Thoughts on today's episode - 2/24/2010 - Page 5

Originally posted by: why3

Misti & Gardes:

You are right that the change of writers brought a change in characterization of Radhika the most and Dev's to some extent. Last year's Radhika could held Amma's hand, threaten her with disclosure and stand up to Devki to let her stay with Dev because of a promise she made to him. This new Radhika starts quivering in front of Amma and runs to do her bidding everytime. So, she is more like your abuse-survivor kind of person. But, even these new writers are not portraying her that way. They are showing her as extremely good hearted, kind etc., devoted (more in a ritualistic way than the spiritual way she used to be before - one of my complaints), but too innocent and feeling extremely obligated towards the abusive people of the adopted family. But, again that is not totally true either as they never showed her having less feelings of obligation towards Amma after the burning track. But, she was still shown to pray for Amma which is unrealistic even for a abuse victim/survivor. In fact, the story about the swan and the crab was the most appropriate and I hope the purpose of Birju knowing about this is that he can convey these feelings to Dev who can learn to better handle Radhika and help her let go of unnecessary feelings of obligations. In some sense, Dev is somewhat blind too towards the bad people of his family, but he has no great love for them. So, when the time comes, he will find it quite easy to break from them too.

So, if the track is to develop Radhika as a wiser person who is still good and compassionate but now can see through her evil relatives, that would be great. But, they still give her lines about following "wife dharam" and "DIL dharam" which she breaks most blatantly. But, again waiting for the conclusion to this track to show if there is an improvement in communication betwen the two main characters and how the other characters around them interact with them.

I second your recommendation of using Chacha and Mrin more than showing Amma and Vishaka. Very tired of these two characters especially Amma. As many mentioned, they are inviting Shastri family despite not inviting other DIL's families so that Amma can come and find out about Vishaka, order Radhika to take care of her and so on. So, these weekly rounds of Amma coming to Delhi are really getting on my nerve as a viewer. I much prefer Chacha and Mrin combination than Amma and Vishaka.

Misti,

Birju's dialouges are just too smart, intelligent. Loved it.......

I wonder why can't ANY creatives in daily soap worls can not make a girl's charatcter bold abd smart yey good in traditional way......I wonder why why why???

Jhumapan,

Misti, why3, gardes, banibond , everyone else ... loved reading your thoughts on characterization of rads

For me, Rads has always been a survivor of abuse. Barring a few incidents (ghendwa phool is the one that comes to mind that I have tried to wipe from my memory) and a few others where they have changed her character to highlight someone else, I think that has been consistent

- Abuse by amma has been clearly shown throughout the serial
- Devki forcing her to give up what was rightfully hers caused her to increasingly question her role as an adopted daughter in the Shastri family ... her sense of obligation and duty increased and I think she felt truly like an outsider when this happened.
- At this point, she is not only a victim of abuse ... apart from Shastriji she truly does not believe that she has anyone she can call her own. She is an adopted child whose only friend is her subconscious, kanha (Misti ... I am with you there)

I do not believe that all abuse victims/survivors need to follow a certain pattern. Her other character traits do not necessarily mean that she is not a victim of abuse

- Rads is unique in the sense that her strong faith and belief in kanha have kept her strong and intensely devoted to people around her
- She is sweet but very misguided and inexperienced since she has not had a friend or anyone to advise her differently
- She has a constant need to prove her very existence to everyone around her except for Dev ... she tries to be the perfect everything to everyone and is afraid that if she fails people around her will no longer like her.
- She is very duty bound bcos that has been instilled in her as a child ... with the exception of Dev whom she possibly considers an extension of herself
- She also has been so accustomed to fending for herself that to ask Dev to help her is possibly uncharacteristic for her
- Since she is young and is always considered to be wise by her parents, she has a misguided sense of what she is doing
- She has always been shown as being strong only when it meant something that directly impacted Dev ... for some reason she does not see her marriage to dev as something that dev truly wants and needs ... sees it more as something she desires
- I do not see her being mahaan as contradictory to her being abused ... if she can truly rise above all of the abuses, learn from mistakes she has made, do a lot of good as an RP , I will consider her quite mahaan (I think that means extremely good human being doesnt it?)

I think the creatives could have done a better job of portraying this with better dialogues, showing more of her introspection. Gardes ... as you pointed out ... in a book, this would have been laid out more clearly. In a TRP driven world, I dont know if it is lack of talent on the part of creatives or business needs that drove them to show less of this. Added to this is the fact that when you are looking to stretch something over a 3-4 year time period, some of the story lines become disjointed and absurd.

