||DMG/AR OS|| With Venom In Our Hearts

khahani thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#1

Hello everyone :)

So finally the years of entertainment/torture/ambiguity is coming to an end. So to say bye to Dill Mill Gaye I am posting a short story I wrote a while back based on Armaan and Riddhima. It's my way of saying alvida to the show.

On one hand I'm glad that this show is ending as things were/are getting out of hand both on-screen and off-screen. And of course how can we forget the activity of this forum. But on the other hand I feel a little nostalgic about the DMG we all loved at some point of its life time. It had its ups and downs but we can't deny the fact that this show has been loved/liked/hated by all different fan groups at some point. I'll remember DMG as a fond memory. I won't miss DMG as such giving the current upheaval but I'll defiantly miss the days when it used to put a smile on my face and of course will definitely miss our Dr Dude! I remember the first day seeing Armaan and Riddhima meet on the basket ball court, and watching their love story blossom and nurture in front of our eyes, the nhok jhok, the cute banter, fights which eventually developed into LOVE and the most BEAUTIFUL LOVE story of 'my time' in my opinion. Watching, friendships bloom in Sanjeevani, heartbreaks, heartaches, HEADACHES for the viewers at time, DMG gave us a lot.

I guess now that DMG is ending no more headaches and no more heart aches. Let it be a beautiful memory for us all.

Anyways enough of my soliloquy, I'll let you read on. Read, comment, and press the like button (that is of course if you actually like the piece)

I deliberately did not put a backdrop to the story so you can let your imagination run wild and come up with your own conclusion about why certain events took place.

Here it goes....

"With Venom In Our Hearts.."

Riddhima sipped on her coffee, scalding her tongue in the process. Armaan smiled knowingly as he sat down beside her. It didn't matter how many times she burned her tongue she was just too impatient when it came to her daily cup of coffee. Ever since she had to cut back on caffeine Armaan had taken it upon himself to manage her caffeine addiction. So for the last three months every morning Armaan would make her poison of choice, not that she was complaining. Somehow he managed to satisfy all her caffeine cravings with just a mug full. He was her herbal magician. Armaan then kissed her goodbye and left for work. She watched him leave as she savoured the last of the coffee and listed in her head all the things that she would have to do that day.

She was still thinking of him as she looked through the shop window, of how his tattoo would slither out from under his shirt sleeve every morning when he would reach to unlock the door.

The sun was shining in through the water spots on the window left by the afternoon's rain, casting marbled shadows across the shop. Dust motes danced in the light, their presence acting like a veil preserving the antique quality the place exuded. The dark shelves which lined the walls were filled with clear glass jars containing exotic herbs and spices, their aroma faintly scenting the room. The content of the jars resembled that of a witch's larder.

Riddhima checked the address on the post-it once again and entered the shop. The sound of the wind chime seemed to echo and disappear into one of the many corners of the shop. The dull pounding in her head, the reason for her visit, seemed to almost disappear. After weeks of restless nights and tension headaches the relief felt euphoric. She ran her fingers through her hair and drank in the ambience.

In the middle of the room stood a circular antique table, on which a glass bowl of water had been placed. The tinkling of the bead curtain announced the arrival of the store owner. The woman had a tornado of grey hair which was set ablaze against her smooth ebony skin. Her eyes were the same piercing shade of grey and motioned for Riddhima to take a seat at the table. As the owner sat down across from her, she asked of the reason for her visit.

Riddhima started with the dreams. They always started the same, with the warm feeling you would get on a cloudless sunny day. And as soon as the pleasantness set in she would be plunged into icy cold water, and as she would struggle for air the water would fill her mouth and draw out the warmth from her body. And when she felt the life drain from her she felt the pressure of its hand and she would see its face, a contortion of an evil expression, and she could feel its happiness penetrate her like iron maiden.

Riddhima shuddered uncontrollably as she tried to shake off the memory. The owner departed and then swiftly returned with a tray of tea. She hugged herself to try and control the rocking. The owner crushed the chosen herbs in her hand and dropped them in the cup and then continued to pour hot water from an ornate metal teapot. The owner told her to drink the tea. The cup trembled in her hand and the owner steadied and directed it towards her mouth. The hot liquid seemed to sooth her almost instantly. The owner looked at her with concern as her face creased with wisdom.

