Posted:
Dear Mrs. Heer Prem Juneja,
Hello! I would like to start off with saying, I have been one of your biggest supporter since I started to watch the show. You are my favorite, yes even more than your hot husband. So I write this letter with very good intentions and I hope after reading this, you don't go cry in a corner and blame yourself for Dubai's current economic crisis.
Heer, I want you to know that you are not responsible for everything that happens in the world. Stop acting like you are. If there is a war in Iraq, it's not your fault. Neither is it your fault if North Korea wants to make atomic bombs. If Gayatri has gone insane, you are not to be blamed. It's probably a childhood mental illness. If Lallu is going bald, it's not you, but his genetics though that won't explain why his half-brother and his family is super hairy. If Harman can't win a case, that's because he didn't study so much in Law school. If Preet is dead, you didn't kill him. If Kiran Jiju is missing, you are not the one who lost him. If Sneha is annoying, you are not responsible.
Now if you understand what I am trying to say than this would be much easier. If not, let me repeat, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS. Now that we are clear on that, let's go to my second problem with you. Stop stop STOP butting into everyone's lives! It just gets you in trouble. I know you are a mahan soul and love to be bali ka bakra, but it ends up with you only suffering. Nobody remembers your heroic actions. Just because your parents promised someone doesn't mean you'll forget your hottie Prem and marry a mad Manmeet. It's you that would lose Prem. If Lallu has a problem with Prem doesn't mean you'll fly over into a tornado. If Prem doesn't come to save you on time, you'll drown. If Rishabh is a ghada doesn't mean you make a grand plan of ruining your brother's life by making him marry Veera. Later when Veera becomes tandori chicken, your mother in law would make a plan and you'll be seperated from Prem for 6 years. If Rishabh gets all the property, you don't marry him to save your family. You'lll just be running in Rajistan's deserts all day long. If someone is threatening you that they'll trap your hottie husband, you don't running around with your childhood best friend giving your hottie husband wrong ideas. It would end up with him sleeping with your cousin. If your best friend is in love with your husband, you don't pretend to hate him so she can marry him. Your daughter would expose everything. Do you get what I am trying to say? Everytime you try to be Mahaan, you become bali ka bakra or your plans don't work. So stop trying!
Also I know you are supposed to be a matchmaker but except one (Soni and Yuvraj), your matchmaking efforts have gone to the dogs. Nihaal and Veera = Veera becoming tandori chicken. Rano and Prem = Rano running away to her old lover. Geet and Prem = Prem and Geet making a fool out of you. Meher and Viran = Viran getting all the property and Gayatri hating you more. Stop stop stop! Just enjoy your rab ne bana di jodi with Prem and play Phingoli. Rab would make other jodis, you don't have to!
Not everyone is related to you. Kuljeet is not your Chachi. Who cares what she says? The driver is not your uncle, he's like 16 and your supposed to be at least 30. Sneha is not your daughter, stop making her say you are her Mama. Viren is not your brother, he'll bite you in the back.
Last but not least, your house is not Hotel Ramada! You made Ashlesha stay with you guys, she slept with your husband. You adopted Sneha, she starts acting like Chahat. You brought Shri Malini/Gurmeet home, she turned out to be in the family of your (current) worst enemy! Now you brought Viren home and he'll kick you all out. So stop bringing everyone you see on the streets, home.
What I am trying to say, God gave you a really nice gorgeous husband. Instead of becoming the Mother Theresa of Ekta's world, pay attention to only him. Have fun with him and let the others solve their own problems. Your life would be so much easier. Just look at Maya.
That is all.
As I remain, as always, your loyal supporter,
Mrs. Fari Ranbir Kapoor
Hello! I would like to start off with saying, I have been one of your biggest supporter since I started to watch the show. You are my favorite, yes even more than your hot husband. So I write this letter with very good intentions and I hope after reading this, you don't go cry in a corner and blame yourself for Dubai's current economic crisis.
Heer, I want you to know that you are not responsible for everything that happens in the world. Stop acting like you are. If there is a war in Iraq, it's not your fault. Neither is it your fault if North Korea wants to make atomic bombs. If Gayatri has gone insane, you are not to be blamed. It's probably a childhood mental illness. If Lallu is going bald, it's not you, but his genetics though that won't explain why his half-brother and his family is super hairy. If Harman can't win a case, that's because he didn't study so much in Law school. If Preet is dead, you didn't kill him. If Kiran Jiju is missing, you are not the one who lost him. If Sneha is annoying, you are not responsible.
Now if you understand what I am trying to say than this would be much easier. If not, let me repeat, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS. Now that we are clear on that, let's go to my second problem with you. Stop stop STOP butting into everyone's lives! It just gets you in trouble. I know you are a mahan soul and love to be bali ka bakra, but it ends up with you only suffering. Nobody remembers your heroic actions. Just because your parents promised someone doesn't mean you'll forget your hottie Prem and marry a mad Manmeet. It's you that would lose Prem. If Lallu has a problem with Prem doesn't mean you'll fly over into a tornado. If Prem doesn't come to save you on time, you'll drown. If Rishabh is a ghada doesn't mean you make a grand plan of ruining your brother's life by making him marry Veera. Later when Veera becomes tandori chicken, your mother in law would make a plan and you'll be seperated from Prem for 6 years. If Rishabh gets all the property, you don't marry him to save your family. You'lll just be running in Rajistan's deserts all day long. If someone is threatening you that they'll trap your hottie husband, you don't running around with your childhood best friend giving your hottie husband wrong ideas. It would end up with him sleeping with your cousin. If your best friend is in love with your husband, you don't pretend to hate him so she can marry him. Your daughter would expose everything. Do you get what I am trying to say? Everytime you try to be Mahaan, you become bali ka bakra or your plans don't work. So stop trying!
Also I know you are supposed to be a matchmaker but except one (Soni and Yuvraj), your matchmaking efforts have gone to the dogs. Nihaal and Veera = Veera becoming tandori chicken. Rano and Prem = Rano running away to her old lover. Geet and Prem = Prem and Geet making a fool out of you. Meher and Viran = Viran getting all the property and Gayatri hating you more. Stop stop stop! Just enjoy your rab ne bana di jodi with Prem and play Phingoli. Rab would make other jodis, you don't have to!
Not everyone is related to you. Kuljeet is not your Chachi. Who cares what she says? The driver is not your uncle, he's like 16 and your supposed to be at least 30. Sneha is not your daughter, stop making her say you are her Mama. Viren is not your brother, he'll bite you in the back.
Last but not least, your house is not Hotel Ramada! You made Ashlesha stay with you guys, she slept with your husband. You adopted Sneha, she starts acting like Chahat. You brought Shri Malini/Gurmeet home, she turned out to be in the family of your (current) worst enemy! Now you brought Viren home and he'll kick you all out. So stop bringing everyone you see on the streets, home.
What I am trying to say, God gave you a really nice gorgeous husband. Instead of becoming the Mother Theresa of Ekta's world, pay attention to only him. Have fun with him and let the others solve their own problems. Your life would be so much easier. Just look at Maya.
That is all.
As I remain, as always, your loyal supporter,
Mrs. Fari Ranbir Kapoor
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