Originally posted by: why3

Misti,

What I wanted to say was that even the new writers are showing her a Kanha bhakt (the method of devotion has changed from spiritual to ritualistic) and above all this abuse. So, even if she is burnt by Amma on her body or hands or whatever, she comes out of it thanks to her Kanha. They are not showing her doing things for Vishaka from an abused person's perspective, but because Vishaka's family gave her shelter and food for 20 years even if she was treated like a servant and given left-overs. Even the conflict is all about obligation to her adopted family vs. her duties/responsibilities towards her inlaws and husband. Only in one episode, they showed her valuing the trust earned by PF and a fear of losing that trust. So, my point is that she is still shown as a person who was abused, but got out of it due to Kanha's will and is unaffected by it.

I would be very happy if they show a development of an abusive person who changes and breaks the pattern due to a love of a great husband and his loving family. I would be ecstatic if it is addressed by both families once the entire truth about Vishaka and Amma comes out. However, I am almost sure that it wouldn't be called abuse, but just understanding and appreciation of Radhika's out of world quality. In fact, I remember that they had a dialogue of Keshav with Dev at one point where he is expressing her love for Radhika and mentioning to Dev that Radhika is not from this world and she is something totally unique and above all human beings as she is untouched by malice, insults, greed and has just love in her for everyone. That's why Amma's abuse doesn't even touch her and passes her by.

This is the way the character was portrayed from the beginning and to some extent is continued this way even with the new writers.

Also, there is some statistic that does show a big percentage of abuse victims themselves become abusive to their own families (can't remember the numbers). But, I concede that good-heartedness and abuse victim/survivor need not be uncorrelated. In fact, Radhika to some extent is only abused by Amma. Devki oscillates between treating her fairly and tolerating Amma's abuse. Shastriji loves her and do stop Amma from time to time, but Amma is clever and she does a lot of her extreme abuse behind everyone's back. Vishaka was always selfish, but not abusive in Amma's sense. She was too self-centered to do anything else.

Angie.

The new writers are completely confused bunch..........they show her a mixture of everything..a kichdi in one sense and so I do not go by what they are making the characters say but more on how the characters are reacting to each other..........that gives me a much better picture.......regarding kanha bhakti...my confusion is that as far as I know bhakti of any form is a spiritual path. In fact there is a period in Indian history known as the Bhakti Movement and is resulted because people wanted a break from the more ritualistic version of Hinduism that was practiced in those days. It was a liberal movement and it taught the denouncement of caste system and offered recourse for Hindus from the orthodox Brahaminical systems. But here they are showing more ritualistic stuff so how can it be called bhakti? As for the recovery for burns....if because of Kanha bhakti she got cured then why did Kanha not save her in the first place? The are loads of instances when Mira Bai has been saved by Kanha.........in those instances Kanha never allowed Mira Bai to be harmed first and then rushed to cure her.............he stopped anything harmful from hapening to her. So I can understand that.......because of Mira Bais kanha bhakti she was saved..........so why didn't Radhikas bhakti protect her...........does that mean that she is not a bhakt? is her bhakti less and thats why Kanha does not like her?

All the treatment that you have mentioned are inhuman and falls under the term of "abuse"....she was treated worse than a servant.............she was a doll for them, infact amma once said that she is a statue and thats why can be made to replace Vishaka and sit for the wedding........that is as if she is being told that she does not have any identity of her own..........isn't that a form of abuse? just giving food and shelter is not enough........it is more important that one is treated as a human being...she was never given that treatment........all her obligation comes from the fact that she has been told that she is not equal to them..........isn't that a form of abuse?

Ammas abuse does not touch her? So does that mean that having no self confidence is ok? being scared of anything and everything is ok? having no faith in one is ok? her inability to express herself to Dev is ok? her life of silence is ok? trying hard to be perfect all the time and in the meantime killing oneself everyday is ok?

Devkis abuse is the worst of the lot because she is the mother figure..........every person whether child or adult wants that her or his mother will trust him/her and will support them in times of crises.........Devki is extremely selfish, she uses Radhika as per her demands.........if she had stood strong this bride change would not have happened...........Radhika would have been able to tell Dev during that Jhoola thing.....she manipulated Radhika into bringing the purohiti family for this marriage of Vishaka (with the teacher).......she also asked Radhika to talk to Shastriji to get Vishaka back, do her kanyadaan.............Devki knew that what she was doing is wrong but she did it and harmed Radhika.........is that not abuse? the only times she as good was when she got scared that Kanha is agnry with them and saw Shastriji feeling ashamed of Vishaka and then she explained about Radhikas proposal. Vishaka has also been abusing her..............she uses Radhika for her own purpose without a thought..........that is also abuse...........although Shastriji did not do anything directly..........he kept silent and that is in some cases worse than the actual crime..........atleast thats what Gita says.

Most probably they will not show this directly as abuse because Indian society does not accept child abuse. There are hundreds of cases in India where such cases are being hidden under the rug and the victims even if they want to speak out against it are forced to keep quiet and then they become mahaan or the perfect daughter, perfect wife, perfect sister, perfect mother..............one who knows that it is useless to speak out because no one will support them..........so what if they die everyday, they can still be mahaan!

Rajsri,