Once the shaking had stopped the owner told Riddhima that she believed that the dreams were a warning and she wanted to try and interpret the meaning of them. Riddhima nodded. The owner told her to pick two flowers from the vase at the counter. Riddhima returned with a yellow and red chrysanthemum. The owner directed her to place the flowers in her tea then explained to her what she must do. Riddhima took a sip of the tea and then poured the content of the cup into the bowl in front of her. She closed her eyes as directed. The owner observed the first flower float to the top and turn upside down. The second flower surfaced quickly after and floated by the first. The owner said she saw someone who was closely connected to her heart. She asked her if she could see anything. Riddhima shook no. The owner watched green liquid diffuse into the water and waited for the tea leaves to settle. As she glimpsed the image the word snake escaped her mouth. Riddhima opened her eyes. Suddenly something flashed before her. Startled, she jumped making her chair fall back. The owner asked her what she had seen. She went blank for a second and then replied snake, yes it was definitely a snake, and she muttered it once again under her breath.

All of a sudden a dizzying sensation overcame her. The owner made her another cup of tea and once again she relaxed. The woman busied herself making parcel of herbs. She told Riddhima that they would help her with her head aches and sleep, but she must visit again so they could make sense of her dreams. Riddhima paid and thanked the woman but had already decided not to return.

Armaan eyed her suspiciously as he entered the living room watching her drink the newly purchased herbal tea. He smiled cheekily as he asked her if she had been to the witch doctor. She rolled her eyes even though the tea seemed to be helping. He snatched the mug playfully out of her hand and told her that if this is what caffeine deficiency had driven her to it was time for a relapse. She smiled and hushed the thoughts in her head. Once the coffee was in her hands all the worries had vanished from her mind. She was half way through the mug when she felt a drowsiness, which attacked her in waves. The mug dropped from her hands. She called out to Armaan who was watching her. His face blurred like she was seeing him through water. Slowly the water turned a murky green, and all that she could see through the green filter was a hint of his Cheshire Cat smile....

Nahida :)

Edited by khahani - 15 years ago

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-Anku- thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
Nahida ,you'r here 🤗
Love what you say,DMG is a very imprtant part of our lives ,would be tough when it goes. BUT its not the same ,not how it was when AR were together,not when we always thought they can never be seperated.
I dont need to tell you how well you write <3
You need to write more ! I love this OS .I tried to comment first here for compensation of commenting so late earlier 😆
DulceTentacion. thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
Reserved :)
will comment later. Studying <3
p.s. lovely post fatty :P :)
nondescript thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
COPIED, PASTED AND A LITTLE EDITED, more pasted😆

Okay so this is like HASTA LA VISTA DMGGGGG... I totally know how you feel I felt some what similar when posting the final part of Locked in Love. DMG really did give us A LOT. Unexpected as it may be, DMG is FINALLY coming to an end. And well after a VERY VERY VERY long time I am happy about news associated with this show. It's about TIME it ended....

DMG, you gave me AR. You showed me what true love is, you taught me the best lesson I could have ever learnt from television 'NEVER GET TOO ATTACHED TO AN INDIAN TV SHOW'


It hurt to see how AR were simply toyed around with, and then crushed but I sincerely do hope to give the show and we AR fans a sense of wholeness and completeness, that AR re-unite. The show began on them and certainly deserves to end on them. I for one would have been happy if they both died back on 21st Sept 2009, I guess that that didnt happen, BUT this is AR's final chance and well... I really and truly do hope that for one last time it works in their favour. We deserve it, AR deserve it and most importantly their LOVE deserves it.

Dhanno Madam, so the sadist in you (us anti-Riddhima Modi-ians) has managed to finally make its way to a OShot! Oh yeah baby!! As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE AR... I dislike the nayi Riddhima in DMG and who knows this better than you, us with our sadistic pleasures in killing off Mrs Modi and bringing back Basket.... I Loved this OShot in the most unusual manner, it was the whole Riddhima fading into a wild sleep with Armaan whilst evilly grinning... it held this dream like quality... It held this hauntingly lulling quality which made like it all the more😆 You dared to be different Nadz and you have succeeded.

Why on earth is the writer in you surfacing now? You should have written a OS or an AR FF long time back, next time I want to read some romantic AR mush 😆 Nadz you are actually a great writer, and your descriptions, ahh I just LOVED

I loved this following paragraph

Riddhima started with the dreams. They always started the same, with the warm feeling you would get on a cloudless sunny day. And as soon as the pleasantness set in she would be plunged into icy cold water, and as she would struggle for air the water would fill her mouth and draw out the warmth from her body. And when she felt the life drain from her she felt the pressure of its hand and she would see its face, a contortion of an evil expression, and she could feel its happiness penetrate her like iron maiden.


The contrast was brilliantly penned! LOVED LOVED LOVED it!

Oh and might I add, I LOVED the Title. It was perfect... Armaan really disliked her with heart and soul... actually to some readers it will seem like he doesn't have a soul😆 Who cares Mrs Modi deserved it!

Riddhima delving deeper into this witches labyrinth, each herb concealing a different poison, a different secret awaiting to be revealed once consumed... BRILLIANT..

