Abusive marriage - Page 3

Originally posted by: DevilsHeart

I understand that supporting someone with anger issues might be triggering for many who read these posts.

I am sorry if I have caused you any emotional distress - that was never my intention. And if you or your loved ones have suffered from similar problems- please know that i am not trying to blame the victim or anything.

If you would keep an open mind and would like to know my reasons please read the following message else you may ignore it.

Yes, anger issues are bad and as someone who has lived with quiet a few people who have a bad temper - i can only say that anger is not always unjustified. If there is a valid reason to be angry about - one should get angry.

How one takes out that anger could be questionable. And when things get out of hand, i do believe that it should be addressed. Had Abhimanyu been heartless or idiotic or evil I would agree with many others that he should pay for his actions. But he is kind, intelligent and affectionate and I truly believe that such a person can work on his issues(with the help of his friends and family or a counsellor). Honestly, I would have loved the story had they shown people going for therapy or counseling as mental and emotional well being is not taken seriously in our country. It would help remove the stigma attached towards seeking out professional help.

It doesn’t matter to me which pairing is the end game. I am more concerned with these issues getting addressed - they could show all the leads deciding to and trying to work on their problems and equations so that the children do not suffer and/or repeat their mistakes. It would be best to show them becoming each other’s friends, critics and grow together for kids’ sakes. And in this process or journey they can establish the pairings any way they want.

Also, I get that Abhinav and Akshara have lived peacefully for last 6 years - but if she cannot reciprocate his love, she should free him. Its unfair to him. He can remain a father figure to Abhir even if they are not husband-wife. A woman who runs behind her ex after his accident like the world has ended or cries looking at ‘methidana’ or talks to herself “why i am not able to give Abhinav what he wants from me” and then tries to get intimate with him which she later describes as a “test” - it just appears to be out of insecurities. It will be okay even if she decides to stay single if she feels incapable of falling in love again. Right now she has trapped herself and Abhinav in this marriage. And her family instead of trying to understand what she feels for him and then untangling the mess, is instead pushing her to take her relationship forward.

Regarding Abhinav picking the call 6 years back - I think he should have just asked him to hold and not said anything about kids n stuff. But for that I wouldn’t really blame him - he didn’t know Abhimanyu as a person. All he only knew was that he is the guy who left Akshara and is ignoring her calls. He didn’t have enough information to make the best choice during that call.

The only place where I partially disagree is Abhinav trapped them initially by agreeing to marry a women who had just delivered a baby in traumatic circumstances after a complicated pregnancy and had just gone through a life changing traumatic experience. She wasn’t thinking straight during those times but he was being selfish too as he wanted to be a father to a child irrespective of how he got to be.

Agree after Udaipur track, when Abhinav offered to leave it was Ak’s decision to stay on but she is already trapped, how can she leave someone who stayed with her for 6 years!!

Originally posted by: zeal123

Hi all,

I was just passing through the forum. After reading a few posts, this thought suddenly stuck me. Will we also force our sisters or daughters to stay in an abusive marriage? Will we also constantly criticize our girls for moving on from a relationship which seemed to drain her energy. This scared me so much. Hope this thought process is limited to only fictional shows. But it scares me that we still are able to think like this even if for fictional characters.

I am just sharing what I thoughts. Do not want to hurt anyone.

People on forum ig are mature enough to take fiction as fiction. Do you really think if any gangster gives a girl 365 days to fall in love with him the victim will seduce him fck him fall in love and get married?

Real life and fiction should be kept separated aur iske liye mid banane ki kya zarurat thi?

Originally posted by: Bloody-Mary

Fiction : something that is invented and is untrue

People on forum ig are mature enough to take fiction as fiction. Do you really think if any gangster gives a girl 365 days to fall in love with him the victim will seduce him fck him fall in love and get married?

Real life and fiction should be kept separated aur iske liye mid banane ki kya zarurat thi?

I know plenty of people who were absolutely disgusted by that movie too. And , imo, that is the reaction a normal person who possesses a good judgement and a rational mindset will have

Originally posted by: reddit_toe

Again I can’t agree more because I personally have anger issues and am working on it and it is my husband who supports and understands and doesn’t leave me alone in situations. After all in marriage we sign up for both sukh and dukh. Had he being not understanding I wouldn’t have started working on the issue because it is not always individual effort sometimes it takes entire family to come together. I can totally relate to Abhimanyu and hence empathise with him just that I don’t support divorce. He could have given her divorce after cooling down and sending her back to Goenka’s if both felt that this cannot be worked out.

And then you go around justifying Abhimanyu abandoning his wife during her highest dard.

If you expect Akshara to stick around with Abhimanyu inspite of his anger issues, why do you not expect Abhimanyu to understand Akshara's sacrificial nature.

None is supporting an abusive marriage, is what I have observed here. They just don't think that the marriage is abusive.

It is not just one group but every ship is working like that, in the episode where they couldn't pay for doctor's fee, an angry Akshara physically assaulted Abhinav but that particular ship and marriage is the most loved one here. None cares about Abhinav being in an abusive marriage, why?

It is not a stand alone issue, Akshara has assaulted Abhimanyu in similar manner twice but none wants to speak about violent nature of Akshara

The abuse is the issue, right? If I have problem with an abusive partner why would my stand change with the people involved in it? 😆

None really cares about abuse or these social issues, these are just used to put the other ship down and I see everyone doing it then feeling righteous about it and belittle the cause in the process

The moment Akshara leaves Abhinav, she'll be abused by everyone who is supporting her right now and other side will start supporting and speaking for a woman's right to decide what she wants in life. People just want their ship to sail and nothing else

It is a television show, let people enjoy it the way they want to enjoy 🤦‍♀️

Originally posted by: Kacchakela21

And then you go around justifying Abhimanyu abandoning his wife during her highest dard.

