#*Devil's Den#* Chat Club 6

Those lights that glowed around me were insufficient to show
the glow of the fire within me. The fire that threatened to engulf me, the fire
that was at its pinnacle of destruction, if I didn't find a cure for it. There
were people laughing around and all I could see darkness spread around me. I don't
know if there was any way out of it or if I was going deep into it. But I have
to come out of it, I couldn't let myself fall in that hole again. I took me
ages to come out of it again, but then I had found light which drew me to it
and now that light had abandoned me again. I heard an empty laugh, a painful
laugh and realized it was me.

Life had played its game on me again it showed me the path
to happiness only to take it away. It had showed me how to laugh only to give me
pain,it had taught me how to talk only to make me realize that I could never
speak what was going on and live with a feeling of incompleteness throughout.

I heard the rain outside talking to the winds and the nature
and here I was standing in between lights all alone with a tingling pain in my
hand, but it was nothing compared to the pain that my heart was going through.

I could hear someone approaching me. I knew who it was
immediately. I didn't need to look around, her mere presence that filled the
air would tell me of her approaching me. What
did she want now..she wanted to see how I lived or she wanted to see how I died
each and every moment without her.She will not see anything. She was my
weakness, hell yes she was but I wouldn't let her know it.She will never know
what I go through to live each second. No I had given her that right once and
she trampled over my feelings as if it made no difference to her, I will not
give her that right once again.

I composed myself again and stood there like a
stone..Stone..how ironic..i had been living my life like a machine past one
week and now I had to act like a statue to protect my feelings from her.

She approached me and stood next to me.

She said Maan..

How could she say that so easily..how could she sound so
calm and composed. How did she do it..how did she smile..did it really make no difference
to her..did it really not hurt her? Did she not feel the pain how how..my head
was going to burst with questions. I wanted the answer to all..but how do I ask
her..

I had seen tears in her eyes when that flame hurt my hand that
meant that somewhere deep within her she still loved me..but if she did why did
she say no…why did she say she didn't need me..why did she walk out..WHY?

The questions were too many and the answers I had to none..

I turned towards her my eyes full of hatred..hatred for the
pain she had given me, hatred for the man she had made me, hatred for those
questions that killed me each day hatred for the distance that lay between us
and none of us crossed it..i knew she loved me..she knew I loved her..then
where had the things gone wrong..where..

I saw that she was carrying a bottle of medicine in her
hand..What she came to apply medicine on that wound that made no difference to
me..if she wanted she could heal the wound on my heart that threatened to kill
me.

Wound..i remembered the time she had tied the handkerchief on
my hand..in the car on the way to Amritsar.

She was looking at me still. She took the medicine and opened
it but I was too angry.i took the bottle from her hand and flung it on the
ground. The bottle broke into a thousand pieces.

The sound scared her..she moved a step back from where she was standing. She looked
back at me and shook her head..

"Tum yahaan kya kar rahi ho..maine tumse jaane ko kaha tha.."

She said nothing but started to walk away..i wanted my
answers she couldn't walk away just like that. I held her hand from behind and
pulled her back to me..

She immediately buried her head in my chest..and now I flinched
back..No I couldn't let her near me..i
might break in my resolve.no this cannot happen I had to fill my ulterior
motive..she wanted something and I had always made sure she got it and today
too she will get it..she wanted to be alone she will get it..she wanted to be
away from me she will get it she wanted to be the head of company she will get
that too..