Ohh and a quick mention to the tattoo, I loved how you used the 'snake' metaphor.... how his tattoo would 'slither' and how Riddhima said 'Snake'

I await some more OShots or if we readers are lucky even a FF

Love You Looooads
Dhanno Behna😃 - I know how much this smiley irritates you, the phoniness hehe Just kidding heres a proper smile😊

khahani thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5

@Anku🤗 - YES I am here couldn't keep myself away any longer😆 Since you are the first to comment, you are forgiven :) We will always remember DMG for its good old days, where the creative portrayed the bond of friendship between the interns, the blooming relationship of AR and the ups and downs of it. And with those memories we should let it go.

@Miaz - No worries, comment whenever possible :)

@Hannah - Dhanno copy and pasting ki jai ho.😆 Well who knows the 'sadist me' better than you huh?

Yes it is definitely time for DMG to close the curtains. I think we just had about enough of all the melodrama, the show is no longer what it used to be but yet we often found ourselves looking back and pulling our hair out but no more of that.

And yup it certainly taught us as a thing or two, if not the show then the forum sure did😳

Thank you for all your other compliments which I am sure am not worthy of but thank you nonetheless and you can read the full reply elsewhere. Or do you want me to copy and paste it here too😆

Love you🤗

Edited by khahani - 15 years ago
367945 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#6
I'm here :)
Firstly I'm quite glad you posted it here, and I don't know why but given the current situation, your OS seems quite apt.
Now I really don't have anything new to add, and unfortunately I will be pretty much plagiarizing my earlier comment from the FF section to this one. Nonetheless I have made some changes....anyways here goes:

As others have already (this was in the FF forum) mentioned your work was well somewhat 'baffling'. I'm not sure if that is the right term to describe my initial thoughts upon reading this OS but that's the closest I can get (sorry I'm not much of a writer hence the lack of words in my vocabulary).
Like quite a few others, I did read it again to confirm my thoughts about the OS. And thankfully I was right.

Okay so the OS:
It's FILLED with metaphors and symbolism. Others have given quite a few examples of it hence I don't need to be redundant.
One of my favourite parts from the OS is how you described the setting. I really feel that describing the setting is an essential part in any work of fiction since it allows the reader to understand your thoughts in a much better manner. Without the setting, the story reduces to mere characters in some white box. Anyways that is enough of my diatribe on the setting.
I like the fact that this OS is very different in its content and meaning. I know you said it is not embedded in romance, but I was honestly a bit taken back when I first read it.
The title? Hmm why the 'our'? Am I missing something here? Isn't it only Armaan? Wasn't he the one who had been poisoning her without her knowing so? This can't be a reference to Riddhima. If it is, then I definitely did not understand your OS completely.
Can I criticize a little? I hope you don't mind me saying so, and this is only because you asked for my opinion, but I thought a few sentences were a bit short and quite 'simple'. I thought there were quite a few those instances and they seemed quite contrasting when compared with some of your other lengthier sentences.
Okay moving on there are some stereotypes here. The colour green, witch doctor, dreams, etc. Again it's quite symbolic but also quite stereotypical. It's not a bad thing, but it's just an observation I made. Actually on second thought, because your work is somewhat confusing to understand initially, these literary devices are a big help.
I loved how you ended it. I mean if nothing, then the last sentence surely tells the reader alot. Lol somehow though I have a tough time imagining Armaan with a Cheshire cat smile (esp. not in the current DMG track!).
I like the whole colour theme you had going on. I know you talked about sunlight but for me the colour theme was mostly green and a little gray.
I know this is an OS and sometimes those do leave some unanswered questions in the reader's mind. But I would like to know why was Armaan poisoning her? Lol if it was to take the revenge of the March to May time, then atta boy! But I'm quite sure that's not it.

All in all, it is quite a good read, albeit a bit 'baffling'. A very good first attempt and if your intent was to cause your reader to do some hard thinking than you're successful. Do write more, but I'd like to see you write some romance as well. I want to see how you would present that.

Finally, yes as I said before your writing is quite mature and this is really a one of a kind OS. I have yet to come across a FF or an OS that is on the human psyche (sorry I still haven't checked out that FF you recommended).

As before yes your writing is quite mature, and you need to write more. But I somehow think you won't be at least for a very long time. Heck it's been more than 2 months since you wrote this and still no follow-up. And please reply back to my comment this time...I have yet to receive a reply on the FF forum one, and someone complains about my late PM replies. Hypocrite, I tell ye!

Okay I completely ignored your intro to the OS as I assumed you had copy and pasted the same thing. But yes it feels quite weird to see the show ending, but I'm happy that it is. About AR's first scene? It was just amazing. The writing, direction, camera work, and finally the actors. Karan and Shilpa just pulled you in...
If I had to comment on the show then I think it'd have been best for a lot of people if the show had gotten done in May 2008. Leave it on a high note as opposed to the channel forcing you to shut down. Anyways, lol you're talking as some grandma Nahida, greatest love story of your time? How old are you woman? Lol it's cute though, I can see you're very attached to AR.