If you expect Akshara to stick around with Abhimanyu inspite of his anger issues, why do you not expect Abhimanyu to understand Akshara's sacrificial nature.

If you are quoting me then please read the full para. I wrote I don’t support the divorce and what he did. He could have cool down and then taken the decision. Don’t just instigate or jump on conclusions with one line in the entire para.

Originally posted by: reddit_toe

Again I can’t agree more because I personally have anger issues and am working on it and it is my husband who supports and understands and doesn’t leave me alone in situations. After all in marriage we sign up for both sukh and dukh. Had he being not understanding I wouldn’t have started working on the issue because it is not always individual effort sometimes it takes entire family to come together. I can totally relate to Abhimanyu and hence empathise with him just that I don’t support divorce. He could have given her divorce after cooling down and sending her back to Goenka’s if both felt that this cannot be worked out.

Originally posted by: Krinya

I forgot to mention..

Akshara didnt "cause" Neil's death or the death of her babies. It was an unfortunate accident . So unless they tell me akshara planned Neil's death, stabbed him or poisoned him and killed her babies , I won't accept any argument .

Just as abhinanyu didn't cause abhirs serious condition .

So pl we won't get into she should have would have could have done x y z things ..

@bold

I agree with this yar..people r blaming akshu for being irresponsible..if in case akshu and neil saved all the girls they will praise them and news paper head lines will be like bravo a pregnent women and her devar saved girls.

It is easy for others to blame easily.and ofcourse wat ever u do people judge but it needs kind and brave heart to take that decision in emergency times.

I heard some one saying that she is pregnent first she should look after herself and her kids. i know one should be selfish and look at their situation first

But people react in different ways some one become numb in that situation some one react instantly and contact police and wait for their arrival. Some one just jump into sitation with out knowing wat to do but to do something which they can do.

They.dont think about their condition their future bla bla..

Let me tell u one real life example

15 yrs back one situation happened in my village..2 girls drowned in river (nearly age of 8 years)..one boy saw them he is around 10 i think..he dont know swimming but only he is in that place..if he didnt take risk both will die..he didnt think abt any consequences he just jumped and saved 2 girls but his health detoriated and joined in hsptl he was in hospital for one week

He risked his life even though he dont know swimming. He didnt think abt his life r abt his parents he only thought about saving girls.

Some people r like that they r too kind and think abt others some r slefish(and im not saying being selfish is bad if im in that situation i will act selfish i will think abt my kids but just want to say there r kind people in this world who put others first) so akshu who is think of others comes under "being too kind" set of category she is not murderer.

And yeah for me person having severe anger issues and mummas boy r red flags what ever past deeds he done if he crushed my self respect then he is big no for me and im happy i chose selfrespect i had given so many chances to change himself he used to change for one day.and come back to square another day. Even i have anger issues but not in such a way that i loose my control on my mind i wont throw any harmful items on r near that person i wont disrespect him r his family ..i wont use cuss words i.wont charcter assasinate him.i wont do what ever my.mom told becz i have my own brain i can think wll i dont need my mom dictatorship like him.when he did all the above mentioned.i left holding my head high. Thank god life is not ITV im not itv door mat fl who runs back to her toxic ex even though i still loves him...i still had some good memories with him but that doesnt mean i will forgot what he and his family done to me. Im in peace now i need peaceful life than painful toxic life.

I like akshnav and i love hc and i just love to read different people perspectives so i stalk this and ghum forum i harldy cmnts on posts and i didnt watch white day episodes fully so my story is also based on clips and forum member discussions so please if any one r not ok with my pov agree to disagree😊

And i like akshanv and saiya more than abhira and sairat

Im following these shows froms starting so i also invested some time and some feelings from my side.but i wont get emotionally attached to any show y not when i emotionally invested my life in a relation. i got ditched brutally then how can i attach to a no head and tail fictional show🤣🤣 some times i feel we r writinng these many essays to charcters. We will remind each and every scenes and point out flaws..we support our fav charcter and trash another charcter only get ditched by cvs who didnt remember the previous.episode wat they.shot😅

Sorry fr my rant😅

Originally posted by: Kacchakela21

I know plenty of people who were absolutely disgusted by that movie too. And , imo, that is the reaction a normal person who possesses a good judgement and a rational mindset will have

When I ask if he/she/they wants to experience this in real life the firm reply was NO

Not exactly abusive but their relationship was not very compatible. Yes they were madly in love with each other and passionate lovers but very lousy husband and wife companionship. Abhimanyu wanted to marry akshara and bring her to his family but didn't want her to get involved in their issues. He was always like stay away from my family matters be it saans sasur rishta or baap beta rishta even taiji and tauji. I mean which girl will remain indifferent to the daily drama happening in that birla house 🤦🏻‍♀️ sasur insulting saans and devar her husband shouting at his father at top of his voice and others just mute spectators even in front of her Goenka family. Married woman has to keep respect of Both mayka and sasural in front of each other.He may have married her but didn't make her his family there was always that distance between her and his family. It was easy falling in love and dancing around romancing but they both failed at struggle of maintaining relationship. Abhinav akshara marriage is more like arranged marriage with strangers where they are both unknown and trying to understand eachother slowly supporting through tough times respecting boundaries though it's painfully slow and may never be completely consumated marriage but still they are ideal married couple.