, what a beautiful episode yesterday! Arnav's concern was just so real and so pure, and his guilt was just so true and honest. The whole situation is just perfect, and I'm loving the road this show is taking right now.

Anyways, I was pretty inspired by the episode and im kinda waiting for the next one TO HURRY UP AND COME, so I decided to write out the thoughts and feelings Arnav was experiencing during the scene when he first woke up realizing what he had done. Here it goes...

As I awoke, the rays of sunlight shining upon my face felt non-existent.

The vociferous sounds of nature inaudible.

It was a blinding darkness, and I its creator.

I was seized with an immediate and unmistakable panic.

The events of the recent past came flooding back. First in small ripples of realization, and then the final wave of confirmation.

I did not think, only called her name in a pathetic and desperate hope she would answer.

She did not.

I knew I was no longer sleeping, and this lucidity was unbearable.

I sprang out of what appeared to be a position of comfort, even though it was far from it.

I ran to where I saw her last. Trembling, in fear of my piercing gaze, my cruel words.

It was all so real, as if I could feel her wet tears upon my skin.

I was a monster. And the realization did not come when I saw her, curled up and unshaking, or even when my spoken words flowed through my mind, but when I saw the state of her light switch.

It was broken. I tested it to make sure. But it was broken.

I imagined her alone and afraid, immersed in the darkness I had forced upon her.

I had offered her no comfort, no arms to run into, no gentle hands to wipe her tears.

But I had trapped her, abandoned her, tortured her.

That was when it truly hit me.

It was worse than a broken bone or bruise. Because those wounds eventually healed. They grew better with time.

But for some reason, mine only grew worse.

Like a disease, the guilt spread through my body, my heart, my soul, until I was drowning in an agonizing sensation of regret.

I was seized with a passionate desire to touch her, to make her better.

I attempted to shake her awake, only to discover the terrifying stillness of her body.

Her head rolled over and I caught her in my ready hands.

I felt her forehead already knowing what I would find.

Where was my concern, my care, when she was suffering as I slept like a selfish child in the warmth of blankets, and she in the cold of my unkindness.

Now, it was too late.

I slid my arm around her motionless body and carried her to the bed which I had previously occupied.

It was hers.

I would give her anything, all my possessions, only if she would stop mocking me with those closed eyes.

As I laid her down, gently, tenderly, I noticed she had not yet let go of my shirt.

A sensation of pleasure flitted up my spine. A feeling of shocking happiness, comfort, and purity.

But I did not deserve it. I carefully laid her hand back down, and attempted to ignore the sudden hollowness I felt when I removed myself from her touch.

Our caretaker voiced her confusion on her sudden sickness, and the truth ate at me in painful and unimaginable ways.

She left, and I tried again.

Please, please wake up. I spoke her name in desperation and passion, wanting and caring for nothing else. Only her.

She uttered the name of her mother and father, and I looked about awkwardly, for they were not there, and I knew my name would not be at the tip of her tongue.

But then, it happened. Her eyes opened, and an overwhelming sentiment of relief, passion and pure joy shot through me. She was awake.

And as I helped her straighten and take any necessary antidote, I promised myself I would do right my wrong.

I would nurse her back to health, I would make her better. I would care for her and listen to her. I would defend her and protect her. I would show her no pain, no unkindness. I would restrain my anger, my impatience.

Yes, I would make her better.

I promised myself.

Well that's it, I don't post often so I hope you guys liked it! Please do share your opinions :)

Originally posted by: malluangel

that was awesome! you are an awesome writer, hey if you write anything else, pm me k?

absolutely stunning post. I loved it. Please write more often.

Originally posted by: bidz

absolutely stunning post. I loved it. Please write more often.

Aww thanks :) And will do :)

You need to write more often dear friend.These must be exactly what might have gone thru ASR's mind.Excellent portrayal of his emotions.👏

Beautiful lines n pure. Touched my heart.

Originally posted by: -Garima-

Awww, that was sooo good! :D

You're an awesome writer, you have to write one shots or fanfictions! Cuz this was just amazing! :) Great job!

--Garima

Thanks so much! and hmm maybe I'll give them a try :)

Originally posted by: music1

You need to write more often dear friend.These must be exactly what might have gone thru ASR's mind.Excellent portrayal of his emotions.👏

Aww thanks for the appreciation I definitley will write more :)