And now I'm done yapping :)

P.S. I didn't fully edit my whole comment, because I ranted a lot, so if some comment seems out of place then it might make more sense in the FF topic.

P.S.S. I really want to know your motivation behind this OS and what was going on in your mind when you wrote this. As I said before it's quite complicated and it leaves some answered questions, but how exactly do you feel about the characters and the story?
Edited by seert - 15 years ago
neel_jay thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
Hi Nahida,
You write really well and I don't need to tell you that because you already know it! :)
But honestly, I didn't like the piece on AR. I would have loved it on any other pair, but not AR. Because Armaan loves Riddhima so much that he would give his own life for her but he could never take her life, no matter how much she hurt him.
khahani thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8

@ Hannah – I forgot in my previous reply to say a HUGE Thank You D.Behna (you know why!)🤗

@ Arushi – I know I haven't replied in the other thread but I am going to try and compensate it here. Basket ko maaf kardo.🤗

@Seert – I am here to reply before you hurl more abuses at me!

I'm glad that it perplexed you and made you think twice as this means a job well done on my part because the whole idea was to present something which will make the reader think before reaching to a conclusion.

The title was taken from a holistic perspective; it was there to show the audience point of view as well as Armaan's inner thoughts. Am I making sense here? Basically I wrote this out of aggravation against DMG as a whole and as you very well know I am not very fond of Riddhima especially Riddhima Modi, hence the 'our' in the title instead of 'my'.

Thank you for appreciating the setting; I spent a lot of time writing it. Ahh I had to be a little stereotypical in order keep the vividness alive and also provide hints of what was happening to Riddhima. The sunlight was there as an underlying contrast to the darker shades of the characters. As for why Armaan did what he did, I'll leave that for your imagination! You can draw your own conclusions.

You called me a grandma??? That's just pure mean! That's it no more PM replies😳 What I meant was that, their story was young and fresh (now I don't watch other Hindi TV serials so don't counter argue about the freshness). I am or rather was very attached to AR, somehow they connected with me especially how they came to terms with their relationship and how it started to mature but things took a down turn somewhere down the line. Anyways we all have our opinions about when the show should have ended but if it ended back in 2008, it would've saved a lot of cyberspace for sure 😆

I am not sure whether I'll write more anytime soon, I need to hate something passionately in order put my creativity back in gear 😆 I usually get good results on papers that I hate writing the most. No problems about the rant, I love long comment but a little lazy in replying.

Take care and Thanks again for commenting here xx

@ Neel_Jay – Thank you :) and I am sorry that you didn't like how the OS ended. I know Armaan is too sweet (for his own good) to do such a thing to Riddhima. I think you are under the perception that he killed R.Modi but this was not the case! I was just experimenting with different character shades.

khahani thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: seert



P.S.S. I really want to know your motivation behind this OS and what was going on in your mind when you wrote this. As I said before it's quite complicated and it leaves some answered questions, but how exactly do you feel about the characters and the story?

I was expecting an question like that.

As I said before I was trying to experiment something different with AR as we've only seen the romantic aspect of their story. The inspiration came from an English essay I was proof reading for my cousin; it had the theme of gothic murder, and at that time I wasn't really watching DMG but the last scene I watched was that of when R was drunk and confessing to S about how he taught her how to love and blah. So you can clearly see my displeasure of R in this OS.

I had to make Armaan kill Riddhima to leave an effective after affect. I hope that answered your question.

TC xx

PS: I hope I am forgiven for not replying in the other thread :)

Edited by khahani - 15 years ago
U-No-Poo thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#10
heylo nahida, this one shot was recommended by more than two people so I'm finally here :)
okay, so I'm a huge fan of vague/ambigous settings. they leave so much to imagination, it like running around in a boundless circle, you can either keep running around the same circumference, or you can run farther and still not find anything. Idk if that made sense 😆
anyway, so, I loved it. somehow, armaan and grey shades blend really well. infact, a completely white shade wouldn't suit him at all (maybe a black would) you write brilliantly, and I love how you captured each small detail with so much precision. It was almost as if I were being sucked into this vortex of dread and confusion without knowing the reason.
once again, amazingly written, keep it up!
p.s - this is really crazy, but is ms. trelawney your inspiration? (the eccentric divination teacher from harry potter 😆) Idk, but while reading the one shot, I was sort of reminded of that particular scene where ms. trelawney is teaching the students how to predict future with the help of tea leaves 😆
p.p.s - oh and dementors too? 😆
Edited by CZ.. - 15 years ago

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